Chapter 10 Rosalee
Rosalee
It's so quiet up here. Always quiet. This was the third, or maybe the fourth, day I'd had this thought.
When Serenity first told me about a placement on the mountain, my biggest concern was the wild animals.
Hearing sounds all through the night had me feeling hesitant and terrified, but after a few nights—and days—the silence was more problematic.
Aside from a few cries from Violet—she finally had a name!
—it was so oppressively silent that my anxiety ratcheted up about a million points, or however anxiety was measured.
All week it was the same. Xavier was gone when we woke up and started our day, he came back briefly around lunch, and then he stayed gone until after sunset.
I didn't ask what he was doing or where he went because it wasn't my business, and he'd made it more than clear that his business—personal or professional—was none of my concern.
When he came back in the evenings, the silence remained, but it was accompanied by tension as I kept my word and taught him the ins and outs of parenting a baby.
The good news was that Xavier had finally opened the envelope.
He didn't say so directly—he rarely spoke more than twenty words to me a day—but it was clear he had because Violet now had a name.
It was progress for him, but I didn't comment on it or anything other than how he was coming along with changing diapers, making bottles, and burping babies.
"So, Violet, what do you think about soup for lunch today?
" I laughed to myself when she babbled an incoherent answer.
"I know soup is pretty much permanently on the menu these days, but I'm in the mood for something new.
I just hope your daddy doesn't mind." And if he did mind, well, he could make his own lunch and dinner.
Feeling inspired, I decided to make some flatbread to go with the Indian stew I felt like making.
My phone buzzed on the countertop, and I glanced over and froze.
I'd deleted the number from my phone, but there was only one person with a seven-eight-six area code who would be calling me. Jason. My ex.
I ignored the call and went back to rolling out the dough for the flatbread, hoping that would make him go away. Eight messages later, it seemed to have worked.
"Ba-ma-ba-ba-wa!"
I turned with a smile. "You're right, I should let the flatbreads rise for a few minutes before I pop them in the oven.
And sure, I'll feed you first." I swore she smiled at me as if she understood.
"Let's start with this." I tried a smashed-up banana and mashed sweet potatoes, and she ate enough for me to feel confident she was older than I originally thought.
I added the foods to my notes on what she liked and didn't like so that I could pass them on to Xavier at some point. Maybe I would just email it to him; that would probably be for the best.
The man had an annoying habit of being both infuriating and gorgeous, which confused me, or rather, my body. I both wanted him and wanted to be as far away from him as possible, which just left me a mixed-up, hormonal mess.
I put the bread in the oven before settling Violet down for her afternoon nap, and Xavier stomped in just as my feet hit the bottom of the stairs.
I stared at the beautiful sight he made as he shrugged out of his thick, wool-lined flannel jacket to reveal a dark gray thermal that hugged his biceps and pecs in the most delicious way.
He tugged off his shoes, a move that drew attention to his thick thighs and slender waist. Damn, he's just perfect.
He looked up at me with a scowl on his face—of course—and I scowled in return. He was always scowling and always annoyed, and I wasn't sure if it was the unknown situation with Violet or if it was me, but I decided that I didn't care.
I popped my earbuds in and started a new audiobook while I finished making lunch.
The old Rosalee, the one who bent over backward to make sure there was never any tension, who made sure everybody was happy except her, was gone.
These days my focus was on me and my happiness first. Well, after Violet's, of course, because she was a baby and my charge, and she was so stinkin' sweet.
I checked the oven and reset the timer, folding a load of laundry while my stomach protested its hunger loudly.
At least I thought it was loudly, because that's how it felt while I listened to the unfolding story of best friends who realized they wanted to be more.
I was aware of Xavier moving throughout the cabin, and I worked hard to ignore him, which was easy when I escaped upstairs to put away Violet's laundry as well as my own.
She was still sleeping peacefully, so I hooked the monitor onto my back pocket and went back to the kitchen.
The flatbreads made me smile. "Perfect!" I set them on a cooling rack and went to grab a drink from the fridge.
When I turned, Xavier was there, literally right there behind me, and then in front of me. "Oh! You scared me."
His hand went to my mouth, a scowl on his face—still—and then he shushed me. Shushed. Me. I did something I hadn't done since I was a kid. I licked his palm. He withdrew his hand quickly and frowned. "Did you just lick my hand?"
I shoved at his chest, but he didn't move, of course. "You scared me, covered my mouth, and then you shushed me."
"Violet is sleeping," he whisper-shouted.
"I know," I answered through clenched teeth. "I put her to sleep." But his nearness was getting to me, and the temperature in the room shot up by about ten million degrees.
His gray eyes were dark and stormy, swirling with emotions I couldn't read. His full lips were thick and lush and, goodness gracious, I wanted to kiss them.
Badly.
I stepped back and banged into the fridge with a groan, grabbing the back of my head. "Excuse me," I growled and slammed the bottle of water on the table harder than necessary before I ladled a bowl of stew for myself.
"What in the hell is this?" he roared, and the question echoed off the wood cabinets.
"The baby's sleeping," I said in a sing-song voice as I scooped up the first spoonful and groaned at the burst of flavors on my tongue.
"And it's lentil stew," I answered before getting back to my audiobook.
I jumped up to grab two flatbreads, mostly ignoring the perma-scowl on Xavier's face, before I returned to my seat with a satisfied smile.
This was perfect. A rich, hearty stew and a delicious romance book were the perfect way to spend an afternoon. The book was just starting to get good. The hero and heroine had kissed—twice—and now they were about to talk about it. In the back of his pickup truck underneath a big, bright moon.
"Are you listening to me?"
I blinked and looked up into—surprise, surprise—a scowling pair of gray eyes. "What?" I paused the book and returned his scowl, and then some.
"I was talking to you, and you didn't say a word."
I shrugged. "I didn't realize talking was something we did. I was listening to a book," I said and pointed to one of my earbuds. "What were you talking to me about, Xavier?"
He sighed, his nostrils flaring with annoyance and his jaw clenched, but when he spoke, his tone was neutral. Neutral for Xavier, anyway. "I opened the envelope and I read the papers inside."
I stared blankly, unsure if I was supposed to respond. "Okay."
There it was—that annoyed look.
"Why don't you tell me what I'm supposed to say here, Xavier? Because I feel like whatever I say or do is wrong." My heart raced. As much as I wanted to be the newer, bolder version of myself, it wasn't always easy.
"I need to take Violet to a doctor."
I nodded my agreement. "It's probably a good idea just to get her a checkup and make sure she's had vaccinations and all that stuff."
He sighed heavily. "I need to do a paternity test."
Ew. "You think she might not be yours?"
His jaw clenched at my question, and it was the first real sign that he wasn't entirely comfortable having this conversation.
"Sorry. None of my business. I'll have her ready for her appointment. Just tell me when."
"Her mother seems to think I'm Violet's father, and I need to be sure so that I can move forward and proceed with all the rights of a father. I want you to come with us to the appointment."
"Of course." Violet was my job; of course he'd want me there.
"She likes you better than me," he said with a sheepish smile. "And I don't know how she does with doctors, so having her favorite person there will likely put her at ease."
Holy Swoon City! "Yes. Of course. Just tell me the date and time."
His broad shoulders seemed to relax now that he had my agreement, and he sat back and dug into the stew. "It's pretty good. Never had this kind of stew before. Or the bread."
"You don't like Indian food?"
"Not a lot of that up here," he growled in response.
"I doubt you've lived your entire life on this mountain.
" But it was clear he didn't want to share details, and I didn't want to have to pull answers from another strong, silent type, so I hit play on my book again.
Fictional boyfriends were superior to real-life men anyway, and when they disappointed you, they figured it out and made it right.
Two bowls later, Xavier waved a hand in front of my face to get my attention again. "Thank you for lunch, Rosalee. It was delicious."
"You're welcome."
"Thank you for all the lunches. It's been very helpful," he grunted.
"Well, I am the help, remember?" It was a joke, but Xavier's face paled, and I made a quick exit before the conversation turned into something confrontational.