Chapter 3 #2
“Like I said, boss, you hate change, but I’ve got our girl sorted.” Honey crouched next to her bag, zipping it open. Today she had on a red, short tutu skirt with black tights underneath, black combat boots, and a black long-sleeved shirt with a red heart on the front.
She looked adorable.
And Angie noticed that Webb couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
Then her attention became fixed on the items that Honey was pulling out of her bag.
Holy. Heck.
Did she have a whole arsenal in there?
“Is that a grenade?” Angie whispered.
“Uh-huh.” Honey nodded “I packed everything in here myself. It’s a Kill the Fuckers bag. I came up with that name myself. I’m thinking of trademarking it.”
“With things stolen from my ammunitions room,” Ammo said, peering over everything. “That’s one of our few flame throwers!”
“I know. She’s a beauty.” Honey ran her hand over the flame thrower.
Angie hadn’t even been aware that those things were real.
“Don’t worry,” Honey told Ammo. “I’ve contacted my friend about getting us some more.”
“What friend?” Webb demanded.
“Are those silver bullets?” Zander asked, picking up a small box.
“Yeah, of course. What else is she going to use in the event of a werewolf attack? Or a zombie apocalypse?” Honey gave him an exasperated look.
As if Zander was the only one acting crazy.
Which, to be fair, normally he was.
“I do believe the flame thrower will be of more use during a zombie apocalypse,” Miles said solemnly.
Angie gaped at him. What was happening right now?
He slowly winked at her.
All right. Good to know that he hadn’t lost his mind.
Honey turned and pointed at Miles, looking fierce. Angie stiffened. What was she going to say?
“You’re a fucking genius,” she told Miles.
Angie just shook her head.
“What about if there’re vampires?” Eli asked.
Okay. She really couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. Eli was normally pretty grounded.
“Good question,” Zander said. “What if there is a vampire attack?”
“That’s what these are for.” Honey drew out two wooden stakes that were sharpened at one end. And a small bottle. “Stakes and holy water.”
“How did you get holy water?” Keira asked.
Really? That was the question she wanted to ask? How did Honey get holy water?
“Simple. I went into a church and I acquired it.”
Keira groaned. “Honey, you cannot steal from a church!”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t steal it. I acquired it. There’s a big difference.”
“There is zero difference.” Keira put her hands on her hips and glared at the other woman.
“You’re upset by this?” Zander asked Keira, looking bewildered. “But how else is she supposed to get holy water?”
“She’s not!” Keira explained.
“Then how will Angie protect herself from vampires?” Honey asked as she chewed some gum. “Although, you should be fine during the day and at night you could just stay inside, Angie.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Angie nodded. Made total sense.
“You got any weapons for, you know, actual people attacking her?” Ammo asked.
“Yes,” Zander said. “What have you got that she can use to protect herself against a common, everyday criminal?”
Were they really expecting that she’d need to use this stuff?
Had they all lost their minds?
At least Keira and Miles were looking at them all like they had. And she thought Webb, Ammo, and Eli were hiding their true thoughts.
Although Ammo just seemed sad at losing his flame thrower. She’d have to try and get it back to him. He was now holding it like a baby and . . . rocking it from side-to-side.
Definitely weird.
“I’ve got a handgun. A nice light one for you to use, Angie,” Honey told her. “And another one for the silver bullets. It’s a bit bigger and heavier, sorry.”
Wow. She actually did look sorry about that. Angie had lived with these guys for two years and she’d known they were all a bit crazy . . . but this was next level.
“And I’ve got a large carving knife, a fillet knife, and a pocketknife. Depending on what you want to do and where you are.”
“Fairly certain that Angie isn’t planning on filleting someone,” Miles said, looking ill.
Eli walked over and stood near him, letting the other man lean on him. Eli always took good care of Miles.
“You never know,” Honey said.
“It’s true.” Zander nodded solemnly.
“Wait,” Keira said suspiciously. “Are you all trying to scare her into coming back home?”
“No,” Zander said, looking confused. “Although I that I’d thought of that. Is it working?” He glanced over at Angie.
“No,” she told him hastily.
Although she was feeling rather unsure about all of this now. Even though she knew there were no such things as zombies and werewolves and vampires, she also knew that monsters existed.
What was she thinking? Could she really take care of herself?
“Hey, don’t worry, you got this,” Ammo said to her.
She hadn’t been aware that he’d been watching her. Shoot. Her stupid emotions were bleeding onto her face again.
“Remember, you’ve had plenty of self-defense lessons,” Ammo reassured her. “You know how to use a gun. You’ve got excellent security and if you need us we can be here in under fifteen minutes.”
Right. What was she thinking?
Nothing bad would happen.
She was going to live a quiet life, under the radar. Sure, there could be monsters lurking everywhere but that didn’t mean that she was necessarily in danger.
“Of course,” she said confidently. “I know that. I just didn’t realize that I had to be prepared for the zombie-vampire-werewolf apocalypse.”
“It always pays to be prepared,” Honey said, turning to her with a machine gun in her hands. “Now, do you know how to use this?”
Dear Lord.