Chapter 1 #2
I hated letting go of his hand. The summer meant we were alone in New York City, but as school approached, the rich and powerful returned in droves from their summer homes.
The Hamptons. Martha’s Vineyard. Nantucket.
Europe. Asia. The brothers recognized someone everywhere, which meant we had to be more careful.
We remained completely non-compliant about the rules in the Hamptons, but their father Stephen had read them the riot act over Zoom about it the week before.
If we were going to make our relationship work, we had to adopt the same carefulness as the rest of the family.
Sure, people asked questions. . . Why does Kit, technically Rosalind’s husband, live with his wife and three brothers all together?
Generally, people thought they were just too close—making them an odd but acceptable level of weirdness.
Phoenix said people thought Stephen was gay and hid it, Eric kept a woman in the Village who he couldn’t marry, and Daniel still pined for a long lost love.
I didn’t know where people came up with those stories, and neither did they.
Regardless, no rumors claimed they all loved Rosalind, meaning they kept the world fooled.
We would have to manage something similar, if things worked, and if we stayed together. If they don’t get tired of me. If I don’t get sent away.
He smiled, undeterred. “I’ll come with you. You can’t carry all of it yourself.”
He wasn’t wrong, but I planned for that. “I’m getting a car.”
I hated using my aunt’s credit card, but some things were necessary.
To attend school, I needed my clothes, so a car apparently fell on that list. I used my subway pass from Barrett sparingly, but I still wasn’t one hundred percent certain I knew my way around well enough.
And it was going to be too much for me to carry right now.
They preferred it if I didn’t travel alone at night, but it would happen out of necessity eventually.
“Smart, but I’m still tagging along for moral support. She might not be home, so you can grab your clothes and get out without her even noticing.”
In my wildest dreams. “What if she is?”
“Then we deal.” He shook his head. “Where did Barrett and Phoenix go, anyway? I didn’t recognize their locations when I looked for you.”
“Barrett is getting a haircut,” I said and smiled. “While Phoenix is…doing what Phoenix does once a week.”
He knew I meant buying drugs, though we never spoke about it outright.
He only returned to his brothers after they agreed to let him live with his choices, leaving it the constant elephant in the room.
No one got to discuss it except Phoenix.
He knew we worried and wanted him healthy, but until he wanted that too. . .
Until then, I just love him. Judging him would fix nothing. Loving him might help him someday fix himself.
“Right.” Jeremy nodded. “Well, let’s get this done. We can drop in on Granny, too. Jules checked on her yesterday, but it’ll be good to see her. If everyone is back, we’ll go out to eat. A final hurrah before tomorrow.”
I loved the idea. “Thanks for giving me something to look forward to today. All I’ve been thinking about is the apartment, Tricia, my family, and then Pullman.”
He winced. “All bad stuff. No wonder that look is back on your face.”
I shook my head. “What look?”
“The world might blow up look. You lost it after we got back from the Hamptons, once we chased you back to the city. You stopped looking like the end was near, and instead you’ve been beautifully happy.
” He pointed to my eyes. “Now your brown eyes are hurting again. I hate it. I want to fix it. Let me.” He lowered his voice. “I love you.”
He was so good about saying it. Out of all four of them, he was the only one who did. I wanted to say it back, to proclaim it to all of them. I loved them.
But if I said it, and then everything blew up? It might kill me.
He smiled. “I know you love me, but you’re still scared. The day you say it, I’ll know you feel safe.”
We ordered a car, and no sooner were we inside and moving than Jeremy leaned over and kissed me.
Hard. A claiming, so I held on, letting him.
I kissed and kissed him until we arrived at my aunt’s building.
I should try to think about it as their granny’s building, as Dina’s building since she lived there too.
It would be less negative of a connotation.
We both panted, my body buzzed, his eyes glazed, and he laughed, throwing his head back. “Shit. Okay.”
We’d only kissed and snuggled so far, none of us going further despite the temptation. I feared sharing so much with them and, like love, trying to survive once it inevitably ended.
I hoped they were right. I hoped time would solve everything.
Dina caught sight of us as she exited the building and we got out of our rideshare.
“Darlings!” She rushed over to hug us together tightly. “I love you. This is such a gift. What are you doing here? I have a meeting. We will get the East River cleaned up this year, even if we have to clean it ourselves.”
Was it very dirty?
If any person could handle this, it would be the glamorous, full of secrets, beautiful seventy-something year old Dina Lent, the matriarch of the family.
I loved her. My summer project started with typing up her journals, something I intended to return to once she gave me permission again.
In her words, she wanted me to enjoy the summer rather than working.
I did.
“I have to grab my Pullman uniform from upstairs.”
She smirked. “Tricia runs from me when we see each other. I think she’s afraid I might treat her like someone did Ted.” Her eyes twinkled. “Excellently handled with style, I heard.”
Kit. We were all but sure he set the cops on Ted after Ted and Aunt Amelia pulled a stunt at the Lents’ Hamptons house.
“Well, we are three ships crossing, so to speak. I love you.”
Jeremy kissed her cheek. “I love you. Any news we don’t have?”
Her smile dimmed. “Your mom is getting better. Kit and Daniel will be back this week. Stephen, the next. Eric is on leave until Mom is better. His partners aren’t happy with him—he is the biggest earner in their practice—but they know the deal if they want to work with the most sought-after plastic surgeon in Manhattan.
He keeps his own schedule. He’ll stay at the lake with Mom and come back with her, but you know all this.
You want to know about the other part. Phoenix’s kidnappers.
Alatheia’s family secrets. Unfortunately, the answers remain no.
What is hidden, for now, remains hidden. ”
She waved her hand in the way she did when she was done with a topic. “I am going to go hold kittens tonight. Oh, Alatheia, I think it’s time. Our project? Start back up.”
I nodded. “I will.”
A taxi pulled up behind us as Jeremy shook his head. “The one that she won’t tell us about.”
“Yes, that.” Dina grinned. “Oh, look, it’s Barrett.”
As he got out of a stopped taxi, he kissed his granny then she rushed away. To clean the East River. I grinned. She ran more charities than I could count.
“I was going home, but I saw you guys on the app, so I diverted the taxi a block. Were you visiting Granny, or are we here for something less desirable?”
Jeremy frowned. “We have to get her Pullman uniforms from her aunt.”
Barrett winced. “Well, then, let’s do it. You okay, Sweetheart?”
I nodded and then shook my head. They would know if I tried to lie or pretend I was okay.
The doorman opened the door for us. He was new, which meant that Barrett didn’t know him. He stopped to introduce himself, letting him know Dina was their granny and that my aunt lived upstairs. By the end, Barrett knew just about everything about the guy, a skill I both admired and feared.
Barrett loved music and conversation and could play the piano like a professional. Even though he wanted to open music clubs, support musicians, and teach, he studied law instead. For the moment, anyway, because it was what his family wanted from him.
We entered the elevator, so I steeled my back. Gravity intensified, my every step heavier as we approached Aunt Tricia’s door.
“Got your key?” Barrett leaned over and quickly planted a sneaky kiss on my neck.
I breathed, eased by his touch. “I do.” I pulled it out of my bag.
“I hate that you’re going to Pullman without me.” Barrett frowned.
“Me too.” I also hated thinking about the beautiful coeds he might prefer over me at Columbia, but that could happen anywhere.
Jeremy sighed. “I’ll be there.”
“Yes, but you and Jules will be in the senior hallway, separate from the rest of the school. You’ll never see her.”
That means what? No one told me. The elevator dinged and opened.
With a groan, Jeremy hit Barrett’s arm. “You just made her more nervous.”
“You didn’t mention that yet, dipshit?”
“No,” he shouted back but then shrugged with one careless shoulder. “I’ll find a way to see her. Julian will find a way, too. Phoenix will be with her constantly. They even have a class together, first one every day.”
He wasn’t wrong. I stepped toward the door.
Due to being placed in remedial study skills class together, we would have one class together.
I snorted to myself, thinking we both fit there, since it was where they put any students they feared might not be able to keep up with their studies due to past academic performance.
Apparently, it was his fourth time in the class, though it would be my first. People graduated out of it, but not Phoenix.
He didn’t give a shit, in his words. I probably wouldn’t get out of it, either.
In addition to being dyslexic, I honestly wasn’t very smart when it came to school stuff.
After I turned my key in the lock, the grandfather clock ticked in welcome.
No one greeted us, and I took a deep breath in relief. Maybe we can just get in and out.
“Alatheia,” my aunt said, making ice skate through my veins and freeze me like a statue. “I wondered when you would get around to gracing my doorstep. I see you brought the Lents with you. Two of them? You’re home, so do you intend to ruin lives here again?”
A martini glass clinked with ice in her hand, and she took a gulp as if the noise reminded her she held the drink. I bit my lip, since of course a martini in the middle of the day. Why not?
“Aunt Tricia.” I kept my gaze down, my head slightly bowed. It went better for me when I pretended obedience and subservience, at least. “How have you been? I came home to get my uniforms, if you don’t mind me picking them up.”
“Where exactly will you be taking them?” She sloshed some of her gin onto the floor, gesturing as she spoke, then taking another hearty gulp. I could smell it from across the room, the scent biting at my nose with memories.
I cleared my throat, trying to resist the bile rising there with my anxiety. “I’ll be staying elsewhere.”
“Oh no, dear. No, you are not.” She laughed. “You are mine to deal with. You’ll be staying here. You live with me, your legal guardian.”
I think my heart stopped, since all of my fears came true in that moment.