2. Hailey
CHAPTER 2
hailey
I sit on the bed in my temporary bedroom waiting for the nail polish on my toes to dry, relaxing back on the stack of fluffy pillows to aimlessly scroll my phone. I’m grateful for the peace and quiet of my own space, even if I am living in someone else’s house. And not just anyone. Graham Colson—my dad’s close friend, a man who has known me since I was a kid, and my current boss. A better way to describe him? My dirty obsession.
I’ve always thought he was the sexiest of my dad’s friends and gravitated toward him. I grew up with Graham frequently hanging out at our house and had a major crush on him. His broad, muscular body, the salt-and-pepper hair that he got earlier than my dad, his beard that’s dusted with greys. He’s rugged but also put together in a way that makes my mouth water.
But, since I’ve moved in with him, living in this little bubble where we play house? That crush has turned into a full-blown obsession. He consumes my waking thoughts, meets me every night in my dreams until I’m writhing against my pillow, chasing an orgasm that I wish he was giving me. I think it’s safe to say I’ve got a little bit of a daddy kink. Not in the I want to call him daddy way, but in the older man who’s got his shit together way. Not that I would protest if he wanted me to call him daddy. I’d do anything for him.
I’ve always been a caretaker. Wanting to take care of everyone around me, making sure people felt loved and comfortable—it’s a huge reason I went to school to become a teacher, and why I love being a nanny. I enjoy feeling needed and find so much joy in being helpful.
Part of me is fully aware how fucked up my obsession is, and when my oldest sister, Hannah, suggested I nanny full-time for our town’s most eligible single dad, I thought I’d be able to keep my little crush at bay. Boy, was I seriously mistaken—especially now that I’ve willingly crossed into uncharted, forbidden territory where I’m very much playing with fire.
When I was scrolling on KissConnect, the new hookup app that is going wild right now, I wasn’t expecting to match with Graham. If you asked me yesterday if I thought he was on it, I would have laughed.
While I was scrolling out of sheer boredom, Graham’s profile came up as a match for me. At first, I didn’t believe it. Blaming it on a wine-induced, horny haze and that my brain was mistakenly conjuring up my biggest fantasy in the palm of my hand.
But after composing myself and taking a further look, there was no mistaking that the profile was very much that of the man of my dreams himself. In his photo, he was wearing a button-up navy flannel shirt, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows, the tattoos on his forearms a stark black contrast on his skin. A pair of worn-in jeans fit him in all the right places as he leaned his ass against a whiskey barrel outside the distillery, his legs crossed at the ankles, arms folded over his broad chest. He looked every bit the man I’ve been meeting in my fantasies every night since I discovered these new feelings.
PNW born and raised. Early 40s. Single dad. Looking for hookup only, no strings attached.
Blame it on the wine, blame it on my indulgent need for Graham to see me as more than just his best friend’s little girl—either way, I did the one thing I knew I shouldn’t. With my heart in my throat and shaky fingers, I ignored every single alarm bell going off in my head. I thought it would be innocent enough to swipe right on him. But my mind has been whirling ever since.
As we sat through dinner and a movie tonight, all I could think about was what would happen if Graham found out it was me. My profile is fairly private. I have no identifying marks, no visible tattoos, and my profile photo only shows my body—no face.
Mortification washes over me as I imagine the horror of him finding out. I’m clearly not his type, not that he seems to have one. The Aspen Ridge gossip mill says he hasn’t dated since becoming a dad, and if he has, he’s kept it discreet. Everyone has needs, and I would love nothing more than to be the person who meets those for him.
My caretaker traits are exacerbated when it comes to Graham. I see how hard he works at the distillery, how much he pours into being a father to Mila, and I want to do everything I can to take some of that weight off of him. I want to please him, make his life easier, and take care of him.
In every way.
But I’m just sweet Hailey in his eyes. Young, innocent Hailey. As much as I want him to, he doesn’t see me as a sexy, confident woman. He still looks at me with those soft dad eyes that say all I need to know—that I’m definitely not giving him a hard-on while flitting around his house.
I scroll through my friends’ photos on Instagram when a notification pops down from KissConnect. My stomach lurches, my wine sloshing over the rim of the glass as I jerk upright.
Graham.
Graham Colson.
My dad’s best friend.
My boss.
The man whose house I’m currently living in.
He accepted.
Me.
Granted, he has no idea it’s me.
My eyes trace over his gorgeous face, the salt-and-pepper strands of his hair and scruffy beard, the strong, bulging veins that run along his thick forearms. God, what would it be like to have those hands on me? To be wrapped up in those strong arms?
Could I really do this? Could I really show up and meet him? I contemplate every scenario that could make this crash and burn, and while every single one is a bright neon light flashing BAD IDEA, I shove all the noise to the back of my head. Isn’t this the time in my life when I should be young and reckless? This is my opportunity to convince Graham to see me as a woman, not the little girl he’s known for so long. We’ve gotta take chances right? Shoot our shot?
A pink notification drops in from the top, the KissConnect mailbox alerting me to a message. I quickly open it, already knowing who it’s from. With my heart in my throat, my fingers hover over the keyboard.
WhiskeyDad: Hi. I have to admit, I haven’t done this before but you’re absolutely beautiful and something is telling me that this could be fun
Holy fuck. What have I done? I worry my bottom lip, twisting, pulling, and biting it to death while I figure out what to say.
MakeMeYours: Hey. Don’t worry, I haven’t done this either. It’s usually not my vibe.
WhiskeyDad: Yeah? Blind leading the blind. This should be interesting.
MakeMeYours: ha ha. It can’t be that bad, right?
WhiskeyDad: Nah, I’ve got a good feeling about this
MakeMeYours: Same.
WhiskeyDad: Tell me about yourself
MakeMeYours: Hmm. I love life and trying new things. I think I’m pretty fun.
WhiskeyDad: Yeah? What kind of things are you up for trying?
My heart flutters at his flirty message. Holy shit, this is really happening. And he’s just upstairs.
MakeMeYours: Can’t say I really have any limits
WhiskeyDad: C’mon, everyone has limits.
MakeMeYours: Then what are yours?
WhiskeyDad: No anal for me
MakeMeYours: Wow. Putting it out there just like that huh?
WhiskeyDad: I shoot straight to the point, what can I say?
MakeMeYours: Well, anal is not a hard limit for me . . .
WhiskeyDad: That’s good to know. Have you done it before?
MakeMeYours: Does it matter?
WhiskeyDad: I guess not. In fact, let’s pretend you haven’t
MakeMeYours: I can do whatever you want me to do
WhiskeyDad: Get on your knees for me?
MakeMeYours: Greedily
WhiskeyDad: Fuck. You’re making me hard and I haven’t even met you yet
Holy shit. Is this really happening right now? My pussy throbs between my legs, already wet and wanting so badly to be filled by the man currently upstairs rock hard from talking to me. God, will he get himself off? The image of Graham laying on his bed, jerking himself off, imagining what it will be like hooking up with me is almost too much to bear. I hope like hell this doesn’t completely backfire on me.
MakeMeYours: How soon can you meet?
WhiskeyDad: Friday too soon for you?
MakeMeYours: Friday is perfect.
WhiskeyDad: I’ll send you the details soon. Can’t wait.
MakeMeYours: Me too.
I quickly close out of the chat box, swiping the app closed and tossing my phone to the side. My fingers reach for the waistband of my sleep shorts, my hand finding its home between my legs, fingers easily slipping through my center. I come fast and hard to the image of Graham, his name on my lips as I unravel.
I lay there and pant, trying to catch my breath and letting the post-lust haze settle. This is either going to be the worst idea of my life or the absolute best. There is no in between. But I have to take the chance. I just hope it’s the latter.
* * *
The next day, butterflies fill my stomach, my heart firmly planted in my throat. I woke up this morning and thought the events were a wine dream. It wouldn’t be the first time my subconscious graced me with living out my deepest fantasy. One where Graham uses me as his personal plaything. Granted, that part was definitely a dream, but the parts where Graham agreed to meet with me to hook up? That most definitely happened. He just has no idea that the person he agreed to meet is his current live-in nanny. What a role model I am. For fuck’s sake, what have I done? Luckily, Graham had gone to work by the time I left my bedroom to wake up his daughter Mila and get her off to school. He may not know he was talking to me, but I do, and this morning, my nerves have definitely gotten the best of me.
My oldest sister Hannah’s fingers snap loudly in front of my face, pulling me out of my daydream.
“Yo! What is wrong with you? Where’d you just go?” she asks me as she pulls more ingredients out to whip up something in her bakery. Hannah is now the proud owner of our—once—family bakery and coffee shop. Bean Haven is a town staple, and out of the three of us Haven sisters, the only one who got the baking bug like our grandmother is Hannah. Our middle sister, Harlow, is a bit of a crotchety old lady, even if she’s still in her mid-twenties.
“Just lost in my head. I have a date tomorrow.”
“Hailey Haven! Look at you go! Back from college for a few months and already dating! Who is it?”
Shit. I walked right into that one. I can’t tell her the truth, she’d freak, even if she has kind of paved the way for us to be rebellious. She just married her lifelong best friend in an attempt to save Bean Haven from being sold by our wretched mother. That’s after being a young, unwed, single mother. Anything I do should still be considered a tier above her, lord knows our parents have put us against each other since we were kids.
“You know? I really don’t want to jinx it, so I’ll let you know if it goes somewhere.”
“No way, spill!” she pushes.
“Oh, will you look at the time?” I say, looking at my wrist filled with bangles and no watch. “Time to get errands done before I pick up Mila!” Hannah cocks her hip to the side, giving me a “this isn’t over” look.
With a wave of my fingers, I turn quickly to jet out the door of Bean Haven and step onto the cobblestone sidewalk of our tiny downtown. The spring air hits my bare skin, and with the heavy, overcast clouds, there’s a chill that pebbles my flesh into goosebumps. Thankfully, I wore my jean jacket, so it’s only my legs that will have to be chilly today. My booties clink on the stone as I walk up Main Street, the Washington wind a slow breeze, gusting over me.
The small town of Aspen Ridge sits on the Pacific Coast, snuggled right up against the Olympic Mountains. We’re secluded enough that our little piece of the world is hidden away and protected, but not so remote that we’re living scenes straight out of The Hills Have Eyes.
After being away for the last four years at college, I’m so grateful to be out of the city and back home. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone, is quiet, and the air is clean. Ever since I was a little girl, all I’ve wanted is to live here and have a family of my own—to be a mother and have a doting husband. Aspen Ridge is the dream place to raise a family.
I walk a few blocks up Main Street as my friends Lily and Emma emerge from Rogue Tattoo. Lily’s black hair is pulled up high in a tight bun, wisps escaping and framing her face. She’s wearing a pair of cut-off shorts, espadrille sandals that tie up her calves, and a white top that hangs off her shoulder. Emma’s head drops back in a laugh as she steps out the door, her blonde hair in loose waves, a maxi dress clinging to her in all the right places. Their eyes light up as they see me coming, and I don’t hold back my smile. It’s so good to be home.
“Hey, my girls! Trip to Reid, huh?”
Emma beams as Lily holds out her arm. In the most delicate script, which can only be the work of Aspen Ridge tattoo artist, Reid Knight, is the word “run.”
“You did not!” I laugh, my hand reaching out and grabbing her bicep.
“I so did! Think Wes will like it?”
“I think he’s going to lose his mind that you let someone else touch you!” I joke. Lily is married to our town’s mystery man—Wes Draven—who after his son dumped Lily last fall, kind of chased her down and got her to fall in love with him. It’s a wild story, but one that worked out happily for both of them.
“Alright, hussy, what did you get?” I ask Emma, raising my eyebrows and moving my hands to my hips. Clearly, it’s the day they both permanently commemorate the men in their lives. There’s no way she went with Lily and didn’t get anything herself.
“Since they each have my name across their knuckles, I got three tiny hearts, one for each of them.” She blushes as she holds out her wrist. Emma is in a relationship with three men. Individually and together. As in, they share her. Lily and I both about died when she told us. Only Emma could handle those three best friends.
“We’re starving, want to come get something to eat with us?”
“Heck yes, I’ve got time for a quick bite. I have to pick up Mila from school in a bit.”
“Perfect! Bean Haven or sandwiches from the deli?”
“I’m avoiding the third degree from my sister, so sandwiches sound amazing.”
With our arms looped through each other’s, we waltz down Main Street toward North Pass Market and Deli for some of the best sandwiches I’ve ever had.
“How’s being back in AR?” Lily asks after we place our orders.
“Amazing, actually. Happy to be out of my parents’ house, even if they were going to kick me out of it soon anyway once it goes up for sale.”
“That’s right! Heard about all the stuff that went down with Hannah from Kinsey.”
I cringe. My parents and my sister Hannah recently had a huge blowup. Just like my sister Harlow, our mom tends to go way overboard and lacks serious boundaries. The two of them just made my sister’s life hell for a bit.
“Yep. Worked out for her, glad she got her head out of her ass and realized what was right in front of her.”
“No kidding. I bet Lo was just jealous. She’s been crushing on those Hayes boys forever and one by one they’ve been picked up. Sad to say, but I think that’s the only reason she’s friends with Kinsey. Wanted to get closer to her brothers. Only one man left! Wonder if she’ll try to sink her claws into Carter.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t think he’s ever been in a relationship though, and it’s going to take one seriously strong person to get that man to give up his playboy ways.”
“What about you? Got your eye on anyone?”
My heart flutters when Graham’s blue eyes, salt-and-pepper hair, and muscular body flash before me.
“Just because you two are all wifed up doesn’t mean I’m next!”
“Hey, I’m not wifed up!” Emma declares with a laugh. “Although, the three of them would probably argue that—they aren’t letting me go, legal paperwork or not.”
“Like you want them to, Em! You’re being tag-teamed by three gorgeous, athletic men.”
“Please! Compared to you and Father Wes? That man chases you around for fun, and based on the sticks I picked out of your hair and dirt all over you the other day, I’d say he does more than chase you.”
Listening to my girls talk about their sexcapades has me wishing I had my own stories to tell. I haven’t been with anyone in almost a year, and even then, it was with fumbling college students who couldn’t figure out their way around a woman’s body—and one of them was pre-med. Maybe I should head back to Reid and get a pelvis tattoo that says “CLIT HERE” with some arrows.
An image appears of Graham between my legs, expertly giving me exactly what I need, and my panties immediately dampen. That man looks like he knows a thing or two about how to bring a woman pleasure. And then some. And tomorrow, I hope to find out.
“Honestly, the dating game sucks. Wish someone would come along and give me what you guys have. I’ve been browsing KissConnect and let me tell you . . . what the fuck is happening out there?”
Lily chuckles. “Details! Let me see! We’ll find you someone.”
Pulling out my phone, I open the app and quickly make sure they can’t see my history before scrolling.
“Okay, here’s a good one. 45. His bio? I bite.”
The girls laugh while I roll my eyes.
“Okay, that may be a good time. Next!” Emma says.
I scroll to the next one. “38, looking for a girl to hold a leash . . . or wear one if that’s your thing. 41, 5’4”. Must do anal and like E.T. ”
“Oh dear god, no!” We all drop our heads back in laughter.
“No ma’am! Next!”
“Okay, okay. How about this? 43, if you’re a baddie then I’m your daddy. Ha ha. Do you think he knows Father Wes?”
That gets a good laugh from me and Emma while Lily rolls her eyes with a smile.
“Okay, so it’s slim pickings out there. But I’m not the only one who noticed a theme,” Emma states while I wait for the information I’m missing.
“Mhm. Our girl has an older man kink.”
Oh. That.
“You two should talk,” Lily adds as our order is called and we grab our food. The girls and I take a seat back at the picnic table outside of North Pass and eat our quick lunch, gossiping and soaking up the warm weather. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
“Homework done, Mila?”
“Yes! It’s getting so much easier. I really feel like the math is clicking!”
“I’m so proud of you, I knew you would get it! Want to help me make dinner? We’re having chicken parmesan with garlic bread.”
“Yes!”
With a smile on my face, I turn up the music from the Bluetooth speaker and pull out the ingredients for dinner with Mila by my side. She tells me a little about school but says she’s keeping the juicy details until dinner when her dad is home. I love how much this girl loves her dad. It shows the type of man he is and it’s so attractive to me. Before Mila showed up in his life, I never pictured Graham as a dad because he was just this Greek god of a man that I crushed on, but once I saw him holding a baby Mila, I knew all I wanted was to be a mom and marry a family man. Someone who would be just as obsessed with me as he is our children.
Nerves snake up my spine as the front door opens and closes, signaling Graham’s arrival home. I haven’t seen him all day and my mind is racing over how he’ll react when he finds out the truth. The girl living in his house helping care for his daughter. Shit. He’ll never see me as a woman capable of giving him everything he needs.
Mila jumps up from her spot at the bar, eager to see her dad as she races through the house and collides with his big body in the entryway. I lean against the wall, watching as the two embrace, Graham leaning over her, eyes closing as he inhales deeply, dropping a short kiss to the top of her head. He’s such a good dad and it’s such a sexy quality that my heart flutters behind my ribs, warmth spreading deep within my core. My ovaries need to calm the hell down.
Mila bounds back in my direction, and then I’m left to take all of him in. He’s wearing a pair of worn-in jeans and a plaid button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His salt-and-pepper hair is tousled as though he’s been carding his fingers through it. He bends down to take off his boots, doing a double take when his eyes meet mine, flashing with surprise as I give him a cheeky smile. God, he’s so handsome I could melt into a puddle right here on the floor.
“Hey, you, how was your day?” he questions.
“Pretty perfect, actually. How was yours?”
He stands to his full height, steps taking him closer to me as my heart loses its mind in my chest, butterflies taking flight in my stomach, warmth spreading throughout my veins.
“Let’s just say I’m glad to be home. Italian?”
My face drops slightly with those pesky nerves, and Graham doesn’t miss a beat. He studies me for a moment, head cocking to the side.
“I’m sorry if we eat it so much, I’m a decent cook but Italian is my favorite and the only food I’m good at making. I can practice some other dishes though if you’d like that.” Thanks, Mom, for a childhood of never being able to do a single thing right because my insecurities and fear of disappointing people are strong now.
His hands grasp the tops of my shoulders in what’s supposed to be a platonic touch but send shivers down my entire spine, an electric shock going through both of us as his piercing blues peer down on me.
“Hailey, that’s not what I meant at all. Do you know how happy it makes me to come home to dinner? I would never even expect you to cook, and the fact that you do? Hell, Hails, I’m so thankful. I’m sorry if I haven’t been telling you enough but having you here has made my life so much easier. You’re such a good girl, please don’t ever think otherwise. I’ll eat Italian every night for the rest of my life if you’re cooking it.”
My eyes slowly shutter closed as his words wash over me. You’re such a good girl . What I wouldn’t give for the opportunity to make him Italian food and be his good girl every night for the rest of our lives. If he only knew.
“Plus,” he says with a wink as his hands drop from my shoulders, “Italian is my favorite.”
I am so gone for this man.