Chapter 19 Serenity
Serenity
Iwoke up from a dead sleep. Wide awake in an instant.
No dream. No sound. Just the sudden, absolute certainty that something was wrong.
I sat up in the dark, heart racing, as I tried to orient myself.
For a split second, I didn’t know where I was.
The room was unfamiliar and the air different, thicker and still.
There was an uneasiness all around me, or maybe the dark made it feel that way.
Then I felt it: warmth pressed against my side and the familiar scent of Enzo as it slowly wrapped around me and invaded my senses. His hand reached out, automatically going to my thigh. “Everything okay?” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep but threaded with concern.
I nodded, even though he could see me in the dark, my heart still thudding, not yet caught up to the fact that the danger wasn’t real—or if it was, it wasn’t nearby. Yet. Whatever had pulled me from sleep was already gone, leaving only a lingering unease behind.
I listened. The house was silent, almost too silent. I didn’t hear footsteps or voices. No distant hum of machinery. Just the faint rustle of trees outside, the sounds of nocturnal creatures, and Enzo’s steady breathing beside me.
You’re wound tight, I told myself. That’s all. I was wound tight, but the unease that stayed after Luca’s visit was also the culprit.
“Ren?” Enzo shifted on the bed and pulled me to face him.
“I’m fine,” I finally told him. “How did we end up in your bed?” I asked because it was better to focus on that than whatever I’d been feeling that had pulled me from my sleep.
Enzo was silent for a moment as if he was debating how much to tell me before he sighed, sliding one hand from my shoulder down to my hand. “We fell asleep on the sofa. When I carried you upstairs, I wanted you in my bed with me.” His thumb traced a slow arc along my hip. “Is that okay?”
It shouldn’t have been. I should have said no.
I should have told him that bringing me here was a mistake.
I should have insisted on boundaries and a lot of other things that could prevent heartache, but I never said any of that.
“Yes, Enzo. It’s okay.” That was it, my big protective gesture.
In for a penny, I thought as I slid back until our bodies were pressed together, back to front.
“Careful,” he growled, a warning as my ass found him—long and thick and impossibly hard.
“Sorry,” I whispered, a thrill racing through me at his reaction.
“Don’t be.” He shifted, pulling me closer until there was no space between us and no mistaking just how hard he was. How much I still affected him. “I like having you close like this.”
I liked being close to him like this, and my mind and body relaxed almost instantly. Which was a really bad move because it allowed my mind to go to places it shouldn’t. “Do you think we’re safe here, Enzo?”
He didn’t answer right away, which was something I’d always appreciated about him.
He never said what I wanted to hear—even when I really wished he would—but he always gave careful consideration before he answered a question.
“As safe as we can be,” he said finally.
“But I do fear our enemy is closing in. We’ll need to be more careful, diligent about new faces. Maybe develop some new routines.”
My heart kicked hard, running a race that never ended inside my chest. Needing comfort, I turned to face him so we were eye to eye, his green gaze unreadable in the dark. “This is scary.”
“I know.” He brushed my hair back, his touch gentle, almost loving. “I’m sorry you’re in this, but you were the only person I could trust with Matteo.”
I sucked in a sharp breath at the sincerity in his words.
“I’m glad you trust me.” The words slipped out barely above a whisper, meaning more to me than they should.
The scarier part was that I meant them. I didn’t regret being here, not even now with danger around every corner.
That realization should have frightened me more than it did.
Enzo’s life was dangerous. Everything about it was volatile and unpredictable, things I worked to keep out of my life.
And yet all I felt in that moment was home. No matter what happened next, I was glad to have this time with Enzo. And Mattie.
“Of course,” he murmured, cupping my face and kissing me. The kiss was hungry and possessive, familiar in a way that reached straight through me and claimed my heart and soul, two things I’d pretended were no longer his.
My body responded instinctively. Years without him dissolved in seconds, and it was like we’d been doing this all our lives. His hands moved everywhere, and my breath hitched. I pressed closer, my need surging to the surface as my fingers curled into him.
His hips flexed automatically when my hand curled around his cock, the feel of him—hot and long and hard—making my head spin. “Ren,” he groaned and pumped his hips again.
“I’m right here, Enzo.” I stroked him again and again, harder, until his jaw clenched hard enough to crack. “I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered and rose up on my knees, kissing his jaw and down his strong neck. I peppered kisses all down his chest, tugging my fingertips into his waistband.
“Ren,” he whispered again.
The weight of his cock in my hand, heavy and hot, calmed something in me while making me wild with need at the same time.
Without a word, he lifted his hips and I yanked his pajama pants down his hips, tossing them behind me with frenzied moves.
I gripped his cock again before sliding my tongue around the head.
“Shit,” he growled. “Ren, baby.”
I smiled before wrapping my lips around him, taking him deeper and deeper into my throat.
“Fuck!”
I smiled again and closed my eyes, losing myself in his musky scent, in the soft grunts and growls he made as I sucked and licked him until his hands tangled in my hair and his hips pumped his cock deeper into my mouth. I moaned and swallowed around his head.
“Ren, don’t tease me.”
I chuckled and changed my pace, taking him in long, achingly slow strokes guaranteed to drive us both crazy. Every time I took him in my mouth, moisture flooded between my thighs and I took him deeper and faster, losing myself in the movements and his sounds.
“Ren,” he growled, gripping my hair tighter and pulling me away from him.
“Yes,” I said, lips curling in a slow smile. My heart slammed against my chest, and in that moment, it felt like no time at all had passed since we were last like this together. It all felt so normal. So natural.
“Come here.” He crooked a finger that tugged me with it until we were face to face.
“I’m right here.” My breath hitched at the heat in his eyes.
He moved quickly, flipping our positions so he was on top of me, his hips pushed against mine, his cock resting right between my legs.
“Yeah, fuck. That’s better.” The words were so filled with pleasure that another shot of lust speared through my body.
“You smell so damn good,” he groaned, nipping my earlobe.
“You feel good,” I told him, letting my hands roam all over his body. Despite the years and the hint of silver in his hair, Enzo was well-built. He was hard everywhere and gorgeous. “So fucking good.”
He reared back, fisting his cock in one hand and using it to tease me. He smacked my clit with the weight of his cock, and every slap was like a bolt of electricity that shot straight through me. He pushed his hips forward, teasing me with nothing but the head of his cock.
“Enzo, please,” I begged, crazed with desire.
“Please what, Ren? Tell me what you want.” His gaze was so intense the words stuck in my throat and my heart pounded like someone was chasing me. “I’m waiting.”
“I want you, Enzo.” He was all I ever wanted in my life. And right now, for tonight, he was mine.
“You got me. Now tell me what you want,” he demanded, still shallow-fucking me and driving me crazy. “Do you want me to eat your sweet cunt until you come? Do you want me to finger-fuck you like we’re back in that old movie theater?”
My back arched at the memory.
“Or do you want me to fuck you?”
“Yes,” I moaned. “All of that, but right now I need you to fuck me, Enzo. Make me come.”
His lips curled into a grin that didn’t match the intensity in his eyes.
His green eyes focused on me while he slid in and out of me in long, deliciously slow strokes.
“I’ve dreamed of this many times over the years,” he grunted.
“Burying myself in you like this, feeling your pussy grip me like a jealous lover.”
My body was on fire, and I arched into his strokes.
“I’ve missed how wet you get.” He pulled out and slid deep over and over just to make his point. “So fucking wet, and it’s all for me.”
He wasn’t wrong. No man had ever gotten me as wet as Enzo. Hell, no man had ever made me feel the way he did, with or without an orgasm. “Just for you,” I panted. “Enzo, please.”
He grinned again but didn’t increase his speed or intensity; he maintained those long, slow strokes that pushed me closer and closer to the edge, but at his pace. “You feel too good to rush this, Ren. I need to savor this pussy.”
Every syllable that fell from his lips nudged me closer to the precipice. Every slide of his cock pushed me higher and higher and exposed every nerve ending until my hands gripped his shoulders and my nails dug into the flesh at his back. “Enzo,” I cried out.
He smiled, still holding my gaze as he pumped slowly, the intensity finally growing but too slowly. “You feel that? You’re so tight around me, pulsing like you’re ready to come. Do you want to come, Ren?”
I nodded. “You know I do.”
He gripped the back of my thighs, pushing them forward as he increased his speed, pumping harder and deeper. “Then come,” he growled. “Squeeze my cock and coat him in your orgasm. Now, Ren.”
It shouldn’t have been so easy, but Enzo knew me better than anyone, and that hadn’t changed. He changed his strokes and hit my clit every time he sank deep, and my body exploded in a fiery display of lights and colors as I tensed and then shook wildly even as Enzo pumped into me.
It was wild and it was crazy, and I’d never felt as good as I felt in that moment. “Enzo, yes!”
He gripped my thighs harder, and I knew I’d have bruises tomorrow, but that was a worry for another day.
Right now, I couldn’t look away from the muscles in his neck and shoulders as he pounded harder into me, deeper into my soul.
And then that low, telltale growl left his lips with my name on them as he froze and hot jets of his orgasm filled me up.
“Ren, oh fuck! Ren!” He continued stroking into me until he collapsed on top of me with an easy smile. “Fuck, that was our best one yet.”
I smiled at him, watching the carefree expression on his face as he kissed all around my nipples.
“I think so.” I didn’t think so; I knew it.
The same way I knew that this goofy smile, this euphoria, felt too good to last. This thing between us could only lead to heartache.
Again. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop.
I’d always been powerless when it came to resisting Enzo, and I knew now that I always would be. I hadn’t gotten over him; it was just distance that had given me the illusion of healing.
Now that he was back in my life. In my body.
I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.