Chapter 14
Razor
1 week later
"Have you been to see her son?"
"No Pop, how am I supposed to go visit my
Baby Girl in a hospital bed knowing I'm the one that put her there? What if she doesn't make it? Monica would never forgive me."
"Moon will make it. She's a fighter. And Son, she'll forgive you with time... she's got that soft heart like her momma." My Dad, Porky, says gripping my shoulder with his eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"I hate him, Pop. It cuts deep when your own brother betrays you like this. I mean, shit we've been friends for over twenty years. He's been like Moon's uncle her whole entire childhood." I slur, taking another drag from my cigarette before gulping down more whiskey as I rock in one of the rocking chairs on Porky's front porch.
How did this even happen? How did I miss this going down, in my own club?
I shake my head, running my fingers through my hair.
"You already stripped him of his patch Razor, you can't punish him any more than you already have. You know that the club is all he's ever known."
"It ain't enough." I grit out looking over at my Pops, noticing his face turning stern. His eyes now pinning me.
And here comes the lecture. That's the lecture face, I'd know after many years of being a rebellious asshole of a son.
"Tell me this, did you choose to love Monica or did it just happen?" I sit silently, considering his words and hating that he's got a point. Doesn't change the fact that what Dagger has done is wrong. Dead fucking wrong. My Baby Girl, really?
I slam back more whiskey, wiping my mouth with the back of my tattoo-covered hand.
"It's different."
"Is it, son?"
"Monica was eight years younger than you, if I remember correctly, you worked on her daddy's farm during the summer," Pop says, sending me back to that place I've long since buried. Pictures of her raven hair and pale green eyes flash through my mind, causing my chest to ache.
"You didn't even have the decency to tell her father, did you, Son? No, you ran off to Florida making Wrecker's Pa hide you and Monica out. You had everyone scared shitless. Even me, then showed up nine months later with a baby girl and a ring on Monica’s finger. You're not so innocent yourself." Porky says, the whole scene playing out in my memory as he speaks the words.
He laughs half-heartedly and I find myself smiling too. I loved that woman with everything I had. I would've done anything for her.
I swipe under my eye catching the stray tear before it can fall and clear the lump in my throat.
"She'd hate me, if she could see me now. I hurt our little girl." I go to throw back more whiskey, only to find the bottle empty.
"All you can do now is fix it. Let her be her own woman. Let her make her own decisions, and choose who or what makes her happy. Trust her, like I trusted you back then."
"I can't Pop, she's too young and he can't be right for her."
"Say what you want about Dagger, Son, but I've seen the love he carries in his heart for her."
"How did everyone know but me?" I spit, slamming my hand down onto the banister, pacing the porch trying to channel the rage filling me.
"Maybe, if you spent some time with your daughter, you'd have noticed too Son." I glare at Porky, seated in his rocking chair, calm as could be -as always-. I hate how good of a grip he has over his emotions, always have. It's infuriating.
He knows damn well why I keep a distance.
"I can't." I bellow.
"She can't help that she looks like her Ma, Son." I glare at him.
"You don't understand Pop. She was everything. I can't handle seeing her face every day. The reminder of my screw-up. She died and I couldn't save her. The mother of my child, Pa. Every time I look at Moon I see the hurt and loss in her eyes."
"She lost her mother -I'm well aware-, but now she's lost her father too."
"I'm right here. I'm always there to protect her."
"But are you there to comfort her? Are you there to parent her? You're supposed to be her father, not her emotionless bodyguard."
Porky's words bounce around my brain on repeat. Not only did I fail Monica, but now I’ve failed Moon too.
He's right.
My brain is on autopilot running through what I can even say to begin the healing process with Moon. How could she forgive what I've done? My bike revs, vibrating the seat beneath me as I pull into the hospital parking lot.
It's dark before I get the guts to go inside.
The beige soulless walls make my chest go tight as I walk up to the front desk.
Room 316. The room my daughter's comatose body lays in because of me.
I checked with Stray to make sure Dagger wasn't here. I don't want to see him and I know the feeling is mutual.
"Hi, how can I help you?" I lean my forearms on the desktop, smiling as the young woman's eyes heat running over my muscular body. Looks like this old man has still got it.
"I'm here to see my daughter."
"Her name?"
"Moon. Should be room 316."
"Moon Livingston?" I nod and her eyebrows furrow in response.
"Looks like she was discharged a little over an hour ago."
"Discharged? She's in a coma doll-face. My buddy Doc works here and he said she can't be released from this beige hellhole until she's conscious."
"Well, my system says she's been discharged."
I snatch the badge from her chest, storming through the doors while I hear her phoning for security behind me. I couldn't give two shits. I'm gonna wring Doc's neck for lying to me. I know she isn't in our infirmary at the clubhouse so where the hell is she?
"DOC!" I bellow, my enraged voice echoing off the tall ceilings. Nurses and patients get one look at my Leather Cut and scatter.
I search for room 316, needing to see for myself. Doc's clean-cut face comes into sight as I pass the nurse's station, slamming shit off of desks as I pass.
"Where is she?" His eyes go wide, true fear passing through them. I've never seen him scared. Not like this. Something is really fucking wrong.
"Stray was watching over her. I just went to check on her and they're Both MIA Prez."
I see nothing but red, slamming him against the wall by his neck. He cowers under my grasp knowing he's fucked up, refusing to fight against me.
"Where are they?"
"I'm not sure Prez, I was just about to call you. I went to check on her and they're gone. I think it's the Reapers, Prez." He rambles out. I know if he had anything to do with this he would've ran before I had a chance to get here, that's the only thing keeping him alive right now.
I slam Doc against the wall again, knocking him out. I’m too pissed to control myself.
After his body goes limp falling to the floor, the reality of what he just says sinks in.
Shit, I've got to get out of here before security arrives.
This means Stray is a fucking rat. Doc let all this happen right under his fucking nose.
Wait, shit. I let this happen. I trusted Stray with looking after her and I shouldn't have. He's one of our newest members, I shouldn't have fucking trusted him. I have to find her. I can't lose her too.
Fuck... I don't pray, but Monica if you're up there look out for our little girl.