Chapter 32
Rosalee
"I could go, but I won't. Not yet. I spent the past hour searching for you." Xavier's gray eyes seared through my body, and with him so close, his heat caused beads of sweat to form along my hairline.
His proximity was having a familiar effect on me, but I was determined to be strong.
He couldn't just stroll in here looking good enough to eat and utter a few words to get me to come back.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "It must be the day for the ghosts of boyfriends past." That comment was uncharacteristically bitchy of me, but Xavier only tensed. "Not that you were ever my boyfriend."
Xavier winced as if I'd smacked him. "I deserve that, Rosalee. I know it. I haven't been my best since you came into my life." He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.
I leaned away from him. "And that's my fault?"
"No," he groaned. "You, with your sweetness and your sunshine, your bright light, just knocked me off kilter, and I've been trying to right myself ever since."
I sucked in a breath at his words. Snap out of it, I told myself and shook my head. "Don't try to sweet-talk me, Xavier. You hurt me, and you can't just erase that."
"I know," he growled and stood up, putting distance between us.
My heart clenched that he was ready to give up so easily, to just walk away when he had been looking for me.
But he took the seat Jason had vacated, and his molten gaze slammed into mine. "I'm so damn sorry, Rosalee. Truly." He shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I played right into his hands, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did. And you did it with ease."
Xavier's broad shoulders fell forward. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but you're right." A heavy sigh rushed out of him. "This isn't an excuse, but Judy, Violet's mother, stopped by while you were out."
I gasped. "She wants Violet?"
He smirked. "Even if she did, that ship has sailed. Worse, she wanted money to help cover the lie she told her husband-to-be. I was pissed off and boiling with rage when I saw those photos, and then you came home and I felt like a fool. I took out my anger at Judy on you, and that was a dick move."
His honest assessment surprised me. "It was," I agreed, my heart racing. "Why didn't you just tell me that?"
"I don't know. I fell back on the old insecurity of people only wanting me for what I have."
"Ugh, you make me so mad!" My shouted words caused a few diners to stop eating and throw confused and slightly irritated looks at us. "I haven't asked you for one damn thing other than the truth, other than for you to try. Nothing tangible, nothing with any cash value."
"I know," he answered in a low whisper.
"You are so much more than your stupid money, which I didn't know about," I snarled through clenched jaws. "Because that was another secret you kept from me!"
"I was a coward, okay? I was a fucking coward, and I didn't want you to look at me differently once you knew."
"That sucks, Xavier. It really fucking sucks."
To his credit, he didn't make excuses for it. He owned it, and I respected that. "What can I say, Rosalee? I'm not perfect."
His words teased a laugh out of me. "No kidding." I wanted this man. I loved him, but I didn't see a future for us. "Xavier, what are you doing here? Did you just want to apologize?"
"Not just that, no." He sighed. "What I want, Rosalee, is you."
"Hey, are you folks ready to order?"
I bit back the go the hell away that was on the tip of my tongue and shook my head. "Two coffees, please."
"And two breakfast specials," Xavier added.
"Okay," the server began. "Would y'all like a—"
"I don't care," he growled. "Two specials with one of everything. Take your time."
The server nodded sharply and turned away.
"That was rude," I laughed.
"I want you, Rosalee. Just you." He sighed and reached across the table for my hands. "I'm in love with you, and I didn't realize it until I woke up to apologize and found you gone."
I tried to pull my hands from his, but he didn't let me. "Maybe you just wanted it to end on your terms?"
"No. I had already planned to apologize; I just needed to find the right words after such a monumental fuckup." He squeezed my hands, brushing a soft kiss on each one. "I love you and I'm all in on you and me, Rosalee. You are the woman I want, the one I need in my life."
"Until you get scared again?"
He shook his head as a gorgeous smile spread across his face.
It was so big and so bright, and my heart raced at the potential of his words.
"I'm not scared, not anymore. Now that I know what was going on, that I was falling in love with you, it all makes sense.
I know what I feel for you, and I'm fine with it; hell, I am more than fine with it.
It's absolutely fucking perfect. The question is, do you think you can love me? "
This was it, the moment of truth. Would I hide away underneath the hurt of his fiery words, or would I be brave and forge ahead, knowing that I was risking heartache again?
Xavier stared back at me, his eyes patient, but every other part of him was tense with anticipation, as if he thought there was no planet on which I could say no to him.
"I love you too, Xavier. That hasn't changed since yesterday."
"But?" He flashed a sweet smile. "You have conditions."
I shook my head, unable to stop the smile that slowly spread across my face as hope took hold of me. "Not conditions. Expectations. I expect you to talk to me, to tell me what's on your mind when you're upset or worried. To come to me first because I will always be honest with you, Xavier. Always."
A relieved breath rushed out of him. "So you love me and you'll come back to me?"
I started to nod, but he gripped my hand tighter.
"You don't have to be Violet's nanny if you don't want to be. We can keep Cathy on so you can do whatever you want."
"I don't want that. I want to be there with you and with Violet. I want to be there for her first words like I was for her first steps, and I want to see her grow up. With you at my side."
In less than a second, Xavier was at my side, his big hands cupping my face as our lips met and tangled. I gripped his biceps while he devoured my mouth, a low moan escaping from one of us as he deepened the kiss.
"Here's your breakfast... oh."
With a laugh and a lot of willpower, I pulled back from the kiss and smiled at the server. "Can you pack it up to go?"
"We'll leave a big tip," Xavier assured her, his eyes hooded and his voice sexy and growly.
"No problem!"
The minute she was gone, he turned to me. "Let's go home?"
"Yes," I sighed. "Let's." My heart was so full it ached, and I couldn't stop smiling as he took my hand and pulled me from the booth before kissing me again.
And again.
Xavier paid the bill and left a hefty tip before he dragged me to his truck. "I have my car."
He shook his head. "We'll come back for it later. I need you at my side right now."
His words were low and possessive and hit me in all the right spots. "Okay."
He flashed a satisfied smile and opened the door for me first. When Xavier slid behind the steering wheel, he grabbed my hand and held it until we were home.
Home. It had a very nice ring to it.