22. Cecelia
Today wasn’t nearly as emotionally draining as the day before. I spent my day writing up reports and making phone calls tracking down resources for Hector’s parents. Not having to look them in their heartbroken eyes made a difference. A slight difference.
The entire situation was overwhelming, but having some distance, even a modicum of distance, made a difference. It was still emotionally hard, but by the end of my workday, I didn’t feel like I was going to dissolve into a puddle of tears.
I stopped for Chinese takeout on my commute home. I felt beat-up and sad. I didn’t realize how emotionally difficult this job would be. I parked in my assigned spot and gathered everything together. I really needed to get myself a couple of tote bags. My inability to carry everything was blatantly obvious for once. I had to accept that I only had two arms and two hands. With the bag containing my dinner hooked over my elbow and file folders precariously balanced in my grasp, I turned the corner and started climbing the stairs to my apartment. I needed a free hand for the railing.
I kept my eyes on the stairs in front of me for balance. I didn’t look up until I heard a familiar happy baby gurgling sound. I gripped the handrail tightly and looked up. I held my breath the entire time.
At the top of the stairs, in front of my door, stood Sterling. He held Georgie in her car seat. They were waiting for me. I let out my breath on a long exhale.
“Sterling?”
“Cecelia, you’re finally home,” he said with a chuckle.
“Finally? Yeah, that’s how it feels.” I started climbing again.
“I’d offer to take some of that for you, but I’m afraid you might drop something.” He backed up and let me unlock the door.
Once inside, I crossed to the kitchen and deposited everything in my arms onto the table. My heart was pounding with a fast, hard thudding that shook me to my toes. It was difficult to catch my breath, like I had been running a race. I was scared to turn around.
“Cecelia.” Sterling”s voice was low and soft against my ear. His hand was hot on my arm as he turned me into his chest.
“Cecelia,” he murmured again seconds before his lips were on mine.
I moaned into him. I wanted this, dreamed of this moment when we would be back together. The warmth that spread through my body seized up and crashed back in on itself. I pushed away from him.
“Sterling, no,” I whimpered. Stepping back from him was more than emotionally difficult. It was physically painful. “What are you doing here? You can’t be here.”
He gestured at Georgie, who was cooing and squirming in her car seat. “We missed you.”
I rushed over to her and removed her from the car seat. I hugged her to me as she grabbed my face and made soft sounds of recognition. She smelled like clean baby and powder.
“I missed you too, but you really shouldn’t be here,” I said as I sat on the floor, Georgie in my lap. If I held her, I wouldn’t feel the desperate urge to hold Sterling.
Sterling crouched down in front of me. He took Georgie’s little hand. “So much has happened in the few days since you’ve gone.” He directed his next words to Georgie, pitching his voice higher. “Haven’t they, Georgie? So much.”
She cooed and babbled.
“Did she just say Dada?”
Sterling laughed. “She did.” His smile was broad and full of pride. “And you should see this.”
He scooped Georgie out of my lap, setting her feet on the floor but holding her upright. He shifted his grip from around her ribs so that he was just holding her hands.
She stood on her own. She wobbled a bit, but she was standing up.
“She’s standing?”
Sterling shook his head. “She’s walking. Not very well. She took her first step a couple of days ago. She only takes one or two at a time, but…”
We both waited to see if she would take a step. Instead, she sat down on her bottom.
Sterling lifted his eyes from gazing on his ward, full of pride, up to mine. “You should have been there. Cecelia. The agency sent over this horrible woman. She’s supposed to be helping me find a nanny.”
He shook his head.
“You actually helped me. You made sure I knew how to care for Georgie. Now, the priority seems to have shifted. No one cares whether I know how to care for Georgie. No one cares that I want to keep her.”
I snapped my head up. “What?”
He was smiling. He held Georgie in his lap. They looked like they belonged together. The family resemblance was strong. If he adopted her, no one would ever doubt she was his daughter.
“Yeah, I’ve already decided. I’m keeping her.”
“But what about her bio-father?” I asked.
Sterling was quiet for a moment. He let out his breath and began adjusting Georgie’s clothing. He didn’t look up. “My sister, Argene, was a hot mess. I loved her dearly, but… when I learned of her passing and how she died, I wasn’t surprised. Saddened. It still makes me sad. She was a magical girl. She was able to reject how we were raised. She was a fairy child, if they were real. She did not want to be bogged down by the appropriate societal expectations my parents raised us with. Argene escaped to see the world. And to party. She chased musical festivals and raves. She followed party DJs across the Mediterranean. It wouldn’t surprise me if one of them was Georgie’s father. But…” He shrugged.
“I loved Argene, but I seriously doubt she had a clue who Georgie’s father really was. Your agency is never going to be able to locate him. And if they do, I am prepared to make it worth his financial while to sign over custody.”
“You really are going to fight for Georgie?” I asked.
“I fight when it’s important. Georgie is important.” His gaze locked with mine.
I felt the intensity of his conviction in my entire body. It was a thrum of energy, intense and magnetic. It pulled me to him. I rolled up onto my knees and leaned into him. It was my turn to kiss him.
He cupped the back of my neck and held me to him as our lips slid together, our tongues danced. The kiss felt full of righteous conviction. This kiss felt like he was telling me he wanted to keep me.
I was breathless when the kiss ended. Sterling still held me to him.
“We can’t… I can’t. Sterling, you shouldn’t even be here,” I whispered.
Burning started behind my eyes, and my sinuses stopped up. Damn it, I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want him to see how weak I was. I needed to have the same conviction he did. I eased away from him and onto my feet. I wiped at the tears that fell without my permission.
“If they find out you’re here, it’s my job. I can’t lose my job. I think they somehow found out about us, and that’s why they moved me.”
“How?” His voice was low, almost a growl. “How would they know about us?”
I shrugged and paced in a circle. “I wanted to call you so badly. My boss actually took my phone and erased your number from it. She didn’t trust me to do that myself. I went over all the training materials they gave me. And nowhere, nowhere in that information does it say that going to the zoo with you and Georgie was against protocol. It actually said observed outings are encouraged. It said I should make sure you know what you’re doing in different scenarios.”
“Well, the only scenario they are interested in right now is setting us up with a nanny,” Sterling said flatly.
“I mean, a nanny is a good idea. At some point, you are going to have to go back to work, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, my leave of absence will end, and I will need care for Georgie. But I’ve got weeks yet for that. But this Peggy Stanholt is pushing the nanny agenda.”
I spun around and stared at him. “Peggy? You got Peggy?” I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh.
“You know her?”
I nodded. “I’m pretty sure she’s the one who tattled on me about the zoo trip. I had done nothing wrong. She must have said something. Crap.” Panic welled up inside. “You need to leave. Sterling, you and Georgie can’t be here.”
“Cecelia,” he started.
“No, Sterling, I don’t want to get into trouble. And I don’t want to give them any excuse to take Georgie away from you.”
“They can’t take Georgie,” he said calmly and firmly.
I wasn’t calm, and I felt wobbly, not firm, in my conviction. I was scared and confused. I didn’t want to lose my job, but more importantly, I didn’t want Sterling to lose Georgie.
“You don’t have custody of her yet. You need to go, and you shouldn’t come back. Don’t come back.”