Chapter 12 Rosalee
Rosalee
"It's okay, sweet girl." I held Violet in my arms for most of the morning because the poor thing was especially fussy and I couldn't figure out why. Maybe her mood was synced with Xavier's, or maybe she picked up on my own anxiety over Jason's constant calls and texts.
His last text came ten minutes ago. Don't ignore me, Rosie.
I shuddered at his use of that hated nickname that only he ever called me. It was his attempt to infantilize me, to make me feel as if I couldn't survive without him, and I smiled to myself because I had survived without him.
The phone rang, and it was Jason. Again. I ignored that call and the two others that came back-to-back. I didn't know what he wanted and I didn't care, but I couldn't deny the unease that went through me with every call and every text.
Violet fussed again, and I held her against my chest, soothing her as best I could, but nothing seemed to make her happy today.
"I know, baby girl. Sometimes a gal just needs to sit in her feelings to work 'em out.
" Her soft cries faded, and I noticed her body was a tad warm.
Not enough to be alarming, just something to keep an eye on as the day progressed. "Maybe a nap will help."
I put Violet down and grabbed the monitor before I headed to the kitchen.
It was gloomy outside, and the snow hadn't let up all day, which made it perfect weather for soup.
Again. I lost myself in a romance book while I chopped veggies and meat and put everything into a giant pot, simmering it until the house was full of delicious smells and comforting heat.
I was vaguely aware of Xavier when he stepped inside the house, stomping the snow from his boots before he took them off along with his outer layer of clothing.
He didn't stop to speak or get my attention as he left the kitchen, so I didn't either.
He was such a mercurial guy, and I didn't always have the mental energy to deal with it, so today I let him be and decided that nothing went better with beef and veggie stew than biscuits. Fresh-from-the-oven homemade biscuits.
The kitchen filled with even more delicious scents, and my stomach growled loudly, making me laugh.
The oven timer on my phone alerted me that the biscuits were done, and I pulled them from the oven to let them cool while I went to wash my face.
The kitchen was warmer than the rest of the house, and I felt flushed, certain it had nothing to do with the steamy scene playing out on my audiobook. Almost certain, anyway.
I twisted the knob on the bathroom door just as it flew open, and I was face-to-chest with a broad chest and rippled abs sprinkled with dark hair that covered a layer of impressive muscles.
My mouth watered and then it went dry. I knew Xavier was built; he was a big man, and the fabric of his clothes clung to him like a jealous lover, but seeing him in the flesh took me by surprise.
My gaze crawled up his abs, over two perfectly round, pale brown nipples, his collarbone, and impressive neck muscles, all the way up to a scowling face and moving lips.
Moving lips. Shit. I tapped the button on one of my earbuds to pause the story and frowned. "What?"
"I said, watch where you're going. What were you doing anyway? I was in the shower."
I shrugged in the face of his anger. "I needed to wash my face, and I didn't know you were in here."
"The shower was running for the past fifteen minutes."
I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and pointed at the hot pink bud. "I was listening to a book."
His scowl intensified as if listening to an audiobook was an offensive act. "And what if Violet was crying? What if she needed you?"
"The monitor has a screen on it, which I've been watching since I put her down for a nap.
If you have a problem with how I do my job, then just say so, but don't you dare question my care for Violet.
" I folded my arms, suddenly no longer hot and bothered by his bare chest. And abs. Okay, still a little hot and bothered.
"Just do your damn job!"
"I do my damn job," I shot back, my anger rising. "I do things that aren't even my job, so maybe you should show a little damn gratitude, Mr. Holloway." I poked at his chest and took a step back to mark away angrily, but he grabbed my wrist, a move that effectively stopped any effort to escape.
"Don't call me Mr. Holloway." His voice was dark and low, more seductive than menacing.
"That's your name, isn't it?" Dammit, my own voice was husky too. Thick with desire.
"Rosalee," he growled.
"Let me go." There, my voice sounded strong and even, letting him know I meant business.
There was a brief flash of disappointment that I would think about later, but before I could tell myself that it was for the best, he pulled me flush against his blessedly hard chest and speared both hands through my thick hair, angling my head perfectly to accept his kiss when it crashed down on me.
His lips were soft yet firm, his grip on me commanding while his thumbs gently brushed along the line of my jaw.
I had never been kissed like this before.
I wasn't sure anyone in the world had ever been kissed the way Xavier kissed me.
He teased my lips for at least one full eternity, sliding his tongue along the length of my top lip, my bottom lip, and then back and forth across the seam until I released a breathless gasp.
Then he slipped past my lips, and when our tongues collided, it was like an explosion of sensation ricocheted throughout my body, bouncing against my chest, coursing through my veins, and even shaking my bones before it settled low in my belly. Between my thighs.
My hands went to his chest, the hard, short hairs slightly abrasive on my palms, but his racing heart was what I focused on, stunned to realize he was as into the kiss as I was.
Xavier pulled me closer until I was slightly bent backward.
His chest covered mine as he deepened the kiss, forcing me to cling to his shoulders, which I didn't mind one bit.
My skin was hot all over, and I felt moisture gather between my legs, dampening my panties.
His hips pressed into mine, and he was hard. Really hard and very long beneath the towel, and that slight pressure made me breathless. And hungry. Oh, so very hungry for this man with his big muscles, his strong hands, and his grumpy demeanor.
Grumpy. My boss was a grumpy son of a gun, but he was also hot. And passionate.
And my boss.
I pulled back, mortified at what I'd just done.
My eyes went so wide I felt them drying out almost immediately.
My mouth dropped open, and I couldn't look away from Xavier's erection and the way it bobbed behind the towel.
I didn't want to, but I forced my gaze up to his face and found his nostrils flaring and his eyes dark with—was that desire?
"I'm sorry, Xavier—I mean Mr. Holloway. Shit.
I didn't mean to…I mean, I shouldn't have…
shit." I turned on my heels and rushed to my room, locking the door behind me.
What had I done?
Would he fire me?
And if he did fire me, where would I go? Could I continue to work as a nanny?
I didn't know, but I knew who would. "Hey, Toni, sorry to bother you. Do you have a minute to talk?"
"Yeah, sure, just eating my way through a box of barbecue ribs and caramel popcorn. What's up?"
It sounded gross, but pregnant women had odd cravings. "How's the pregnancy?"
"Good, and when it's not good, it's awful. What's wrong?"
I frowned. "Who said anything was wrong?"
"The tone of your voice. Talk to me about anything other than my tiny bladder and increasingly strange cravings. Please!"
I laughed. "Okay. Don't laugh, but is there some kind of curse on Executive Nanny Services?" I laughed again because I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
There was a long silence before laughter bubbled out of Toni. "What did you do?"
"I kissed my boss," I blurted out and replayed the last five minutes in as much detail as I could.
"It sounds more like the dad kissed you."
I thought about it and nodded even though she couldn't see me. "Still, I shouldn't have kissed him back. I shouldn't have ogled him. What am I going to do?"
"That depends on what you want to do and on what he wants to do."
"That is not an answer, Toni! There is nothing to be done. He's my grumpy boss, and this is my first job."
"Yeah, yeah," she said dismissively. "And no one tells you how difficult it can be when there's an attraction. You get close to single parents, you become a unit, and maybe even friends. Or more. It just depends on the twosome."
That made sense, but it didn't answer my question. "Okay, so what do I do?"
"Whatever feels right. If it happens again, figure out if that's what you want. If it doesn't, can you go back to your normal relationship?"
"He's usually grumpy and gruff, so that shouldn't be a problem." I might not be able to stop thinking about the sight of him in nothing but a towel, but I wasn't a bold woman, so there was no chance of me attacking him when he realized it was all a big mistake. "Thank you, Toni."
"No problem. And hey, let me know how it all turns out."
I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to sound so happy about it."
"I don't have to, yet here I am, sounding all happy about it. Good luck, Rosalee." Her laughter sounded as the call ended.
My smile faded as I changed into something cozier, and then I sat for five minutes and thought about what to do next.
The answer came immediately, and once I knew what I wanted to say, I ventured out of my room and found Xavier in the living room wearing nothing but a pair of loose-fitting pants and wool socks, nursing a beer. "Hey."
He looked up and his gaze raked over me, making my nipples harden to stiff peaks in my thin white T-shirt. I clenched my thighs together inside my flannel pants and waited for his gaze to reach my face. "What do you want?"
I will not let that attitude get to me right now, I reminded myself.
"I just wanted to apologize to you for what happened earlier outside the bathroom.
Not about snapping at you, because you totally deserved that, but for kissing you.
I've never, um, attacked a man like that before, and I truly am sorry.
It was completely unprofessional, and I understand if you need to replace me.
" I waited for Xavier to say something, hell, anything, but he just stared at me, or maybe he stared through me—I couldn't be sure.
When it became clear he wasn't going to respond, I turned and went into the kitchen.
I might not have a job tomorrow, so I sat at the kitchen table and ate my weight in soup and biscuits.