Chapter Fifteen
Brock
I roll over in my bed on Saturday morning, then open one eye. Sunlight shines into my room, into my eyes, nearly blinding me. Mom must have opened the shade, maybe as a way to get my lazy butt out of bed?
What time is it?
Reaching for my phone from my nightstand, I see that it’s after eleven. Man, Grandma and Grandpa never let me sleep in this late, even on a Saturday. But it’s not my fault. I was up most of the night thinking about Lexi. We had a bit of a heavy conversation while we did the Golden Gate Bridge puzzle, but it was lots of fun, too. I’m so glad we’re growing closer and are rebuilding our friendship.
But I’d better get out of bed before Mom or Dad worry about me. They’ve actually been treating me like normal for the most part, although I do catch some looks here and there.
After getting ready, I go downstairs and find Mom and Dad on the couch, watching a movie. Mom’s snuggled in Dad’s arms and she looks like she’s in heaven. I’ve missed seeing just how much they love each other. I want to do that with a girl one day. A specific girl, but I won’t think about her right now.
But can I? Will I ever be good enough for her? Do I even deserve her?
I shake my head to rid the thoughts. I told myself I don’t want to feel sorry for myself anymore.
Mom sits up and smiles at me. “Good morning, lazy bones.”
Dad peers at the clock on the wall. “Did you oversleep because you were up all night reading my masterpiece?”
I chuckle. “I did read it before bed, but no. I was, uh, thinking about stuff.”
They look at me expectantly.
“What?” I ask.
“What kind of stuff?” Mom prods.
“Geez, it’s personal.”
Dad and Mom exchange a look. Dad lifts a brow as he focuses on me. “Like…a girl?”
From the expressions on their faces, it’s obvious what girl they suspect.
“No, not a girl,” I lie. “Just stuff.”
“All right,” Dad says. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but remember that we’re here for you. Always.”
I nod. “I know. Thanks.”
“Of course, sweetie,” Mom says. “I left you some waffles in the kitchen.”
“Okay.” I turn to go.
“Brock? Your mom and I are going out on our bikes soon. You’re good here all by yourself?”
I face them. “Yeah. I’ll probably get some homework done and finish up your book, Dad.”
“Great. Also, Zoey called about an hour ago. She wanted to talk to you, too, but you were sleeping. You should call her.”
“Okay.”
My parents leave as I bite into the awesome waffles, telling me they won’t be out long. But I reassure them to take as much time as they need because I’ll be fine here by myself. Then I wash my dishes, go to my room, and start a video call with my sister.
She answers with a bright smile. “Hey, little bro.”
“Hey, Zo.”
Her brown eyes narrow as she studies me. “Did your bangs get longer since the last time we spoke?”
“Considering it’s only been a week, probably not.”
She laughs, pushing some sandy brown hair over her shoulder. “How are you doing?”
I shrug. “Fine. How’s college?”
She’s a freshman at a college that’s pretty far away and she’s studying business and finance. She wants to work at Mom’s charity after she graduates.
“College is good. A little overwhelming. It’s hard to be so far from home. I miss you guys.”
“We miss you, too.”
Her smile is sad. “I especially miss you. It feels like we’ve barely spent any time together since…you know.”
I nod and swallow. “I’m sorry for staying in Boston for so long—”
“No, don’t apologize. You did what you had to do to get better.”
I twist my mouth. “You used to bug me about coming home all the time. And about Lexi.”
She nods slowly. “You’re right. I did. I just wanted you to come home because I missed my little brother. But I’m glad you’re back now and are doing so much better.”
“Thanks.”
“Speaking of Lexi…”
“What?”
She bends closer to her phone as if she thinks I’ll share some secret with her or something. Her eyebrows wiggle. “What’s going on there?”
I give her a look like I have no idea what she’s getting at.
“Are you friends?” she asks.
“Yeah. We’re friends.”
“And did you apologize to her?”
“Geez, Zo.”
“It’s important, Brock.”
I puff out my cheeks. “Of course I did. Multiple times. But I don’t think it’s enough. Maybe words can’t fix the damage I caused. I hurt her so much.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I should have listened to you all those times you told me to contact her. But I ignored her instead. I was such a jerk.”
“Hey, stop that. You can’t change the past, all right? All you can do is be the amazing person that you are. Lexi knows how special you are. You’re very important to her.”
“I’m not amazing or special.”
“Yes you are, and I won’t hear another word about it. True you made mistakes, but you were just a kid trying to survive something horrible you went through. As long as you’re working on yourself to be a good person, the past doesn’t matter.”
I play with a loose thread on my shirt. “Since when did you become all-knowing?”
She laughs. “Since graduating high school? But really, I’m just trying to help you see that your past doesn’t define you. The person you’re striving to be is what’s important.” She lifts a brow again. “So…are you and Lexi…?”
“What?”
“You know. A thing.”
My eyes widen. “I just told you we’re friends.”
She clicks her tongue. “Come on, dude. Everyone knows you and Lexi were more than friends. Or at least we all predicted you’d end up together.”
“That was before my friend died before my eyes.”
She snaps her mouth shut.
I curse under my breath. “Sorry.”
She holds up both hands. “No, I’m sorry for pushing. Clearly you don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine. But are you guys getting close again?”
I release a breath. “I’m trying to, but it feels like there’s this wall between us. I don’t know.”
She thinks about it for a bit. “It might take time, but I’m sure you guys will get there.”
“Yeah, I hope. But enough about me. How’s Kade?”
Her boyfriend is in college a few hours away from her and he’s studying criminal justice. His dream is to be a detective.
Zoey sighs heavily. “He’s too far away,” she complains. “Before you called, he texted me good morning. But that wasn’t enough, so I called him and we chatted for like two hours. Ugh. I hate being so far from him.”
“But he’s not that far. Only like two hours away.”
She scowls. “Three hours.”
“That’s still fine. It’s not like he’s on the other end of the country.”
She scoffs. “When you fall in love, baby brother, you’ll see.”
“Did you just call me ‘baby?’ You do realize how old I am, right?”
“Doesn’t matter how old you are. You’ll always be my baby brother.”
I frown. “I’m only two years younger than you.”
“And?”
I grit my teeth. “Behave or I’m hanging up.”
She pouts. “Aw, my baby brother is so rude to me.”
“Zoey…”
“Okay, okay. I won’t call you that anymore. Tell me how school is. And the kids. Is anyone giving you a hard time?”
“No, everyone has been very nice. I mean, they look at me with pity sometimes, but I can’t really blame them.”
She nods. “True, but if anyone ever hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll fly to Edenbury and give them a piece of my mind.”
I let out a small chuckle. Zoey has always been tough, always protected me, not that I really needed it. But the crazy thing is she’s so tiny. Tiny, but she means business.
“Thanks, Zo, but I think I can take care of myself. I’m not a little kid anymore and I can handle anyone who tries to harm me or my friends and family.”
“You know you’re like a giant now?”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t exaggerate.”
“I’m not. You’re like a tree.”
I give her a look. “Want an apple?”
“Ha ha.” Her smile drops. “But seriously, Brock. You can talk to me. How are you really doing? Coming back home couldn’t have been easy.”
I lean back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. “No, it wasn’t easy, but I’m doing okay. I’m not completely broken, just damaged.”
“Don’t say that. You’re not damaged.”
“Every time I used to shut my eyes, I’d see his dead body lying on the street. It’s not as bad anymore, but it still happens sometimes.”
Her eyes fill with sympathy. “I wish I could hug you.”
“Ew. Just kidding.”
She sticks out her tongue at me. “And I’d kiss your cheek because I know how much you hate it.”
I give her a crooked smile. “Well, then it’s a good thing you’re so far from home.”
She laughs. “It’s really good to see you smile, Brock.”
“It feels good to smile. I mean, I think I’ll always feel guilty that I’m alive and he’s dead, but he’d want me to live.”
“He sure would.”
She tells me more about her college life and I’m glad she’s adapting well. She enjoys her classes and her freedom.
“But I miss Mom and Dad being in my business all the time. Where are they, anyway? They told me they wanted to ride their bikes.”
“Yep. They’re on their date. They didn’t want to leave me alone, but I told them I’ll be okay. I don’t mind being alone.”
“You’re not alone. You have me.” She grins.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to ruin your plans.”
She waves her hand. “I don’t have plans. Kade’s taking me out later, so I’m all yours. Tell me more about what’s going on in your life.”
I shrug. “Not much to tell. School and boring stuff. Lexi, the guys, and I watched a movie based on one of my favorite book series. They liked it.”
“That’s great. So you’re all friends again? No one has shut you out?”
I shake my head as I play with the pen on my desk. “No. They’ve accepted me like nothing has changed. They’re really amazing friends.”
“They definitely are.”
“Like your friends. You probably miss them.”
She sighs. “It’s so hard. Mia is in L.A. and Rylee is traveling somewhere in Europe. But we make sure to have online book club twice a week. We’re not giving that up.”
I smile. “I’m so happy to hear that.”
“We’ll probably end up back in Edenbury. Just like the Four Musketeers and Junior Musketeers.”
The Four Musketeers are Aunt Ally, Aunt Kara, and their friends, Dani Knight and Charlie Park. Their kids, Lily, Liam, Chloe, Ava, and Willow, are the Junior Musketeers. Zoey, Rylee, and Mia are the Musketeer Trio.
“Cool,” I tell her. “I don’t know where I’ll be. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life.”
“That’s okay. You have time. You’re talented and can accomplish anything you set your mind to.”
“Thanks, older and wiser sister.”
She bows. “This wonderful older and wiser sister of yours—”
“I never said wonderful—”
“—wants to know more about you and Lexi.”
“Ugh.” I bang my head on my desk. “Why?”
She shrugs. “Why not?”
“I already told you there’s a wall between us. What else do you want me to say? That I think she’s the smartest, sweetest, prettiest, spectacular girl I’ve ever seen?” My eyes widen and my lips press together. “I mean…”
“Oh my gosh. That’s adorable. You do like her.”
“I’m ending the call.”
“Okay, okay. We won’t talk about Lexi, but if you like her…”
I shake my head. “I’m focusing on rebuilding our friendship. We did a puzzle together last night and were close to each other…” I stop talking. Why am I telling all this to my sister? She’ll read too much into it.
“And…?” she demands.
“And nothing. We’re just friends, Zoey. I really don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to lose her as a friend again. That’ll kill me.”
She nods in understanding. “Okay. You should do what you feel is best. But promise you’ll update me on everything. I want to know when you guys kiss.”
“Goodbye, Zoey.”
She waves and ends the call. I sit for a few minutes, replaying our conversation. When we were younger, Zoey hated romance. She always scoffed when Rylee and Mia were obsessed with romantic books and movies. But ever since she fell in love with Kade, she’s been obsessed with romance, too. I know she means well and wants to see me and Lexi happy, but maybe friends is the best we could be. My heart tries to tell me that it wants more, but I push it away.
***
Uncle Zack, Aunt Ally, Uncle Brayden, and Aunt Kara are coming over for dinner, along with Noah, Evie, and their daughter, Melody. Mom and Dad have been in the kitchen for hours preparing the meal. I snuck in every so often to taste the food, which is delicious, and to offer to help, but they told me to focus on my homework.
I haven’t seen Evie or Noah in a long time, but we video chatted often when I was in Boston. And I’ve never met Melly in person. She’ll be a year old in a few months.
I help my parents set the table, and a few minutes later, the doorbell rings. Mom answers, inviting my aunts and uncles inside. After greetings and hugs are exchanged, we gather in the living room.
“I know we don’t want to spoil our dinner,” Aunt Kara says with a light laugh. She reaches into the bag she’s holding and produces a container. “I baked cookies.”
“Yum,” I say. Aunt Kara makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.
“I already had two today,” Uncle Brayden informs us as he reaches into the container. “But I’ll never say no to more.”
“Hey.” Aunt Kara playfully whacks him in the chest. “Save some for others, too.”
“Only taking one, I swear.” He takes a huge bite.
The rest of us grab cookies as well and don’t stop complimenting Aunt Kara on her amazing baking skills. Once we’re satisfied with our treats, we sit down on the couches and chairs.
I drop down near Uncle Zack, who wraps an arm around me, just like he did last week when he and Aunt Ally came over for dinner. Aunt Ally sits next to him while Uncle Brayden and Aunt Kara sit near my parents.
Uncle Zack is a social worker, helping kids in the foster care system. He and Dad were foster kids, so it’s his life mission to find good homes for kids.
“How’s it going?” he asks me.
“Good.”
Aunt Ally bends to look at me. “Did you finish all your homework?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry to be all teacher mode on you,” she says sheepishly. “It’s a habit.”
“It’s cool. Shows that you care.”
She stretches over her husband to pat my hand. “Of course we do.”
“Read any good books?” Uncle Zack asks me.
“Finished the first half of Dad’s. Did you read it?”
He nods. “Sure did. He has yet to get my feedback, though, but I know it’s driving him insane.”
All three of us turn to Dad. He stops talking to my other aunt and uncle and raises a brow. “You know I can hear every word, right?”
We don’t have a chance to respond because the doorbell rings. Dad goes to let the rest of our guests inside. Noah and Evie walk in, Noah holding their daughter.
“Hi, everyone,” Evie says with a smile. “Feels like it’s been forever since we got together.”
Aunt Ally, Uncle Zack, Aunt Kara, and Uncle Brayden hug and kiss them and their baby granddaughter, and Mom and Dad do the same.
Getting to my feet I head over to them, accepting hugs as well. We’re one big Hastings/Barrington sandwich.
After we release each other, Evie turns toward her daughter. “Melly, this is your cousin Brock. Remember we used to video chat with him?”
Melly just smiles at me.
I smile back as I pat the back of her head. “She’s even more adorable in person.” She has dark hair from Evie, but her blue eyes are from Noah.
“Thanks,” Noah says. “Do you want to hold her?”
“Sure.”
“But don’t take it personally if she cries,” Evie warns me. “She doesn’t like when strangers hold her.”
Noah hands Melly to me and I expect her to start shrieking like babies do. But she gets this expression of comfort on her face and seems to settle in my arms.
“Look at that,” Evie says. “She likes you.”
I smile at her. “Hey, Melly.” I tickle her and she giggles.
Since dinner isn’t ready yet, we sit in the living room and chat. I’m still holding the baby and she doesn’t cry. I keep her entertained with toys and funny faces, which she seems to love.
“Are you guys going back on tour?” I ask Noah, who sits next to me. “There are rumors all over Spill It! that you are.”
Evie shakes her head as she plays with Melly’s tiny hands. “Not until this precious little girl is a little older.”
“I’ll have to tell Lexi. She was wondering about it.”
Noah and Evie, like Zoey, ask me about my relationship with Lexi. I tell them the same thing I told my sister. I’m focusing on rebuilding our friendship.
A short while later, we go to the dining room to eat. We talk about random things. Aunt Kara tells us about the articles she’s working on for The Edenbury Press, and Uncle Brayden discusses how well the Edenbury High Lions are doing. Uncle Zack tells us about the two sisters he’s trying to find a home for, and Aunt Ally gushes about the new Regency book she’s reading. Mom tells us about her charity work, and Dad finally gets Uncle Zack and me to tell him what we thought about the book. One word: amazing. That seems to relax him, but he gets a little nervous when his brother says he has some notes Dad needs to look over.
Mom laughs as she kisses Dad’s cheek. “You’re so cute when you’re stressed.”
He just chuckles. “I know it’ll be okay in the end. Getting there is the problem. But I don’t want to take up all the attention. Tell us what’s up in your lives, guys.” He directs his words to Evie and Noah.
They inform us about the album they’re working on. It’ll come out later this year and they’re excited for everyone to hear it. Even though they won’t be going on tour for a while, I know many, many people will buy their music on release day. They’re pretty well known and well liked. I listen to them a lot.
The focus of the conversation shifts to Melly, who’s making a mess as she eats her food. As if she feels us all watching her, she starts crying.
“This one is quite a handful,” Evie says as she tries to quiet her down. “Was I like this, Mom and Dad?”
“Much, much worse.” Uncle Zack laughs.
“Maybe Grandma Ally will make it all better?” Aunt Ally says as she reaches for the baby. As soon as she’s in her arms, Melly does feel better.
“Can you believe it?” Uncle Zack says as he rubs Melly’s arm, then kisses the top of her head. “We’re grandparents, Ally, Kara, and Brayden. It still hasn’t fully hit me yet.”
“I know,” Aunt Kara says as she reaches to touch Melly’s hand. “Feels like only yesterday when we were in high school.”
“Making friends and falling in love,” Uncle Brayden adds as he kisses his wife’s cheek.
Aunt Ally pops a light kiss on Uncle Zack’s lips, then turns to her friends. “We’ve had quite a ride, haven’t we?”
Aunt Kara nods as she flings an arm around Aunt Ally. “All because of book club,” she says. “If you wouldn’t have walked into room 1B that day, we probably never would have become friends.”
“Or met our wonderful men.”
“So true. If not for you, Dani, and Charlie, I would never have the confidence to talk to Brayden.”
He wraps an arm around her, pulling her close to him. “I’m glad you did.”
“And if not for you guys, I would have been a social outcast,” Uncle Zack says to my aunts and uncle. “Have I ever thanked you for including me in the friend group?”
“More than once,” Uncle Brayden says with a chuckle. He slaps his hand. “We married wonderful women and have amazing kids and an adorable granddaughter. Life has been good to us.”
Uncle Zack’s face brightens, as if his sixteen-year-old self could never have imagined his life would turn out the way it did. “Yes, it has.”
Hearing them fills me with hope that I’ll be like them when I’m their age. Happy and not stuck in the past.
We continue talking and eating. It seems like we can never get enough and we don’t want the night to end. But Evie and Noah need to take Melly home and put her to bed. Aunt Kara and Uncle Brayden need to leave as well. We hug and promise to get together more often.
Aunt Ally and Uncle Zack remain a bit longer. Dad and his brother discuss Dad’s book—I’ll give him my feedback later—while, Mom, Aunt Ally, and I talk about other topics going on around town. Then they leave and I help my parents clean up the kitchen.