James
The nausea returned on my flight, but by the time I’ve landed in New York, it’s gone. All that’s left is the guilt, but something else is seeping out from it instead of sickness.
Hatred. Loathing. Rage.
That was some of the best sex of my life, I’m not going to lie. And it wasn’t because of our skills and anticipation. No, it’s because Sophia isn’t some random woman.
I care about her.
I’ve never done that. Sex has always been about conquering. About pleasure. Usually, I only stare into the eyes of a woman long enough to know she’s mine, but with Sophia… I couldn’t keep my eyes away.
Sophia. I could think about her all day, but I can’t do that without thinking of the bruises that blossom on her otherwise flawless skin.
Mentally, she does seem okay. Some people are less susceptible to trauma. But it’s more likely that some people are better at hiding it. She will have nightmares about this. She will wake in a cold sweat with a phantom pain ringing out from her gut before she realizes it was all just a dream.
So, I won’t sleep until everyone responsible for this is six feet under. But that would include myself. It was me more than anyone who put Sophia in danger. My life hasn’t always been on a knife’s edge like this. She caught me at the wrong time. It started with buying the auction house. The blackmail.
Cody wants to chat again. He sounded enraged over the phone. The body I left behind is serious evidence, and if his burglary team gets caught, the feds are only an encrypted email chain away from him.
I get in the back seat of a Mercedes and give the address to an old colonial-style house in the Hamptons.
It’s Cody’s house. I met him there when the whole charade began. It would be a fitting place for its end.
It’s a long drive, and I have a lot of time to think about what I want to do when I get inside. I have the same gun on me I used on his henchman. The police want it. But I haven’t surrendered it yet.
It still carries an uneven nine bullets after firing three into that goon.
Nine is plenty.
I’m sure Cody has that brick wall of a bodyguard with him. He’s expecting me, after all—and probably at least one other on his property. But it’s not whether I could do it; it’s about if I could get away with it.
The answer is obviously no. There will be cameras. And my phone isn’t off. Even if I turned it off now, it will have me traced heading in the direction of the Hamptons. Besides, a part of me is afraid to pull the trigger. But it’s not a fear for my own safety or life. It’s an idea. The idea of getting caught and never seeing Sophia again.
I gulp and put the pistol in the seat back in front of me. So, this is what I’ve been afraid of for so many years? This is the feeling—having something to lose.
My business never caused me the same anxiety when it was threatened. It was pure anger then. But thinking of losing Sophia… It comes with something else. Crushing pressure in my chest. A broken heart.
I shake my head wryly at my own thoughts. I really did it this time. I fell into the trap of feelings I’ve been deriding my entire life. But a new thought is dawning on me. It’s making my jaw slacken, my eyes squint stupidly.
Maybe these feelings are worth it.
Soon I’m in the Hamptons, and I step out of the car and stroll up the long brick sidewalk to Cody’s house.
I don’t have to touch the knocker. The door opens, and the same beefy security guard from just last night steps to the side to let me in.
He shuts the door. “Arms out.”
I hold my arms up, and he pats me down.
Cody steps into view. His thinning blond hair is standing on end, showing more of his shining widow’s peaks. He holds a glass of whiskey, despite the earlier hour. He’s wearing chinos and a polo and has a yellow sweater tied around his neck.
What stupid fuck did that first? All these Hamptons types love to wrap a sweater around their neck like it’s some kind of peacocking status symbol.
It makes them look like daddy’s boys. And it’s tantalizing for me, because I can’t stop picturing using it to strangle Cody to death.
“You killed my man,” Cody says in a tone like he’s a military commander.
“Sorry. I wasn’t aware you two were dating.”
“Cut the shit, . Give me one reason why your contract shouldn’t be dropped.”
“Because I fulfilled my end of the deal. You never told me an armed man was going to beat and hold hostage one of my employees. I think The Society would agree that you went back on your word if you drop Aquarius.”
Cody knows I’m right. He left me too in the dark. He turns without a word and walks deeper into the house. It’s like some 80s business power move. He wants me to follow him. I grit my teeth and have half a mind to just turn around, but I’m doing more than just talking with Cody today.
I’m casing his house.
I follow him but pluck a glass decanter of whiskey off the bar in the dining room as I go.
We pass through the kitchen, and I grab a mug from next to the coffee machine. When we finally arrive in his mahogany-walled office, I stop and pour the whiskey into the mug.
Cody turns and stares at me with his mouth open. I take my time setting down the decanter, swirling the whiskey around the mug, and taking a sip.
Two can play at stupid power moves.
“Your little heroics last night are going to cost you. The dead man’s associates want five million for his death.”
“Or what?”
“Or they talk.”
“Sounds like a you problem. I was left in the dark. I’m genuinely clean on this heist, remember?”
“Don’t act like I can’t still bring you down.”
“You mean rat me out?” I take a seat in a leather recliner.
“We’re in this together, whether you like it or not.”
“So, what do you want me to do?”
“The money is coming from your pocket.”
I sigh. It’s always about money. “Okay. I remember you saying you wanted the heist to look real, so what’s more real than me trying to stop it?”
Cody is one of those people who would rather have their circumstances be worse than be wrong. He ignores my point. “I need the money wired to a bank account in the Caymans by this evening.”
It’s a small price to pay. If this means the Department of Defense keeps my contract, I’ll wire ten times this much.
“I’ll have it done. Is there anything else you want to discuss, or did you bring me out here just for that?”
Cody leans back against his desk. He finishes his whiskey off in a quick slug and hisses through his teeth. His posturing to look like a man is ridiculous. I watch him hold his breath to keep from gagging.
“I’m disappointed in you, ,” he says finally. “You might be sorry to hear The Society was going to vote to elect you to their board this session. Not much of a chance of that now.”
“I’m not falling for that, Cody.”
“You think this blackmail scheme by me was random? It was a test and one that you failed miserably. I told you, they wanted to see if you would play by the rules.”
“Oh, come on. Spare me. That’s bullshit.”
“I can show you the memo, if you’d like. They liked your lack of family. Your commitment to your business. Without much to lose, you would be hard to be manipulated by foreign governments.”
“You’re telling those crusty fuckers all had a hand in this heist? That I just made them a combined hundred million?”
“One of those crusty fuckers is my father.”
“Yeah. He’s one of the crustier ones.” I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m fuming. I hate The Society. It’s boys club energy. But I would be lying to say a position on the board wouldn’t be one of the best things to ever happen to me professionally.
I would have power beyond what I’ve ever imagined. I could expand the company five-fold in just as many years with the military and political connections I’d garner. Now that was gone. And how close was I to having it?
If it wasn’t for Sophia, I still would’ve been pissed at being duped, but I would not have driven my Mercedes through a set of glass doors. I would not have shot one of the robbers in the face.
I would’ve been elected to the board, I realize. My face must betray me and show my emotions, because Cody smiles with his many tiny teeth.
“You were close, . An inch away, really. I thought you were starting to like your new employee. To be honest, our burglary team is so elite and equipped, they didn’t need the door code. They could’ve arc-welded their way through. We wanted to see how you’d react with the girl. Funny you should find yourself with a liability so close to the finish line, but that’s how it works sometimes.”
“You roughed her up on purpose, didn’t you?”
Cody smiles. What I wouldn’t give to make him fucking toothless. “To gauge your reaction, yes, we did. It goes without saying that I think you got an F, . Unstable. Dangerous.”
My hand tightens on my mug. I left the gun in the car, but it would be far more satisfying to use his sweater, anyway.
“And who made that decision to hurt her?”
“I did,” Cody says brightly. Like he’s not ashamed.
There it is. All I need to know.
“You see why we do these tests, right? To think you were almost in the inner circle of one of the most powerful decision-making organizations in the world.” Cody tsks. “We take vetting very seriously.”
“You’re going to pay for that. You’re going to pay for using her as a prop.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“I’m telling you.”
Cody stands stick straight and shows me his nostrils in offense. “I understand you had a rough night, so I’m going to forget you said anything. You’re going to have a rough time of it anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re banned from The Society after they meet. At least until there’s a hearing and a decision on your behavior.”
“Like I fucking care, Cody.”
“I have a hard time believing you don’t. But enjoy your girlfriend. I hope she’s worth it.” He goes behind his desk and sits. Then he opens his laptop.
Another power move, this time as a dismissal. I could make a scene. I could one up him or search for a scathing last word. But I do none of the above.
I walk from the room silently, content knowing that if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll kill him for what he did to Sophia.
I walk out the house in a haze. My thoughts are running too fast to catch. As much as my heart burns for Sophia my mind is telling me something else—I let her ruin everything.
I let my feelings for her control my life. My decisions. If I had simply fucking thought harder, I probably could’ve deduced that the entire setup with her at the auction house was a test.
But I realize I wouldn’t have let that stop me from failing. I was always going to rescue her. At least when I had these feelings for her puppeteering me.
Who am I?
Look what this has taken from me. This was a mistake. I can’t hold on to an empire and care for this woman so deeply at the same time.
It was always one over the other. I wasn’t a fool before. I knew feelings were nothing but a liability in this world. And like a cruel joke, this was proved to me the second I let my heart latch on to her.
My business here is mostly concluded. The NYPD want me to stop by the precinct for another in-person interview, but my lawyer could easily stall them. The footage is obvious. A hog-tied girl. A knife-wielding robber. Still, there’s a litany of bureaucracy that comes with killing someone, no matter how justified it is.
But I could go back to Lake George already. I could forget New York and walk through the front door and strip Sophia naked. I could carry her up to bed.
Forget the company. Forget The Society.
But that’s exactly my problem, isn’t it? I grimace as I get into the back of the Mercedes.
“Back to my apartment, Lucas,” I say, sighing, and lean my head against the seat.
“Very good, sir.”
I bite my thumbnail while we drive. I’m behaving like an animal. There’s no collected, computer-like control of my faculties. Or my decisions. I’m not in control anymore. My rational brain reaches one conclusion. One that my heart has been attempting to suffocate.
It’s Sophia that I have to forget.