30. Dante
Chapter 30
Dante
“ Y ou can’t avoid me forever Lucy.”
A midnight trip to the kitchen for a bottle of water brought me face to face with the woman who’d gone out of her way to avoid me. My parents had been in town for the past four days and Lucy had used their presence to keep a wide gulf between us.
Lucy turned with an arched brow and stared at me, an amused smile curled up her one side of her mouth. She folded her arms, the cotton tank top did fuck all to cover her the way her tits nearly spilled over the top.
“Good because I’m not avoiding you.”
“Really? Because it sure feels like you’re going out of your way to avoid me.” She made sure we were never alone, and if we came close to being alone, Lucy found a reason to get gone.
She shrugged like it was no big deal. “Believe what you want, but I’m not avoiding you. I have no reason to avoid you since we have no reason to talk.” She licked her lips and let out a long, slow exhale. “Is there something I need to know regarding my care of Lena?”
I wanted to growl my frustration loud enough to wake the far-flung neighbors, but there was no point, because Lucy had decided we had no reason to interact if it wasn’t about my daughter. She wasn’t wrong. Weeks ago, that exact sentiment would have been music to my ears. Today it just pissed me off.
“You know there isn’t,” I growled. “You’re doing a fantastic job with her.”
Her blond brows dipped in confusion. “Then what is the problem?” She was clearly oblivious to the way her gorgeous breasts spilled over and made my mouth water.
I took a few steps closer. “You know damn well what the problem is!” The truth was I didn’t even know what the hell the problem was. I had been less than definitive with what I wanted where Lucy was concerned, and unlike most women who were content to go along to get along, she’d called me out and refused to budge an inch.
“No, I don’t.” She sighed and shook her head. “What does it matter, and more to the point, why do you even care? I am doing exactly what you—and men like you—want me to do. I’m pretending it didn’t happen to make both our lives easier.”
“I know! You’re right, it is exactly what I thought I wanted, but it turns out I have no fucking clue what I want.”
Something that resembled hurt flashed in her eyes before she recovered. “Well we both know that what you want isn’t me, so maybe you should do as your mother suggested and go find someone suitable for your lifestyle. Someone you know isn’t using you for your money, or your…whatever.”
Her fiery words should have worried me, but I just smiled. “My whatever?”
Lucy shrugged. “Yeah. I’m sure there’re wannabe models or fashion designers out in the world happy to share your bed in hopes of becoming the next big thing in fashion. A few nights in your bed can catapult them to superstardom. Go find them.” She waved her hands in a shooing motion that would have made me mad if anyone else had done it.
From Lucy it was just charming. I took a few steps forward, closing the gap between us until I was close enough to see the varied shades of blue that darkened her gaze. “I don’t want them Lucy. It turns out that I only want you.”
She placed both her palms on my chest and shoved until I fell back a few steps. “That is a damned lie Dante and you know it!”
The pain that stabbed my heart at her words was palpable. She didn’t believe me, and once again it was my own fault. “I don’t say things I don’t mean Lucy, not even to preserve anyone’s feelings.”
She rolled her blue eyes skyward. “Whatever.” She tried to brush past me but I grabbed her shoulders.
“Lucy,” I growled and spun her around until we were chest to chest. My mouth crashed down on hers and I savored the taste of her, minty with just a hint of red wine. She tasted heavenly, and I slowed the kiss as my hands wandered down her back and gripped her round ass. Her curves filled my hands and I slowed my moves even more, determined to savor the taste of her before she came to her senses.
She moaned into my mouth and pushed in closer, leaning her head back while our tongues tangled together. In and out, my tongue penetrated her mouth the same way I wanted to lay her out on the counter and drive into her lush pussy.
Kissing Lucy in the kitchen was the best I’d felt all week, and that thought scared me. This should be about satisfying my desire for her, nothing else, and the idea that kissing her made me feel better was too much to bear. It scared the hell out of me to think of Lucy as something more than satisfying a physical need, but I couldn’t have pulled away from her under the threat of death.
Too soon though, Lucy pulled back with swollen lips and a glazed look in her blue eyes. There was defeat and sadness in her tone when she spoke to me. “Dante you can’t keep doing this.”
“I know.” I agreed with her that I couldn’t keep doing this, couldn’t go on like this. It wasn’t as if I wanted this, but that didn’t matter. “I know Lucy, but I can’t stay away.”
“This isn’t fair. You don’t want me, not for who I am, but because I’m convenient. I’m here, footsteps down the hall from you, which makes me the perfect woman for you. Right. Now.” She shook her head and let out a sigh that held the weight of the world. “I don’t have casual sex, Dante. Not really, and I’m honestly not built for it. If you, no, if we keep this up I’m the one who is going to get hurt. So please, please stop this.” She motioned between us as tears swam in her eyes.
I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. I wanted to promise that I wouldn’t hurt her, but I couldn’t be sure that wouldn’t happen. I was rusty at dating and romance, and my marriage was proof that I wasn’t cut out for the long term either. So, when Lucy shoved my chest I reluctantly stepped aside and let her go.
For now.
I watched her walk away, and thankfully this time she didn’t rush away from me, she just walked slowly and deliberately as if she might break down before she made it to her room. My heart was in my chest as she put more and more distance between us until I turned away and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
She was right, it wasn’t fair, not to either of us. But that didn’t change how I felt, or how badly I wanted her.
A familiar slow shuffle sounded behind me and I knew without even looking that it was my dad. “What’s all the commotion down here?”
I sighed. “Got into an argument with Lucy, that’s all.”
My dad’s hand landed on my shoulder. “Are you in the habit of fighting with your nanny? I mean what in the hell would you even have to fight about? She’s very competent, better than anyone you’ve ever hired before.”
“Things,” I answered with a half-laugh. “I can’t seem to get a damn thing right when it comes to her.”
“Your mother was right. There is something going on between you two. She spotted it damn near right away.” He sighed. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I wish I knew.” That was lie. I knew. “Something happened and I didn’t react well, or I don’t know, the way she expected me to act.”
“Why? Are you scared, or did you get what you wanted from her and you’re trying to find your way out?”
“Wow, Dad. Don’t pull any punches.” He was a straight shooter ,and I braced myself for his next words of wisdom.
“I won’t,” he sighed again. “You know that. But whether I’m hard on you or not, your feelings for Lucy aren’t going anywhere. You have to face them or risk losing her forever.”
“I know. But there are reasons, good reasons, that we shouldn’t be together. For starters, she works for me.”
“And? You work so much Dante, where else are you going to meet a nice woman?”
“You have all the answers, don’t you Dad?”
“No. Not all of them, but I think you should talk to Lucy and tell her how you feel. Women like to hear the words, they need to hear them. Men, well let’s just say we have a tendency to send mixed signals.”
Like making Lucy believe I didn’t want her but still fucking her every chance I got. “Dammit.” Dad was right, I needed to fix things with Lucy, and that meant being honest. “Thanks Dad. For everything.”
“Anytime, son.” Dad clapped me on the back and walked out of the kitchen with a soft laugh. “Good luck, Dante.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I laughed myself, because I had a feeling I would need more than luck to smooth things over with the feisty nanny.