41. Lily #3
Why is she crying?
The camera zooms in on her mouth. I ignore her full lips, focusing on what she’s about to say.
“I love you.” My heart sinks when I read her lips.
No, no, no.
This is a bad joke. It has to be.
“I love you, too .”
Four words that ripple out of the mouth of the man I’m so crazy about, landing in a lake like a cannon ball.
The air turns to concrete in my lungs.
I’m living a nightmare.
For several seconds, all I can do is choke on the shock of those words .
My panicked thoughts spiral.
Blood roars in my ears.
The jealousy I felt before is dwarfed in comparison to the cyclone whirling inside me.
An invisible hand wraps around my heart and squeezes hard.
Gage kisses her forehead with tenderness.
He cares for this woman.
No, Lily, he loves her.
Ba boom.
Ba boom.
Ba boom.
There’s a chaotic chorus going on in my head––and in my heart. My poor heart. I fight not to bring my hand up to it to rub at the pain at my chest.
The video stops and jumps to another scene.
Gage and a short man in a suit that doesn’t look as sharp as Gage’s is stuffing designer luggage in the trunk of a car. The tall woman he professed his love to is standing next to him.
She doesn’t travel light.
The short man closes the trunk and rushes to open the passenger door.
Gage reaches out for the woman’s hand and guides her inside the vehicle. Before he closes the door, she reaches out and caresses his face.
My heart shatters in a million pieces.
The video cuts again.
The next shot shows the driver pulling out his and hers luggage from the trunk.
In the next shot, Gage embraces the woman in his arms, and together, they walk towards the entry to Van Nuys Airport. As they’re about to enter, Gage drops a soft kiss on the woman’s forehead .
She smiles up at him.
What.
The.
Fuck.
He said he hadn’t been with a woman since his mom died three years ago.
He said he was going to Sweden and South Korea alone.
He had nothing but contempt for cheater Judson and his deceiving ex-girlfriend.
He lied?
I thought I could trust him.
I’m such a fool.
No wonder I haven’t heard from him in days.
I figured between the time difference and his demanding schedule, he was overwhelmed.
Since I didn’t want to come across as needy, I didn’t push.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
I feel the weight of my father’s stare on me.
My eyes lift up to meet his.
His smirk suggests he’s proud of himself.
It would’ve been less painful had he pushed me in front of a moving train.
I will my hand to stop shaking, and give him back his phone.
He takes it, the smug expression on his face turning sinister.
A long, heavy silence passes between us before he deigns answering my question.
“You weren’t receptive at the idea of going to California to check out film schools.
Alder sees you in Malibu hand-in-hand with Gage, and a few days later, you inform me after the fact , you extended your trip.
It was clear film schools weren’t the reason why.
” The disappointment in his tone is clear and cutting.
“So, I decided to do a little digging into Gage, since I had a sneaky suspicion he prompted your decision.”
Manipulation comes naturally to my father, and this is further proof. Who needs a gun or a knife when backstabbing is your weapon of choice?
Conniving weasel.
“I told you to be careful with those Hollywood-slash-LA men.” He shakes his head, tsking.
“She’s the one he loves.” He points at his phone.
You”—he points at me—“were nothing more than a plaything.” He leans back against his seat, his gaze slithering over me.
“Now, do you still want to move to LA, Lily?”
I can’t speak.
“Sending you to Los Angeles was the biggest mistake.” His eyes slash through me like a sword slashing through my withering pride.
Spine stiffening, I force my lips not to tremble.
Don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him see how much he’s destroyed you.
“Not only did you get entangled with Gage, you lost your virginity to a player.”
Whoa.
How did he know I was a virgin until LA? I sure as hell never had the birds and the bees talk with him.
“On top of that stupid decision, you went and lost your phone.” More venom spills from his lips. “When you bought a phone in LA instead of calling me to request a new one, I no longer had tracking software on it?—”
“You had your tech guys install tracking software on my phone without my knowledge?”
“Two years ago, after you called me on the landline from the Paris apartment to let me know you had dropped your phone in the Seine River by mistake, I became suspicious. When I sent you a new phone, I had a tracking device installed on it. Jean-Philippe’s wife’s waters burst at the opportune time. That baby saved your virginity.”
I’m shellshocked.
“I’ve been tapping into your conversations and text messages ever since?—”
“That’s a grotesque invasion of my privacy.”
He shrugs. “It was an insurance policy.”
This shows how little respect he has for me.
When douchebag Jean-Philippe texted me to have sex after his wife gave birth, I was so angry, I tossed my phone in the river after I blocked his ass. I agreed to my father sending me a new one. I had no idea I was giving him a window into my life.
“Virginity is a commodity,” he says.
I flinch. “Excuse me?”
“You have more value to a man if he’s the one to take your virginity.”
My head just exploded.
“In regards to your marriage to Giuseppe, we might have to pretend you used to be an avid rider growing up?—”
I shoot to my feet. “We’re done with this conversation.”
Theside of his mouth quirks. “Are we?”
He’s amused?
Jerk.
He doesn’t appreciate being told whatto do, and certainly not by me.
I stick to my guns. “I don’t care if Gage Hollingsworth is in love with another woman.” That’s a blatant lie. I care. I fucking care. Tears of sorrow pool in my eyes, but I blink them away. “I’m not marrying Giuseppe.” I stab a finger on the table to drive my point.
“You aren’t giving the guy a chance. Let’s have lunch?—”
“I’m not having lunch with Giuseppe. ”
His eyes widen. “Are you shouting at me?”
“Yes, I’m shouting!”
All I’ve ever wanted was my father’s acceptance, attention, and love.
But now that he wants to sell me off like an asset for his financial gain, disregarding my views on the matter, I wish Mama hadn’t planned it so I’d end in this man’s care.
In his eyes, I’ll never be good enough to deserve his love. I’m done keeping hope alive.
My father opens his mouth to speak, but I lift a hand. “Forget about me attending film school in New York or anywhere else on the planet. I don’t want to run a PR firm.” I’m riled up. “I don’t want to have anything to do with Chandler’s career.”
“You don’t get a say in the matter?—”
“I’m done with you being my fucking puppet master.”
My father’s head jerks back.
Yeah, I’m unleashed. I point a finger at him. “I shouldn’t have to bend backwards for you to love me. You’ve had eight years to accept me.” My voice cracks. Why is my heart not immune to the way he treats me?
“Lily—”
“This scenario is fucked up. If you’re that desperate for a merger with the DeMaros, get your current girlfriend to marry Giuseppe.
You’re going to dump her soon anyway and move onto another flavor.
She might not be your daughter, but you treat her with far more respect than you treat me.
Also, her life goal is to marry into way, way more money. ”
My father’s eyes are so wide, they take over his face.
“And, she’s as malleable as Giuseppe. It’s a win-win?—”
“In this family, the good of all, trumps the good of one.”
He thinks I owe him for the fact he took care of me.
I went from being a dirty little secret to a pawn?
Fuck that .
“I’m not marrying Giuseppe.” I stand my ground. “If you want to disown me, go right ahead. I’m done begging for scraps.” I snatch my handbag from the seat next to me and rush towards the door.
“You need a little time to mull it over,” my father says from over my shoulder.
“I’m sure you’ll have a change of heart by the time we all gather out East for the important party I’m throwing for Chandler.
Big players will be present—including the DeMaros.
You and Giuseppe can get to know each other better while you’re in the Hamptons. ”
I halt my step and turn around. “Did you hear a word I said?”
He brushes off invisible lint from his suit jacket. “Talk is cheap, Lily. If I disown you, you’ll have nothing to your name other than a degree from a Paris university. You can’t even boast being bilingual since your French is broken at best.”
Wow.
“You don’t have any work experience. I doubt you have what it takes to survive on a minimum wage salary. If I were you, I’d think long and hard before saying anything that might come back and bite you in the ass.”
His treacherous words are as murderous as bullets, even though his only weapon is his mouth.
“You’re a manipulative monster.”
“I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich. The latter is much better.
Being flat broke in New York City is no joke.
” His eyes harden when he says, “You were dirt poor in a shitty town in a shitty apartment in Alabama when I sent for you. You want to live hand to mouth again? Once you cool your jets, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. ” That stupid smirk again.
“Go to hell, Father!” With that, I run out of the room. I slam the door behind me so hard, I’m surprised it doesn’t come off its hinges .
As I rush down the corridor, my stomach revolts.
Oh God, I’m going to be sick again.
Panicked, I search around until I find the bathroom sign.
I bolt towards it, bursting through the door so hard, it crashes with a thundering bang against the wall.
I don’t make it to the stall.
I bend over the sink and throw up.
For a few agonizing minutes, it’s hell as my body freaks out on me.
When my stomach settles, I wash my mouth and press cold water against my cheeks. It’s in vain. My face is on fire.
With a hard sniff, I push myself off the counter I’m gripping for dear life. When I catch sight of the sadness reflecting in my eyes in the mirror, I break down. My body shudders as I sob. I’m inconsolable.
Fisher Edgington is a horrible man.
And Gage Hollingsworth is a two-faced asshole.
A river of tears floods my eyes, blurring my vision, and I’m crying in earnest now, my body trembling with sobs as sorrow eats at my heart.
I was nothing more than a dumb virgin Gage could feed lies to.
I’m across the country. How was I ever going to know he was leading a double life?
My deep-seated fear of rejection that’s plagued me since my mom died, rears its ugly head.
An overwhelming surge of sadness hits me, and my throat tightens up. I’m certain I’m about to throw up again, but no, it’s only heartache.
I hate myself for having succumbed to Gage’s charm. I’m pathetic for allowing a man to reduce me to this. I promised myself I’d never follow in Mama’s footsteps and fall for a guy who was taken .
I’ve done it twice.
Gage was a grumpy bear from the moment I met him. I should’ve welcomed his cold attitude like an omen.
I should’ve kept it to scoping out film schools.
I should’ve never gone to Rhys’s birthday party.
I should’ve never kissed him.
And I should’ve never slept with him.
I cry so hard, I give myself a headache.
It takes a while before my sobs quiet.
I wipe away my tears and blow my nose.
My puffy face is it telltale sign I’m having a shit day.
I need to go home and sleep for the next week. Or month.
I compose myself, breathing in and out a few times.
Don’t waste your tears on that man. He doesn’t deserve them.
As broken as my heart is at this moment, I need to muster up the energy to get out of here. I pull the strap of my handbag over my shoulder, and march towards the door.
I search for an exit sign, but I can’t find one.
Crap.
I was hoping to avoid going through the main restaurant.
This day keeps getting better and better.
With my head hung low, I focus on putting one foot in front of the other as I trail towards the restaurant. No one pays me any attention as I pass by table after table of patrons.
I’m home free ? —
“Hey, Lily!”
My eyes shoot up.
Giuseppe waves. Bouncing off the barstool he’s sitting on, he rushes towards me.
Dammit.
He stops in front of me, his frame tensing. His smile disappears and his eyes widen. “What happened? ”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“We could go somewhere else and hang out. We don’t have to talk. I want to be here for you.”
Man, this guy drank some of my father’s Kool-Aid. Scratch that. He probably had an immersion baptism in said Kool-Aid.
This madness has gone too far. “Listen, Giuseppe, whatever arrangement your father and my father have, I want no part of it––”
“Our fathers are dead set on this union––”
“I don’t care.”
“It will benefit both our families. That’s how dynasties are built.”
“I. Don’t. Care.”
He reaches out for me.
I jerk away from his touch.
A few patrons stare up from their plates, eyebrows cocked.
“Okay.” He nods. “You need a little time––”
“I don’t need more time to accept this preposterous idea.” I’m making a scene and I don’t give a damn. “I’m not dating you. I’m not marrying you.” I set Giuseppe-slash-John straight. “And I don’t want to see you ever again.” Like a demented woman, I bolt out of the restaurant.