Chapter 5
Savannah
Sitting in the quiet comfort of Bram’s SUV felt completely different than it had two weeks ago. I didn’t have liquid courage in my veins encouraging me to step outside of my comfort zone. But after he removed a butt plug that had been lodged inside me, there wasn’t anything worse that he could do.
“Thank you for the pants. I’ll wash them and bring them back. And, um, thanks for offering to drive me home.” I finally broke the silence.
“You’re welcome, Savannah.” Bram glanced at me as he drove. “I hope my being your doctor today didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“Not in the way you might think. I’d like to explain, if you care to hear me out. Of course, you don’t have to. You don’t owe me anything,” I added quickly.
“I’m willing to listen. Everything I told you the other night was true. Even if you didn’t believe it.”
Watching his hands grip the steering wheel, I noticed the ink from his tattoos didn’t extend to his fingers, though I don’t know why I hadn't noticed that earlier.
I loved that he didn't adhere to outdated standards like not having tattoos in healthcare spaces. Ink didn’t make a difference in regards to your intelligence.
Looking at his tattoos gave me enough time to gather my thoughts.
“So, it’s all about me and being stuck in my head,” I said as I explained.
“That if I allow someone else to see all my broken pieces and start leaning on them, that one day I’ll go from rules and guidance to potentially silence again in a heartbeat.
” I rubbed my palms on his sweatpants to give me something to anchor to. “I’m sorry for oversharing.”
“I don’t hear you oversharing, little elf,” he said, as if he couldn’t help himself. Like the sweet and mischievous nickname from two weeks ago had always been on the tip of his tongue. “I hear pain in your words. Pain from being abandoned instead of being taken care of.”
“I didn’t think I had abandonment issues, but you’re right.
My Daddy abandoned me without so much as a glance in my direction when he left,” I said quietly, thinking about it.
It seemed like Bram did understand the heart of the matter.
Plus, it wasn’t great to live your life without ever loving again.
It would be silly to keep my heart intact rather than never taking another leap.
Bram pulled into my driveway and shut off the engine.
“A Dom who leaves their submissive abruptly without structure, closure, or care is not someone who lived the role. At least in my opinion. To me? It’s someone who lived for the title.
And doing those things to your Little as a Daddy? It’s unthinkable.”
He reached across the console, taking my hand in his and squeezing it tightly.
“No one’s ever said it quite like that,” I mumbled as my fingers traced over his.
“Well, I’m someone who knows the difference, Savannah.
I’m not offering to step into a role that someone else abandoned.
I’d like to give you structure, guidance, gentle touches, and a connection if you want it.
If you are willing to let your guard down a little and allow me to be that safe space for you?
Then I’m happy to explore that path with you. ”
“Today? I mean, it doesn’t have to be today. But I’m feeling raw and vulnerable and sore, and it’s not fair to ask… but if you aren’t busy…” I backpedaled. “Never mind.”
He turned and reached out, capturing my chin in his palm. “I’m here, Savannah. Use your words, sweetheart. What do you need today?”
Nodding, I bit down on my lip fighting the tears. It wasn’t the fear of a new connection. It wasn’t even the embarrassment of the most handsomest man on the planet removing a butt plug. No. It was everything that I’d been keeping inside, things I thought I’d purged, leaking out via my eyes.
Savvy is brave, I reminded myself.
It took courage to explore the dynamics I enjoyed, and even more when I didn’t have any caregiver. “You know how Everleigh called me Savvy? Um, in the exam room?”
“Yes, I heard her say that. Since this was our first official meeting, I didn’t want to overstep.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing once. “Do you have a Little side?”
“Yeah. Um. Like super very Little sometimes. Especially when I get too stressed. Like today and it’s not just today,” I babbled.
“I’m listening, little elf. Go on. Please know that I’m not judging you.”
“So, I call her Savvy. And today she really needs a Daddy to take care of her, and coddle her, and maybe remind her… remind me that it’s okay to lean on someone.
If you’re okay with that plan.” I closed my eyes tightly so I wouldn’t have to see the answer I dreaded on his features before he answered me.
It wasn’t right to ask, but I knew what I needed.
“Open your eyes, pretty girl. Look at me please.” He kissed my cheek.
Blinking my eyes open, I kept my gaze steady focusing on how lovely his ice-blue irises were as they stayed soft and warm on me. “Yes, Bram?”
“I have nothing pressing today. I have nowhere to be. I have nothing on my schedule. I can absolutely take care of you.”
Unable to form any sort of verbal reply, I gave him a thumbs-up with my free hand.
“Thank you for listening to what I’m saying.
My only ask is that you refer to me as Daddy or Sir during our time together.
You can use your colors, otherwise you’re going to leave Savannah at the door and let me take care of my Little girl.
The one who decided she’d rather be alone rather than risking her heart getting broken again.
I can’t promise that I’ll never upset you, but I’ll do my best not to do it on purpose.
But that aside? Let me be the Daddy you need today. ”
It wasn’t the promise of forever, but it was a promise he could keep for today. Finding my voice, I blurted out, “Um, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just run into the house and lock the door and never talk to you again.”
He smirked, his lip twitching as he did it. “Well, little elf, you are absolutely welcome to do that, but I let you push me away once. I’m not going to give you the chance to do it again. Not before we see where this can go.”
“I’m feeling very emotional, vulnerable, all icky inside here.” I motioned vaguely toward my belly. “And it’s not just the gallon of lube you squeezed up my butt.”
Bram rubbed his thumb across my mouth. “So, it was hardly a gallon, my dramatic little elf. But it is going to continue to push itself out of your body. If you need to be swaddled or anything else that helps you feel better, I’m okay with it.”
Glancing at his ridiculously large hands, wondering how he might handle my body in a younger space, I looked back into his eyes. “Even with onesies and diapers and stuff? Me sucking on a pacifier? Maybe a bottle?”
“I don’t have many limits in general. As far as ageplay and Littlespace, there’s nothing that I can think of off the top of my head that would be considered a limit. If I find something, I’ll share, but we should be okay.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, I was telling you the truth, Savannah. I’ve been a Daddy many times. I very much enjoy it, and I’d love to explore with you. But I do need your consent, or your implied consent if nothing else.”
“I have a room, um, it’s in the back of the house down a small set of steps.
I converted the porch and den into… my special place.
I have overstuffed chairs, a wardrobe closet, some very custom furniture pieces…
and spots to relax. Color. Dream. Craft.
Rest. It’s sort of magical. I let my friends see it but I haven’t let anyone else…
not since my ex-boyfriend used to. But as I said earlier, he sort of stopped being really into it a while ago.
I accepted the bare minimum because I was too afraid to let go.
” I blew out several breaths. At least I’d laid it all out on the table.
If anything, Bram’s eyes softened more. He wasn’t judging me.
“Do I have your consent to handle you the way I believe you need to be taken care of today, Savvy?”
I nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl,” he said, smiling as he unbuckled my seat belt. “We’re going to get you relaxed and taken care of.”
I showed Bram my special room and he lifted me onto my elaborate changing table. “I have a soft pastel-green onesie that always soothes me quicker than anything else.”
He cupped my cheek for a moment then strode into my wardrobe. Returning with the onesie along with a pair of darker-green pajama pants, he paused to grab a diaper and held it up questioningly.
“Would you like to wear this underneath your outfit? If nothing else, it’s practical.”
Giving him a thumbs-up, I relaxed and laid back on the cushion. He took his time carefully dressing me. I let my insecurities, the ones that kept popping into my thoughts fade away. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“You don’t have to thank me, little elf.
But you’re very welcome.” He gathered me into his arms, lifting me against his chest. I wrapped my legs around him and Bram carried me to the couch.
Wrapping my favorite blankets around me, he set me down and turned on a Christmas cartoon.
It had been on my to-be-watched list, probably put there by one of my friends, but I was definitely in the spirit.
Anything to forget about the embarrassment of my visit to the clinic.
“This is what I needed. I’m not glad about the circumstances that brought us together, obviously, but I think it was a blessing in disguise,” I muttered.
“No, sweetheart. I’m not thrilled that you needed to see me at work. But I agree with you. Sometimes blessings come in strange packages.”
“Or via a Christmas tree butt plug.”
Bram chuckled then held a pretty sparkly pacifier to my mouth.
He’d paid attention to the items I’d kept around my table, and thought to grab it for me.
I opened my mouth, immediately sucking on it.
The added sensation of having a comfort object lulled me into deeper relaxation.
I was wholly spoiled by simple care and consideration, but it meant a lot.
“I’ll go make us some lunch so that you can take your antibiotics.
You’re going to want to wait on the cream until tonight so that all the gel can expel before trying to add anything else there.
” He kissed my forehead and the bridge of my nose.
“If you need something, Savvy? Call for me. Don’t get up unless it’s urgent. You should rest.”
My heart soared in my chest as I blinked at him and gave him another thumbs-up. Bram kissed the tip of it.
“Good girl. Don’t worry, your kitchen is set up a lot like mine. I’ll make us something delicious and come and get you when it’s ready.”
I waved as he strode out of my Little space, pausing to plug in the Christmas lights.
He leaned against the doorjamb, smiling at me before turning and walking up the steps toward my kitchen.
I didn’t realize that when my friends decorated my cottage, they’d also added holiday touches in here.
The lights added a warm glow to my already happy mood.
Sharing my Littlespace with another Daddy hadn’t crossed my mind. Certainly not when I’d been upset, but telling Bram about my deepest fears helped immensely. We still had more conversations to have regarding what we both needed and wanted in relationships to make sure we were on the same page.
The season had started with me in a yucky mood, one that I thought would last until at least the new year. But with the support from my friends I’d taken a huge leap out of my comfort zone. That leap landed me on the path toward an exciting new connection with the handsomest man I’d ever seen.
Bram offered to take care of my body and my needs, and he promised to explore with me as I found my new stride.
Letting go of my past hurts led me to my Viking Daddy and his strong, tattooed arms. If my heart could be thawed so quickly by a little holiday magic, then I had to believe that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
The End