Chapter Eleven
Hayley
H ayley watched Oliver as he picked at his breakfast. Interviews were hideous. Everyone knew that. No doubt ones for the kind of job he was going for were particularly stressful. That’s what happened when you were a highflyer like him. She’d been lucky to get a salon assistant job at Cutting Edge when she was still at college, and she’d been there ever since. Far from feeling stagnant though, it felt like home, and she had no desire to be anywhere else.
‘Just think, come lunchtime, it’ll be done.’ She caught Oliver’s eye.
‘I know. It’s always the build up that’s worse.’ He took a sip of his coffee.
If only she could do something proactive to help, but what? Another hug? How surprising had last night been? He agreed to a hug! And what a hug. She’d had to remind herself to keep things platonic, because being pressed up against Oliver like that was very hot. Everything about him set her insides on fire. That white shirt, for example, with the top buttons just undone enough to hint at a smattering of dark chest hair. Sleeping so close to him didn’t help matters, but it really wasn’t close enough, not to satisfy all the urges inside her.
‘When will you find out if you’ve got the job or not?’ She touched the corner of her lip, checking for toast crumbs.
‘There are two other interviews and I think one of them is either tomorrow or Friday. I guess that means I won’t find out until after that.’
‘That’s a long wait.’
‘Yeah, it’s not ideal.’
Hayley pulled out her phone and rechecked the route to ExCeL London. It was a thirty-minute tube ride, then a further ten-minute walk to get there, but she was confident she could do it without any mishaps.
‘I have to leave quite soon,’ she said.
‘Of course. I hope you have a good day and I’m sorry if I’ve put a downer on your trip by telling you about the interview.’
‘You haven’t. It’s better knowing than worrying about why you’re so quiet and off your food.’
His lip quirked a little and Hayley watched him. Would he smile? Did he ever?
‘Does your conference start after the interview?’
‘No, it’s not until tomorrow. I’m not doing anything after the interview.’
‘Well, how about I let you know when I’m done at the show for the day, and we can meet for food again?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ he said, and there was something genuine in his expression. Hayley got up from the table and gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder as she passed him.
‘You’re gonna ace it.’ For a second, she considered giving him a kiss on the cheek, but better not. ‘Best of luck and I’ll see you later.’
‘Thanks, and yes, see you.’
She glanced back as she left the breakfast room. He was still watching her. What had happened to him? Where was grumpy Oliver? He was actually ok. Still sullen and unsmiley but he wasn’t as awful as she’d always thought. Shame she had to discover that just as he was thinking about moving to London. So brave of him. She’d never want to make a move like this. A momentary image burst into her mind, so quick she almost missed it, a teasing little picture of her and Oliver both living and working here… together. A laugh almost escaped her out loud as she crossed the foyer. That wouldn’t be happening. She knew from Finlay that Oliver didn’t do long-term relationships even if she’d wanted one with him… which she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. Where were these daft thoughts coming from?
A crisp autumn morning greeted her outside and leaves swirled around the pavements, rustling up the side of giant wheelie bins and around lampposts as Hayley strode towards the main road. Under her cosy black coat, she wore a short brick-orange skirt, knee-length boots and a cashmere cream polo neck. Her hair was styled in a cascading high ponytail with a slight sixties vibe. She’d wrapped a side section of hair around the base and added a small bouffant just for fun. A few strands fell around her face, and she shook them away with a little flick. Hopefully this look gave the right mix of casual and stylish. This hairdo would be in front of so many hairdressers today. She really hoped she’d got it right.
Travelling around London on her own made her slip into thoughts about what living here must be like. She had to remind herself that even if she moved here, she was unlikely to have a house in Mayfair and she’d probably have a long commute every day and a small apartment – even smaller than the tiny flat she already owned in Glenbriar.
Her mind returned to Oliver. Where would he live if he moved here? Would he have a spare room? Quite a fun thought… She could visit him and go to the theatre and the shops. If he didn’t mind. She let out a sigh. Poor guy. He’d had a horrible time growing up. She remembered her mum talking to Finlay about it when they were kids, telling him to be nice and always to make sure Oliver wasn’t on his own. Finlay had followed that directive, and probably would have been his friend anyway. But what a shame about the way Oliver’s dad treated him. Oliver may say it didn’t affect him now, but some hurts ran so deep they were ingrained in people. He was so obviously unhappy. He had been as long as Hayley had known him. Surely that harked back to him losing his mum. Had he lost the ability to be cheerful? To smile? To see love and light?
As she was jostled down the busy street, she rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time as someone cut across her. Nope. She wouldn’t want this every day. The hustle and bustle in London could be fun, but not on a daily basis. No wonder Oliver was conflicted. She’d be the same. If she was offered a stylist job in a London salon, it would be hard to turn down such a huge opportunity, but there was so much more to consider. A job was just a job and while she loved what she did, it wasn’t the be all and end all of her existence. What about Oliver? Was his career the most important thing in his life?
Iconic red buses rumbled by, and Hayley followed the directions on her phone to Bond Street tube station. She screwed up her nose at the grimy city aroma mixed with coffee and oily cooking smells from the many cafés.
When she reached the station, she hopped on the escalator, holding tightly to both the rail and her bag. Thankfully she didn’t have to drag her huge case around with her; the thought of Oliver pulling it along made her smile again. She made her way through the labyrinth of tunnels and platforms. A cold gust as a train left whipped past her and she shivered. Making a quick check of the sign, she chose a platform and joined the throng of commuters. People watching became her thing again as she waited until the busy train whooshed in. She hurried on with all the others, standing close to the door and clinging to a pole as they hurtled into darkness.
For the first part of the journey, everything was underground, and all the stations looked the same. This was the monotonous part, and the bit Hayley was sure she’d tire of if she had to do this every day.
When she’d been here with Amber last year, it had been much nicer than being on her own. They’d chatted and gossiped nonstop for days and still didn’t have enough time to tell each other everything.
Custom House Station was above ground and all glass fronts and shiny floors, not like the grubby stations in the heart of London. The way to ExCeL was a short walk through streets with warehouses and a backdrop of pylons. She didn’t need the map anymore; she remembered this bit and enough people were heading the same way to make it obvious. If in doubt, follow the group with the most interesting hairstyles.
As she got closer to ExCeL, she fired off a text to Oliver, wishing him luck for the interview. An inexplicable pang of sadness washed over her, making her fan her face. Get it together! What has got into me? Maybe coming here alone wasn’t what she really wanted. But it ran deeper than that, almost like she didn’t want him to get the job. Not because he didn’t deserve it, but because she didn’t want him so far away. Seriously? Why would it matter? Normally, she had nothing to do with him. But he’d been different over the last couple of days, almost vulnerable, and her heart hurt for him.
ExCeL was a massive, contemporary complex that stretched endlessly along the waterfront. Its reflective glass fa?ade sparkled in the morning sun, and hundreds of people gathered around it.
Hayley joined the stream of attendees and located her online ticket. The buzz of chat and laughter was infectious, and she struck up easy conversation with a group of three people in front of her. She discovered they were from a salon in Birmingham, and they chatted as the queue moved slowly, sharing salon stories and discussing the banners and billboards at the entrance, showcasing the event’s sponsors and featured artists.
‘I love their new collagen conditioner,’ one stylist said.
‘Me too,’ Hayley agreed. She took some photos on her phone of the fashion-forward and somewhat wild hairstyles on the posters. Ok, so they were sometimes controversial, but they were still amazing and only a few stylists ever got to do anything that exciting during their careers.
Eventually, she got to the registration desk and collected her badge and welcome pack. The hum of voices around her sounded happy and enthusiastic. She caught snippets of conversations about hair products and styling techniques. If only Amber was here too. There was so much to chat about. She fired off some messages, telling her how much she missed her.
Blinking and taking a deep breath, Hayley entered the main exhibition hall. Booths and displays from top hairstyling brands and salons from around the world lined the floor, each showcasing their products and services. Loudspeakers announced what was coming up and music blared from somewhere nearby. Where to even start? Hayley raised her phone to take a quick selfie as a message from Oliver pinged in.
OLIVER: I’m sure it’ll be fine. I hope you have a good day. And thank you for your understanding. You really are a very kind person.
She gave a little snort laugh at the message, then snapped the picture. High praise from him but at least he wasn’t annoyed with her, which was progress. She sent the selfie in reply and to prove she’d made it.
Moving through the stands, she stopped frequently to examine products and take notes or pictures. Although she was here for work, she couldn’t help checking out everything wedding related. Her phone was soon full of snaps of potential styles for Genevieve, and she’d collected several samples before stopping to watch a live demonstration of a new styling brush. The miked-up stylist talked and gesticulated as he worked. Bright lights illuminated the model, who had gone from a head of sleek straight hair to picture-perfect curls in seconds. It would be fun to have a go of that later if she got the chance.
The afternoon schedule looked just as entertaining with fashion shows and a live competition. Must call Oliver before it starts and check how his interview went.
Being surrounded by all this inspiration and creativity was overwhelming. Hayley took a moment to stand back and ordered herself a coffee. As she sipped her flat white, her thoughts drifted back to Oliver again. Why couldn’t her mind stay focused on where it should be and not go wandering off where it didn’t belong?
As soon as midday had passed, Hayley deliberated over calling Oliver. Should she do it straight away or give him time? Maybe he wasn’t finished yet, but the suspense was killing her.
When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she picked up the phone and called.
‘Hello,’ he said after a couple of rings.
‘Hey. How’d it go?’
‘I’m just out. It went ok as far as I know. I did my presentation to the best of my ability anyway, so at least I’ve given myself a shot.’
‘Great. Well done. You can relax a bit now.’
He let out an audible sigh. ‘Yes. I suppose so. What are you doing? It sounds noisy.’
Music blared over the loudspeaker and people were chattering everywhere. Hayley hadn’t really tuned into it until he mentioned it. ‘It is, isn’t it? I’m going to watch some shows this afternoon and there’s a competition.’
‘Sounds… Interesting.’
She chuckled. ‘It is for me. How about we meet around six tonight? That’ll give me time to see everything and get back into the city centre.’
‘Let’s meet on the south side of Westminster Bridge. I’d like to walk by the Thames.’
‘Sounds fab. I’ll meet you there.’
‘Great. Message when you get there.’
‘I will. See you later.’ She ended the call and smiled at the phone. Oliver was so much nicer in London than he ever had been back home, and it made her insides soar just thinking about it. How enjoyable did walking along the Thames with him sound?
As soon as the competition ended that afternoon, she made her way back to the station and hopped on a train. She was lucky to get a seat, and for a moment, she rested her feet and took time to relax. Her brain was still in overdrive from the show. When she’d gathered her thoughts, she messaged Oliver to tell him she was on her way.
OLIVER: I’m near the bridge already. Meet outside the station.
It didn’t take long to get there, and she jostled her way through the crowd around Westminster, looking everywhere until her eyes were drawn to the tall figure of Oliver, standing near the entrance, checking his phone.
She marched up to him and tapped his shoulder. ‘Hey.’
‘Ah, there you are.’ He pocketed his phone. ‘How did you get on?’
‘It was brilliant, but I missed having people about that I knew. I talked to some people, but it’s not really the same. Shame Amber couldn’t have come with me.’
‘There isn’t exactly room for her and I’m not sure I want to have three to a room, especially on the sleeper.’
Hayley giggled. ‘Yeah, we couldn’t have travelled like this if she’d come. You’d have been free.’
He gave her a rueful glance. ‘Maybe I’m a little glad she couldn’t come then.’
Hayley’s insides did a backflip. ‘Are you saying you’re enjoying my company?’
‘I suppose I am. Thank you for listening to me yesterday.’
‘It wasn’t a problem.’
‘Well, it helped me. I’m not good at talking about stuff. It’s easier to keep things to myself, but I’m glad I shared this time.’
She smiled at him and placed her hand on his arm. ‘I didn’t really do anything, but I’m happy it helped.’
His eyes lingered on her hand before straying to her face. ‘I don’t know whether to take the job or not, assuming I get it.’
‘It’s an opportunity, isn’t it?’ She moved her hand and turned to walk. ‘And your career is important to you.’
‘Yes. It is.’
They crossed the bridge to the south side, and Hayley took some photos of the palace of Westminster and Big Ben. How odd to be counselling Oliver to take the job when she kind of wanted him to stay. A lead weight sank in her tummy, along with the suspicion that as soon as they were back in Glenbriar, he’d go back to his cold self. Well, if that was the case, it wouldn’t matter where he was.
They found a place selling street food near the London Eye and sat on a bench beside a park to eat as dusk fell and the city started to sparkle around them.
‘I love the city lights at night,’ Hayley said. ‘And nosing in people’s windows.’
‘Isn’t that a bit creepy?’
‘I don’t mean like a peeping Tom. I just like it when you walk past and get a quick look into other people’s lives.’
‘I’m not sure it’s something I’ve ever really thought about.’
‘I could sit here for hours and watch the world go by, wondering about the people and their lives.’
‘Sounds like you should be the one contemplating moving here.’
‘I can people watch anywhere. London is great, but I don’t want to live here. I like Glenbriar and living near to my family and friends.’
‘It’s definitely not a move to take on lightly. I’m lucky, I suppose, that I don’t have any ties.’
Hayley wasn’t sure that was lucky at all. It sounded the exact opposite to her. ‘Well, I do. And at some point, I want to get married, have kids and all that jazz. I wouldn’t want to do that here. I want my kids growing up near the countryside like I did with fresh air and less traffic.’
Oliver glanced at her. ‘You’re really invested in the romantic ideal, aren’t you?’
‘If you mean do I want to be happy, then yes.’
‘Do you need to be married with children to be happy?’
‘No. I’m happy now, but being happy isn’t static and doesn’t mean you can’t change. What made me happy at four isn’t what made me happy at twelve and so on. Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s an ongoing journey, and it adapts to different stages in life. Right now, I’m happy being single.’ Mostly, though she wasn’t about to admit it wasn’t as rosy as all that. ‘But later I want to be happy with someone else.’
‘Well, I hope it works out for you. In my experience, it doesn’t. Happy endings are the stuff of myth.’
‘Oh, Oliver.’ She let out a sigh. He was hopeless sometimes. ‘Happy endings don’t mean once you’ve found your special person, you don’t have to do anything for the rest of your life. You’ll still have ups and downs, but you’ve always got someone to help fight your corner. Love is an action. It doesn’t stop once you’ve found it. It’s something you have to keep doing; it might not look the same all through your life but it’s there, and it’s worth it.’
‘Is it? Why?’
‘Because it’s lonely without it.’
‘And what if you lose it?’
‘There’s always a risk, but you can’t go through life avoiding everything on the off chance of pain. What if you let years of happiness slip by because you’ve spent them worrying about something that might never happen?’
He gave a little shrug. ‘Sometimes you have to protect your heart or the little you have isn’t worth it.’
His hands were resting on his lap, his fingers twitching. Hayley placed her hand on top of them. ‘I understand where you’re coming from, and I get it, but take care. You agreed with me yesterday that life was short, so it’s all about taking opportunities when they arise.’
‘You’re right again.’ He nodded and stared into the distance.
Hayley followed his sightline and watched as the London Eye moved slowly around, all lit up against the inky black sky.
‘It’s getting a little cold,’ he said. ‘Should we walk for a bit?’
‘Sure.’ They deposited their litter in the bin and walked along the wide pavement at the side of the Thames. She’d never have wanted to do this on her own, but with Oliver beside her, she felt invincible. Holding back from taking his hand was a struggle because it seemed like the right thing to do. To her heart anyway, though her head knew better, and she thrust her hands into her pockets to keep them out of trouble as she took in the lit-up boats and buildings.
After a while, they turned and went back towards Big Ben. They crossed the bridge and carried on towards Trafalgar Square. They were getting close to Theatre land and Hayley wished she could go to a show, but she stifled a yawn. She was already running on empty from the lack of sleep on the train and all the excitement of the day.
‘Do you want to head back?’ Oliver asked.
‘Not really, but I’m too tired to do much else.’
‘How about we walk back instead of getting the tube? It’ll feel like we’ve done something then.’
‘Great idea.’
She kept close to him as they made their way through the heart of London. Businesspeople were still dashing about, tourists were snapping photos, bars and clubs were jumping and the buses and taxis were rolling up and down, occasionally honking horns. All of it was so London. So much to take in and enjoy… sparingly.
For what Oliver had said would be a half-hour walk, it seemed to go much quicker, and they were soon back at the Royal Saxon Hotel. Hayley checked the time on her phone.
‘It’s nine o’clock,’ she said.
‘Shall we go for a drink?’ Oliver asked.
Like she’d turn down that offer!
The bar had the same olde-worlde chic as the rest of the hotel. Hayley and Oliver took a seat in the corner. She ordered a cocktail while he settled for a cold beer.
‘Cheers.’ Oliver raised his glass. ‘Let’s hope we have another successful day tomorrow.’
‘Let’s hope.’ She clinked her glass on his before sipping the ruby red daiquiri. ‘Ooh, this is lush.’
His lips quirked in that little half smirk of his. Would he ever smile properly? He still didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, so she filled the silence with chat about cocktails, people passing by, and pretty much anything she could think of.
By the time they got back to the room, she was yawning almost uncontrollably. ‘I need to sleep.’ She flapped her hand in front of her mouth.
‘Me too.’ Oliver opened the door.
After getting ready for bed in the bathroom, Hayley climbed under the covers and closed her eyes, still listening to the faint sound of the traffic on the main road.
‘Night-night,’ she said.
‘Night,’ Oliver replied.
Soon, she heard his breathing go heavy. The urge to jump out of bed and kiss him goodnight burned like blue fire inside her. She steadied herself, taking slow deliberate breaths, until she drifted off to sleep.