Chapter 5
T he twinkling lights dimmed, casting soft shadows across Nicholas's face. My heart raced as the cheerful Christmas music faded to silence.
"I'm ready," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Nicholas stepped closer, his green eyes filled with warmth. "Gemma," he said gently, "I want to help you let go of the shame and doubt you've been carrying."
A lump formed in my throat. I'd spent so long hiding those feelings, even from myself.
"You deserve joy and acceptance," Nicholas continued, his voice low and soothing. "Especially during this time of year."
I swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "I'm not sure I do," I admitted.
Nicholas reached out, taking my trembling hands in his. "You do," he said firmly. "More than you know."
His touch sent a shiver through me. I wanted to believe him so badly, but years of loneliness and self-doubt were hard to shake.
"How can you be so sure?" I asked.
A slight smile tugged at his lips. "I see you, Gemma. The real you. Clearer than you know."
My breath caught. No one had ever said anything like that to me before.
"What if you don't like what you see?" I whispered.
Nicholas squeezed my hands gently. "Impossible," he said.
I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I'm scared," I confessed.
"I know," Nicholas said softly. "But you're also brave. And I'll be right here with you."
I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. Whatever happened next, I knew I could trust him.
Nicholas's eyes softened as he looked at me. "To move forward, we need to confront those negative feelings you hold about yourself and Christmas," he explained. "By addressing them directly, we can begin to heal them."
My heart pounded in my chest. The idea of facing those dark thoughts terrified me, but Nicholas's steady presence gave me courage. I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"I want you to lay across my lap," he said gently. "You're in control, Gemma. We can stop at any moment."
I hesitated, then slowly lowered myself over his thighs. The position made me feel vulnerable, but also strangely safe.
Nicholas's fingers hooked into the waistband of my pants. "Is this okay?" he asked.
"Yes," I whispered, my cheeks burning.
He tugged them down, exposing my skin to the cool air. I shivered as his warm hand came to rest on my bare buttock.
"This isn't about causing pain," Nicholas assured me. "It's about releasing it."
A thrill of arousal shot through me at his touch. I could feel myself getting wet, and I prayed he wouldn't notice.
"I'm ready," I breathed, then added softly, "Daddy."
I wanted to call him Daddy Christmas, but it would be too much, wouldn’t it?
The word slipped out before I could stop it. I tensed, wondering if I'd crossed a line.
But Nicholas just stroked my back soothingly. "Good girl," he murmured. "Let's begin."
I took a shaky breath, trying to steady my nerves. Nicholas's hand was warm and reassuring on my back.
"Tell me what's weighing on your heart," he prompted gently.
I hesitated, the words sticking in my throat. Admitting these feelings out loud seemed impossible, but I forced myself to speak.
"I feel . . . worthless," I finally whispered. "Like I don't deserve happiness or kindness."
My voice quavered, and I felt tears pricking at my eyes. Saying it aloud made the pain feel fresh and raw.
Without warning, Nicholas's hand came down firmly on my bottom. The sharp sting made me gasp.
"That's not true, baby girl," he said softly but firmly.
As the initial shock faded, I felt a strange sense of lightness. Like some of the heaviness in my chest had lifted.
Nicholas's hand returned to my back, rubbing gentle circles. "Why do you feel that way?" he asked.
I swallowed hard. "Because I've never been good enough," I admitted. "I didn't have a family who wanted me. I don't deserve safety or security."
The words hurt to say, but once I started, they came pouring out. Years of pent-up pain and loneliness spilled from my lips.
Nicholas listened intently, his touch a constant anchor. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath me, steady and calming.
I took a shaky breath, more confessions bubbling up. "I'm . . . I'm unlovable," I whispered.
Nicholas's hand came down again, sharper this time. I gasped, the sting blooming across my skin.
"That is absolutely not true," he said firmly. "You are deserving of love, Gemma. Very deserving."
His words sent a shiver through me. The pain faded quickly, replaced by a tingling warmth.
"I'm a burden," I continued, my voice barely audible.
Another spank, followed by his soothing touch. "You are not a burden. You bring light to those around you."
With each admission, the rhythm continued. Sharp pain, then comfort. My body responded in ways I didn't expect. Heat pooled low in my belly, and I found myself pressing down against Nicholas's lap.
"I don't deserve good things," I moaned, the words mingling with pleasure.
The next spank drew a cry from my lips—part pain, part something else entirely.
"You deserve all the good things life has to offer," Nicholas murmured.
I was trembling now, overwhelmed by the storm of sensations. The pain blurred with pleasure, making my head spin. Instinctively, I ground my hips down, seeking more friction.
Nicholas's free hand stroked my hair. "Let it out, little one," he encouraged. "You're doing so well."
Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. They weren't from pain, but from something deeper—a release I hadn't known I needed. As each confession left my lips, I felt lighter, like I was shedding years of built-up shame.
"I'm . . . I'm not worthless," I whispered tentatively.
Nicholas's hand paused, then stroked my heated skin gently. "That's right," he said softly. "You're not worthless at all."
I swallowed hard, amazed at how different those words felt coming from my own mouth.
"Maybe . . . maybe I do deserve happiness," I breathed out.
His fingers traced soothing circles on my lower back. "Yes, you do," Nicholas affirmed, his voice warm with pride. "You deserve all the happiness in the world."
I shivered at his touch, acutely aware of how exposed I was. But for the first time, that vulnerability didn't feel like weakness. It felt like strength.
"I'm trying," I murmured. "I'm trying to be better."
Nicholas's hand moved to caress my ass, easing the lingering sting. "And that effort matters," he said. "You're doing so well, Gemma."
I closed my eyes, letting his words wash over me. The room felt charged with possibility, like something fundamental had shifted inside me.
I took a deep breath, feeling a newfound courage well up inside me. "I'm not a bad person," I said, my voice stronger now. "I deserve good things."
"Exactly," he said, his voice filled with warmth. "I'm so proud of you, Gemma."
My heart swelled at his words. I'd never had anyone be proud of me before. It felt . . . incredible.
"You can sit up now, little one," Nicholas said softly.
I pushed myself up slowly, my body tingling all over. Nicholas gently helped me readjust, then wrapped his arms around me in a comforting embrace. I leaned into him, breathing in his scent - pine and cinnamon and something uniquely him.
"You've carried these false beliefs for too long," he murmured, his breath tickling my ear. "But they don't define you. You're strong, kind, and worthy of all the joy life has to offer."
I felt my breath catch in my throat. His words seemed to fill empty spaces inside me I hadn't even known were there.
"Do you really believe that?" I whispered, hardly daring to hope.
Nicholas pulled back slightly, his green eyes meeting mine. "With all my heart," he said firmly.
I saw nothing but sincerity in his gaze. For the first time in my life, I started to believe it too.
Overwhelmed by emotions I couldn't even name, I stared into Nicholas's eyes. They were so green, so kind. Without thinking, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.
The kiss was soft at first, hesitant. But as Nicholas responded, matching my pace, it deepened. Years of loneliness and longing poured out of me. I felt a spark ignite between us, warm and bright as the fairy lights surrounding us.
Nicholas's hand came up to cradle my cheek. His touch was so gentle, like he thought I might break. Maybe I would. I'd never felt anything like this before.
"Is this okay?" he murmured against my lips.
I nodded, not trusting my voice. It was more than okay. It was everything.
The world seemed to fade away as we kissed. There was only Nicholas, his warmth, his scent, the softness of his lips on mine. I felt safe. Cherished.
As our kiss deepened, I felt a tingling sensation start at the base of my spine and radiate outwards like a wave. It was as if every cell in my body was singing a song of happiness and contentment. I knew this feeling was new to me, but it felt so familiar, like a memory buried deep within me had finally surfaced.
Nicholas's hand moved from my cheek to my waist, guiding me closer to him. My fingers traced the contours of his strong back through his festive attire, and I marveled at how well he fit against me, how perfectly our bodies seemed to fit together.
He broke the kiss for a moment, his eyes searching mine as if making sure I was still with him on this journey. His lips curved into a warm smile when he saw the desire in me.
"Are you ready for your special treat, Gemma?" he asked softly, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down my spine.
I nodded, unable to find words. The anticipation was almost unbearable - but in the best possible way. It felt like I was on the precipice of something incredible, something that would forever change me.
He smiled, and I could see the promise in his eyes. With a gentle hand, he guided me to lie down on a soft couch nearby. As I settled, he spread a large, cozy blanket over us, creating a cocoon of warmth and comfort.
His eyes never left mine as he slowly parted my legs, revealing the most intimate parts of myself to him. There was no shame, only a profound sense of trust and vulnerability that seemed to infuse everything between us.
Nicholas's gaze never wavered as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against my skin. "Are you ready for your gift?" he whispered, his voice like velvet.
I swallowed hard, unable to speak from the swell of emotion that welled within me. I knew what this moment meant - it was a declaration of something deeper than words could ever express.
Finally, I found my voice. "Y-yes, I'm ready," I croaked out, my voice barely a whisper.
A gentle smile curved his lips, and he rewarded me with a sweet, reassuring kiss on my forehead. Then, to my surprise, he started at my toes, kissing his way up my legs, sending shivers of delight coursing through me. His lips left a molten trail in their wake, and each kiss seemed to brand me as his own.
By the time he reached my inner thighs, I was trembling with need, every nerve ending on fire. I could feel the dampness between my legs, my body aching for his touch.
"S-sir," I whimpered, unable to contain my impatience any longer.
He chuckled, the vibrations of his laughter against my skin sending sparks flying. "Patience, Little One," he murmured, his breath teasingly warm against my folds. "The wait makes the reward all the sweeter, don't you think?"
I couldn't help but moan in response, my hips bucking upwards, silently pleading for more.
With painstaking slowness, Nicholas parted my swollen lips with his warm, strong fingers, and I cried out at the contact. He began to stroke my slick entrance, his movements hypnotic, almost mesmerizing. I could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter within me with each pass of his fingers.
"God, you're so wet for me," he groaned, his voice rough with desire. "You feel so good, like silk."
His words sent a fresh wave of arousal through me, and I whimpered, my fists clenching the sheets. I was so close - so, so close - to the edge of ecstasy.
"Sir, please," I begged, my voice barely recognizable.
"Patience, Little One," he repeated, but this time, there was a hint of grit in his voice, as if restraining himself was almost as torturous for him as it was for me.
Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Nicholas did the most unexpected thing. He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Look at me, Gemma," he commanded, his tone husky with lust. "I want to see those beautiful eyes when you come undone."
I forced my eyes open, the haze of desire clouding my vision. I locked gazes with him, and what I saw in his eyes took my breath away. Hunger, lust, but above all, love. His love for me shone through, fueling the fire burning inside of me.
"That's it, Little One," he purred, his fingers picking up the pace ever so slightly. "Give in to me."
It was like he flipped a switch within me, and I was hurtling over the edge of the precipice, my entire body alight with white- hot pleasure. My back arched, and a scream tore itself from my lips as wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over me. His name echoed in the room, and I was vaguely aware of him catching my cries with his mouth, his tongue lapping at my sensitive buds.
Finally, my climax subsided, and I collapsed onto the bed, panting and spent. Nicholas moved to lie next to me, his strong arms wrapping around my shaking form, pulling me tightly against his chest.
It was the best I’d ever felt.
As my orgasm subsided, Nicholas gently removed his fingers, bringing them to his lips, and tasted me. He groaned, and I couldn't help but blush.
"Delicious," he rasped, his eyes dark with lust. "And there's more where that came from, Little One. Much more."
I could only whimper in response, too lost in the afterglow of my orgasm to form coherent words.
Nicholas chuckled, his gaze softening. "Gemma. I have something to show you.”
“What?”
“Would you like to see my home?”
“I would.”
“Good. There’s so much to see.”