Chapter 10
10
She planted her feet and the whole line behind her stopped moving, panic and adrenaline rushing through her. “You can’t leave him back there. He needs our help!” Helen insisted for the tenth time, her heart hammering so hard she could barely breathe. Each time she’d protested, Lando had just propelled her forward without one look of compromise.
This time he rounded on her, grabbing her hair in a painful grip. “He is of no use to me wounded,” he said, viciously shaking her. “You will have to do what it takes to save my brother.”
She gritted her teeth against the pain and wanted to shout that he was out of his mind. Even if the situation wasn’t futile, she couldn’t operate. She wasn’t a surgeon. She was an assistant. She knew all there was to know about vital signs, medical equipment, and how to set up an operating room. She could do minor things like sutures and administering medicine. That was all. Her experiences in the remote places she had gone had pushed her medical knowledge just that much farther. She knew the signs of the desperate and Lando was displaying many of them. Denial, rationalization, and numbness.
But she couldn’t admit that the whole situation was hopeless because that would put her in immediate jeopardy. If Lando knew his brother was going to die no matter what she did, he would kill her outright. Helen took a hard breath, trying to process, trying to think, but all she could do was shut down. She was wasting her breath. Her protests and pleas were falling on deaf ears. There was nothing she could do for Greg, and that killed her inside. She went into this profession to make a difference, as she had all over the world. Leaving a man bleeding and alone went against everything she stood for.
It was clear that he and Taer were close, and it was common knowledge that twins shared a primary attachment that was irreplaceable and formed an unbreakable bond. It was going to be even worse for him when his brother died, and his unpredictable nature fed into her fear that he was going to lash out at the only person he considered at fault. Her. If she didn’t get out of here before Taer died, she was going to follow him into death at Lando’s hands.
But her immediate concern was for the man they had left bleeding and alone behind them. Trying to reason with Lando was obviously not going to work, and her heart squeezed for Greg as she choked on her compassion, fear, and helplessness.
Her survival instincts kicked in and took precedence over her conscience and the deep urge to give aid. Suddenly blinded by tears, Helen stumbled on the uneven ground as Lando once again started her moving.
Helen wasn’t sure how she kept going. It was as if her legs weren’t even there, and she was shivering so badly that she had to clench her teeth to keep them from chattering. But it was a different kind of cold. It was as though she was experiencing a delayed reaction to all the stress that had accumulated over the past six months, and the agony over Greg was the last straw. And she just couldn’t hold it all in any longer. She was only aware of planting one foot in front of the other, and the rain sluicing down her skin, adding to the effects of the shock she was trying to handle.
Through the darkness and the rain, Helen could see a long structure just ahead of them. They moved along, the gunfire now far behind them. But so was Greg. She experienced another rolling wave of anguish and helplessness.
Guards stiffened as they came into the compound, relaxing when they saw it was their leaders. One of the men ran ahead and opened the door. Lando entered, and Helen followed along with the men who were carrying Taer. The place was dry, but damp as the humidity of the jungle encroached. Fans spun in windows, but the cool air only made her shiver more violently.
They carried the litter to one of the rooms beyond the main area that was set up with couches and electronic equipment.
“Go and clean him up and put dry clothes on him. Make him comfortable.”
She opened her mouth one final time. But Lando’s expression turned to ice, and he shook his head, his jaw set. Resigned, she headed for what turned out to be a bedroom complete with a bed, dresser, and a nightstand.
One of the men had turned on the light beside the bed. “Get his clothes off him and get me a towel.”
One of the men went into a makeshift bathroom and came out with several towels. He tossed one to her as two of the men stripped Taer down to his skin, and the other two dried off his lower body.
She was used to dealing with all kinds of bodies, so his nakedness didn’t faze her. She towel-dried his hair and ashen face. He groaned softly once but was quiet after that. They pulled on a pair of soft gray cotton shorts over his hips and butt.
“I need Dr. Matthews’s medical kit,” she said, her heart lurching at the sound of his name. Clamping down once again at the urge to argue with Lando about going back and helping Greg, she removed the bandage Greg had placed over the wound to protect it. Her hands trembled as she cleaned the wound with sterile water and packed the wound with Quik Clot Gauze, then put a clean bandage over the bullet hole. The Quik Clot would slow the bleeding but if the bullet was in there, infection was going to set in, but that really wasn’t important. She couldn’t operate, and Taer was already dying. She injected him with some antibiotics out of the kit but knew it wouldn’t be enough. She had to find a way out of there.
She grabbed up more morphine and injected him, then covered him up with blankets. She eyed the dresser and crossed to it, pulling out the top drawer. Inside were neatly folded T-shirts. She pulled out a simple gray cotton one and rummaged in the second drawer for a pair of soft, flowing tan pants. She also found a long-sleeved sweatshirt.
She went toward the bathroom, but there was no door. She turned and said in Filipino, “Please give me some privacy.”
The men murmured some words under their breath, but she couldn’t make them out. Once the door closed around them, she pulled off the wet clothes and quickly toweled off the moisture, shivering, then got into the dry clothes. Taer’s clothes almost fit her. He was a slim man, but still a man, so she had to tighten the drawstring on the pants all the way to the end of the ties. Baggy, but they would do under these circumstances.
She bent over the sink and a small sob escaped as her despair and frustration threatened to overwhelm her. But she had to think about herself more than she had in her life, and that was so strange to her. She had given so much to so many, she wondered at having any pieces of herself left.
She walked out of the bathroom, towel drying her hair. Taer was still quiet and unconscious. The morphine would make his death as painless as possible, but she would have to wait a bit for him to rouse before she could start questioning him. It all seemed so mercenary, but the stakes were too high for her not to try and find out as much information as she could.
She quickly braided her hair to keep it off her face and her stomach grumbled. She left the room, realizing that she would need some broth to feed Taer. She wished they had brought some IV bags with them on their trip to the village.
“I need to eat, and Taer will need some broth,” she said as she came out of the room. Lando turned to her.
“It’s already being prepared,” he said. “How is my brother?”
“Dry, comfortable, and I changed his bandage. He’s resting.”
He nodded, the hard edge to his face softening infinitesimally. “Sit,” he ordered, and she walked to one of the sofas and lowered herself to the soft cushions. She was thankful for the long sleeves, as the room was cool.
She wrapped her arms around herself, thinking back over the revelation that had smacked her over the head. She had never thought that she was personally avoiding her pain by using others to block it, making her thoughts, actions, and sympathies just part of their suffering. She had to face the fact that this type of nursing was nothing but her way of keeping everything fluid and detached.
The turning point had been when D-Day had rejected her attempts to try to connect with him the last time he was at the ranch. Before him, she’d kept her relationships at a superficial level because she didn’t want to deal with whatever wasn’t working, and it was easy to keep things superficial because she was always either out of the country or training. She just simply had to allow the distance and the lack of communication to kill anything that she didn’t want to pursue.
And D-Day had turned the tables on her. He had her heart, almost from the beginning. In him she saw pain and a terrible isolation, but how brave he had been to bond with her family, to open up his heart and accept their love and affection. It humbled her and devastated her when her actions had driven him away from something that was so elemental for him.
Her armor had shattered, and she hadn’t been the same woman since.
A demure woman came into the room with a tray. She set it down on the coffee table. The aroma made Helen’s belly cramp. Lando sat down across from her and reached for a plate, and Helen then took hers. Chicken Adobo was easy to spot. There was fried chicken and very yellow rice with onions. She unabashedly dug in, savoring the perfectly fried chicken, and the vinegar, soy sauce, and garlic flavors that burst on her tongue.
Lando pushed a dish of what looked like spring rolls toward her. “Lumpia. Very good.”
Helen took one and crunched into it. Absolutely delicious and perfectly cooked. “Your cook is very skilled.”
He nodded but didn’t elaborate.
“Taer said you come from a fishing village in this area and that you help the people by providing for them with some of the proceeds from your…gunrunning.”
“Taer talks too much,” he muttered.
Just as they finished, the woman came back with a cup filled with a rich broth. Helen smiled at her. “The food was very, very good.”
She smiled and bowed, but after glancing at Lando, immediately left.
Sheesh, this guy was such a bully.
Without saying anything else to him, Helen headed back to Taer’s room. Slipping inside, she pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down. She shook him gently, and he opened his eyes. “Helen,” he rasped.
“You need to eat some of this broth and drink some water,” she said gently. Unable to tamp down that need to help and provide comfort. “Can you sit up a bit?”
He winced and nodded as she leaned in to help him get into a better position to eat.
He took several spoonfuls of the broth and drank some of the water, then reclined back, dark circles under his eyes and a gray tinge to his skin. “Where is your doctor?”
She swallowed hard and that anguish rose up in her, and she let it settle into her heart. She should feel this pain. Greg had once been her lover, and he had been so brave. She said, “He was shot on our way here.”
“By Lando?” he said angrily.
“No. By whoever is fighting out there. I’m not sure.” She took a shuddering breath. “Your brother left him behind.”
“What?” He was visibly upset, and Helen knew it was now or never to talk to him.
“You’re not like your brother. Ruthless.”
He looked away. “Lando has always provided for our family and taken care of some of the unpleasant tasks of our business. I’m not always aligned with him, but he does what he thinks is best.”
“Like leaving people to die, and weapons of mass destruction?”
His mouth tightened, and he swallowed hard. “What are you talking about?”
“That…Australian…” she said with as much disgust and disdain she could muster, “said as much.”
Before she could say another word, Taer called out and the guards came in and bustled her out. Lando passed her with a dark look as he entered his brother’s room. The door slammed behind him, and she could hear a terrible argument between the twins. When he stalked out, he stopped in front of her, his eyes narrowing, a flush of anger on his cheeks.
“Don’t you dare, Lando,” Taer said from his bed. With a snarl and some very bad Filipino words, he stalked off.
She slipped back into the room and sat next to him. Taer looked terrible, and not all of it was physical. “What is it?” she asked.
He swallowed hard. “You were right. He’s selling nuclear triggers to the NPA.” Shock and horror jolted through her. Nuclear triggers? Oh, God. No wonder Bailee and the SEALs were here. If the NPA used them against the government, it would naturally involve all the Americans here, devastate their country and economy and destroy the environment. “I told him to stop the deal. Destroy them, but he won’t listen to me. Our country will be devastated if those bastards use those weapons.”
“Do you know where they are? When is the deal happening?” Her resolve hardened. She couldn’t give any quarter to Taer, her sympathy now tempered by the vital information that she needed to manipulate out of him. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with that information. All she could do was fly by the seat of her pants until she came up with a solid plan.
He took a hard breath. “Three days from now, and I don’t know where they are.” He closed his eyes, groaning a little. “But I will find out.”
“Are you in pain?” He opened his eyes and nodded, and she gave him another injection, bolstered by the strong conviction in his voice. As he slipped back to sleep, she was optimistic that she could get the location of the triggers.
When she went back out into the main room, Lando hadn’t settled down. He was still livid. He stared at her, violence in his eyes. “You better pray that my brother survives.”
The threat hung in the air between them, chilling her to the bone. It wasn’t anything she was sure about, but before her expectation was that he would simply kill her outright, and now she wasn’t so sure.
Suddenly, there was a commotion outside, and Helen walked to the window to look outside. Men were milling around crowding someone who walked with a purpose. Then he pushed them away, and D-Day stalked out of a gray-white mist that swirled and wrapped around him like a cloak, as if he was materializing, an avenging spirit of the vast, verdant jungle, and for a moment, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. She made a soft sound, expecting that Lando would think it was in dismay when it was nothing but freaking, everlasting joy.
And he was that dangerous gunslinger again, glittering like gold, his skin burnished bronze, every muscle delineated by the dim light, and the rain slicking in rivulets down over those heavy biceps. Brooding and intense, he was intensely male in as basic and primal a way as the seething jungle. He’d been trained by the toughest force on the planet into an elite combat weapon, taught to think two steps ahead of the enemy while under fire, underwater, outmanned, and on the hunt. He was the Big Bad Wolf at the door and unbeknownst to Lando, he was Little Red Riding Hood. But he wouldn’t have to huff and puff to blow it down. He would just burst right through it.
If there was anyone who could get her out of a camp full of dangerous men, it would be D-Day.
Just like that, he was her solid plan.
The door opened and D-Day and Zorro walked through, both heavily armed. Lando glared at them, then dismissed the guards with a shake of his head.
“Hey, mate,” D-Day said, in a deceptively casual voice, the underlying tension rolling off him in waves. He didn’t even spare her a glance, treating her as if she was insignificant when she was sure she was anything but. She was the reason he was here, and the mission. They were one and the same. Zorro, on the other hand, gave her a onceover like the medic he was, his eye keen for any injuries. He grinned at her and winked, and she suddenly felt so much better.
D-Day stalked across the room and got into Lando’s face. “You stood me up. I don’t like that.” He was once again in character, his Aussie accent smooth as silk.
“Yeah,” Zorro quipped, making a sad face. “He’s sensitive.”
“Yeah, mate. I’m sensitive.” D-Day’s face hardened. “We have business to conduct.”
“I got waylaid. My brother got shot and we had to move out of that area. If you’re not aware, mate , the NPA and the government are locking horns.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck. World War III could erupt and I’m still sensitive about my bottom line.” Geezus, Butler was a complete asshole , Helen thought. “You have the weapons, now you produce the payment, and we’re golden.”
Lando nodded, realizing that fucking over Graham Butler was a very bad move, especially when he was in possession of the Aussie’s top-tier weapons. There was a deal on the table. “I apologize for the miscommunication.” Lando walked over to a place on the floor, hunkered down, and pulled up a loose board where a safe lay. He punched in the code and then pulled out a small leather sack.
Rising, he walked over to D-Day and set it in his outstretched palm. D-Day undid the drawstring and dumped out the glittering gems in the pouch. “Yeah, good on ya. These are beauts. Diamonds are the best form of currency. Fair dinkum , mate. We’re square, and I won’t have to cut out your heart.”
“That’s too bad,” Zorro said. “I like organ meats.”
“We’re done here,” Lando said. “You can leave.”
“It’s brutal out there. How about we add three guns to your count for a couple of days?” Finally, he turned to look at Helen, licking his lips. “And I see another treasure that is worth mining.”
Playing her part, she put a disgusted look on her face and stiffened. “I’ll kill you first.”
D-Day’s rich, deep laughter rang through the room, the humor transforming his face as his straight, white teeth flashed, and she was determined that, in his future, he would laugh a lot more. “I do like you, wildcat. I can’t wait to get to know you better.” His hot, dark gaze raked over her as though he was stripping her naked.
“She’s off limits until my brother is healed,” Lando said. His glittering eyes told her that he wanted to turn her over to this ruthless gunrunner to satiate his anger. “I won’t have her harmed. After that…” He shrugged, with a nasty, smug look.
D-Day made a soft male sound deep in his throat, his eyes going hot and predatory. “Oh, mate, I only intend to harm her so good,” he said with velvet softness.
She let shock and dismay cross her face but couldn’t wait for the moment when they would be alone. She had so much to tell him.
Lando ate that up and smiled. “Yeah, a few days works. But you said three guns.”
“Do you think I would come in here without backup?”
So Buck was probably here, too, out there in that soggy mess. There was so much stuff she hadn’t been aware her brother did, like this. Providing security for D-Day and Zorro while dealing with being wet and uncomfortable. She’d always had respect for him, but that respect and the love she had for her big brother expanded, knowing that these men were risking their lives not only for her, but for their country and for millions of Filipino strangers. That surely put everything into perspective.
When the food came, D-Day looked at her and patted a spot next to him on the sofa. “Come on, wildcat, keep me company.”
She lifted her chin, her eyes narrowing, then shook her head.
“Sit,” Lando ordered, then gave her a sly smile.
Lando’s order brooked no disagreement. She reluctantly pushed away from the window.
D-Day watched her with an oddly intent look. Helen stared at him, then looked at Lando, her mind not connecting with anything. Lando jerked his chin toward the couch and D-Day said in a gentle voice, “Come on, wildcat. I promise not to bite.”
Helen walked to the sofa and sat down, her body rigid as she huddled in the sweatshirt for warmth. She wedged her trembling hands between her knees, aware—so desperately aware—of the man beside her. It wasn’t hard to play this part. It was as if everything was hitting her at once, sending her whole body into shock. The six months without him, Greg’s possible death, the emotional jolt of seeing D-Day walk out of the jungle like her white knight.
Swallowing hard, she clamped her thighs tighter together, her vision blurring. God, if she started crying, she would never stop. Vaguely aware of the conversation between Lando and D-Day, she locked her jaw and looked blindly out the window, trying to will away the awful constriction in her chest and throat. Maybe that was the problem. She had bottled up so much over her life, especially her separation from D-Day—it was as if there simply wasn’t room for anything more, and it was finally spilling out, whether she wanted it to or not.
D-Day tensed, and she knew he must be fighting the urge to take her into his arms, and she craved that security, that warmth and comfort.
“How about something to wash this tucker down,” he said, using the Aussie slang term for food, meaning something to be tucked away.
She read his body language and those subtle nuances she’d picked up and knew that anger was held in deep check. He was releasing a whole lot of frustrated energy, yes, but there was a purpose to him that bolstered her confidence and gave her hope that they would bring this mission to a close.
Lando got up and went to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle filled with a blue liquid. He walked back, twisted off the cap, and poured two glasses. Zorro dropped his weapon, and when Lando looked over, D-Day dropped something in his drink. When he looked back, he picked up his glass and tipped it. “To the bottom line,” he said.
D-Day clinked glasses with him and smiled. “Fair dinkum.”
Moments after he downed the glass of liquor, Lando’s eyes grew heavy, and he slipped into unconsciousness.
With a soft cry, she threw herself into D-Day’s waiting arms, and he hugged her hard. Hauling in a deep, ragged breath, he kissed the top of her head. “Fuck, I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered roughly, holding her as if he couldn’t let her go.
Zorro came over, shifted Lando onto his shoulder, and toted him down the hall away from them. He pressed her head to his shoulder, gathering her up in a tight embrace, his hand cupping her nape. Shifting so she was flat against him, she closed her eyes, the rush of relief and comfort flowing over her. He tightened his hold on her, her heart hammering, her breathing harsh.
Shifting her head, he covered her mouth in a hot, deep kiss, and she opened to him, her mouth moving against his with an urgent need for the closeness she craved with him. Her jaw locked against the ache in her throat. “I’m so thankful you’re here.”
“Nothing was going to keep me away from you,” he said, his tone ominous. Sealing his mouth over hers again, he kissed her for several seconds. He broke the kiss, frowning. “I’m sorry about the way I have to act toward you, about what I had to say and do in front of that bastard.” His tone was gruff, low and sincere, his gaze still watching her. His gentle touch was a balm to her soul.
She was filled to the brim with feelings for him, and she gently combed her fingers through his damp hair, wishing she could wrap up every inch of him. He was so infinitely special. So infinitely precious. “It was necessary, so don’t go and heap guilt on your conscience for my sake.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. He took a deep breath as she kissed him just beneath his ear. Another faint tremor coursed through him, and he clasped her so tightly it hurt.
“I know what you’re looking for.” Her breath rushed out in horror. “Nuclear triggers. Taer told me. He tried to nix the deal, but Lando refused. He’s going to find out where Lando is holding them.”
His gaze locked on her, his voice low, filled with pride. “That’s excellent news.”
Helen had to clench her teeth to keep her own emotions in check. “There’s one wrinkle. The NPA will be here in two or three days to finish the deal,” she said in a rush. “Taer doesn’t have much time left.”
“I know.” The muscles in his throat worked. “We’re going to get out of here alive, Helen. Then we’re going to figure everything out. But right now, we have to play our parts and get those triggers.”
She latched onto those words, “figure everything out” and hoped like hell they would get out of here alive and have a chance at a new, true beginning. But right now, everything turned on an explosive dime, and that freaking tightrope got even more taut.