Chapter 9
Lila was a good friend. She had a sunny disposition, was thoughtful, and only one year older than Daisy. From the moment Lila’s family moved into their church district when she was in the fifth grade, they’d become close friends.
Every other Sunday, Daisy would look forward to sitting next to her at church. They’d catch up on each other’s lives, joke about some of the same people they found amusing, and even trade recipes or names of books that they’d checked out at the library.
Daisy was grateful for Lila’s presence in her life, especially since she’d drifted away from so many of her other girlfriends.
It had started when she was in the seventh and eighth grade. Even at that young age, some of the girls were already flirting with the boys in their school. After their eighth grade graduation, most would enter into rumspringa, and some of the girls wanted to be dating during it.
Daisy hadn’t wanted anything to do with that.
By the time they were all in their late teens, many of the girls were either being courted or were getting engaged. When Daisy was still spending most of her extra time in barns, some of the girls started making fun of her.
As the years passed and Daisy still wasn’t interested in courting, marriage, and babies as much as farming her own piece of land, her former friends had fallen by the wayside.
Now when they ran into each other at the store or at a restaurant in town, the conversations were cordial but felt a bit empty.
At first, Daisy had been upset by the changes.
Then her mother had gently taken her aside and explained that such things were only natural.
Those girls were now married women. Their lives were filled with tales about their husbands and managing their own homes.
As the years passed, pregnancies and babies consumed their lives.
There was only so much one could talk about to a woman like Daisy, who was still living at home and didn’t seem to have any interest in the things that consumed them.
She could absolutely see their point of view.
The distance that had grown between them had still hurt though, especially when she’d worked for Melissa, had hated her job, and was dreaming about improvements she’d make to the farm next door.
Lila didn’t seem to care about their differences, though. She often whispered to Daisy that they were kindred spirits, which was a reference to Anne of Green Gables.
Daisy wasn’t certain if they were that or not. All she did know was that Lila was the type of good friend to come over as soon as she’d heard about the accident.
Lila’s auburn hair, blue eyes, and pretty smile were a sight for sore eyes.
“I’m so glad to see you.”
“I feel the same way!” Lila exclaimed as she crossed the room to take a seat by her side. “I’ve been so worried about you. I can’t believe you hurt yourself so badly on an electric bicycle.”
“I wish I hadn’t.”
She squeezed Daisy’s hand. “We prayed for you the whole time you were in the hospital.”
“Danke.”
“No thanks is needed. I was concerned about you. Truly, I couldn’t believe it when Brandt told me about your accident.”
“Your husband told you?”
“Oh, jah. He was at the feed store and crossed paths with your brother Lukas. He filled my Brandt in. I must say, we were so shocked about what happened to you.” Reaching out, she clasped Daisy’s hand. “It’s a blessing that you weren’t hurt worse than you were.”
“I agree. I am grateful.”
Scanning her from head to toe, she added, “How are you feeling, really?”
Daisy chuckled. “Really? Did you think I would lie to you?”
“I think you are going to put a good face on a scary experience. So come now, be honest.”
“To be honest, I’m still sore.”
“That’s too bad. I thought that maybe your leg would be feeling better since it was encased in that cast.”
“It doesn’t hurt too badly, but my body has a lot of bruises still. And my ribs are paining me something awful.”
Her blue eyes widened. “You hurt your ribs, too?”
“Jah. I have two fractured ribs.”
“And a concussion, jah?”
“Jah. My concussion was minor, though. It is much better.” Honestly, a lot of her aches and pains were from the way her body was attempting to adjust to her injuries. Sometimes she wasn’t sure if she would ever stand straight and tall ever again. Though, of course she would. She just needed time.
Hating that their conversation was centered around her injuries, Daisy said, “Let’s not talk about me anymore. Tell me about you.”
A shadow filled Lila’s eyes before her smile returned. “Nothing with me is of consequence.”
“Are you sure? My leg might be broken but the rest of me is in pretty good working order. I’m happy to listen.”
Lila peeked toward the door. After obviously checking to make sure that they were alone, she said, “Both my mother and my mother-in-law want me to go to the doktah because I’m still not pregnant after two years of marriage.”
Daisy blinked. And for maybe the first time, she realized that there was a reason that she didn’t have a lot to say to her old girlfriends. She had no idea about the topic.
But that didn’t mean she couldn’t commiserate on feeling pressured by family members. “I’m sorry they are getting involved in your business.”
Relief shined bright in Lila’s eyes. “This is why I knew that we were going to be lifelong friends, Daisy. Even though you haven’t had to think about such things, that is what it has boiled down to. Our parents are sticking their noses into something that isn’t their business.”
“What does Brandt think?”
“Oh, Brandt thinks the same as I do. He hates that something so personal is talked about at the supper table.”
“I am sorry for that. But at least you have your husband’s complete support.”
Lila nodded, but she still looked troubled.
Making Daisy realize that there was still more to their story. “Lila, is there something more?”
“Oh, Daisy.” Lila’s bottom lip trembled before she visibly pulled herself together. “The truth is that I’m not sure what to do anymore.” After glancing around her again, she whispered, “Sometimes I think Brandt agrees that there must be something wrong with me.”
She was shocked. Of course she wanted to defend Lila and tell her that she was perfect. But there was some truth to the statement. The newspapers were filled with stories of people discovering diseases and tumors and such that they’d had no idea they had.
“Forgive me if this is too personal, but why don’t you want to see a doctor?”
“Because I don’t want to know the answer.” She looked away. “If they do find something is wrong, I’m going to be devastated. I mean, what if I can’t have a baby?”
“Lila, there are a great many things in between ‘you are perfectly fine’ and ‘you can’t have a baby.’ There’s a good chance that you won’t get a diagnosis like that. Don’t you think? I mean, shouldn’t one always try to look on the bright side of things?”
Lila shrugged. “I don’t know. At this point, I’m confused about a lot of things. I’m also worried that there might be nothing wrong with me.”
“But that would be wonderful-gut, jah?”
“Not if the problem lies with Brandt.” She looked away.
“I know you don’t want anything to be wrong with him either. But doesn’t that mean he should be excited to get checked?”
“One would think so.” She sighed. “I can tell you right now that my husband is not going to want to do that visit.”
“I see.” Well, she didn’t, but what could she say? She felt as if she and Lila were going around in circles and that maybe her girlfriend would rather do that instead of reach a resolution.
“If you do, then you must see why I don’t want to do anything. Besides, it’s only been two years. And it wasn’t like we were really trying at first,” she said in a rush. “I think it would be best for the Lord to tell us what to do.”
Daisy privately thought that the Lord was telling them to go to the doctor, but she sure wasn’t going to say that. “I hope things get better soon.”
“Jah. Me too.” She slumped.
Daisy’s heart went out to her. It was obvious that she’d come over for answers and was disappointed not to receive any. “What a pair we are!” Daisy teased. “We’re sure a lot different than the two women we used to know back at the Amish school.”
“You’re right. Back then all we had to worry about were passing quizzes, spelling tests, and getting the boys to notice us.”
“You might have been worried about the boys. I was just trying to pass those spelling tests.”
“You always were such a bad speller. Are you any better now?”
“I don’t know. Probably not.” Realizing that she’d long ago accepted the fact that she was never going to suddenly easily spell most countries in the world, or even simple words like “niece” or “people,” Daisy shrugged.
“It doesn’t matter too much to me anymore.
I learned to keep a dictionary by my side if I have the need to write a letter to someone. ”
“Good point. With hardship comes adaptation.”
“Jah. It’s all right, though. My mother has been reminding me that it’s better to focus on one’s blessings than one’s disappointments.”
“That’s a good point.” A sparkle lit Lila’s expression. “You are very right. After all, I did get Brandt, and he is wonderful almost all of the time. Plus, we have our own haus. It’s cozy and cute.”
“Yeah, you could be me. I not only am still living in my childhood bedroom, I have no job, no man, and a cast on my leg.” She’d meant for Lila to laugh at her joke.
But Lila wasn’t giggling.
Actually, she looked rather happy that she wasn’t Daisy Lapp. “You’re right,” Lila whispered as she leaned over and clasped Daisy’s hand. “My situation could be worse. Much, much worse. Thanks for the reminder.”
“Anytime.” She smiled slightly, hoping the smile eased some of the sarcasm in her tone.
Lila didn’t seem to notice, though. She’d simply smiled, too, and began to talk about a vacation to Niagara Falls that she and Brandt had just booked.
Long after Lila left, Daisy realized that her momentary reprieve from her blue mood had ended.
Once again she was re-examining her life, and what she saw gave her no peace of mind. Something needed to change.