Chapter Eleven
Brock
I park my bike in the garage, then make my way into my house. I had a good time hanging out at the dance studio with my friends today. Felt like old times.
I loved watching them dance, but Lexi…she was astonishing. Majestic, like I told her. I always thought she was amazing, but she’s gotten even more stunning over the past four years. She’s just so happy and in her element when she dances, like she’s transported to another world. She gets the same look on her face when she talks about ocean life. I love how passionate she is about the things she cares about.
Dad’s the only one home, since Mom is still at work. She, with the help of Easton, started a charity organization that encourages girls to get into sports.
“Is that you, Brock?” Dad calls from his office, where he’s probably working on his book.
“Yeah.”
Footsteps sound before he enters the kitchen. I reach for a can of Dr Pepper and chug half of it down. “Remember you have an appointment with Dr. Brewer in ten minutes,” Dad tells me.
“Yep.” I take another sip.
Dad casually crosses his arms over his chest as he studies me. “How was school?”
“Fine.”
He continues to study me. It’s like he’s trying to assess how I’m doing without asking questions that would make me uncomfortable.
“Dad, I’m fine.”
He squints at me. “You look like you have a lot on your mind. Anything you want to talk to me about?”
I finish up the last bit of the sugary liquid. Yeah, I do have a lot on my mind. From lame and trivial stuff like school to more important topics like my guilt about Andy’s death that I’m trying to get over and my confusing feelings about Lexi. I love hanging out with her, but it feels like there’s this wall between us. It seems to grow thinner the more time we spend together, though.
“Isn’t that what my shrink is for?” I ask. “Thanks, but I’m good, and I really need to go. You know Dr. Brewer hates when I’m late.”
“All right. Have a good session.”
I salute and make my way to my room. Dad and I used to be very close, especially because we both love sci-fi and fantasy books. We’d joke around as we reenacted our favorite scenes. He was such a dork. Sometimes we even got Mom and Zoey to join us. It was so much fun, memories I’ll cherish forever. But at the same time, other memories creep in from the corners of my mind. It’s hard to think about the good without thinking about the bad as well. But I guess that’s just something I’ll have to live with. I don’t want to ever forget Andy, which means I’ll always remember that terrible summer and the years following it.
I settle down at my desk with my laptop, and a few minutes later, I connect with my therapist.
The session lasts for about an hour and I’m glad to report it goes well. We talk about my new school and how I’m adjusting, as well as other things.
After the session, I get started on my homework. Edenbury High gives just as much homework as my school back in Boston, which is a lot. Before I left, I made a deal with my grandparents, promising to keep my grades up. After all, my bike is still conditional. Grandpa and Grandma told me that the minute my grades slip, it’s goodbye motorcycle. I won’t let that happen.
As I’m reading from the bio textbook, my phone dings with a text.
Theo: Hey, Brick. This essay is killing me. Write it for me? Pretty please with a great white shark on top?
Brock: Did you just call me Brick?
Theo: Darn auto correct. Brick.
Theo: Darn it!
I chuckle as I tap out a response.
Brock: I already told you I’m not writing your essay for you.
Theo: Man, the book is so boring. I haven’t even made it to page twenty. Please, please write it for me. I’ll get you whatever you want. Just say the word and it’s yours.
Brock: Not happening. And the book isn’t boring at all. Sheesh, man, it’s an easy read and you should be done in about two hours.
Theo: Two hours? You know how many quests in Chronicles of the Eternals I can complete in that amount of time?
Brock: Or you can read the book and write the essay yourself like the rest of us.
Theo: Please Brick!
Theo: Brick.
Theo: Man, your name is annoying.
Brock: Calling my dead uncle’s name annoying isn’t very cool, dude.
Theo: Sorry.
Brock: Just messing with you! But do the homework yourself. If you want help with grammar and stuff, hit me up, but you’re on your own.
Theo: Darn it. Fine. If I get an F, it’s on you.
Brock: Or you could read the book.
Theo: Not everyone loves to read like you. Is there a movie version?
Brock: Theo…
Theo: Fine. Catch ya later, Brick.
Brock: You did that on purpose.
Theo: :)
I laugh lightly, then throw my phone aside and continue bio. A few minutes later, there’s a knock on my door before Mom peeks her head in.
“Hey, Brocky.”
“Mom…”
She holds up her hands. “Okay, okay, I won’t call you that. How was school and your session with Dr. Brewer?”
“Good. How was work?”
Smiling, she sits down next to me. “It was great. There’s a girl we’re working with who’s having a hard time because she’s the only girl on her football team. Reminds me of me.”
“It sucks she’s having a hard time.”
Mom stretches her arm over my shoulder, pulling me close to her. “She’s not even part of the starting lineup. Chances are she’ll sit on the bench all season, but some guys can’t accept the thought of a girl on the team. A bunch of jerks.”
I smile. “Good thing she has you to talk to. You’re an inspiration to so many young girls.”
Mom squishes me close to her, burying my nose in her arm. “I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I can’t really breathe, Mom.”
She squeezes me even closer. “I can’t help it. I just love you so much.”
“I know,” my muffled voice says. “But if you don’t lay off, there won’t be anything left of me to love.”
She slowly draws back. “Sorry, sweetie.” She pushes some bangs out of my eyes. “I just worry about you. I know, I know, you don’t like when your father and I worry, but you can’t really blame us, can you?”
“No, but I’m okay. I mean it. So can you please take your worrying down a notch?”
“I’ll try. I can’t speak for your dad, though. He’s extra worried because he knows very well what it means to lose the people you love. We both do.”
I swallow the lump in my throat as I nod. “You think he’s forgiven me?” I say in a low voice. “Andy, I mean.”
She pulls me close to her. “I do. I don’t think he blames you for what happened that day. It was just an accident.”
I don’t say anything as I try to believe her words. If I want to move on and put the past behind me, I can’t keep feeling sorry for myself. It’s not like I could change the past. But I also can’t just go on living without bearing the guilt for causing his death. Maybe with time, I won’t always feel this way.
Mom searches my eyes and she must realize I want to be left alone with my thoughts because she bends forward and kisses my forehead. “Dinner will be ready soon. I’m making spaghetti and meatballs, your favorite.”
My stomach growls and I laugh sheepishly. “Can’t wait. Thanks.”
She pats my arm before leaving my room.
I barely get any more bio reading done because Dad walks into my room with a stack of papers. His manuscript.
“You finished it?” I ask.
“Hardly. This is only half.” He grins. “Want to read what I have so far?”
“Yes.”
He frowns as he takes in the school things on my desk. “Homework first, got it?”
“Yep.” I reach for the papers.
He holds it away from me. “No peeking.”
“Okay. I swear I won’t peek until I finish my homework and can read it properly.”
He nods as he passes the stack over to me. He bounces on the backs of his heels. “It’s a little different from what I normally write and I’m worried fans won’t like where I’m going with it.” He rubs his chin. “Lily would probably say I didn’t put enough romance in it. But some books don’t call for romance, you know?”
“Dad, relax. I’m sure it’s great.”
He twists his mouth. “I’ll probably have to scrap the whole thing and start over. But then I won’t finish it on time and my publisher will kill me…”
I get to my feet and put my hand on his arm. “Breathe, Dad.”
He drops down on my bed, rubbing his forehead. “Sometimes I wonder why I chose this career.”
“Because you want to take readers on a journey. You want to make them happy, inspire them. Take them away from their problems for a little while.”
A slow grin slips onto his face. “You’re right. Sorry. I don’t know where this insecurity is coming from.”
I shrug. “Happens to everyone, doesn’t it?”
He gets to his feet and wraps an arm around me. “It sure does. Thanks for your support. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for you, your sister, and your mom. You guys are my cheerleaders.”
“Happy to oblige.” With a cheeky grin, I flip to the first page of the manuscript.
“Hey,” Dad warns. “What did you promise me?”
I hold up my hands. “Was just kidding.”
He chuckles. “Is it lame when kids your age are kissed by their parents?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Hmm, too bad.” He bends forward and kisses the top of my head. Then he says, “Be brutal and honest, okay?”
“Yeah.”
He makes his way to the door, then spins around. “But not too brutal, yeah? It’s only a first draft.”
“Okay.”
He’s nearly out the door when he turns around again. “But don’t hold back, too. If something feels off—”
“Dad.”
His mouth snaps shut. “Right. I’m going to help your mom with dinner. Finish your homework.” He leaves.
I don’t have a chance to read Dad’s manuscript until after dinner. The food is awesome like usual. It brings me back to my childhood. I remember when Lexi was over for dinner one night and we had spaghetti and meatballs. We must have been nine and she got so excited when she learned what my mom made. Her smile was so infectious. It still is and it makes me feel warm inside whenever I think about it.
After dinner, I get comfortable on my bed with Dad’s book. But just as I’m about to start it, my phone dings with another text from Theo, telling me he finished the book and essay.
Brock: Was it so bad?
Theo: Yes.
I help him with the grammar, then prepare myself to start the first chapter. But I stop and reach for my phone.
Brock: Had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight.
I send it to Lexi.
I stare at my phone. Why did I send her that text?
Lexi: Ooh! Yummy. You’re so lucky. I’m jealous.
Brock: We’ve got leftovers. Want me to bring you some for lunch tomorrow?
Lexi: Really?
Brock: Sure, why not?
Lexi: Okay, thanks.
Brock: Of course.
I want to tell her I’d do anything for her. Not only to make up for all the pain I caused her, but because she’s Lexi. The girl who still means the world to me.