Chapter 45
Angie was spent.
Her confession to Jared about her scars last night had left her drained. And even though she’d slept well, she’d woken up feeling a bit off.
And she couldn’t pinpoint why.
Was it because he hadn’t asked to see the scars? Did she want that?
This morning, he’d teased her again, driving her higher and higher to the edge then pulling away.
The bastard.
But he hadn’t asked to see her scars and he’d let her shower and get dressed alone before coming to get her for breakfast.
They still seemed to think she couldn’t move up and down the stairs alone.
Ridiculous.
Or was she more upset over the fact that she hadn’t seen North in nearly twenty-four hours?
Where was he?
This wasn’t cool.
Suddenly, the door to the solarium where she’d been trying to do some yoga opened and North stepped in.
She moved around so she was sitting on her bottom. The yoga hadn’t really been working, anyway. “North! Where have you been?”
He raised an eyebrow as he ran his gaze over her. Almost like he was trying to memorize her. Or like he wanted to eat her.
“I’ve been looking into Rex’s disappearance.”
“Did you find anything?” she asked.
He frowned. “No.” He walked over to stand next to her mat and she stood.
What was going on with him? Why did he look so upset? Because he hadn’t found anything about Rex?
Or maybe because he’d learned she’d slept in Jared’s bed last night?
North was aware that she was looking at him warily.
“Something wrong?”
“What? No. Why?”
“Because you keep staring at me like you think I’m going to eat you.”
She flinched. “Sorry.”
Hell.
He’d been hoping that she might bite back at him. Instead, she was apologizing.
Something he despised.
“I don’t like you apologizing all the time.”
“Oh, um, sor . . . shit,” she muttered. “That’s a hard habit to stop.”
“Who taught you to do that?”
“Do what?”
“Apologize. Especially when you’re not at fault.”
She swallowed heavily. “I guess it started with my father, trying to appease him when he was off on one of his rants. And then it continued with Fergus.”
North nodded. “Well, I want you to stop it.”
“I don’t know if I can just stop,” she said.
“Try.”
She sucked in a breath. “Try? That’s your best advice? I should just try?”
“Yes. Try. And succeed. Now, tell me what is actually wrong. Why do you keep looking at me?”
She licked her lips, looking nervous. “It doesn’t matter.”
He sighed. This was his own fault. He knew he was unapproachable. It was something he deliberately did to keep people at bay. But if he wanted her to confide in him, he needed to find a way to get her to feel less scared of him.
“What happened to the girl who told me that I had hippo breath?”
Amusement lit up her face and her shoulders dropped. “I’m surprised you didn’t kill me.”
“I thought of it,” he replied. “You obviously have something to say. What is it?”
“I slept in Jared’s bed last night,” she blurted out.
“I know. I saw you guys when I got home.”
“You did? Was that late?”
“Not that late. You were still awake. You were telling him how you got those scars on your back.”
“You . . . you heard that?” she asked quietly, her shoulders hunching.
“Yes. I did. What’s wrong?”
“I just . . . you didn’t come in? To the bed? Is it because I was there? Or because of the scars?”
“Why would that be the reason? You think I don’t have scars? I have plenty.”
“These are ugly. Horrible. You heard how I got them?” she whispered.
He had to work hard not to clench his hands into fists. “Yes. That fucking bastard.”
There were no words to describe how much he hated Fergus Bartolli.
“Jared . . . he didn’t ask to see them.”
“Are you worried he thinks they’re ugly?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“He doesn’t. We both saw them the other day after your nightmare.”
“You . . . you did? Neither of you said anything!”
He shrugged. “I guess we were waiting for you to say something to us.”
“Oh. So why didn’t you come into bed with us? Because I was there? The other time we were in Jared’s bed you were gone before I woke up. Did you sleep with us the whole night or did I scare you off? I’m so sorry—”
“I don’t sleep with Jared,” he told her.
“You don’t?”
“No. I have insomnia. I barely sleep and if I do . . . I often have nightmares. That’s why I didn’t come into the bed last night and left the other night.”
“Good. I never want to do anything to come between the two of you.”
“Really? You don’t?” he murmured.
She grew bright red as she seemed to get his meaning.
“Jared told me his plan to get me used to you guys touching me,” she blurted out.
“Right.”
“Are you . . . are you going to do that to me too? Tease me until I want you so much that I . . . that I . . . ”
That she’d handle them touching her intimately without being afraid? That she’d be so out of her mind with arousal that Fergus wouldn’t even come into her brain?
That she’d crave their touch, come to expect it, only think of their touch as bringing pleasure and need?
He eyed her for a long moment. He could say no.
However, his life was on borrowed time. It always had been, but it now felt like the clock was speeding up. And he didn’t want to die without knowing what she tasted like. What she sounded like as she came.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” she repeated breathlessly.
“I’m on board with the plan.” He stepped toward her, forcing her to back up against the wall. “The question is whether you can handle me or whether you’ll run away scared.”
“Is that a challenge?” she asked.
“Hmm. A challenge. A warning. A promise. Aren’t they all the same thing?”
Angie shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
North placed his hands on the wall on either side of her head. Then he leaned in, his mouth close to hers.
“Do you think you can resist me? If I want you, then you’re going to be mine.”
“You guys just can’t keep claiming me. I am a person. I have a mind of my own.”
“Hmm. And what does this mind tell you?” He slid his leg between hers and then bent down slightly, grasping hold of her hips to move her so she was straddling him.
Her lips parted, pleasure filling her face.
“You like that, Angel?”
“Yes,” she breathed out.
“You need to stop doubting that I want you, understand? I know I am not the most expressive person, but I’m telling you now. I want you. And it’s not about Jared anymore. It’s also about me. You have a relationship with him. And you also have one with me.”
This was a stupid idea.
He should have kept his distance.
But that ship had sailed. And if he had a limited time left, then he wanted to spend it with the only two people to ever get under his skin.
“Please, North,” she begged. “Please.”
“Please what?” he asked as she rocked against him. “Please make you come?”
“Yes, yes,” she sobbed.
“Open your eyes and look at me.”
She stared at him, her breathing erratic and her pulse clearly racing. Leaning down, he kissed her. Hot and hard and full of need.
As he drew back, he saw something move across her face. It was barely visible but it was there and he knew he needed to slow things down.
So he stopped moving.
“Nooo,” she cried. “What are you doing?”
“You aren’t ready,” he told her.
Fuck. This was harder than he’d thought it would be.
“I am ready. I think I’m ready. I could be ready.”
Who was she trying to convince? Him or herself?
“No, you aren’t.”
“Well. I came to see what the two of you were doing and then I find this,” Jared said.
North turned his head to look at the other man as he leaned against the wall next to them, watching with that intense gaze.
North held her carefully. As though she was precious.
“She thinks she’s weird because she can’t come,” North explained to Jared who narrowed his gaze as he glanced down at him. “That she’s defective.”
“I am!”
“You are not,” Jared said firmly. “And I’m going to spank you if you say that again.”
North spun them so he had his back to the wall with her held against his chest.
“She also thinks her scars are ugly. I think you need to show her differently.”
What the fuck?
Shit. Had Jared made a mistake last night when she’d told him about the scars? Should he have asked to see them?
He’d just been so fucking furious after what she’d told him that he hadn’t wanted to upset her more.
“Is that true, baby girl?” Jared moved to her side so he could see her face.
But she had it buried in North’s chest. Reaching for her chin, he turned her to face him.
“Yes,” she said quietly. “They’re ugly and I thought that maybe you wouldn’t want to see them.”
Oh, they were going to change that mindset right now.
Moving behind her, he lifted up her exercise top to see them. Fuck. Each mark on her skin made him so mad. But he never wanted her to think that she was anything less than perfect.
He started kissing each one. After he’d kissed them, he ran his tongue over them until she started to relax in North’s arms.
Finally, he took her from the other man, holding her tight as North studied her scars.
“These aren’t ugly,” North told her. “They’re the signs of a fighter. A warrior.”
“They’re the signs of a survivor. We’re all survivors,” Jared said. “And all of your scars, inside and out, are a badge of honor. Wear them proudly, baby girl. Because we are so proud of you.”
She buried her face into his chest and he simply held her tight.
Every word was true.
She was a warrior.