Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
In which a massage leads to a deep conversation, which leads to me discovering who I really am deep inside…and who I want Ocean to be.
I woke with a groan, every muscle in my body screaming in protest as I tried to roll over. The bed that had felt like a cloud before did nothing to alleviate my discomfort.
“Fuck.” I winced as I finally managed to sit up. My arms felt like overcooked spaghetti, my abs were on fire, and my legs… Christ, I didn’t even want to think about my legs. I’d expected to be sore, but this was a whole new level.
I heard a low chuckle and looked up to see Ocean leaning against the doorframe, all tousled blond hair and a knowing smirk. Even through my discomfort, my breath caught at the sight of him. How did he manage to look so damn good first thing in the morning?
“Feeling your muscles, baby?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement and something softer. He padded over to the bed, his movements fluid and graceful. I envied his ease of motion.
“Just a bit,” I admitted through gritted teeth. “Including ones I never knew I had. I didn’t realize surfing was such a full-body workout.”
Ocean sat on the edge of the bed, his weight causing a slight dip in the mattress. He studied me intently, and I felt suddenly exposed under his gaze. Not physically—though we were both still naked—but emotionally. Like he could see right through my facade of toughness to the vulnerability beneath. Then again, he had from the start, hadn’t he?
He caressed my cheek, his gaze soft. “You know, it’s Saturday, so we don’t have any plans today. How about we make it a pamper day? Stay in, order room service, and I can give you a massage?”
My first instinct was to refuse. I didn’t take days off to be “pampered.” But as I opened my mouth to decline, another jolt of pain shot through my shoulders, and I reconsidered. “That actually sounds nice. But are you sure? You don’t have to waste your day taking care of me. I’m sure you’d love to go surfing.”
Ocean’s smile widened, and he brushed a stray lock of hair from my forehead. The tender gesture sent a shiver down my spine that had nothing to do with muscle soreness. “Taking care of you isn’t a waste, baby. It’s a privilege.”
I swallowed hard, unsure how to respond to the depth of emotion in his voice. Part of me wanted to lean into his touch, to let myself be cared for in a way I hadn’t allowed in years. Another part—the one that had been hurt before and kept people at arm’s length—whispered this was dangerous, that I was setting myself up for heartbreak.
But looking into Ocean’s eyes, seeing the warmth and sincerity there, I found myself nodding. “Okay, a pamper day it is.”
The brilliant smile Ocean gave me in response was almost enough to make me forget my aching muscles. Almost.
He ordered room-service breakfast for us while I took a hot shower, which helped ease the worst muscle aches. When I came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my waist, he clicked his tongue. “Ditch the towel.”
“Excuse me?”
He gestured. “The towel. Lose it.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “You object to me wearing a towel?”
“I do. I like seeing you naked.”
He said it completely casually, yet my cheeks grew warm. Why did this man have the ability to make me blush at my age? After everything I had seen and done in life, he could still make me feel like a virgin. And what was even stranger was that I liked it…and my first instinct was to obey.
I unwrapped the towel and dropped it on the floor. “That better?”
He took me in slowly, his eyes roaming my body. “Mmm, yes. Perfect.”
I snorted. “Perfect? You need glasses if you think this”—I pointed at myself—“is perfect. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but not anym?—”
His firm hand on my mouth cut me off, and he stood so close I could see every little fleck in his eyes. “When I tell you you’re perfect, you say ‘thank you.’ Don’t argue with me.”
When he looked at me like that, the last thing I wanted to do was argue. Hell, I had to fight the urge to sink to my knees and kiss his feet again, maybe work my way up and worship that beautiful cock. Even soft, it was a work of art.
He chuckled. “Someone is thinking dirty thoughts.”
Huh? How did he…? Oh. My own cock had responded to my thoughts and was at half-mast. Oops.
He removed his hand and kissed me lightly on my lips. “Maybe later, baby. You need some food first.”
My stomach growled as if agreeing with his words, and he grinned.
I held up my hands. “Fine. Can I at least wear clothes for breakfast?”
“Nah. I already set the AC higher so it should be nice and comfortable in here. No reason at all for you to wear anything.”
Aaaaand the blush was back. Funny how I had zero issues with him seeing me naked in bed or in the shower, but this somehow felt too private, too vulnerable. Not that I was gonna fight him on this. He wasn’t wrong that I needed food—not to mention coffee—and arguing would only waste our time.
A knock on the door sounded. “Room service.”
Ocean quickly wrapped a bathrobe around him and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him to shield me. A minute later, he opened the door again and gestured. “Breakfast is ready.”
He’d set it up on the coffee table instead of the dining table so we could lounge on the couch. He grabbed some of the wonderfully fluffy bath towels and spread those on the couch, and I gratefully lay down again. I had expected him to take a seat too, but instead, he sat on the floor next to me.
I frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Feeding you. Open up.”
Automatically, I opened my mouth when he held out a strawberry. The sweet juice burst onto my tongue, full of flavor. Any thought that he only wanted me to try some fruit disappeared when he kept hand-feeding me. First, some more strawberries, then pieces of an airy croissant, smoked salmon, melon, and other fruit. All while looking at me with so much softness and tenderness that I all but melted under his gaze.
“I could get used to this,” I quipped.
“You should. I like taking care of you.”
He did. He really did.
Once breakfast was done, we watched some TV to let it settle, as Ocean said.
“Time for your massage,” he then announced.
Yes, please. I dragged myself off the couch and onto the bed in the second bedroom, which was a bit higher than the king-size one in the main. Ocean had dimmed the lights, casting the room in a soft golden glow that reminded me of sunset. He’d also put down more towels on the bed, and much to my surprise, I spotted a little bottle of massage oil on the nightstand.
“When did you get that?” I asked.
“I asked Mike yesterday to get me some, and I grabbed it when we got back from dinner.”
That meant he’d… “You planned for a pamper day yesterday?”
He shrugged. “I knew you were gonna be sore, so I wanted to be prepared.”
That man. Would he ever cease to amaze me with his care? “Thank you.”
His smile made a thousand butterflies take wing inside me. “You’re welcome, baby. Now, lie down for me. Let’s see if we can help your muscles relax a bit.”
He dripped some oil on my back. “Try to relax, okay?”
I closed my eyes as his hands landed on my shoulders, warm and gentle. His fingers worked magic, kneading the knots with the perfect amount of pressure. A groan escaped me, and when he hit a particularly tight spot in my neck, a sinful moan.
His low chuckle vibrated through me.
As he worked, my mind drifted. Why did it feel so good to let Ocean take control? I’d always prided myself on my independence, on never needing anyone. But this felt right in a way I couldn’t explain.
I melted under Ocean’s touch, my muscles relaxing one by one until I felt all weak and molten. At some point, I drifted off, not quite asleep but not fully conscious. Ocean had moved on to my legs, gently loosening the cramped spots in my thighs and calves.
When he was done, I stayed where I was, in that glorious state between awake and asleep, feeling warm and rosy. I vaguely registered him washing his hands, and then the bed dipped as he curled up next to me. His warm hand found my neck and he scratched me like one would pet a kitten. I all but purred, seeking his touch.
“Mmm, good boy,” Cash said, and inside me, something unfolded, untangled, unfurled. It spread wide, this warmth, this deep sense of pleasure, euphoria almost. Like those two words had unlocked something I hadn’t been aware of. Or something I had forgotten, had pushed down, too ashamed to ever let it see the light of day again.
My eyes flew open, staring straight into Ocean’s. His face was maybe two inches from mine and he was watching me closely, as usual. “You like it when I call you that,” he said softly. “Good boy. You like that.”
“I shouldn’t. It’s…” I swallowed. “I shouldn’t.”
“Why not? I’m serious, Cash. What’s wrong with it?”
What was wrong with it? Everything. I was older than him, old enough to be his father, for fuck’s sake. I was a successful businessman, one who commanded boardrooms. How was it okay to want this? To crave this?
I closed my eyes again as thoughts collided inside my head. It was wrong, but it felt so right. My brain said I shouldn’t want this, but my heart pleaded there was no shame in submitting, in surrendering.
The rational part of me insisted I should be ashamed, but when I allowed myself to feel, that shame vaporized and a sense of rightness took over. I wanted this. I wanted Ocean to call me a good boy. His good boy.
“I’m so conflicted,” I finally whispered, opening my eyes again to find Ocean looking at me with an intensity that made my breath catch.
“I know.”
He didn’t try to convince me, and somehow, that made me love him even more. Because I was in love with him. Deeply, madly, completely in love with him in a way that would leave me picking up the pieces of my shattered heart if he ever left me.
And it was that love that gave me the courage to ask, “What is it you want from me? From us? From our relationship, I mean. How do you see it?”
“I want to take care of you in every way imaginable, in every practical detail.”
I swallowed. “You’re talking about way more than me being s-submissive in the bedroom.”
“Yes.”
Ocean reached out, his fingers brushing my cheek. “I want to challenge you, support you, help you grow. This isn’t about sex for me, Cash. It’s about building something deeper, something that nourishes both of us.”
I leaned into his touch, my mind reeling. His vision of our relationship was both thrilling and terrifying. “Like a twenty-four-hour thing?”
He hesitated. “Not in your job. It’s more of an at-home thing. A when-we’re-together thing.”
My heart raced at his words. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, and next to me, Ocean did the same. “But the age difference,” I protested weakly, even as I felt myself being pulled in by his words. “I’m so much older than you.”
Ocean’s thumb traced my jawline. “Age is a number, Cash. What matters is how we feel, how we connect. I see a man who’s strong, successful, but also vulnerable and in need of care. And I want to be the one to provide that care.”
His words resonated deep within me, striking a chord I hadn’t known existed. I felt a connection to Ocean’s vision, a yearning for what he described. But doubt still gnawed at me.
“I don’t know if I can let go like that. I’ve always been in control. Always had to be.”
Ocean’s smile was gentle. “That’s the beauty of it. When you’re with me, you don’t have to be in control all the time. You can let go, knowing I’ll catch you.”
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the emotions surging through me. Part of me wanted to run, to retreat to the safety of my carefully constructed walls. But a larger part wanted to dive headfirst into what Ocean was offering.
“I’m scared,” I confessed, opening my eyes to meet his gaze.
“I know, baby boy.”
Baby boy. He’d never called me that before, but I liked it. Strike that. I loved it. It…it resonated with me, somehow. It fit how he took care of me, like a…
It struck me like lightning. “You want to be my Daddy ,” I said slowly, the word foreign on my lips.
Next to me, Ocean tensed. “Yes.”
It all made sense now, like the last piece of a puzzle had finally been found. “D-did you know this? Before you met me, I mean?”
“That I was a Daddy?”
I nodded.
“No. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, Cash. I knew I was bossy and liked to take charge, and I’ve played around with the D/s dynamic, but not like this. This grew organically.”
He was being honest. I had zero doubt he was telling me the truth. “B-but you want this?”
Ocean’s eyes, those mesmerizing pools of blue-green, held mine steadily. “If you want it too, I’d be honored to be your Daddy, Cash. To take care of you, to help you let go.”
My mind was reeling. Daddy. The term echoed in my head, stirring something deep within me. It was shocking, taboo even, yet…it felt right. Like a key sliding into a lock I hadn’t known existed. “I’ve never thought of myself as a…boy.”
Ocean’s smile was gentle, understanding. “But you like it when I call you that. It’s not about age, Cash. It’s about letting someone else take the reins sometimes. About trusting someone to catch you when you fall.”
As I processed his words, I realized that was exactly what I wanted. What I’d always wanted, perhaps. To have someone strong enough, caring enough, to shoulder my burdens. To let me be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “I want to try. I want to explore this with you. But I’m not sure how to start, how to be a…boy.”
The smile that broke across Ocean’s face was like the sun emerging from behind storm clouds. He cupped my face in his hands, his touch reverent. “My beautiful boy,” he murmured, and something inside me melted. “We’ll figure it out together, step by step. No pressure, no expectations.”
“Can we just be here for a moment?” I asked, reaching for him.
Ocean’s arms enveloped me, strong and secure, as we tumbled backward onto the bed. “Of course, baby. We’ve got all the time in the world.”
I nestled my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was a soothing counterpoint to the tumultuous emotions swirling within me.
“I’ve never felt this way before. It’s like you cracked open something inside me that I didn’t even know was there.”
Ocean’s fingers carded through my hair, the gentle touch igniting sparks along my scalp. “That’s beautiful, baby boy. And a little scary too, I bet?”
I nodded against his chest. “Terrifying, actually. But in a good way, I think.”
“Like the moment before you drop into a big wave. That rush of adrenaline, knowing you’re about to experience something incredible.”
His surfing metaphors were beginning to grow on me. “Yeah, exactly like that.”
We lapsed into a comfortable silence, the connection between us deepening with each shared breath. I marveled at how safe I felt in his arms, how natural it was to let my guard down around him. “Ocean?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not ready to call you that yet. To call you Daddy.”
Ocean leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. “That’s okay. It’s not about the name or title or whatever it is. Just let me take care of you, and the rest will come when you’re ready. Or maybe not. Maybe we won’t have the kind of Daddy-boy relationship where you call me Daddy, and that’s okay too. There’s no pressure here, baby boy.”
Relief filled me, immediately followed by a rush of warmth. He’d been right about one thing.
I really, really liked it when he called me baby boy.