Chapter 36
It had to be done. Kyle kept repeating that phrase to himself even though parts of him were cringing about what was about to happen.
He now knew Winter well enough to realize that she didn’t do anything by half measure. She wasn’t going to take his decision lightly. Her parents probably wouldn’t either.
This was when he wished his sweet sister, Sarah, was beside him. If she was there, she’d be giving him a pep talk. Most likely, she’d be detailing all the reasons he needed to break things off with Winter. She wouldn’t spare her words, either.
Instead, he was on his own.
The Walkers’ driveway came into sight far too soon.
Since no one was around, he slowed Angel to a walk.
He not only wanted to eke out every single second he could before facing the Walkers, he couldn’t help but admire their beautiful property.
It was everything he used to dream about having.
Several dozen acres of prime farmland. A solid, large home.
Nice enough to make his wife happy and for their children to have plenty of room to grow.
He had a feeling that Jediah Walker would’ve been supportive, too. The man obviously knew a lot about keeping a successful farm and Kyle would’ve been happy to actively listen to everything he had to say.
He could’ve been happy here.
But Winter wasn’t Daisy and that made all the difference.
“Let’s go, Angel,” he said as he pulled on the lead.
The horse turned to the left and then picked up her pace. If he wasn’t so stressed out about the upcoming conversation he would’ve chuckled. Angel seemed to be in complete agreement about the beauty of this farm. She was practically prancing on the smooth, black asphalt driveway.
When they arrived at the top of the drive, he set the brake and then went about tying Angel’s lines to the hitching post.
Jediah came out from the barn to greet him. “Hello, Kyle.”
“Hi. Gut ohvet.”
“Yes. Good evening.” He smiled. “Do you want to unhitch your mare and put her in a stall? There’s one empty for her. We won’t mind if you use it.”
This was killing him.
“Danke, but I’m afraid I won’t be staying very long today.”
Concern brushed Jediah’s features as he approached. “I’m sorry to hear that. I thought perhaps you and I could sit out back and have a cup of coffee later.” He smiled knowingly. “After you have your special time with Winter, of course.”
So Kyle could formally ask for Winter’s hand in marriage. He knew that was what Jediah was getting at.
And yes, it was rushed, which was part of the problem, he thought. The Walkers had their own goals and timelines and the man for Winter needed to be able to handle that. But even if he hadn’t fallen in love with Daisy, Kyle knew that he wouldn’t be able to have a father-in-law who was so pushy.
Maybe Mr. Walker saw something in Kyle’s face, or maybe he was realizing that he should’ve not made any assumptions about what Kyle had in mind. But whatever the reason, some of the teasing light in his eyes faded and his posture became far more formal.
“Here. I’ll walk you in.”
“Danke.”
“Winter, Kyle is here to see you.”
She turned to him. “Kyle? Hello! My, this is a surprise! A good one, of course,” she added as she reached for his hand. “I didn’t expect you to come over until tomorrow night.”
“I’m afraid I can’t stay long today. May we go somewhere and talk privately?”
Twin spots of color appeared on her cheeks. “Of course.” She led him to the library in the back of the house. Two of the walls held books, the third was mostly windows that looked over the backyard, and the fourth contained the door on one side and a fireplace on the other.
He’d been in there once before and had fallen in love with the space.
Her mother had confided that though they called it the library, it was their family’s catch-all space.
Winter’s mother sewed and quilted in there, her father read the paper, and Winter both read books and did puzzles on the game table.
After hesitating at the sofa, Winter walked to the game table and sat down in one of the chairs. After he joined her, she neatly folded her hands in her lap and stared at him.
Waiting.
Much in her posture and in the slight wariness of her expression reminded Kyle of the first time he’d met Winter. He’d been struck by how tentative and shy such a beautiful woman was.
Now he realized that while she might be those things, she was also far more complex than that. Of course, everyone was usually more than their first impression.
“Winter, I came over to let you know that I think you’re a nice woman and you have a lot to offer, but I don’t think that I’m the man for you.”
A small line formed in between her brows. “I don’t understand.”
Ack! This was excruciating. “What I’m trying to say is that I won’t be calling on you anymore.”
She stared. Said nothing.
When the silence felt oppressive, he added, “I am sorry if this hurts your feelings.”
She inhaled sharply. “If this hurts my feelings? Kyle, you have led me to believe that you were going to propose.”
“Winter, I’m sorry if you felt that way.”
“You’re sorry?” She shook her head. “Nee. That isn’t good enough. You’ve been calling on me all the time.”
“I’ve called on you a handful of times.”
“We went to Lila and Brandt’s party together.”
“I met you there.”
“You’ve had discussions about the farm with my father.”
“Your father and I discussed the pros and cons of a hay supplier.”
“That is practically the same thing.”
“It is not.” Stunned, and now more than a little bit aggravated by the way she’d twisted his actions into something that they weren’t, Kyle cleared his throat.
“Winter, I didn’t make this decision lightly.
I knew when I drove over here that you were going to be upset. I truly am sorry about my decision.”
Two perfect tears slid down her cheeks. “You are breaking my heart. I thought you loved me as much as I love you.”
The things she was saying! It was mind-boggling. He stood up. “Winter, surely you didn’t think we were that serious. I’ve never told you that I loved you. I never even kissed you.”
“I would never have kissed you unless we were engaged, Kyle.”
Her tears continued, but they were no longer making him feel guilty. Instead, he was starting to feel as if he’d dodged a bullet. For a while there, he’d thought she was perfect for him.
Now it was more than apparent that she was anything but that.
“I’m going to leave. I hope one day you will agree that this was the right decision.”
“I can’t believe you. What are you going to do now? You don’t have a farm at home. Plus, you have a sister to take care of. All you do is work for the Millers, who know next to nothing about farming. You don’t even have a future.”
He stared at her but said nothing. Her words hurt but he knew she was lashing out. He supposed he deserved it.
“Goodbye, Winter.”
“I hope you aren’t off to go see Daisy Lapp!” she hissed under her breath.
Unable to help himself, he turned to face her. “Do not bring Daisy into this.”
“How can I not? She’s obviously been flirting with you.” Her tears fell harder. “I bet you’ve kissed her.”
“What is happening between you and me has nothing to do with her. Don’t start making up rumors.”
She stood up. “I wouldn’t have to make up anything about her. She’s awkward and boyish and everything I never want to be.”
Winter’s words caught him off guard. Though they were thrown out and meant to hurt, he couldn’t deny that there was more than a grain of truth to them. Daisy was awkward, endearingly so.
She was a bit tomboyish, and he loved that she knew so much about livestock and farming. He also admired that she wasn’t afraid to lend a helping hand to any task or chore that came up.
And yes, it was the honest truth that Daisy Lapp was nothing like Winter Walker. Thank the good Lord.
“I know she’s nothing like you, Winter. I couldn’t be happier about that.”
He heard Winter gasp behind him, but he didn’t turn back around. Instead, he walked straight to the front door and opened it.
He gave thanks when neither of her parents hurried to his side to ask him questions. He couldn’t wait to leave.
He untied Angel’s lead from the hitching post, got in the buggy and clicked the lines so the mare would head back down the drive.
“We need to head back to the Millers’ farm, Angel,” he said. “It might be imperfect, and it certainly isn’t as fancy as this place, but I reckon it will suit me just fine.”
The horse blew out a snort of air and then picked up her pace. Kyle was grateful for that.
There was a different future waiting for him. He wasn’t sure if it was the one he hoped it would be, but he knew that he wasn’t going to miss what he’d just left. All he felt was relief.