Chapter 9
Moon
Nova has been ignoring me since last night. I think something's off with us and it has been for a while.
When we became friends we promised each other we wouldn't catch feelings, at the time he was a prospect and my dad would've killed him so it was easy to never think of him that way. I always had eyes for Dagger and I know Nova knew that.
I need to talk to him. He's been working on his bike for hours, which I know he only does when he's got a lot on his mind. Making my way from the clubhouse to the garage that's just to the left of the clubhouse, I adjust my outfit and fix my hair as anxiety takes over.
I don't know what I'd do if Nova wasn't in my life anymore he's been a constant for so long... he's like a platonic soulmate at this point. It would break my heart to lose him as a friend. I hesitate when I notice Dagger is also in here, he’s busy installing a new Stereo in my truck. He winks at me when he notices me staring at him in his Cut with nothing under it.
Don't get distracted Moon.
I walk over to where Nova is tinkering with his bike and lean my hip against the huge red toolbox he's using. There's one in every work bay.
"Pass me that socket wrench." He says when he notices me standing there, none of his usual smiles or flirting. I hand him the wrench and he tightens up something by the oil reservoir. I know Harley's are notorious for oil leaks. That must be what he's fixing.
"Oil leak?" I ask, grabbing another stool to sit beside him while he works.
"Yeah." He replies plainly.
"Can we talk?"
"We're already talking, Moon." Moon? Not Princess? Okay, something is really wrong here.
"Are you pissed at me?" I ask kinda confused, I mean I know I rushed him out of my room last night, but I didn't expect the cold shoulder.
"No, Moon, I'm not pissed."
"Then why aren't you calling me Princess?"
"Do you want me to be honest with you?" he asks looking up at me with cold sad eyes. I nod, gulping because I have a feeling whatever he has to say is gonna hurt.
"I've wanted you since the day that I laid eyes on you Moon, I've chased after you for years like a goddamn puppy. I know there's something up with you and Dagger. I'm not even mad, I'm just fucking jealous. I've wanted you for so long and you chose someone else. That's just something I've gotta live with now I guess." He sighs running his fingers through his light-colored hair. "Fuck Moon, I think I'm in love with you."
Nova looks up at me with eyes begging me to reciprocate his feelings but I can't. I don't see him like that and this is honestly shocking. I know we flirt a lot but that's just my personality, I thought it was his too seeing as he flirts with anything that has tits. I honestly don't know how to feel about what he just said to me I just know I've gotta let him down gently.
"I love you too Nova. You're my best friend and I need you in my life. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. You're my favorite person, it's just not a romantic connection on my end." I say softly as if I'm approaching a wounded animal. He winces at my words, then shakes his head.
"Just fucking leave." Nova growls, shocking me with the amount of anger aimed at me. He's never talked to me like that before. Tears pool in my eyes. This fucking hurts.
"Please Nova, you're my best friend." I try to reason with him, reaching forward to place my hand on his knee.
He brushes my hand off forcefully, and it stings. It's then that the tears track down my face. I hope this isn't the end for us because this hurts worse than that night when I was sixteen with Dagger.
"Not anymore Doll Face, you don't have to worry I won't tell your daddy about your little secret, but you better stay the hell away from me and I fucking mean it. Leave." A piece of my heart shatters at his words. I didn't even think about him telling my dad about me and Dagger. I don't even care about any of that right now.
My legs are like noodles under me as I rush out of the garage, tears flowing. The second I step out of the garage my legs go weak, giving out on me and I fall to my knees right there in the dirt. My chest is heaving and I feel like I can't breathe. My head is spinning and my vision is tunneling. This can't be happening, I can't lose him.
"Baby."
Dagger
Panic attack. She hasn't had one of those since she was little -back when her mom passed-. I scoop her up into my arms, resting her head on my shoulder. Her panic attacks are so bad she quits breathing and passes out when she has them. She'll come too in a couple of minutes, but she'll be exhausted after the fact. I carry her into the clubhouse, knowing Razor is at a meeting with the Italians about a gun shipment so I don't have to worry about him spotting us.
As soon as I walk through the door Swiss and Pyro are in my path with a look of fury on their face.
"What happened?" Pyro asks accusingly.
"Go tell Nova he's riding out to the Florida chapter they're catching some heat right now and asked if we could spare any men. I told Wrecker I didn't have anyone to send his way but that just changed, I need Nova gone before I fucking kill him." I growl, looking down at Moon when I hear a little sniffle.
Pyro storms out the door and I almost pray for Nova when I see the crazed glint in his eye.
"Touch her and you'll lose your goddamn fingers." I spit when Swiss stepped forward like he wanted to take her from me. He raised his eyebrows at me before a look of realization crossed his face.
"Razor will kill you if you go there, Brother."
"I know." He nods, an understanding look in his eye. He's had an old lady before, we lost her to a shoot-out many years ago. He knows what it's like when you've found your woman. I've accepted my fate. I don't give a shit what happens to me anymore, all I know is Moon is mine and I'm not letting her go.
I take her up the stairs, stopping at her room for a second before thinking better of it and bringing her to mine so I can keep a close eye on her. She tends to get nightmares and flashbacks when the panic attacks happen.
When she comes back into consciousness I know she won't be awake very long. She needs sleep after her panic attacks because they're so draining. Remembering what to do since I was the one that helped her with her with them when her dad wasn't around. I quickly help her change out of her clothes, -which are covered in dirt- and into one of my tee shirts.
After that I settle her into my sheets, wrapping her up in my comforter. I sit on top of the blankets next to her with my back against the headboard. Moon subconsciously cuddles into me, her head resting on my lap. I run my fingers through her hair like I did in the truck on the way back from Porky's.
"I've got you, baby," I whisper, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
She can rest peacefully now knowing that when her demons come, I'll be there to chase them away.