Chapter 25
The steady beat of a heart rate monitor draws me back to the land of the living. At first, I’m disoriented, not knowing where I am, what time it is, or even what day. Then I look down.
Axel is asleep in a chair beside me, slumped awkwardly forward, his head resting on folded arms just above the blue knitted blanket draped across my lap. That one unruly lock of hair falls into his eyes again.
I reach forward, softly brushing it back into place.
He doesn’t stir. Even in sleep, he’s beautiful.
His sharp features softened by rest: his dark, expressive brows, the stubble on his jaw, lashes long and dark enough to make any girl jealous.
I trace one finger lightly over the subtle freckles over the bridge of his nose, just trying to ground myself in something real. Something safe.
His amber eyes flash open, locking onto mine.
“Lina?” His voice is low, rough with sleep. “You with me, Princess?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I’m here.”
But I don’t want to be. Not really. Not in this sterile room. Not in this skin. My chest aches, and before I can stop it, my lip trembles. I turn my head away so he won’t see me crack.
“Hey,” he says gently, reaching for my hand. “I’m here. You’re safe.”
But the moment he touches me, my body reacts on instinct. I rip my hand away, my breath catching on a sob. He just sits there, shocked, and I cover my face with both hands, curling into myself.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “I’m sorry. I just—God, I thought I was getting better. I made so much progress and now I’m right back where I started! All because he couldn’t handle being told no!”
My voice breaks. The pain feels molten under my skin.
“You’re not back where you started,” Axel says firmly. “Even if we have to rebuild from the bottom, we rebuild. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. We all are. Every step of the way.”
His words don’t automatically fix anything, but they catch me. Keep me from falling completely into the deep, dark pit. I breathe. One ragged inhale. Then another. The shaking eases just enough.
“How long have I been here?” I ask quietly.
“A few hours,” he says. “Ben, Mom, and Johnny are here too, but I convinced them to go grab food. They’ll be back soon.”
The idea that they all came to sit with me… it floors me. I don’t come from that. I come from abandonment, from silence. From being hurt, not held.
But Axel? I didn’t even question him being here. In a short period of time, I’ve come to depend on his unwavering presence. It scares me to need someone like that. What happens when I leave, eventually? Or he leaves? That thought sours my stomach. Because what happens when he isn’t here one day?
“What about Darren?” My voice comes out hoarse.
Axel’s jaw tightens. “He’s in jail,” he says. His voice hardens, a low growl beneath it. “Where he fucking belongs.”
Knowing Darren’s locked up brings a flicker of comfort. He’s violent, entitled, out of control… the thought of him walking free makes my skin crawl. I shove it aside.
“What do I need to do to get out of here?” I ask. “I just want to go home.”
Axel’s expression falters. His jaw tightens, a deep crease appearing between his brows. I already know I’m not going to like whatever he says next.
“The police need your statement,” he says carefully. “And photos for evidence. The hospital also needs to check you out more thoroughly. When you were admitted, they did a basic evaluation, but they weren’t sure if more tests were necessary.”
I nod. “Call a nurse. I want to get it over with.”
He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and stands to leave. As the door closes behind him, I sit straighter in bed and start to armor up. If I’m going to get through this, I need to compartmentalize, and separate the present from the past. One crack in that wall and I’ll unravel.
A minute later, Axel returns with a nurse. I don’t catch her name. She’s middle-aged, competent, and clearly exhausted from a long shift. She checks my vitals, glancing between me and Axel before asking him to leave the room.
“No,” I cut in quickly. “He stays.”
She pauses, looking uncertain. “These are personal questions. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” My conviction doesn’t waver.
Axel quietly resumes his seat beside me, folding his arms, bracing himself to be my anchor. The nurse purses her lips but drops it.
“All right. First things first, do we need to perform a rape kit?”
I close my eyes, breathing through the weight of the question before forcing the word out. “No.”
At my side, Axel releases a long, relieved breath, but the nurse isn’t finished, and I sense he won’t be feeling the same by the end of this.
“I saw bruising on your knees and neck. Any possible internal injuries? Did you hit your head at any point?”
I search my memory. Darren had slammed me back against the stall, but… “I don’t think so. No.”
She nods, jotting something down.
“Last thing. Anything in your medical history? Prior abuse or sexual assault?”
My gaze flickers to Axel, then drops to my hands in my lap.
God this is hard.
My throat closes around the answer, but I force it out.
“Yes.”
“Yes, for which?”
“Both.”
The nurse gives a tight nod. “Thank you for telling me.”
She steps out to notify the police I’m ready.
I can’t look at Axel. It’s one thing for him to suspect. It’s another for him to know.
He speaks softly. “Do you still want me here for this next part?”
“I don’t think you’re going to want to hear it.”
“That’s not the point.” His voice is steady, resolute. “It doesn’t matter what I want. If you need me, I’m here. Always.”
He offers his hand with no pressure, no expectancy, just pure support. It’s a silent offering, and I take it, clinging tightly like it’s the only thing tethering me to the ground.
When the two officers step in, Axel gives my hand a firm, squeeze. His silent way of saying I’ve got you.
I take a deep breath and begin. I recount every detail I can remember, keeping my voice steady, my tone clinical.
Still, I have to stop more than once to breathe, to pull myself back from the edge.
When I reach the part where Darren forced me to perform oral sex, Axel drops his head into his hand.
I don’t look at him. I can’t. I stick to the facts.
By the time the questions are done and the photographs are taken, I feel hollow. Like there’s nothing left inside me.
Axel hasn’t let go of my hand once.
The nurse returns. “The rest of your family is here,” she says gently. “They can come in when you’re ready.”
“She needs a few minutes,” Axel answers for me. For us. She takes his word and quietly exits.
We sit in silence. Just breathing.
“I’m proud of you.”
I scrunch up my nose, confused. “For what?”
It seems like an unexpected thing to say, considering the circumstances.
“For punching Darren’s balls into his throat.”
The mental image hits, and an unexpected, unhinged laugh bubbles out of me. Axel’s lips twitch with a ghost of a smile, but it quickly fades.
“I’m gonna kill him.” A feral look passes over his eyes. His voice hard and dark.
I blink. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am,” he argues, deadly calm.
I shake my head. “We’re going to let the justice system do its job. Let them take out the trash.”
His jaw clenches. “He’ll get a slap on the wrist. You know it.”
“We don’t know that. But we’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“Fine,” he grumps with an eyeroll. “But, I’m still gonna kill the bastard.”
I exhale, letting the tension drain from my shoulders.
“Whatever you need to do...”