Chapter 42
Like it?
That was a bit of an understatement.
She glanced at North, trying to judge his thoughts on the matter. But he was busy working.
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?” Jared asked firmly.
“Okay, Daddy,” she said.
“That’s my good girl.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” North asked.
She tensed.
“What?” Jared asked, staring over at North.
“To play in here?” North asked. “This is a work and punishment space. I just thought . . . maybe it would be better to have a play space?”
A play space?
“Really?” she breathed out. “Could I have that? I mean, I don’t have to. I don’t spend much time in Little space and I don’t need things. You guys have done so much for me. It’s fine.”
Shoot. She went from excited to anxious in the space of a minute.
She couldn’t believe North was the one to suggest it.
“I think a playroom is a good idea,” Jared said.
“That’s good, since I’ve already started arranging it. Follow me.” North got up and left the room.
Jared stood but instead of putting her on her feet, he set her on his hip.
To her shock, he carried her out of the room and up the stairs.
“Jared! You can’t carry me up the stairs.”
He stilled on the third step. “Excuse me? What do you call me?”
Oh, monkey butts.
“Daddy, you can’t carry me.”
“Why not?” he asked in a low voice.
“B-because I’m too big to be carried up the stairs.”
“You’re not big. You’re a little girl,” he told her as he started moving again. “My little girl.”
God, she loved hearing that.
North led them to what she figured had to be a cupboard. Had he put things in there for her? Or was he turning the cupboard into a play area?
But when he drew the cupboard door open, she saw a set of stairs.
“Good thinking,” Jared said to North.
“I occasionally have a good thought.”
Was he making a joke?
Hmm. It was difficult to tell with North.
“Are these secret stairs?” she asked.
“Yep,” Jared said as they started up them. “They lead to the attic.”
He stepped out into a huge area with surprisingly high ceilings in the middle, then lower ceiling where the window alcoves were.
The floors were wooden but with several big rugs. In one alcove there was a gorgeous rocking chair with a set of white drawers beside it. In another was a single bed with a white iron headboard and a lacy white bedspread.
There was another set of drawers by the bed.
Then there was a desk in a third alcove and a single chair facing the window in the last one.
“It’s obviously not finished yet,” North said. “I didn’t know if you wanted some sort of theme. What kind of toys you might like. I can move the things I purchased for you up here.”
“This is . . . this is more than enough,” she said as Jared set her down to explore.
It was then she started to see the small touches. There was a heart-shaped pink pillow on the bed and the blanket over the back of the rocking chair had small whales on it.
He might act like it was nothing, but North had put a lot of thought into this room.
There was even a set of whale stationery on the desk. A pen with a whale on the end and a pad with whales swimming along the top.
Yeah, he’d put thought into it.
For her.
Even though he wasn’t a Daddy. Wasn’t her Daddy.
He was still taking care of her. Without thinking, she turned and walked over to North, wrapping her arms around him.
He stiffened and didn’t return the hug. But that was okay. He didn’t have to hug her back. And she wouldn’t cling to him. Moving back, she smiled at him.
“Thank you.”
“You like it? Even though it’s not finished?” North asked.
“I really do. It’s so kind of you to do this for me.”
“It isn’t kind. I just thought it was something you needed.”
He might choose to think it wasn’t kind, but she knew better. And it wasn’t something she needed, but she very much appreciated it.
“I will bring up the other things. If you make me a list, I will get you anything else you need. And I’ll start looking at ways to take care of Antony.”
North left before she could say anything. She glanced over at Jared in worry. “Is it because I hugged him?”
“Yes,” Jared said.
Shit.
“But I think it’s a good thing. Sometimes, we need to be pushed out of our comfort zone. It’s healthy and North rarely allows that to happen. Now, do you like where everything is or shall we move it?” Jared asked.
“I like where most things are. The chair is in a weird place, though.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Why? Is it to look out at the view?” She walked over and sat on the chair. She couldn’t see anything but the sky.
“No,” he said as he laid his hand on the back of her neck. “It’s so Little girls can reflect on their naughty behavior. It’s a timeout chair.”
“Oh.” She jumped out of the chair and he removed his hand. “I won’t need it. I’m a good girl.”
“Of course you are,” he agreed. “But even good girls are naughty sometimes. In fact, there has been quite a lot of naughty behavior from you lately.”
“No, there hasn’t!”
“Hmm. Let’s see. Talking badly about yourself. Lying to Daddy. Those are both big no-nos. Oh, and trying to climb out the window, which is endangering yourself.”
“I wasn’t trying to climb out, I was just looking. And anyway, we haven’t talked about the rules.”
“Very true. Let’s get some rules sorted and written down.”
“There’s a whiteboard in one of these containers.” North walked in, holding two containers. “I’ll go get the clothes.”
“All right, sit on the rug, baby girl and we’ll get these done.” Jared led her to the rug and she sat with a pout.
“I think it’s pointless to have rules, Daddy,” she said.
She was kind of surprised by how easily she was slipping into Little headspace.
Maybe it was Jared’s supreme confidence in his ability to take care of her, to be her Daddy.
Or perhaps it was just because this was something she desperately wanted.
She wasn’t sure.
But she wasn’t going to keep second guessing it. Because all that meant was that she’d talk herself out of this.
Just relax.
“Everyone needs rules,” Jared told her. “Otherwise there would be anarchy.”
North walked in with piles of clothes in his hands.
“North, can you find something for Angie to play in? Maybe a onesie?” Jared asked casually as he found the whiteboard and sat down on the rocking chair to write on it. She moved over to the open container.
Hmm. There was a really cute tea set. Oh, and a doll. She’d never had a doll of her own. Every Christmas she’d asked for one, but she’d never gotten one.
Occasionally, she’d get given gifts from school or the local church. But never a doll.
This doll was dressed in a cute pale pink tutu skirt and white top and her hair was in braids.
Angie drew her out and touched her carefully. Then she set her aside, not wanting to hurt her.
“Do you not like her?” North asked. “I can find you a different one. Or do you not like to play with dolls?”
“You can’t replace her!” She crouched over her, protecting her from North.
Although he hadn’t actually moved. In fact, he was just staring at her strangely.
Right.
She was acting like a crazy person. She sat back on her haunches and stared up at him, then over to Jared.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?” Jared asked. “If you don’t like the doll, it’s fine. You can tell us.”
“But I do like her. I like her so much. She looks like me. I want to name her Miss Melanie.”
“Miss Melanie?” North asked. “Why Miss Melanie?”
“That was the name of one of my teachers. She didn’t like her last name so we called her Miss Melanie.
She was really nice to me. Once, I fell over and skinned my knee.
I didn’t cry or anything. I’d learned not to cry as that just annoyed my dad.
But she picked me up and hugged me. It was the first time I can remember anyone hugging me.
Then she cleaned it up and gave me a piece of candy. So I’m going to name her Miss Melanie.”
“All right then,” Jared said in a strangely hoarse tone. “We’ll call her Miss Melanie.”
Angie stared down at her with a smile. “I need to find somewhere safe to put her, though.”
“Why?” North asked.
“Because I don’t want to ruin her. Or get her damaged or anything. She might get dirty. If I put her on top of the drawers, do you think she’ll get dirty? Maybe I can get her a special container or something?
“Baby, you’re supposed to play with her,” Jared said.
“I can’t do that.” Miss Melanie was special.
Jared got down off the chair and sat on the floor. Then he reached over and picked Miss Melanie up. She tensed, hoping he didn’t hurt her or anything. But he was very careful.
“You’re not going to wreck her. She’s yours to play with. That’s what she’s here for.”
“If anything happens, we can get you a new one,” North offered.
She gasped, horrified at the idea. “You can’t replace Miss Melanie! She’s one of a kind.”
“She’s not, though. I saw more of them online for sale.”
“No, no, it wouldn’t be the same. She’s my very first doll. She’s special.”
“She’s your first doll?” Jared asked.
“I always wanted a doll. I asked every Christmas and every birthday but I never got one. And now I have one and I want to keep her safe. Plus, Northie bought her for me.”
“Northie?” North asked in a chocked sounding voice.
“Yes, Northie bought her, which I’m sure makes her extra special.” There was a funny note in Jared’s voice as well.
She hoped that the two of them weren’t coming down with the flu.
Gently, she brushed back Miss Melanie’s hair.
“I understand you want to keep her safe,” Jared said. “But don’t you think she also wants you to play with her? She might get lonely otherwise, locked away in a box.”
“Oh, I didn’t think about that.”
“And if anything happens. If she gets dirty or her clothes get wrecked, we can fix that, okay?” Jared said.
“Yeah, okay, Daddy. I guess it would be better to give her hugs. I don’t want her to not know what a hug feels like.”
“No, we don’t want that. And anytime that you need a hug, you know that you only have to tell Daddy, right? And I’ll be right there with the biggest hug.”
Setting Miss Melanie down, she threw her arms around him. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“I am not good at hugs,” North said suddenly.
She turned to look up at him. He held a blue and white striped onesie in his hand.
“That’s okay. I won’t hug you,” she said. “You don’t need to feel like you have to hug me.”
“But if Jared isn’t here and you need one, I shall give one to you.”
“Oh. Thank you, Northie.”
“But you cannot call me by that name,” he told her. “My name is North.”
Did that nickname annoy him? She smiled. For some reason, the idea of annoying North amused her. Maybe because it seemed like he never let much get to him.
“But I likes it. Don’t you likes it, Daddy?” she asked, letting more of her Little come out as she looked through the basket to see if there were any more clothes for Miss Melanie.
To her delight she found some more dresses and shoes and hats. Ooh, there were some pretty things here.
“Oh, yes,” Jared said. “I likes it.”
She grinned up at him, then over at North who was staring down at them both. This might be the most emotion she’d ever seen from him. He looked almost flummoxed.
“I will allow it. But only in private. Call me that in front of anyone else, and they’ll get a nice show of me spanking you.” He handed the onesie to Jared before leaving.
A pang of guilt hit her. “I didn’t upset him, did I?”
“No, if he was truly upset he’d say nothing at all. He’s fine. Although his threat was real. He really will spank you if you call him that in front of anyone else.”
Yeah, she didn’t think she should do that.
“Right, let’s get you dressed and then we can talk about these rules.”
She sighed and lay on her back on the rug, kicking her feet slightly. “I don’t want to talk about rules, Daddy! Rules are boring. I think that you should just let me do what I like.”
“Yeah, that’s not happening. You need rules so you know what you can and cannot do. Otherwise you might hurt yourself. Physically or emotionally. And I will not have you harmed in any way. You are mine to take care of. And that means I protect you. Even from yourself if necessary.”
Jeez.
How was she supposed to argue with that?
“All right, then maybe we should negotiate punishments,” she said as he started to draw off her pants. Hmm. She was just going to ignore him undressing her, she decided.
Except . . . would he see her scars?
No, he wasn’t behind her.
Maybe it would be a relief if he did. Then she wouldn’t have to push herself to tell him.
He slid the onesie onto her legs before sitting her up and pulling off her sweater and T-shirt. Then he fully dressed her.
Ooh, this was comfy. So soft and warm.
“Your feet and hands are still cold,” he said with a frown. “You need some of those onesies with the in-built hands and feet. I’ll check whether North turned up the heat.” He rubbed her hands and feet to warm them up. “I should exhume that fucker’s body. And beat on him.”
“That wouldn’t achieve much.”
“Would make me feel better.”