Daddy’s Little Artist (The Lactin Brotherhood #28)

Chapter 1 Tae

TAE

“What’s wrong with me?”

I loved painting, tapping into my creative side and getting lost inside it.

There were times I’d be in total and complete Zen, only snapping out of it at the end of the day as my mind and body slowed down.

The hours just fly by when my muse takes over.

It’s like being in a dream state while working and I always surprised myself with how good the murals turned out.

Earbuds in, my mind cleared and the creative juices flowed.

The worries drifted away as soon as the brush laid its first stroke.

But today wasn’t one of those days.

I needed Daddy time. Stat!

He-he, I had always wanted to say that.

“Thought I’d find you in here,” Daddy said as he walked into the playroom. I swear he could read my mind and somehow always knew when life required my Daddy fix. “Still having trouble figuring out a theme?”

“Yeah.” I’d lost track of how much time I had spent sitting in the center of the empty room, envisioning my ideal play space. While I knew where the shelves and toys would go, the walls remained…blank, as did my mind. “Why is it so easy to do everyone else’s rooms but my own?”

“Well, because they tell you what they like, so you just go in and do your thing. Ever consider decorating your space in more than one theme?” Hmm, that was an idea I hadn’t considered, though that only further added to my lack of vision.

Ugh…

Daddy was kind and patient with me, never complained about my toy containers in the family room.

Probably because I always picked up after myself, but I knew it was important to him for me to have my own space just as much as it was for me.

I only wished I knew what I wanted to stare at for hours on end while my little side ran wild.

Lacking the therapeutic freedom that I felt while working emotionally drained me. Daddy was right though, which didn’t surprise me. It was much easier for the vision to come alive when you were told what they wanted you to draw from ahead of time. For myself, I had zero ideas.

Zip. Zilch. Nada.

With a heavy sigh, I gave up. At least for today. “Daddy, why are the paints being mean to me? I thought they were my friends.”

“Sweet boy,” Daddy crouched beside me and rubbed my curly curls, my little side loved when he did that, drawing it further out. “They’re not being mean to you, my love, you’re probably just overthinking it. When the right idea comes to you, you’ll know. Trust in your gifts, Tae.”

“I ‘spose.” My brain usually worked that way, but I was just so dang frustrated it got all huffy with me and wasn’t playing nice.

Daddy and I were always busy with work and when we finally got a day off, like today, I wanted to play and nap and have fun in my very own playroom and forget about everything else.

Curled up with my stuffies in a nest of pillows and blankies was a dream of mine, and one that sadly continued to wait to become a reality.

“Come on, sweet boy, lunch then naptime.”

Pfft, some artist I was. It would seriously suck if I never got my room done.

Daddy’s outstretched hand waited to help me up and tug me right into a big hug.

His arms were my safe space and always calmed my nerves and just made everything better.

What was even more perfect was when he held me tight while I curled up and nursed from him.

The repetitive sucking motion settled me down and filled my tummy and I drifted right off.

Both Daddy and I got relief from it, just in very different ways.

“Okay, Daddy. When is our next job?” I asked as I followed him into the kitchen.

Daddy kept track of all that kind of stuff.

I could only play grown-up for so long and the more Daddy took care of, the better off we both were.

He even made my website and added my business to his cards. One side for Daddy, one side for Tae.

I’d since added side projects for engraving leather and building playsets like I did for my friend Trevor.

That was fun, making him a farm and all the animals that went with it out of wood.

Well, daddy made the wood stuff, I just painted it.

When Trevor was done playing it all folded up into the barn and fit on his shelf.

“Well,” he slid a plate with a ham sammy and chips in front of me. “We’ve got a potential job to bid on this week. They want a couple of rooms in their house reconfigured and painted.”

“From the club?” Most of our jobs came from the club we belonged to.

“Yes. Why the heavy sigh, sweetheart?”

“I dunno,” I shrugged. “Was kinda hoping for a break after finishing Trevor’s room.

” Not that I didn’t enjoy doing his room, because I did.

The cute bumble bees and all the fun things I got to paint were so different from what the other littles usually wanted and the pale blue background we painted the walls first made the whole scene appear as though the sky had come inside.

Trevor’s room was like bringing the outside in and he was so excited when he saw it and the cute lady bugs I added to the pretty sunflowers made me smile.

My friend Brandon and I have had lots of playdates at Trevor’s house.

Trevor has a backyard jungle gym that’s better than the one at the park and we didn’t have to share it with a bunch of strangers either.

Daddy built it for him while I worked on painting the murals in his playroom.

But I wanted my friends to come to our house and share my toys and playroom with them.

Ugh, I was messing all of this up. Poor Daddy looked so confused.

“We have been rather busy, maybe a vacation is in order before we take on another job. Let Daddy check this one out and see if they can wait, then Daddy promises to whisk you away. Hopefully to somewhere with no cell phone service.” I giggled.

Daddy cursed at his phone sometimes and it was funny.

“There’s that smile I fell in love with. Come on, clean up then nap time.”

“With Daddy milky?”

“Always, my love.”

Daddy changed me into a pull-up and my favorite onesie with all different colored paint splotches on the front with the letters Daddy’s Little Artist across them.

I loved it so much. I remember the first time I wore a pull-up.

I wasn’t sure about it, but Daddy asked nicely if I would try it once.

It ended up being a good thing ‘cause I had an oopsie after drinking too much Daddy milk.

“Alright, up you go.” I scooched up the bed and watched as Daddy undressed and removed his binder. That thing did not look comfy to me at all. Poor Daddy.

“You’re super swollen, Daddy. You’d should’ve told me you needed help.” Daddy often forgot about Daddy’s needs and focused on his boy too much. “I’m a good helper.”

He kissed my forehead. “You’re the best helper but Daddy didn’t want to bother you while you had your thinky face on.” Daddy slid in beside me and tugged me against him. I nuzzled in, latched onto my Daddy milky and zoned out. “Sleep, Little One, think later and remember Daddy loves you.”

Daddy loves me.

“Daddy?” I woke up but he wasn’t there beside me. “Where are you?” I called out but got no answer. After I went potty, I was a good boy and didn’t go in my pull-up even though Daddy said I was a good boy when I did. I searched and searched but couldn’t find him. “Daddy?”

“In the office, sweetheart.” I ran down the stairs to his office. “No running in the house, Tae.” Busted.

“Working on our day off?” I curled up in his lap and glanced at the computer. “What’s that?”

“Not the jobs we get paid for, Sweet Boy,” He kissed me.

“So not technically working. I had an idea that woke me up. Hear me out,” usually when he said that it meant there was a chance I wouldn’t like what he had to say.

“How about we make a list of all the things that make you happy to help decide what to put on your playroom walls.”

“Hmm, why?” Daddy made me happy. Would it be weird to paint his face on the wall?

“Well, the way I see it is, your gift, at times such as this, can be a curse. You get overwhelmed and that beautiful mind of yours can’t focus on a single thing.

My idea was we make a list and you take a few minutes with each item on it and see if anything comes to you.

If it doesn’t, you cross it off and move onto the next one.

Go one by one instead of flooding your brain all at once. ”

I thought about it for a minute then my brain jumped to… “Do you remember the first time we met?” No clue why.

Daddy sighed and rubbed my back. “I do, though you are not that lost boy anymore. Or are you trying to tell me something?”

“No Daddy. For some reason it just popped into my head.” The last thing I wanted to do was remember what I’d been through and how Daddy helped turned mine and my brothers’ worlds around.

“Seventeen and fresh out of juvie. My counselor said I had to get a job, and you stepped up.” Daddy and Oscar were the only two employees at Ashwood Handyman Services back then and thanks to Daddy, I became the third one.

Daddy hired licensed tradesmen when he had to for special projects, but for the most part Oscar did the general fixes.

Daddy and Oscar worked bigger jobs together and sometimes I was their grunt.

For the most part, Daddy kept me on the paint jobs ‘cause I was really good at it.

Plus, it helped keep that itch under control.

“Your brother Oscar had worked for me for years and did a great job. How could I not help him and you both out. What’s brought all this on? It’s been years since then and you’re no longer that naughty boy.”

Seven, to be exact.

Even though those days were far behind me, the rage that flowed through my veins then was a feeling I’d never forget.

Fell in with the wrong crowd for attention.

It wasn’t Oscar’s fault he had to work two jobs to keep food on the table after our grandmother died, but at the time I couldn’t see past the anger.

So, the dumbasses causing all the problems were the ones I chose to hang out with and when they found out what I could do with a can of spray paint, well, I became their artistic scapegoat.

They used me and my gift to spread their message. When I was gone, so were they.

The words Tae Saavedra, you are under arrest, will forever haunt me.

First time I was caught tagging I got a slap on the wrist.

Second time, community service.

Third time I landed in juvie for six months.

My stupidity almost cost Oscar guardianship over not only myself, but our younger brother Samian.

Definitely didn’t set a good example for him even though Oscar had put everything on the line for us.

He was determined to keep our family together even though our parents never cared.

If our grandmother hadn’t taken us in, they were gonna split us up into separate foster homes.

That was fourteen years ago, and we haven’t heard from our parents since.

I’d never been so terrified in all my life.

I wasn’t a fighter like most of the kids in juvie were and they were constantly throwing punches.

I avoided confrontation but tagging brought out the true artist in me.

Problem was just like it still did now, I got lost in it and didn’t hear the cops pull up.

By the time they cuffed me all my so-called friends had disappeared.

Yeah, I got the attention I’d craved just not in the right way.

“Sweetheart, what’s really going on here?”

“I dunno.” I really didn’t, I just felt…blah.

“Hmm,” Daddy hummed. “We’ll revisit that later. For now, let’s work on your list. We know you love urban art,” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you roll your eyes at your Daddy,” he tapped my forehead then typed it in. “Cars and trucks?”

“To play with, but I don’t want them on the walls.” He crossed that one off.

“Farm animals?”

“Nope.”

“Stuffie brigade?”

“Nope.”

“Your name?”

“Nope.” Well, maybe, just not in the way Daddy was thinking.

“I’ve got it,” he typed in, “Castle, knight, unicorn.”

Hmm. “Take off the unicorn.”

His eyes widened. “You love unicorns.”

“I do but if I’m gonna do a knight scene it’ll be more realistic with jousting and stuff.” Too much work so… “Nope.”

Daddy pushed away from the desk and spun us around in the chair. My giggles filled the room, lightening my mood, then suddenly, he stopped. “I’ve got it.”

Was I ready for this?

“A castle with knights jousting and you can ‘tag’,” he air quoted the word, “your favorite things on the block wall of the castle.”

“Isn’t that the same thing as giving a sharpie to someone in a public restroom after telling them not to write on the stall walls?”

“Maybe, maybe not, but this might be the way for you to finally forgive yourself for that phase of your life.”

Smart Daddy, he always knows…

Maybe my struggle was personal after all. It was almost like deep down inside I didn’t believe I deserved this for myself and Daddy saw that, even when I didn’t.