Chapter 8
When we reached the skate park, I realized he wasn’t lying about the location.
The park was nestled beneath the Manhattan Bridge, literally.
There were skaters all over, varying from the too young to be doing that to the practically too old to be doing it too.
And everyone in between. The graffiti-covered walls were artistic in places and dirty and mean in others.
The sounds of the constant wheels on concrete, plus cheers and grunting bounced around me. I stared at all of it, taking it in.
Phoenix seemed to know everyone, though he outright ignored the little kids on the periphery. By the time dusk tinged the sky pink, only his friends remained.
He introduced me to most of them, but as I sat on the ground watching him, I didn’t think I remembered anyone’s name. Too many new people in my life. Everyone seemed transient and no one stayed very long.
Remembering the past couple of years, tears threatened to spill, because I realized even if they didn’t think so, the Lents could vanish overnight, too.
They said they would come with me if I went away to boarding school, but it wasn’t realistic.
Their lives are here. Phoenix seemed like he might live three different kinds of lives all by himself, between school, drugs, and skating.
I like two of the three.
Not to mention their secret family life and their whole existence in the Hamptons.
I thought about Barrett, probably in some college classroom, and the twins at water polo, but they would be in college next year, too. They wouldn’t be flying off to sit with me in whatever boarding school Aunt Tricia shoved me in.
As I watched, Phoenix pushed off with one foot, ready to go again. The people in the skatepark looked at him with respect, but not because of his name or his money. No one cut him a wide berth or rolled their eyes at him. He was one of them, and crazy talented.
Sometimes he even managed to go vertical, or vert, as they called it. The air seemed to capture him, holding him upright until he maneuvered himself back to the ground with practiced ease. Doing it one more time, he turned to grin at me.
“Do you want to try it?”
I blinked in surprise. On his board, no pads, with everyone else around quasi-professional skaters? Do I want to fall on my ass in front of them? It sounded terrifying, if I was honest.
“I’m good,” I said and got to my feet. It was getting late, and the twins would be getting home soon.
“How about if we get going? I want to stop at the grocery store near the house and grab some things. I want to make dinner.” A thought dawned on me, because I didn’t want to force Phoenix to go home.
I wanted him to enjoy his afternoon. “You can stay here, if you want. I remember how we got here. I’ll just reverse engineer. ”
He shook his head. “Don’t be crazy. Of course I’m coming with you. Cooking? This is a new thing?”
“A trying it thing.” I smiled at him. “You were so good. I mean, you’re really incredible. How did you learn how to do all of that? ” I gestured back at the skatepark as if encompassing all of it.
He set down his board and offered me his hand as he did every time. “Hal and I tried it together. We used to be best friends. We did everything together.”
Hal? I searched my memory for a face in a sea of new names then I remembered—Tiffany’s boyfriend, the one who did drugs, too. She mentioned Hal missed Phoenix, but I didn’t really know the dynamic.
I jumped on the back of his board and held onto him, leaning my forehead against his back and wrapping my arms around him. I trusted him implicitly, so I simply held on tightly because he felt good in my arms.
We reached the subway, though Barrett would probably have preferred it if we’d gotten a car service. At the bottom of the stairs, Phoenix caught my hand, squeezing our fingers together before he brought them to his mouth to kiss them.
I put my head on his shoulder while we waited, comfortable with him. “Can I ask a question?”
“Always. I know I was a dick this morning, and I’m sorry. Don’t be...intimidated around me. I’m still me.”
I stared up at his hard profile, biting my lip and considering my words carefully despite his claim. “Why did you stop being friends with Hal? All Tiffany would say is he uses too, and he misses you.”
He looked down at his feet. “When his parents cued into what he was doing, they blamed me for it. Truthfully, Hal is who got me into the stuff, but he blamed me, which was whatever. He got my parents involved, or at least Kit and Mom. Eric is actually my dad, as you know, not that it mattered. They all stared at me with such disappointment. It’s not like we have an awesome parent-child relationship to begin with, if I’m honest. They know who I am.
Daniel actually said I never thought you’d do this to someone else.
It was horrible.” He looked away. “Rather than take responsibility for the fact that he got caught, he screwed me. Now, he doesn’t even get it, because he doesn’t know. ”
I nodded. “About your family dynamic?”
“Right, but it’s not even that. Things are tenuous for me with them. If my brothers didn’t love me so much, and cover for me, I wouldn’t still be here. They would’ve sent me away to who knows where a long time ago then thrown away the directions of how to find me again.”
I caught my breath, because although I didn’t think his parents would abandon him, I didn’t know for sure.
Rosalind had been half out of her mind the whole time I knew them.
His fathers seemed like they were always running in circles—sometimes figuratively, sometimes otherwise—to keep things together.
But at the end of the day, it wasn’t what mattered. “I’m sorry that happened. Hal is obviously not to be trusted.”
He shrugged. “Maybe he’s changed but I doubt it. He’s arguably more of a junkie than me but probably not much more.”
“Hey,” I said and squeezed against him tighter. “Don’t talk about yourself that way. I don’t like it. Do you want to stop doing what you’re doing?”
The train chose that second to arrive with a screech. People started darting around and he pulled me onto it with him. I was on one side and the board was in his other hand, which meant he had to wrap his arm around the pole for support while he held his board at the same time.
I wasn’t going to get an answer to my question right then. My timing couldn’t have been worse. Then again, it was totally possible Phoenix would outright not answer me.
Instead, he kissed me, hard on the lips, stealing my breath and my thoughts. “Yes, but you’re going to have to let me do it in my time. I’ve got some things to work out first, okay?”
“Whatever you want, however you want it. I won’t press.”
He nodded once as we jerked forward. “I know, because you’re you. But I don’t want my brothers to keep on keeping on as you said earlier. I’ve got to think about some things. I don’t want to be the weak link you all eventually have to release.”
I hated how little he thought of himself. “You’re a genius, Phoenix. Anyone who doesn’t see or get it is an idiot. You’re essential. Besides, you might all be replacing me when I have to leave for boarding school.”
“We’re not circling around that topic. You know I’ll follow you.”
The subway clattered, a familiar noise and part of the city soundtrack in my mind. Conversations would vanish into silence, with the sound of the train dominating all. I couldn’t understand a word said over the speakers.
We arrived at our stop and rushed off to make our way back to street level.
It was still hot outside, even sticky, so I fanned my shirt away from my body, trying to stir some air. “When does it start to feel like autumn? Last night teased it.”
“Fall comes in about a month or so. I bet if you wanted, Barrett would take you on a drive to Vermont and Maine to look at the leaves changing colors. It sounds like the kind of thing he would enjoy.”
I groaned. “You know you would want to come with us. Besides, it wouldn’t be any fun without your running commentary.
Plus, we’d have to go get his car right?
Drive to the Hamptons, retrieve the car, and then leave for Vermont?
He probably wants to stay on campus and have fun or something, not drive with me to Vermont. ”
I was talking a lot, rambling, so I shut my mouth.
He grinned despite my nerves. “Hop on,” he said and offered his hand.
I held on tight while he rode us home.
To his home. Not mine. I needed to remember that, since the rug could be ripped out from under me at any moment. I had to keep reminding myself.
“Hey,” he said and stopped abruptly. I almost fell off, but he kept us both upright then pointed. “Isn’t that the fucking PI?”
I looked around, scanning faces to see if I could spot him. “What?”
Then I saw him. He stared straight at us, about a block from the apartment. My lips thinned as I recognized him.
Phoenix lifted his hand to give the man the finger. I laughed, unable to stop myself. So, we are back to this. My family hired him before to follow me, not that it made any sense. I didn’t go anywhere besides school.
Let him take photos.
Quickly, we ducked into a nearby grocery store to grab the few things I needed to cook a simple meal.
I hoped I could cook, anyway. Aunt Amelia cooked for ‘call me Ted’ sometimes, and I watched her.
Maybe I hoped she would be like a mother, despite me so completely failing in San Francisco.
Maybe I just wanted her to like me? Regardless, I recognized really quickly people like her would show me favor if I gave them a ton of attention.
We made it all the way to his home and inside the building without getting into it with the PI, which had to be a win of some kind.
Stepping into the apartment, we came up short when we saw Kit and Daniel. That’s right. Dina said they were coming back.
“Kit. Daniel.” Phoenix stepped around them. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”