Chapter 13 Ember
EMBER
I sat curled on Nate's leather couch, my knees pulled to my chest, replaying the reporter's words for the hundredth time.
The cruelty had wormed its way under my skin, and no amount of reassurance from Nate had managed to dislodge it.
The man's voice still rang in my ears, dripping with contempt, and I felt the familiar creep of shame threatening to pull me under.
Exhaustion pressed down on me so heavy that keeping my eyes open required effort.
Whether it was the exhaustion of the day or just how badly the emotion of this situation was affecting me, I didn't know, but I had convinced myself it was that and nothing more, even when I knew my period was late.
I just couldn't let myself think that far ahead yet.
My mind couldn't handle the challenge of those suspicions on top of the rumor mill hounding us.
The doorbell rang and Nate got up to answer it.
He'd been hovering over me while sipping a cup of coffee, but his best efforts had failed to pull me out of my funk.
I felt bad for being so grumpy and inconsolable when he was trying so hard to comfort me.
I just didn't know how to snap out of it.
"Food's here," Nate said, setting the bags on the coffee table and unpacking them.
The sweet-savory smell of the curry made my mouth water but my stomach churn.
I watched him for a few seconds as he took out the plastic utensils and paper napkins before eventually caving in to my greater need for nourishment.
I forced myself to sit up straighter and accepted the plate he handed me.
I felt a bit out of place and uncomfortable in his space.
It wasn't mine.
I had no privacy to just curl up and sulk if I wanted to.
And it was kind and generous of him to offer me a spot to unwind here, though I doubted I'd ever feel at home in such an expensive home.
"Your place is so different from mine," I said, gesturing with my fork between bites. "My whole apartment could fit in this room." And I wasn't wrong. This old brownstone was easily three times the size of my apartment and I hadn’t seen it all yet.
Nate glanced around as if seeing his own home for the first time.
"I suppose it is. But your place feels like a home where a family lives comfortably. I barely spend any time here. It's…" He paused, looking thoughtful for a second. "Functional."
"Functional," I repeated, managing a small smile. "That's one way to describe perfection."
"No, Ember, it's not perfect." He set his fork on his plate and looked at me with a compassionate expression. "It's empty and cold." I swallowed hard when we made eye contact. I hadn’t meant to insult him. "But you make it feel more like home every time you visit."
His comment made me feel a little flustered, and I focused on the noodles I was pushing around my plate.
We lived in different worlds—literally. He had a huge, successful, very public career, and I was just starting out in life.
What his father said about our age difference had wormed its way into my conscience and made me start to rethink things.
Nate was charming and handsome, but he was wealthy and powerful. I was a nobody.
I had no money, no power, no true career yet, and definitely no fame.
We were as different as two people could be, but we found each other, and now we were stubbornly holding on to something that was burning us both.
And that was just the beginning of my troubles.
Nate needed someone to keep up with him and run alongside him.
All I did was act like extra baggage that was slowing him down.
If that other woman would've been named his Hearthkeeper, none of this news media mess would've sprung up.
His father wouldn’t hate him, and the committee would be pleased with him in every way.
Because Nate was an amazing man who deserved the recognition.
I was just… too young.
"Sometimes, I feel more like a distraction than a partner," I said quietly. "You have this whole life, this career, and I'm just the assistant who got pulled into this mess. I don't fit here, Nate."
A tinge of anger crossed his forehead in creases before he set his plate aside and moved to kneel in front of me.
His touch as he cradled my cheeks was so gentle, I almost broke down.
"Stop," he said, and then he kissed me. "You aren't a distraction to me. You're more important than that. In fact, if anything, this tradition has become a distraction to the things I want in my life."
"Like what?" I asked, almost choking on my food.
My body felt spread thin and stretched tight like a bowstring.
I wanted all of this to be over so I could calm down and relax.
"Like you, Ember. I want you in my life permanently, and I don’t think we're too different in age or in status or in any way.
This stopped being a fling weeks ago," he continued.
"I don't do flings. I don't let people into my home or my life unless they mean more than that. And you mean more than that."
"Nate—"
"I'm developing real feelings for you," he said, cutting me off. "This feels more like a relationship than anything I've had in years. Maybe ever. And I need to know if you feel the same."
My heart hammered against my ribs, and I felt the tears burning behind my eyes. "I do," I whispered. "I'm just… scared."
His eyes swept over my face and his grip on my cheeks tightened before he leaned in to kiss me softly. It was so tender yet so possessive all at once. I could hardly breathe.
"How do we even do this?" I asked as he pulled me against his chest in a hug.
"The whole committee is watching us. The whole town is judging us.
They made up their minds already at just the gossip started by some rude men who couldn't look past my age.
And when they find out the truth? That I'm really sleeping with you? What then?"
"Let them judge," he said, his arms tightening around me. "The whole world could burn down, and I'd still want you. And I'll never let them come between us and what we have, okay?"
Nate's forehead pressed against mine and he tilted his head enough to touch his lips to mine.
This time, I kissed him and felt the pinch of clinginess in my chest. I wanted to feel close to him to make this all go away, and nothing would satisfy me but that.
So I wrapped my arms around him and scooted toward the edge of the couch, kissing him harder.
Those kisses turned more passionate, deepening until his hand was fisted in my hair and my head was arched back, exposing the column of my neck to him.
Nate’s kisses left my lips, where his mouth trailed fire all the way to my collar bone.
I felt the chemistry rising between us, my body responding to the urgency in his touch.
My arms tightened around him, urging him to close the remaining distance.
“Ember, you drive me wild,” he murmured against my skin, his voice low and rough. “I lose control of myself around you."
I tugged at his shirt, with fumbling fingers until he helped me pull it off. His bare chest pressed against me, while I palmed the skin of his back.
Our kisses grew frantic as he slid onto the sofa, and I shifted to straddle his lap, feeling his arousal through his jeans.
“Can you just be inside me?” I whispered, grinding against him. “I just want to feel closer to you."
Little by little, the clothing came off, piling on the floor and the couch beside us as our kissing became more urgent.
When I slid from his lap to shove my jeans down, he took the moment to shed his, and as soon as I lowered myself back to his lap, he pushed into me, sinking with a grunt of satisfaction.
“God, you’re perfect,” he said, his eyes locked on mine.
“It’s incredible,” I replied, my voice breathy as I began to move.
My hips rocked against his, finding a rhythm that sent jolts of sensations through my body.
His hands gripped my waist, steadying me as we moved together.
I leaned forward, kissing him hard, my tongue exploring his mouth.
Every time he bottomed out I gasped a little and when he started thrusting upward in time with my hips rocking, I thought I'd lose it.
“Keep going like that,” he urged, his hands sliding up to cup my breasts. “You’re making me feel so good."
I moaned softly while he pinched and twisted my nipples, sending jolts through my body.
My pace quickened, driven by the building tension in my core.
His eyes darkened with desire, watching me as I rode him.
“Ember, wow,” he said, his voice strained with pleasure. “I love how you feel around me.”
I gripped his shoulders, my nails digging in slightly as the sensations built.
The friction was exquisite, each movement pushing me closer to the edge.
Possessive and hungry, he slid a hand up my back to tangle in my hair and fisted it tightly, making me groan as he pulled me down harder.
“Christ… harder,” I begged, now gasping. “I’m so close.”
Every thrust to meet my body was controlled and forceful. We were so in sync.
The intensity sent me spiraling, my body trembling as the orgasm hit.
My walls clenched, and my stomach tightened. I convulsed as he bit down on a nipple and praised me. "Good girl, Ember… Such a good girl."
His thumb pressed on my clit then light, and I shuddered as he took over entirely.
His hips began bucking into me, driving upward with a force that took my breath away.
I'd barely come down from my orgasm when I realized how close the next one was.
He gave me no time to recover, and the one building felt stronger still.
"God… oh, God," I mumbled and he sucked my neck hard. I dipped my chin so he couldn't leave a hickey, and his lips found mine again while he growled into my mouth.
"So close," he grunted, chasing his high, and I clenched as hard as I could while I felt my second climax cresting.
When it broke, I was a mess of groans and sobs, and Nate had blood dotting his shoulders while he blew his load, dumping hot, sticky juices into me until they drained from me onto his body.
I shuddered and sighed and pressed my forehead to his while the last few twitches carried me deeper into relaxation.
My mind felt clear for the first time in days… until the cramping started again.
It was dull at first, then sharper, and I winced despite myself.
My hands went to my belly and I laid my head on his shoulder to hide my grimace.
"You all right?" Nate asked, clearly aware that something was wrong with me.
"Just cramps," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'll be fine."
I knew I wasn't fine, though.
Every time this happened, horrible images of me miscarrying his baby flashed in my mind and made me irrational.
It'd be better if I just took a test and saw a doctor, but I was paralyzed with fear.
If someone saw me going into a clinic or OB's office…
"Ember—"
"I'm okay," I said quickly, though I was stuffing down anxiety like a binge eater at a buffet. "Do you have any pain reliever?"
"Of course," he said, and he helped me lie down on my side.
I watched him get up and slide his boxers back on, then he covered me with the couch throw and walked out of the room.
When he returned a moment later with a glass of water and two pills, I took them and swallowed them gratefully, then lay back down, curling onto my side.
The worry that had been gnawing at me all day roared back to life, only louder and more insistent this time.
The last time I was caught in the middle of a scandal, at least I only had to worry about myself.
Brad deserved every bit of humiliation he got, and when the school stripped him of some of his honors, it felt like the least they should've done.
Nate didn’t deserve any of this crap that was happening.
If I were pregnant, there would be no hiding it. By Christmas, I would be showing.
The thought made my chest tighten with panic.
"Let me rub your back," Nate offered, and the concern etched on his face tugged at my heartstrings.
As much as I wanted to curl up and ignore the world to do battle in my mind, I owed him at least that much.
I couldn’t explain what was going on in my head or in my body, but I didn't have to push him away while I fought it.
I nodded, unable to speak, and he began working his fingers along my spine in slow, soothing circles.
It should have comforted me and eased the tension coiled in my muscles, but all I could think about was the clock ticking down, the days passing, and the inescapable reality that if I was carrying his child, the entire town would know soon enough.
And there would be no escape from that.