Chapter 18 Nate
NATE
The hospital auditorium was packed with medical students, residents, and a handful of board members who'd come to hear my lecture on advances in pediatric cardiology.
I'd given variations of this talk dozens of times over the years, but today the words felt forced, my focus fractured by the woman sitting in the back row.
Ember had insisted on attending despite my suggestion that she take the afternoon off.
After my conference last week, she told me she felt obligated and today, she'd shown up wearing a loose sweater that seemed to swallow her frame.
But her face looked pale to me, a bit gaunt like she'd slept poorly for a few days.
Even from the podium, I could see the shadows beneath her eyes and fatigue pulling at her eyelids.
I pushed through the presentation, discussing what miraculous advances were taking place in the pediatric realm, but all I could do was think of her.
It was obvious she wasn't feeling well, and my fear was that the stress was getting to her.
She'd been painfully open with me about how the headlines and social gossip were affecting her, and I felt mostly to blame for it all.
When I reached the final slide and opened the floor for questions, I had to force myself to focus on the young resident asking about perinatal advancements and in-utero surgical techniques.
The answers seemed widely applauded and accepted, but I just wanted to be done with it all and move on.
The lecture ended to polite applause and I gathered my notes and stepped down from the podium, making my way through the crowd toward where Ember stood waiting near the exit.
She offered a fragile smile.
I wanted to take her into my arms, but with things so volatile, I knew better.
"You did great," she said as I reached her.
"You don't look well," said softly. "Have you eaten today? Are you sleeping well?"
"I'm fine, Nate."
"You're not fine. You're pale, you've lost weight, and you can barely keep your eyes open." I touched her elbow, guiding her into the hallway where we had more privacy. "I want you to see a doctor."
"I don't need a doctor."
"Ember, please. This isn't normal exhaustion. Something is wrong." I kept my voice low but I wasn’t going to back off it. "Let me make an appointment with one of the internists. Just a checkup to rule out anything serious."
"I said I'm fine." Her tone held an edge I rarely heard from her and her eyes were fiery.
It made me draw back for a second to consider how I was treating her. "Can we drop this?"
I wanted to insist that she stop being stubborn and let someone help her.
But the look in her eyes stopped me.
She didn't want me prying and I had no right.
I wasn't her father, nor her official partner.
"Alright," I said quietly. "But if you get worse, promise me you'll see someone."
"I promise."
We left through the main entrance, and I immediately regretted not using the staff exit.
A small crowd had gathered on the front steps, maybe fifteen people holding signs and shouting as we emerged into the afternoon sunlight.
I registered the words on the signs before I fully processed what we were walking into.
Lightkeeper or Lawbreaker?
Family Values Start with Real Families
Daddy Claus Needs a Nanny
Every one of their signs felt like a slap to the face.
This self-righteous group of citizens had taken it upon themselves to form a protest outside my pediatric talk simply to defame me.
There was no reason for this.
It had nothing to do with Ember or the Lightkeeper duties.
It was my job and I didn't appreciate their causing problems for me for no reason.
The reporters surged forward as we pushed past them, heading toward my car.
I had hoped to speak to Ember privately for a moment, but it appeared that wouldn’t happen.
Now I had no choice but to shuttle her away, making it look like I was whisking her off in my car for some private destination, just as the crowd's questions started hammering home their crude point.
"Dr. Bradley, are you proud of corrupting a woman young enough to be your daughter?"
"Ember, how much is he paying you to play house?"
"Does the committee know the Lightkeeper is a hypocrite?"
I wrapped my arm around Ember's shoulders and pushed through the crowd, ignoring the shouts and the cameras flashing on all sides.
She kept her head down, her body rigid with tension, and I felt rage building in my chest at the cruelty of strangers who knew nothing about us or our situation.
My car was parked in the staff lot fifty yards away.
The distance felt endless being accompanied by jeers and the clicks of camera shutters.
When we finally reached it, I opened the passenger door and helped Ember inside before circling to the driver's side.
The moment I pulled out of the lot, leaving the protesters behind, the tension in the car became suffocating.
Ember stared out the window without speaking, hands clenched in her lap, and I drove toward my brownstone without asking, knowing she needed somewhere safe to decompress.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I should have anticipated they'd be there. Should have used a different exit."
I turned onto the highway and kept glancing at her.
Her expression was so tight, I thought she was angry with me.
"It's not your fault," she mumbled.
"It feels that way." I ran a hand through my hair. "I could’ve gotten you out of all of this."
She shifted uncomfortably and loosened her coat. "Your father was right. I'm destroying your reputation just by existing in your life."
"My father is a bitter man who measures worth by impossible standards." I sighed and glanced at her again, noticing defeat on her face now. "Don't let his poison become your truth."
"Everyone sees me as a problem, Nate." I could hear the emotion in her voice. "Maybe they're right."
"They're not right." Nearing my exit, I flicked on my turn signal and merged while trying to figure out what to say.
"You're not a problem, Ember. You're an incredible woman." It was fine when they were targeting me, but now they were going after her and it was killing me.
"Why?" she whimpered as I turned off the exit onto my street. "Why are you willing to risk everything for me?"
"Because you're worth it." I didn’t even have to think about that answer. "When I'm with you, I’m happy. Isn't that enough?"
The words hung between us, more honest than I'd planned to be but impossible to take back.
Her eyes widened, tears spilling over and tracking down her cheeks.
"Nate." My name came out like a broken sob, and I let her think about what I said as I parked and walked around the car to open her door.
We walked inside, and I was grateful there weren't any reporters on my lawn today.
She told me about her chat with her landlord and how the reporters were harassing other tenants.
I almost asked her to just move in with me, and I would’ve if I knew it wouldn’t make things worse.
Inside, I helped her out of her coat and hung hers by mine, and as I went to the kitchen for a glass of water for her, she curled onto the couch in a ball, making her oversized sweater look even baggier.
She looked pitiful and tiny, and all I wanted to do was comfort her.
I set the water on the coffee table, but as soon as I sat down next to her, she climbed onto my lap.
All I could do was wrap my arms around her and hold her.
"I'm scared, Nate."
"About what, love? I'm here…"
"Everything. Anything… I want all of this to stop. I don't feel comfortable leaving my house anymore." She sniffled, and I could tell she'd been fighting back tears.
I pressed a kiss to her temple.
"Its' alright, Ember. I promise, we're going to fix this. It won't always be like this, okay?"
She turned, claiming a kiss from me, and then bit my lower lip. "Can you just remind me why I got myself into this mess with you?"
I chuckled. "You want me to boss you around and pin you down to my desk?" I smiled and watched her lip rise at the corner.
"As long as you make me feel good so I forget everything and feel something other than anxiety…" She batted her eyelashes and I kissed her again, deeper this time.
I kissed Ember with a ferocity that burned away everything else.
My hands slid under her sweater, found her warm skin, and pulled her close against me on the couch.
She kissed me back, her lips fierce and soft, as if we could carve out a world just for us.
The connection felt raw but real. I didn't care what anyone else said.
She was made for me.
“Mmm," she moaned, "right here on the couch?"
"Why not? It's just us…" I kissed her again, deeper, as I started to undress her.
I tugged her sweater over her head then tossed it aside to admire her full breasts bulging out of her bra, urging me to bite one.
My hands followed the curve of her waist, and she leaned into me to allow me the pleasure.
My teeth raked over her skin as my fingers found the hook and undid it, letting the bra slip away to the floor.
Growling against her pulse point, I cupped her breasts, thumbs teasing her nipples until they hardened.
She moaned softly and arched toward me and began working the buttons of my shirt too.
It was all I could do not to throw her down and ravish her when her fingers met my chest and spread my shirt open.
But I reminded myself to be patient and worship her. She deserved it.
“Stand up for a second," I urged her.
She rose, and I pulled her pants and underwear down, leaving her bare in front of me.
For a moment I admired her as I slipped my dick out and stroked myself, but she looked slightly embarrassed.
I stripped off my clothes in moments, and lay down before I guided her hips to straddle my face. "Sit," I ordered, and she snickered.
"Seriously?" she asked, hiding her embarrassment behind her palms.
"Yes, I'm serious. Let me devour you," I said again, patting my chest. "Sit."
She lowered herself, hands braced on the couch’s backrest, and gasped when my tongue met her skin.
Slow licks traced her folds as I tasted the moisture flowing out of her.