Chapter 18
Rosalee
The next couple of weeks passed in a blur of activity that included a doctor's appointment for Violet, a shopping trip, also for Violet, and watching as the little girl became more aware of her surroundings.
She now responded to Xavier's voice as well as my own, and she was becoming more mobile, which meant she required more attention.
And when Violet was in bed, I spent long, endlessly satisfying nights with her father.
I explored my pleasure as well as his own, learning what pleased him and what pleased me, pushing those limits night after night.
The time I spent with him was more intoxicating than any elixir, and I knew I was flirting with danger, playing with fire, and all those other sayings that meant I was living on a precarious edge where it was more likely than not that I would end up hurt. Possibly unemployed.
I couldn't help myself, though. For once in my life, I was being selfish, thinking only about what I wanted for myself and not how it would benefit someone else or the world at large.
Xavier was just for me, and I relished our nights together when his gray eyes would stare down at me like I was something more than a nanny, like I was someone important to him.
I knew the truth, of course, that he didn't want me for anything more than my body and his convenient access to it, but in the moment, it felt like more than that.
Whenever my mind began to conjure up thoughts of happily ever after, I shoved those thoughts deep down so that only lust and desire remained.
And if I pictured his image and mine in the place of the hero and heroine of my latest romance, well, that was just in my head and my heart, and it wasn't hurting anyone.
I was new to regular sex, never mind casual sex, so I knew it would take some time to wrap my head around the idea of sharing my body with someone while keeping my heart closely guarded.
It was difficult because when he wasn't being gruff, Xavier was a great guy.
He could be funny and sweet, thoughtful and kind.
I was in more trouble than I realized, but I couldn't give up this one thing that I was doing just for me.
At some point—hopefully far, far in the future—I would have to consider what I was doing and whether or not it was good for me. But for now? I soaked in his attention and his carnal treats.
"What smells so good?" Xavier's words snapped me from my thoughts, his voice, nearness, and thoroughly masculine scent wrapping around me as tightly as his arms.
I sighed and sagged against his chest with a whimper. He felt so good, and his generous affection was addictive. "Pasta with red sauce and cheese."
He moaned against my neck. "Sounds good. Time for a shower?"
I turned in his arms, heat in my gaze as it locked with his. "A solo shower, definitely. Anything else, no."
He let out a sigh of disappointment that made me smile. "Too bad. I'll be quick." Xavier cupped the back of my head and kissed me deeply, thrusting his tongue into my mouth while his other hand pulled me close enough to feel the effect I had on him.
My arms flew around his neck and I glued my chest to his, the sound of his heartbeat pounding against his chest in time with my own. He felt good, so good, everywhere, and I wanted him more and more with every swipe of his tongue, every caress. Every orgasm.
My phone rang on the kitchen table, and I reluctantly pulled back with a groan. "Stupid technology," I grumbled.
Xavier laughed. "Probably for the best. Too many hot things boiling in here for me to have my way with you properly.
" He brushed another kiss against my lips.
"I'll shower and you finish dinner. I already know what I'm having for dessert.
" The heat in his gaze caused an instant pooling of desire in my panties.
"I guess I'll have the chocolate mousse all to myself."
He laughed. "My dessert is better, I'm sure of it," he called over his shoulder.
I was still smiling as I reached for my phone and returned to the stove to make sure the vegetables didn't stick to the pan. "Hello?"
"Rosie, baby."
I groaned and pulled the phone away to stare at the screen. It was another unknown number Jason used to call. "I told you to stop calling me, Jason. I have nothing to say to you."
"I need your help, Rosie. You can't leave me hanging."
I laughed, and the sound was bitter. "You mean the way you left me hanging all the time to hang out with your boys, because of some alleged work meeting, or simply because you needed some time to yourself?" I stopped myself because I was getting off track. "Leave me alone, Jason."
He groaned his frustration. "Just meet me anywhere you want so we can talk about things."
"There's nothing to talk about." It shamed me to admit that there had been a time when a talk might have fixed things, but that was a long time ago. "Goodbye, Jason."
"You'll regret this, Rosie. I promise you that."
A chill settled over me at his words, but I recovered quickly, finding my own strength. "So will you, if you don't leave me alone. Stalking and harassing are crimes, and I don't think you'll fare well in prison." I ended the call with a smile, ignoring the way my hands trembled.
His threat sounded cold, which wasn't like him at all. Jason was the charmer, always smiling and laughing, which had made it hard for anyone to believe my version of our relationship. But if he was issuing threats, he was in real trouble.
Not my problem.
I listened for Xavier, and the shower was still on, so I called Toni because she seemed like a woman who didn't let anyone walk all over her.
"Oh, good. Are you calling to give me all the dirty details? Because I could use the distraction."
"Not all the details, but," I sighed, "things are good. Really good. But casual."
She groaned. "Please tell me that's not the tea you called to spill."
I laughed. "It's not. I actually need some advice."
"Always take him a little deeper than you think you can; it drives them crazy."
I felt my face heat up even though Toni couldn't see me. "Okay, thanks. But that's not it either."
"Okay, fine. I'm all ears. Talk."
I told her about Jason and his sudden reappearance in my life and the persistent calls even after I blocked him. And I ended with the threat. "You'll regret this, I promise you that. It's definitely a threat, right? I'm not being crazy."
"Definitely a threat," Toni confirmed. "Does he know where you are right now?"
"Texas, yes, but otherwise no. At least I don't think he does, but I can't risk that, Toni, not when I have to look after Violet." My hands shook at the thought of anything happening to that little girl, and in that moment, I hated Jason more than I'd ever hated another human being.
"All you can do is be diligent when you're out of the house. Maybe pick up some pepper spray. Or a firearm. This is Texas, after all."
I shuddered at the thought of owning a gun. "I'm too jumpy for that."
"You could always tell your bedmate—I mean, your boss—what's going on. Maybe he can help."
I shook my head, outright rejecting that idea. "I can't tell him." Xavier would likely overreact and kick me to the curb for putting him and his daughter in harm's way.
"You'll have to eventually, trust me. It won't turn out well if he finds out any other way."
"I hate that you're right." I didn't want to tell Xavier about Jason, not any more than I already had. "I like that he doesn't look at me like I'm broken."
"You're not broken, Rosalee; you just made a few romantic mistakes along the way. We all have."
When Toni said that, it all sounded reasonable, but I knew better. "Some worse than others. Anyway, how goes the pregnancy?"
"Not yet over," she grumbled. "I'm swollen, I have to pee all the time, and I am nonstop horny. So it's the best and worst of everything."
I laughed. "I would offer to help, but I'm too far away to be of any real assistance."
"Eh, it's the thought that counts, so thank you. But this damn bladder is full again, so I'll talk to you again soon."
"Yeah, okay." I turned and gasped at the sight of Xavier standing in the kitchen doorway with an unreadable expression on his face. "Talk to you soon, Toni."
"Who is Toni?"
"She's a nanny from ENS, and I was just calling for some advice. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm fine."
I didn't quite believe him, but sleeping with the man didn't change his mercurial ways, so I shrugged it off with a smile. "Hungry?"
"Starved." That one word held layers of meaning that made my heart slam against my chest and my sex pulse.
"Well, I think I have something to cure that."