Chapter 29 Ember
EMBER
I thought the way my hands were shaking was due to the cold outside less than a week from Christmas, but now, shedding my coat at the doctor's office to Nate's capable hands, I knew it was nerves.
After everything we'd gone through for months, you'd have thought I'd be used to a bit of nervous tension, but the thought of seeing our baby for the first time on a computer screen had me jittery.
"You okay?" Nate asked as he draped my coat over his arm and nodded in the direction of the nurse who had called my name from the hallway.
"Just excited, I think?" I forced a smile, thankful that the morning sickness had almost abated entirely.
Between the anti-nausea meds, the dramatic decrease in stress levels, and finally breaking into my second trimester, I was feeling much better.
"Let's go see our boy," Nate said, winking.
He'd been joking about the sex of the baby for a few days, ever since I asked him to join me at today's appointment for the first sonogram.
Though, we both agreed that we wouldn’t find out the sex until I delivered.
"Funny," I said, rolling my eyes, but I followed him through the doorway and down the hall where the nurse parked us in an exam room.
Nate hovered over me after setting our things down, and I climbed onto the exam table and let my feet dangle.
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles before leaning down to kiss my cheek too.
"You're going to make an incredible mother, Ember."
I smiled, not sure what to say about that, because of all the things I knew I was good at and felt confidence in, mothering wasn't one of them.
Especially since my own mother lived so far away, and she had no clue I was even pregnant yet.
I hoped to surprise them at Christmas but every time we spoke, I nearly let it slip.
"Alright, Daddy Claus," I said, poking his belly mockingly to break some of my tension.
Nate had affectionately adopted the nickname now, and I sort of liked it.
He looked ready to respond to me when the door opened and Dr. Barga breezed in with a smile and one truly ugly Christmas sweater half covered by her lab coat.
"How's the happy family today?" she asked, pulling up her stool to the sonogram machine.
"We're good, thank you." I watched her don her gloves and prepare the machine. "I'm excited to see the baby."
"What about you, Dad?" she asked, glancing up at Nate, whose chest puffed out pridefully.
"As long as Momma is good, I’m good." He patted my knee reassuringly and then helped me lie back.
Ten minutes later, my belly was slathered in cold goop while Dr. Barga slid the paddle around, pausing every few minutes to take a picture and show us.
The rhythmic whir of the baby's fast heartbeat brought tears to my eyes and made it all feel so real.
I marveled, shedding a few tears, at how incredible technology was to allow me to see my unborn baby in such explicit detail.
"It looks like you," I whispered to Nate after seeing a little button nose.
"He'll be smart like you, though," he said, squeezing my hand, but I could see the tears in his eyes too.
"And we're still waiting to find out the sex when you deliver?" she asked with eyebrows high and the screen turned away from us momentarily.
I watched Nate's brow furrow and then he looked at me with a playful eyeroll.
"Yes, we're waiting, but I'm taking bets at work that it's a boy." He chuckled, and I swatted at him, though I did tell him if he won that betting pool, it meant I got a mani-pedi at thirty-nine weeks to make sure my fingers and toes were delivery-room ready.
When the sonogram was finished, Nate escorted me out with his hand in the small of my back.
It still felt odd being seen in public with our being intimately connected like this and not bracing for some nasty comment.
For the most part, people had started to talk about other things, though every now and then, we still heard a faint whisper or chuckle nearby.
But outside of those rare occurrences, life was showing me that things could return to normal without having to go to extreme measures.
"Want to go to the bakery with me? I heard they have gingerbread on sale right now." Nate stood by his car, waiting for my answer as he glanced up the street a block.
It was cold today, but not bitterly so, and I had a bit of extra energy after seeing the baby and being so excited.
So I wrapped my arm around his bicep and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Are you saying you'll buy me a cookie?"
"Two, in fact. Because Nathan Junior wants a cookie too." His hand rubbed my small baby bump as he guided me toward the bakery.
Inside, the entire place was decked out for Christmas.
Everything looked like a blizzard had hit, frosted glass and fake snow in display cases and string lights wrapped around every surface imaginable while the aromas of gingerbread and pumpkin flooded my senses the second we walked in.
It was sensual overload that had my mouth watering and my stomach growling instantly.
"You find a spot and I'll get some cookies for us," he said, nodding at a table in the corner of the seating area.
While I picked a seat and got comfortable, I felt my phone vibrating inside my coat pocket and pulled it out to see my mother's face on my screen.
I knew before I even answered that this would be the moment I spilled the beans about the baby, and I answered anyway.
I was too happy today to avoid a conversation, and besides, I missed her.
"Hey, Mom, what's up?" I looked up at Nate, who caught my eye from the line and narrowed his eyes at me as if asking who I was talking to. "Mom" I mouthed as mom responded in my ear.
"Amber, honey, I miss you so much." Mom still called me by my given name, which was alright with me.
Now that life had settled down, I had considered changing my name back, but Nate insisted he loved me either way.
"Aw, I miss you too, Mom. I hate that I didn’t get to see you guys at Thanksgiving." I sighed deeply as I thought about everything that had happened in the past few weeks.
Hearthkeeper duties were officially done for the year now, though they had interrupted a lot of important moments I always held dear about the holiday season.
"Well, that's why I'm calling, dear. Dad and I booked out flights, and guess what?"
Mom sounded so excited, I felt confused.
We'd made plans for her to visit, so that wasn't the surprise. I honestly didn't know what to guess. "I'm never good at this game. Just tell me."
"We are going to stay for four days! I'm so excited."
I smiled at Nate as he appeared with cookies and warm milk and sat down next to me. "That's great, Mom."
He set the cookies in front of me and counted them off on his fingers, and I noticed one was a gingerbread woman and the other was a gingerbread elf, which made me roll my eyes at him again. "I have my own little surprise for you too."
"What's that, honey?"
"Well, remember how I told you I'm dating someone?" I hadn't shared explicit details yet, but I had told her a week ago that Nate and I had been dating since July.
"I, uh…" I met Nate's gaze as he took a bite of his cookie and knew the moment felt right. "I'm pregnant, Mom. You'll be a grandma by next Christmas."
"Oh, my gosh! Amber, that's so exciting!" she gushed, then more quietly, "Dear, Amber's having a baby! Oh gosh. Oh, my gosh…"
Then her excitement devolved into tears, which drew my father to the phone for a congratulatory chat briefly before I insisted I had to eat my cookies before they got cold.
Making the happy announcement felt so good, I almost wanted to call Amelia and tell her too, but my time with Nate was still precious to me.
He had a few more days to work before his holiday break and I wanted to soak up every second of it.
"They're happy?" he asked after I put my phone away.
"Thrilled." I chuckled. "And Dad wants to name the baby Elwood, so you have a fight on your hands." I nibbled the gingerbread at first but ended up devouring one whole cookie in only two bites as I realized how hungry I was.
"Nathan Elwood… I like the ring of that," Nate said, but I laughed it off.
If these were the worst of my concerns now, then life was good and I could finally relax and let my guard down.
Nate and I had endured the worst storm and we'd come out the other side stronger for it.
I didn't know exactly what the future held, but I knew I could survive it with Nate.
"Ember," he said, looking serious for a second, "I think we need to prepare the brownstone for a baby… Don’t you think?"
"Yes, well, we need to childproof things, but an infant won't move around much yet. Probably more than a year before—"
"I mean a nursery and crib. We'll need paint and carpet." He sipped his warm milk thoughtfully and smiled when I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I'll put a nursery at my place." I cocked my head at him, and he bobbed one shoulder up and down.
"I thought you could move in now. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? I'll care for you and the baby and you can just be barefoot and pregnant?" One eyebrow rose in a playfully suggestive manner, and I laughed so hard, I snorted.
But he was being serious at the same time, and it was a huge step.
I had stayed with him to ride out the chaos, but what he was suggesting was the next step in our relationship, which we both knew was inevitable.
I just didn't realize it would come this quickly.
"You're serious?"
"Dead serious," he said, taking my hand. "Move in with me, Ember. Let's be a real family."