Chapter 4
FOUR
DAGGER
The pounding bass fades behind me as I stumble out of Perdition's main room, my head a fucking mess. Too much whiskey. Too many thoughts of her.
Chloe.
She's been haunting me for months now, ever since she showed up at the clubhouse, all doe-eyed and lost. I can't get her outta my head no matter how hard I try. And damn, have I tried. I’ve fucked so many girls trying to erase the need I feel whenever I think about her. It’s no use.
The world spins around me. Fucking whiskey. I shake my head, trying to clear the alcohol-induced haze, but it's no use. Her face swims before me, those big green eyes pleading, tempting. I know I should stay the hell away from her. She's half my fucking age and too good for a guy like me. An outlaw. A killer. But fuck, the pull is too strong. I can feel it in my bones, this need for her. It's reckless and stupid, but when have I ever played it safe?
The music from the wedding pulses in the background, a reminder of the happiness I can never have. I look around me where shadows cloak the empty lot, but there, beneath the dim glow of the clubhouse lights, I see her. Chloe.
She's leaning against a wall, arms wrapped around herself like she's trying to hold the pieces together. The sight of her slams into me like a freight train, stealing my breath and setting my heart pounding. Christ, even now, she's beautiful. Vulnerable and fierce all at once, a walking contradiction that I can't resist.
I swallow hard, my feet carrying me towards her before I can think better of it. I should walk away, put as much distance between us as possible. I've never been good at doing what I should.
Chloe looks up as I approach, her eyes widening slightly. Surprise flashes across her face, chased by something else. Something that looks a hell of a lot like longing.
"Hey, darling." The words come out rougher than I intend, whiskey and desire rasping my voice. "What's a girl like you doing out here all alone?"
She straightens, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Just needed some air. It was getting to be a little too much in there."
I nod, understanding all too well. It's enough to make anyone want to run.
"Yeah, I get that." I step closer, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. "Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all."
Chloe tilts her head and crosses her arms over her chest, studying me with those big, green eyes that seem to see right through me. "Is that what you're doing out here, Dagger? Getting away?"
I chuckle, the sound dry and humorless. "Something like that."
Silence stretches between us, charged with all the things we're not saying. All the secrets and scars we carry, the jagged pieces that don't quite fit.
"I'm not good for you, Chloe." The confession slips out before I can stop it. "You deserve better than a man like me."
She takes a step forward, closing the distance between us. Her hand comes up to rest on my chest, right over my heart. "Maybe I don't want better. Maybe I just want you."
The words hang in the air, a challenge and a promise all at once. I stare down at her, my pulse thundering in my ears. Every instinct is screaming at me to run, to push her away before I ruin her. But I'm tired of running. Tired of pretending I don't feel this thing between us.
"Chloe..." Her name is a prayer and a curse on my lips. My hand comes up to cup her face, thumb brushing over the delicate curve of her cheekbone.
She leans into my touch, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When she opens them again, there's a fierce determination burning in their depths. "I'm not afraid of you, Dagger. Or the darkness inside you. I've got plenty of my own."
Something inside me cracks wide open at her words, a dam bursting free. I surge forward, capturing her lips with mine in a kiss that's all heat and hunger. She meets me halfway, her fingers tangling in my hair as she pulls me closer.
And for a moment, everything else fades away. The club, the expectations, the ghosts that haunt us both. All that exists is this. Her. Me. Us.
I break the kiss, my breath coming hard and fast. Chloe's eyes are dark with desire, her lips swollen and tempting. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to take her right here, consequences be damned.
But not like this. Not in the shadows of the clubhouse where anyone could stumble across us. She deserves better than a quick, drunken fuck.
"Come on," I rasp, lacing my fingers through hers. She follows without hesitation as I lead her into the clubhouse, our footsteps echoing through the deserted hallway.
My mind is a blur, thoughts scattering like leaves in a hurricane. I shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be dragging her into my mess of a life. But the feel of her hand in mine, the way she looks at me like I'm something more than the sum of my mistakes...it's a drug I can't resist.
We reach my room and I fumble with the key, my hands shaking with adrenaline and need. Finally, the lock clicks and I push the door open, pulling Chloe inside with me.
She barely has time to catch her breath before I'm on her again, backing her up against the wall as I claim her mouth in a searing kiss. Her hands slip beneath my cut, nails raking down my back in a delicious sting.
"Dagger," she gasps as I trail my lips down the column of her throat. "Are you sure about this?"
I pull back just far enough to meet her gaze, my hand cupping her jaw. "I've never been more sure of anything in my goddamn life."
And it's the truth. This thing between us is inevitable. A collision course set in motion the moment she walked into my life with her haunted eyes and her fighter's heart.
Chloe searches my face for a long moment, looking for any hint of doubt or hesitation. When she finds none, a slow, wicked smile curves her lips.
"Then what are you waiting for?" she challenges, her voice a husky purr.
A low growl rumbles up from my chest as I hoist her into my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist. I carry her towards the bed, my heart hammering against my ribs in a frantic, primal beat.
There will be consequences in the morning, hard truths that will need to be faced. But for now, there is only this. The slide of skin against skin, the dance of lips and teeth and tongue. The sweet, aching bliss of losing myself in her, again and again and again until we fall into exhaustion.
I wake to the harsh light of day streaming through the window, pounding in my head but the weight of my actions is the real killer. Chloe sleeps naked and tangled in the sheets beside me, her delicate features softened in slumber. I can't help but stare, admiring the curve of her shoulder, the sweep of her collarbone.
Shit, shit, shit. This was a bad idea. A monumentally fucking dumbass move. I never should've let it go this far with her. But in that moment, in the haze of Tank’s and Soph’s wedding and cheap fucking booze, I'd lost control. Lost myself in the heat of her body, the way she'd called my name like a prayer on her lips.
I close my eyes, trying to clear my mind, but all I see is her, the way she'd arched her neck, the way she'd called my name.
Fuck, Dagger, you fucked up royally this time. Big time. And there ain't no going back now. I don’t stop to think. I move on instinct, gathering my clothes and quickly getting dressed. It’s a shit thing to do, but I have to get out of here.
My hand hovers over the doorknob, the cool metal a stark contrast to the heat coursing through my veins. I'm caught in a moment of indecision, torn between the woman sleeping peacefully in my bed and the brothers waiting beyond this room.
Fuck. What have I done?
Loyalty to the Iron Reapers pulses through me like a second heartbeat, as steady and sure as the rumble of a Harley. They're my family. And I've just betrayed every unspoken rule, every code of conduct that holds us together.
I can already picture the looks on their faces when they find out. The disbelief, the anger, the disappointment. Mason's jaw will clench, his eyes going hard and flat as he tries to reconcile his trust in me with the knowledge of what I've done. Tank will be furious, his temper exploding like a powder keg.
My chest constricts, panic clawing at my throat. I have to get out of here. I can't face them, can't bear to see the accusations in their eyes.
I take one last look at Chloe, memorizing the way her dark hair spills across the pillow, the gentle rise and fall of her breathing. She looks so damn peaceful, so innocent. Like she hasn't just shattered my world into a million fucking pieces.
I want to hate her for it. For making me feel things I've never felt before, for cracking open the carefully constructed walls around my heart. But even now, with everything hanging in the balance, I can't bring myself to regret a single moment spent in her arms.
Steeling myself, I turn the knob and slip out of the room, the door clicking shut behind me with a soft snick. The hallway stretches before me, long and narrow. In the silence of the early morning, I walk down the hall and through the main room, intent on getting to my bike without anyone seeing me.
My boots heavy on the worn floorboards. Each step feels like a betrayal, a severing of the bonds that have defined my life for so long. Uncertainty gnaws at my gut, a sickening twist of fear and self-loathing.
Will I ever be able to come back from this? To face the music and accept the consequences of my actions? Or have I just lost everything that matters, sacrificed it all for a few stolen moments of bliss?
I don't know. I fucking don't know.
All I know is that I can't stay here, can't bear to see the fallout of my own reckless choices. So I keep walking, out into the night, into the unknown.
Leaving my heart, my home, and my brothers behind.