32. Chapter 32
Chapter 32
“It’s fine. Totally fine,” I muttered as I entered the house and dropped my bags on the coffee table. “The fact that I’m talking to myself is not an indication that I’m bothered by this.”
I’m such a liar.
Coconut trotted over on her short little legs and looked up at me with plaintive blue eyes before letting out the saddest mew ever. I picked her up and cuddled her into my neck.
“Awww, poor baby. Did you miss me?” She purred in response, and my frayed nerves settled just a bit. There was nothing like a tiny kitty motor to soothe a person.
I settled on the couch and gave her all the attention she needed—kisses, strokes, ear scratches—and when she was satisfied, she curled up on my lap and went to sleep.
My mind drifted back to Hawk. I’d caught glimpses of the two brunettes near him all day, but knowing he had a hotel room all to himself brought on a rush of emotions I hadn’t expected. Or wanted.
We were casual, right? We hadn’t really discussed where this was headed because we both already knew. I was moving out in a little over a month, and then we would go our separate ways .
We’d occasionally see each other if I went to one of their functions with Cam, but I imagined we would just smile at each other as we both thought of the sexy memories we made together this summer.
The problem? We were so different. Casual or not, I couldn’t imagine letting another man touch me while I was having… relations or whatever you wanted to call it, with Hawk. But he was different, definitely not the monogamous type.
I was aware of that going in, but the idea of him fucking random chicks was disturbing. How would they do it? I’d read one why choose book, but that was with three guys and a girl. Three holes and three penises… I got that. Two girls and a guy though?
My mind took me to a place I’d rather not visit, with Hawk lying on a hotel bed, the lighting dim, one woman riding his thick, pierced cock and the other riding his bearded face. Their big boobs—which he apparently likes, according to Bode—bouncing.
Hawk was the most virile man I’d ever met, so I knew he’d have no problem handling more than one woman. Sadness flooded through me. I wasn’t sure I could take our sexual relationship any further if I knew he was screwing other women at the same time.
The ringing of my phone startled me, and I reached for my backpack and pulled it out to see my dad’s name on the screen. That made me smile.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Hey, sweetheart. How did your book thing go today?”
“It was good. My friend Megan went with me, and I also hung out with the wives of some of Cam’s friends. They’re so sweet and welcoming.”
I could hear the happiness in his voice. “I’m glad, Mal. And how are things with your roommate? Hawk, right?”
Wincing at his name, I forced a cheeriness into my tone. “Great! He’s made it his mission to feed me ice cream sundaes since he found out I’d never had one before.”
There was silence for a beat. “Never?”
“No, Daddy. Mama wouldn’t let me have ice cream, not even at birthday parties when the rest of my friends were having it. I was allowed a tiny sliver of cake, but that’s all.”
“Ah, hell, baby.” I could imagine him rubbing his hand down his face. “She really controlled you, didn’t she?”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I tried not to let him hear them in my voice. “She did, but I’m speaking to a counselor regularly. She’s really helped me a lot with establishing my boundaries.”
“If I’d only been home more… I didn’t realize, baby.”
“Don’t blame yourself. Please don’t. I thought it was normal until…” Until she didn’t believe I was almost sexually assaulted. Or didn’t care. I pushed that thought aside and finished with, “Until I grew up a bit.”
“Do you need money for the counselor? I happen to have some extra lying around since my daughter got a grant for her full tuition.” The pride in his tone warmed me, and I swiped away the tears rimming my eyelids.
“No, it’s free, but thank you.” An idea struck me. “Why don’t you use that money to take Mama somewhere? Like a vacation. Merrit—that’s my counselor—said the best way to help her cut the apron strings is for her to get involved in other activities. To find a focus other than me. ”
“Well, huh.” I could hear his brain working. “Some of your mom’s crafting friends and their husbands are going on a cruise, and they invited us…”
“You should go,” I said immediately.
“But it’s in December, Mal. During your Christmas break.”
Hearing that, my heart and brain were in conflict, but I allowed my brain to win. “It’s okay, Dad. We can video chat, and I can fly up there for a week or so before or after. I want you to go.”
“But what about you?”
“I have Cam and Shiloh. Their house should be ready by then, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me staying with them for a couple weeks.”
“Huh,” Dad said again. “As long as you’re with family, I guess it would be okay. I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, and I really don’t mind. I’m a big girl and can fend for myself while you two have some fun. You deserve to relax, Dad. You never take your vacation days.”
“I know, and I regret that now. I should have been around more when you were little, but it seemed like you were always gone to some dance competition or training or something. So I threw myself into work. I thought you were having fun.”
“I was,” I assured him. “I did enjoy dance a lot, and I’m starting to again. I’m teaching now. I have five private students, and they’re paying me an exorbitant amount of money. I actually feel guilty sometimes,” I said with a laugh.
“You shouldn’t, baby. You’re so talented, and I’m glad you’re using your talents to do what you want now. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I said, almost choking on my emotions. I missed him so much.
After we hung up, I reached for one of the bags and pulled out a book, one Megan had bought today and loaned to me. It was a dark romance, and she told me to give it a try to see if I liked it.
Needing the distraction, I opened it and began to read.
“Wow,” I mumbled, “definitely not a slow burn.” There was an explicit sex scene in the prologue, and I quickly fell into the words on the page.
A mafia don, Lorenzo, had a one-night-stand with a woman named Lia, but when she slipped from his penthouse apartment in the dead of night, he became obsessed with her. Had to have her. So he did what any reasonable person would do. He kidnapped Lia.
Before I even realized it, I was a quarter way through the book. When my stomach growled, I put one of my new bookmarks in and went to the kitchen, making myself a plate of leftover lasagna.
After eating and changing into my pajamas, I went straight back to the book. I was as obsessed with Lorenzo as he was with Lia. I guessed it didn’t hurt that he reminded me a lot of Hawk. His unerring dominance. His possessiveness.
I adored Lia’s spunk as well. She threw things at the sexy bastard every time he entered her room to check on her, which he did often. I mean, he was a complete psycho, but much like Hawk, he wouldn’t take her without her consent, and I liked that very much about the character.
Lorenzo had certainly done his homework before he abducted Lia. He’d had her room painted in a soft teal because he knew it was her favorite color, and he’d knocked out the wall between her room and the one beside it so she could have her own personal library. Each day, he brought her a bowl of Skittles because he knew she loved them, but not before having one of his staff remove all the yellow ones because he knew she hated them.
As I read, Lia’s attitude began to slowly shift, and Lorenzo’s obsession turned to love. She saw that. Saw the gentle way he treated her despite his normally brutish demeanor. Then one day, she kissed him.
And that was all the permission he needed. The man went feral on her, tossing her on the bed and burying his face between her legs until she was damn near unconscious with pleasure.
When she awoke from her nap, he fucked her. Ruthlessly and for hours. With his hand around her throat, he drove into her from behind, his body taking what it had been wanting for months.
Shit, that’s hot. Why is that so hot?
As the scene went on for pages, my neck began to sweat, and things were feeling very swollen between my legs. When my phone rang, it startled me so much, I dropped the book on the floor and lost my place. Snagging the device, I saw it was after eleven.
I couldn’t hold back the little shiver that shot down my spine when Hawk’s name appeared on the screen. Whether from desire or trepidation, I wasn’t sure.
“Hey, Bee,” he said when I answered. His voice was deep and low, conjuring memories of the way he spoke when his dick was in my mouth.
“Hey.”
“I just got back to the room.”
“Okay.” I was apparently the master of one-word answers tonight .
“I’m alone.”
“All right.” Wow, two actual words. Progress.
“I know you heard what the guys were saying today, so I wanted you to know that I came back to my room by myself.”
“Am I supposed to take that as some kind of sacrifice on your part?”
His sigh sounded like pure frustration. “No, Bee. I had no desire to bring anyone to my room. Not any of the women here anyway.”
What the…
“I don’t know what that means.”
His chuckle vibrated through my ear. “I don’t either, to be honest.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “I had offers. Ones I would normally jump on.” My stomach tightened at that.
“Why didn’t you?”
Another beat of silence followed my whispered question before he followed with one of his own. “Can we FaceTime?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Ten seconds later, he appeared on my screen, his hair damp as if he’d just showered, and his chest and shoulders were bare. He looked damn yummy.
Picking up right where we’d left off, he said, “I didn’t want anyone in my room because I just wanted to settle in and call you.”
That made me smile, and I didn’t even try to mask it. “Because you missed my sparkling personality?”
He laughed, flashing those perfect white teeth, and dammit, why is he so effing attractive? “Something like that.” His eyes moved slowly around the screen, like he was memorizing my face. “I know you were upset today, so I wanted to call and set your mind at ease.”
I chewed on my bottom lip for a second, deciding how to respond. “You’re single, Hawk. I know that, and I know you have… needs.”
“All my needs are currently being met,” he replied, his eyebrows inching together, and my heart stuttered in my chest. “I don’t fuck around because I have to . It’s a choice I made a long time ago.”
“Because you don’t trust women because of how your mother was?”
“That’s part of it, and it’s not that I don’t know there are trustworthy women out there. I just don’t want to end up like my dad. I told you most of that story, but…” His lips rolled inward, and his eyes glazed over.
I kept my voice soft. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’d be happy to listen if you need to get it off your hairy little chest.”
He smiled at that. “Pain in my ass.”
“You like me being a pain in your ass. It keeps you on your toes.”
“That it does,” he replied, shifting until he was lying down on his back with his phone propped on his chest. I could see a light wood headboard behind him and a crisp white pillowcase on the pillow beneath his head.
He was quiet for a moment before he started speaking. “So, I told you my parents got a divorce after the incident with Jennifer.” I nodded. “After that, my dad retired from the Marine Corps. He started drinking. A lot. Like piss-drunk every night. He literally drank himself into an early grave.”
My heart broke a little. I couldn’t imagine losing my dad. “Hawk, I’m so sorry. ”
He nodded. “I found him. He didn’t show up for work one day, so I went to his house to check on him. He’d aspirated his own vomit and choked to death in his sleep.”
I covered my mouth with my hand as tears filled my eyes.
Hawk swallowed hard. “My mother blamed me for his death. She said if I hadn’t lost my shit so badly the cops had to be called, we could have, and I quote, swept the whole thing under the rug.”
My hand slapped the couch in anger, startling the cat, who mean-mugged me and stalked away into the kitchen. “That’s complete bullshit. He was attacking your sister!”
“I know, but shit like that sticks with you. I know she was deflecting because she was in the wrong and looking for someone else to blame. But that shit still sticks with you.”
My heart was in pieces. Hawk was so damaged on the inside, the events of one night forever altering his perception of himself.
“You can’t blame yourself.”
His dark eyes held every emotion he was feeling. Regret. Sadness. Guilt.
“And yet I do. If I hadn’t lost it like that…” He shrugged those big shoulders which carried more than their burden.
“That’s why you always need to be in control.”
He rubbed his hand over his mouth, fingers trailing through his black beard. “Yeah.” His mouth turned down at the corners. “Please don’t cry, baby. I hate seeing you upset.”
I realized tears were streaming down my face and swiped them away. “You’re such a good man, Tate Gentry.”
He didn’t say anything, but I could tell by the slight dipping of his eyes that he didn’t believe my words .
“I mean it. You’re telling me about something horrible that happened to you, and all you’re worried about is that I’m crying. You’re sweet down below all that hardness.”
He blinked and shifted his eyes to the side, embarrassed at my praise. “Anyway, the point of telling you all that is so you’d understand why I am like I am. I made certain choices about my life, but it doesn’t mean I have to sleep around all the time.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that as long as we’re doing… whatever this is we’re doing… I won’t be with any other women.”
Well, that was a shocker. “Why?”
“Number one, it would be disrespectful to you, and number two, I just don’t want to.”
I wished I was there so I could touch his face, press my lips against his beard, run my finger down his straight nose and over the creases in his forehead.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “I know we’re just having some fun together until I leave in August, but hearing you say that makes me feel better.”
He nodded. “I didn’t mean to get all heavy on you. I just wanted to call and put your mind at ease since you got so jealous earlier.”
There was a teasing quality to his tone, so I lifted my eyebrows. “Jealous? Need I remind you of the Xander incident?”
“Who the fuck is Xander?”
“The rock star guy?”
Hawk’s nose scrunched up. “Yeah, fuck that prick.”
I laughed for the first time in hours. “I miss not having you here tonight. ”
His mouth softened into a smile. “You miss me?”
Shrugging with faux nonchalance, I said, “Meh, not really. I was just trying to be nice.”
His grin turned wicked. “I think you’re missing my mouth on your pussy. You’ve gotten addicted to coming every night this week, and now your body is craving me.”
He nailed it a hundred percent, but I deflected. “I think it’s the other way around. You called me because you were imagining where on my body you were going to come next.”
Hawk’s perfectly etched mouth parted on a groan. “Actually, I was thinking about coming inside your body, not on it.”
My thighs smashed together, seeking some much-needed friction at the images that brought to mind. “I want that, but… I’m not experienced. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
His lips ticked up at the edges. “You could never disappoint me, Bee. I’ve had my fingers and my tongue inside your tight little cunt, and it’s perfect.” He closed his eyes and moaned as his body shifted. “Just thinking about being inside you has got me so hard I’m going to have to jerk off before I can even sleep.”
My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I caught movement from his right arm. Is he touching himself right now?
Before I could process my words, I asked, “Can I watch?”
His eyes popped open and then narrowed, a look of pure, carnal desire taking root there. “If I can watch you too.”
Hoo boy .
“Tell me what to do.”
“Go to my bedroom,” he said, and I stood without question and headed down the hallway. “Good, baby. Prop the phone up on the dresser and strip for me.”
“Are you going to play some sexy music for me?” I teased, earning me a laugh.
“Not this time, but now I’m not going to be able to stop thinking of it. Will you do that for me some time when I’m there to get the full effect?”
I nodded as I leaned my phone against the large mirror and took a step back. Hawk’s gaze drifted appraisingly up and down my body, his eyes like black molten lava.
“Take your shirt off first. Slowly.” His command was a smooth seduction, and I wasn’t sure I could have denied him even if I wanted to. Crossing my hands at my waist, I gripped the bottom hem of my tank top and peeled it inch by inch up my body and over my head.
“Fuck yeah. Just like that, baby. Cup your tits for me.” I did, rolling my nipples between my fingers and thumbs. “I enjoyed fucking those babies last night, Bee. I’m not sure I’ve ever come that hard or that much.”
“You were very… productive,” I added, and he gave me a self-satisfied smirk.
“That was all because of you. How firm and round those pretty tits are. How smooth your skin felt against my cock. Mmmm.” His hum was low and gritty, triggering my pussy to soak my panties.
“I can see the mark I left on the underside. You like me marking you as mine, don’t you, baby?”
Dear god. Why is that so fucking hot?
I bobbed my head up and down, and Hawk narrowed his eyes. “I need to hear your words, Mallori.”
“Yes, I like it.”
“Close your eyes, pretty girl. Can you imagine my mouth on your nipples?”
“Yes,” I breathed, shutting my eyelids and thinking of his tongue, his lips, his teeth.
“Your nipples are the most gorgeous shade of pink. Imagine that’s my mouth while you pull on them.” I gave them each a small tug, and he growled. “No, harder. You know exactly how I would do it. You know I can’t be gentle when I have your tits in my mouth.”
“Hawk,” I whimpered, “I think I could come from just listening to your voice.” I opened my eyes to find him smiling at that.
“Don’t come just yet, sweetheart. I want your fingers in that tasty little cunt when you come. Show me your panties now.”
Abandoning my breasts, I hooked my fingers into my soft ivory sleep shorts and pushed them down, standing to reveal my matching lace boy shorts.
“Fuck, Little Bee. I want to eat you out through the lace one night. It will drive you crazy being able to feel my mouth on you but with that thin barrier.”
“You’re already driving me crazy,” I complained, and he chuckled.
“Touch yourself over the lace.” Lowering my hand, I did as he asked, rubbing my fingers over my swollen sex. “How does it feel?”
“Wet. A little rough. Like I could almost get there but not quite.”
He nodded his approval. “Take them off and take the phone to my bed. Prop it up on a pillow between your knees so I can see my next meal.”
Sweet fucking hell. I’d never been this turned on in my life. His easy, sultry commands made me want to beg him to come home and take care of me.
Once I was situated on the bed, I folded a pillow beneath my head so I could see the phone between my legs. Hawk had done some repositioning of his own, and his big, hard dick was center stage on my screen.
“Damn, I think I need a bigger phone,” I commented and heard his deep laugh.
“Something to remember when it’s time for an upgrade. Now spread your legs wider for me. Mmmm, that’s my good girl.”
Holy fuck. I never thought I’d be into the whole good girl thing, but then again, I never dreamed a man like Hawk Gentry even existed in real life. His voice was the stuff of wet dreams. He could recite potato salad recipes and shoot me straight into orgasmic bliss.
“You like when I call you my good girl, don’t you, baby? I can see the evidence dripping onto my sheets.”
My face flushed with heat and embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll wash them before you get home.”
“Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare,” he gritted out. “If my bed doesn't smell like you when I get home, I’ll turn you over my knee. I swear to god, Mallori.”
My pussy tightened with need as I remembered a scene from the book I’d been reading where Lorenzo had spanked Lia over his knee. It was the hottest scene I’d ever read, and the thought of Hawk’s hand coming down on my bare ass had even more wetness seeping from me.
He noticed, because of course he did.
“Mmm. You like that thought, don’t you, Bee?”
“Yes,” I admitted, sliding my hands up and down my thighs.
“Good. You can touch your pussy now while I talk to you. Keep your eyes on the screen so you can see how much I want you.”
Spreading my legs further apart, I circled my clit with one finger at the same time Hawk gave a long stroke of that magnificent cock.
“I want to bend you over my legs and spank your beautiful ass, Bee. I want to see your skin bloom pink with my handprint. Never red, angel, just the perfect shade of pink.”
His dick dripped as he talked, and he used it to lubricate the firm slide of his hand up and down his thick erection. He occasionally flicked one of his piercings with his index finger. I was mesmerized.
“Your pussy is so wet for me. Slide two fingers inside and fuck yourself slowly.” I did, feeling the slick tightness of my walls. “That’s it. And after I spank you, I’m going to put you on all fours on the bed and enter you from behind.”
“Yes,” I panted, almost there already. “I want you to. As soon as you get home tomorrow.”
His fist stalled for a brief second before resuming its sensual stroking. “There’s nothing I’d like more, baby,” he said on a deep rasp. “It’s all I can think about. Bending you over. Riding that ass like a fucking beast. Feeling my hips slap against your bottom.”
His hand was moving faster, and my own matched his pace, screwing myself until my orgasm brewed just beneath the surface.
“Tate, I’m almost there. Keep talking.”
“I want you wearing a ponytail so I can wrap my fist around it and pull you back onto my cock. Faster and faster. I wouldn’t be able to control myself if I felt that tight little pussy wrapped around me. ”
My hips lifted to meet my fingers, rolling and grinding as Hawk’s hand gripped his cock and pulled with a force that looked almost painful.
“I want to be rough with you, Mallori. I want to fuck you into the goddamn mattress until you’re sore for days.”
“I’m about to come,” I cried as I began to crest.
“Your face. Let me see your face when you come for me,” he snapped, and I reached with one hand to grab my phone. Hawk did the same until all I could see was his beautiful face on my screen, his lips parted as he groaned through his own impending orgasm.
We laid face-to-face and watched each other fall apart, and it was the most intimate moment of my life. Hawk was breathing as heavily as I was, his eyes heavy-lidded as I saw his movements slow and then stop.
“You take my fucking breath away when I see you come, Mallori.”
My heart turned into a giant butterfly for a few seconds and then slowed to its usual rhythmic duh-dum, duh-dum beating.
“I like watching you too,” I admitted, which made him smile.
We stared at each other in silence until my eyelids began to droop, and Hawk said, “Go to sleep, baby,” before adding his final directive of the night. “In my bed.”
I followed it without question.