21. Molly
Chapter 21
Molly
A knock sounded on the bedroom door, and I froze, knowing it was Colton on the other side. Of course, he wanted to talk, probably to ream me out again for daring to take a nap in the middle of the day. Of course, that wasn’t fair. He was worried about his son, which I understood, completely, but he should know me better than that, thinking I would leave with Hunter without telling him first.
He doesn’t know me at all.
That was heartbreaking, especially since I had only just realized how much I loved him. I wanted to make a home here with Colton and Hunter, and the goats, maybe even expand our family. That’s what I wanted, how I dreamed of our future together playing out. But while I was dreaming up this fairytale life we could have together, he didn’t even really know me.
The knock sounded again, and I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t give up. That wasn’t the kind of man he was. Might as well get this over with. I unfolded my legs and pushed off the bed, exhaling deeply before I opened the door.
“Yes?”
Colton actually looked nervous as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, raking a hand through his already mussed hair.
“Hey. Can we, uh, talk?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think that’s necessary, Colton.” I took a step back to close the door on him and my earlier realization, but he was a man on a mission. I tried to close the door, but his hand flew out to stop it.
“Please?” The anguish in his voice made my heart squeeze in my chest.
I nodded. “Fine. Sure. I’ll be down in a minute.” This time, he stepped back and nodded just as I closed the door and slammed my eyes shut. I needed to be strong; I knew that. The pull Colton had on me was immense; he was a magnet that I would always be attracted to, and I needed to steel myself against that, against his allure.
You can be strong, Molly. No, you are strong.
I repeated those words over and over until I stood as tall as I possibly could, with my shoulders squared and my spine straight. I would look Colton in the eyes and listen to what he had to say without getting emotional. I would speak my piece, and then that would be it; we could both get on with our lives. Separately.
My legs buckled at the thought of living separately from Colton, at the idea, no, the reality of watching him start to date again. Fall in love. Get married. “No.” I couldn’t do that to myself. I wouldn’t. Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall before I spoke with Colton, so I squeezed my eyes even tighter until the urge subsided. A quick splash of cold water on my face, and I was as ready as I would ever be to face him.
Colton was down in the kitchen, making quick work of the dinner I’d left for him. He looked up at me and flashed an unsure smile. “Hey, thanks for coming down.”
I shrugged. “You wanted to talk.”
He nodded. “I did,” he said in a gentle tone, motioning for me to take a seat across from him at the table.
My legs felt like logs as I moved forward, dropping down in the chair as if all the life had been drained from my body. I watched him carefully, the play of emotions on his handsome face, the way his jaw clenched as if he was trying to hold back his emotions.
I love him.
The words entered my mind without prompting; it was just a visceral emotion, a constant realization each time I saw him, just how deeply I felt for this man. “Look,” I said finally, because the silence was getting to me the way it often did during long stretches of quiet. Strangely, it was never that way with Colton; being with him in the silence had been comforting. Until now.
“Molly,” he began, but I shook my head and pushed forward with what I had to say.
“No, I need to say this. I’m sorry for making you worry about Hunter like that, truly. But I thought you knew me well enough to know that I wouldn’t leave the ranch without letting you know. I was wrong,” I said softly, ignoring the ache in my chest. “But still, there was no reason for you to speak to me the way you did. I know I’m just an employee, but I’m a person, and I deserve respect.”
His hazel eyes were more brown and gold than green as they studied me carefully, his expression blank save for the way his jaw continued to clench. “You’re right; you deserve better than the way I spoke to you, and I am so damn sorry, Molly. It was just, shit,” he bit out harshly and pushed his plate away. “It’s not an excuse, but I was just so worried, and I reacted badly.”
“Okay. Glad we cleared that up.” I stood on shaky legs, ignoring my racing heart. Ignoring the urge to sit back down and fight for us, but what would be the point? Just like Travis, he didn’t really know me either.
“Sit down, Molly.” His voice was deep and commanding, a thread of something dark in his tone.
I froze and paid no attention to the twinge of arousal that ricocheted through my body at his commanding tone. Now was not the time to get turned on, even though that was a common occurrence in his presence. “We both have said what we needed to say.”
“No,” he growled. “We haven’t. Sit. Down. Please,” he added in a softer tone that seemed to have a tether to my legs because they bent easily, and once again I was sitting across from him, pretending my heart wasn’t breaking. “You’re wrong,” he said eventually, breaking the tense silence in the kitchen.
I blinked, feeling as if I’d entered the room in the middle of a conversation. “Wrong about what?” I rested my hands in my lap and tried to look as calm as I could, reluctant to show any hint of the riot of emotions that swirled in my chest and my gut, my head. My heart.
“I do know you better than that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t, and it’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but it is what it is. I work here, and there’s no reason you should know me any better than any other employee.” It was my own damn fault for thinking sharing a bed meant something more than some temporary, convenient fun.
“Molly,” he growled and smacked one palm on the kitchen table. “I do know you, dammit! I know that you love my son, I know that you nibble your bottom lip when you’re unsure of yourself. I know that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know that you are the best fucking thing to happen to me and Hunter in a long damn time.”
The objection perched on the tip of my tongue died a quick and painful death. My shoulders fell because I really and truly wanted to believe his words, more than anything. But facts didn’t lie. “If that was true, then you wouldn’t have assumed the worst.”
“I do know you.” His nostrils flared, and he leaned forward until the top half of his body spread over the table. “But you’re right about one thing, I did assume the worst, but not about you. For you.” Colton leaned back and covered his face with both hands, letting them slide slowly down his face as if he could just wipe away his anger. “You think I want to tell you this? Because I don’t, Molly. I don’t ever want to be the man to put the look on your face I know I’m going to see in a minute.”
I frowned. “You’re firing me.” It made sense, and I was only shocked that it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that that’s what he would do.
“What? God, no.” He stood and stalked around the table until he was right beside me, in the chair usually occupied by Hunter. He gathered my hands in his and settled his hazel gaze on my face. “Buck dropped off your car today.”
I nodded. “He said that he would, and I already paid for the new tires.” I frowned, trying to figure out what my car had to do with anything. “If you saw Buck, then you knew I didn’t have a car to leave the ranch.” I pushed away from him, suddenly angry as I realized what he was doing. “You didn’t have to manufacture a reason to get rid of me, Colton.”
His brows dipped into a dark scowl, and he gripped my wrists tighter when I tried to pull away from him, to put some distance between us. “I would never do that, but it is nice to know what you think of me.” His smile lacked all traces of humor and joy.
“You’re being very vague, and you yelled at me earlier, as if you think that I would ever do anything to harm Hunter. It’s not that I think badly of you; the exact opposite, in fact. But I know that sometimes sex is just sex.”
“Molly,” he interrupted and loosened his grip on my wrists.
“No, it’s fine. I misread things, and that’s on me.”
“I’m not firing you, Molly.”
I nodded. “You don’t have to, not technically, since I’m not actually hired yet.”
Colton dropped my wrists like they’d burned him, pushing out of the chair so he towered over me. He tossed a small black rectangle with a blinking red light on the table in front of me. “I’m not firing you, Molly. I asked Buck to give your car a checkup to make sure everything was in order, and he found this under the car.”
I frowned at the black box. “What is it?”
“A tracker. Someone put a goddamn tracker on your car, Molly. That’s why I was so frantically looking for you and Hunter. That’s why I reacted badly; it was relief.” He sat down again and cupped the sides of my face before pressing his forehead to mine. “I was so fucking relieved to see you and Hunter safe and asleep there by the lake, and all the fear and anger rose to the surface. I’m sorry.” His lips touched mine in a whisper-soft kiss that sent another bolt of fire through my body.
My body shook against his, but it wasn’t arousal, well no more than the usual level I felt around Colton. No, this was something different, colder and more worrisome. It was shock, and it was fear. And just underneath that, it was shame and guilt. I knew exactly who would do such a thing, who had done it, and I had naively believed he wouldn’t do this.
“Are you sure?”
Colton nodded. “Shocked Buck too; that’s why he drove the car out here himself.”
My hands shook as I turned over my phone and unlocked the screen. “I’m so sorry, Colton. I wish that this hadn’t touched you or this place.” I apologized profusely as I swiped and scrolled until I unblocked Travis’ number. “I’m so sorry,” the words flew from my mouth in a whisper at what appeared on the screen. Travis had called me hundreds of times starting the day I left Houston for the McCall Ranch. There were close to one thousand text messages filled with threats and apologies and promises he would never, had never, kept.
Colton took the phone from my hand and glared down at all the missed calls and messages. “This from your ex?”
I nodded. “I’ll go to the police tomorrow and report this here. Maybe they can keep a closer eye on the ranch.” And in the meantime, I could draw his attention from the ranch, from Hunter and the animals. “Oh my god, do you think he’s the one who’s been screwing with the animals?”
“Not until this moment.” He looked angrier than I’d ever seen him, and I couldn’t blame him.
I also knew what I had to do. “I should go.” My heart lurched at the thought of leaving the McCall men behind, but it was for the best. “If I’m not here, Travis won’t have a reason to interfere. You and Hunter and everyone else here will be safe.”
“No.”
I smiled, even though the last thing I wanted to do was smile. “It’s all right, Colton. This is my decision. I have to do this.”
“No, you don’t have to leave. You belong here.”
“Trust me, I haven’t felt as if I belonged in a lot of places in my life, most places really, but I feel like I belong here, and I don’t want to think about leaving, but I have to think about Hunter.”
“And what about you? Do you think it’s smart to go at this guy alone? To leave yourself vulnerable to this crazy fucker?”
“No, but Hunter is more important.”
“So are you, Molly. You’re important to me, and I want you to stay.”
I shook my head to ward off the effect his words had on my racing heart. “Serenity will find you another nanny.”
“I don’t want another nanny,” he barked. “I want you, Molly. Just you.”
“Colton,” I whimpered.
“I want you, Molly. No one else but you. And even if you leave, I’ll still worry about you, and that will leave me distracted.” He smiled. “Besides, you’ll hear from Serenity soon enough to learn that I’ve extended the contract.”
“You did?” I wasn’t sure if that made me happy, that I would have more time with them, or sad because he hadn’t asked me to stay as more than his son’s nanny.
“I did, and if you don’t agree, it’s because you don’t want to stay here with us.” Sadness swam in his eyes, and I watched with tears in my own eyes as he stood and walked out of the kitchen, his food abandoned, the room suddenly silent and lifeless.
Had I just made a huge mistake? Was staying on the ranch a bigger mistake? Colton had the power to break me, and though he made it clear that I was important to him, he hadn’t said more than that.
I sighed heavily, the weight of the world suddenly pressing down on my shoulders. A decision had to be made, and I was the only one who could make it.
Did I want to stay here on the ranch? Absolutely.
Was it the most sensible course of action considering my feelings for Colton? Probably not, but I could not abandon Hunter, who’d already lost so much.
I straightened the kitchen and retired to my room, knowing that I had a lot to think about before the sun rose on the next day, before Serenity called with the good news.
Before Colton changed his mind.