Chapter 39 Seafood and garlic butter #2
He slides his hands down to take mine, steadying them between us. “And if you ever need to talk about him—really talk about what happened—I want you to know I’m here.”
Lucas holds my gaze.
I glance up at him, startled by the depth in his voice.
“From what you’ve told me about how Sean treated you… it sounds like it was a form of abuse. A kind that’s not always easy for the victim to recognize. It’s important to talk to someone. Well, that’s what my mum says. She even convinced me to see someone after Dad died.
So you can talk to me if you’d like, or I can give you the number for the therapist my mum made me see. Just don’t turn away help, especially if you need it.”
I didn’t really think about the way Sean treated me as abuse before.
But I remember the fear I felt when he’d punch a wall near me, afraid that one day it might be my face instead.
The way he used to yell, to belittle me.
I still flinch sometimes, scared I’ll say the wrong thing and trigger the people around me.
“Yeah… maybe that would be a good idea, Lucas. Talking might help. Maybe not right now, but… I think I’d like your therapist’s details. I might need some help working through it all.” I need to talk to someone. I know I can trust Lucas, but I don’t want to dump everything on him.
It’s something I need to work through on my own. What I do need to do though, is to talk to my dad.
When Lucas starts driving us home, I pull my phone out of my handbag and send him a quick message.
We’ve been texting more lately since I’ve been purposely making myself busy whenever he calls.
I haven’t told him everything that’s been going on.
My dad is fiercely protective. If I told him I needed him, he’d be on the next flight back, no questions asked. It’s time he knew.
Me: Hey Dad, can I call you soon? X
He replies instantly.
Dad: Of course, whenever Bug xo
My relationship with my dad used to be… complicated. I feel like I barely knew him as a kid.
My mum didn’t tell him about me straight away. They were just friends when she got pregnant. She had me at seventeen, and he had just joined the army as an apprentice electrician.
She didn’t want to burden him with a baby when he was about to chase his dreams.
By the time she told him I existed, he was already gone and so were his parents.
He came back as often as he could, but not enough for me to really know him.
He wasn’t ready to be a dad—too young, too busy.
Then Mum died.
Everything changed.
He took time away from his work and stepped into the role of a single parent overnight. He went through my awful teenage years and never gave up on me.
We grew really close.
Once I was older, he re-enlisted and went back.
He’s due to come home again soon.
I miss him more than I realised.
When we pull up outside the house, I turn to Lucas. “I’m going to my room to call my dad.”
He nods, and I head inside.
The phone rings only once before he picks up.
“Hey Bug! How ya going?” His deep voice wraps around me like a blanket, soothing and familiar.
“Dad! I miss you.” My voice breaks a little. “I’m okay… I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Bug, I miss you too. You only okay?” he asks, like he already knows there’s more.
“I’m good, really. Things are getting better. But… they weren’t okay. Not for a while.” I hesitate. “I left Sean.”
“Shit Bug. I never liked that kid,” he says, firm but calm. “What happened?”
“He wasn’t good to me, Dad. I tried to deny it, to everyone and even to myself. But I couldn’t anymore. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry while you were over there. But I handled it. I left.”
“Good.” There’s pride in his voice. “I’m proud of you, Bug. I’m sad you didn’t tell me sooner, but I understand. If I ever see him around, I’ll be havin’ words with him. Where are you living now?”
“I’m staying with some friends—Lucas and Tyler. They’ve been really great. I was supposed to move in with Danielle, but now she’s leaving too… I’m not sure what to do. It was only supposed to be temporary, staying here.”
“What if you lived with me?” he offers. “I’m supposed to be finishing up here soon. How about I buy a place in Coevey Bay, you can stay with me for a while? I’ll get a normal job like I did last time?” I blink, stunned. I hadn’t even considered that as an option.
“Are you sure? You want to come back?”
“Bug, it’d be perfect. You don’t have to live with me forever, but I’d love to be there while you get back on your feet. I’ll start looking for a place. You still got Gizmo?” I glance down at the little fluffball curled up in my lap.
“Yeah, she’s here. It’ll need to be cat-friendly.”
“Got it. I’ll find something. And Bug?” He pauses, voice soft. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me, okay? You’re so much like your mum… you hold everything inside. But you gotta let people in. You’ve got a beautiful heart, my girl. You need to let people see it. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad. Thank you.”
“Anytime. Bye, Bug.”
“Bye.”
I head back out to the living room and sit down next to Lucas on the sofa.
“My dad’s coming back to Australia. He’s coming here.” I tell him while looking at my hands.
He puts my hands into his. “That’s good. I know you must miss him.”
“I do, I really do. He’s offered for me to live with him when he comes back too.” I look up at Lucas.
He takes a breath before he says, “If that’s what you want to do, then that’s really great.” I can tell he means it.
“To be honest.” I take a pause. “I don’t know what I want.” I lean my head against his shoulder.
“Well, I’ll be here while you figure it out. There’s no rush to figure it all out right now Camille.”
We have a beat of silence, just me leaning on him, breathing one another in before we get up.