Chapter 35
Bring to a simmer and boil over
Amelia
Afew hours later, I have to remind myself multiple times that I love my best friend as I navigate the rehearsal dinner.
It probably wasn’t even Bean that decided it should be so formal. It was most likely Tiffany’s idea. But it’s annoying no matter who picked it, since we already have to be formal tomorrow for the wedding.
Alex has been wearing jeans and T-shirts all week, but now he’s in a suit and tie. God, he looks so damn sexy in suits.
My dress is fancier than what I usually wear to work, but it’s still too reminiscent of our normal office attire.
“Fucking hell,” I hear Grant mutter. He, Leon, and Travis all have their ties in various states of disarray. Dax is the only one of them who has his actually tied. “Why couldn’t we get clip-ons like the kids?”
“Because you’re all old enough that you should know how to do this!
” I stomp over and grab my oldest brother’s tie, and in just a few seconds, it’s perfect.
I move on to Leon, then Travis, and laugh when my dad and Johnny both step up next.
Shaking my head, I tie each of theirs as well and get kisses on the cheek in return.
Dad looks over his shoulder and chuckles. “Alex, don’t you wear these damn things every day? How is your tie so screwed up?”
“I’m only good at tying it in the first place. Then I start touching it without even realizing it, and I’m trash at getting it back in place,” he grumbles, still fucking with his tie.
“Well, come on, let Minnie fix it since she’s apparently an expert. Then we can do the whole rehearsal thing, take a few pictures, and have some dinner.”
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. I can’t just refuse to fix Alex’s goddamned tie without looking like a complete bitch.
I still contemplate doing so for a few seconds before I turn around and reach for it, my hands trembling.
His cologne fills my lungs. My gaze doesn’t leave the silk and I fight tears as I gently bring the knot to the base of his neck, memories of us overwhelming me.
“Thank you,” he says quietly. I nod and walk away quickly without looking him in the eye once. I know we need to talk at some point, but I’m tired and cranky, and it’s just so hard to be around him and deal with everything else that’s going on right now.
We take some pictures, then run through the ceremony a few times.
Raelynn is adorable as the flower girl and makes a show of throwing invisible petals each time.
And as I thought, Henry is the cutest damn thing, carrying the little pillow that will have the rings tied to it tomorrow.
They walk together and high-five each other every time they get to the front.
I’m the third bridesmaid to walk down the aisle and am escorted by one of Calvin’s friends, who keeps putting his hand on my lower back. I’m going to have to up my threat of breaking his fingers to chopping off his balls.
After the maid of honor and best man reach the front, Alex walks Bean down the aisle.
He looks even more handsome than he normally does.
His eyes find mine every time, holding my gaze until he turns to smile at his daughter.
He moves to his seat next to Tiffany and she keeps putting her hand on his arm, but I feel his gaze on me, building a fire in my core that won’t die down.
I like it too much.
By the time dinner’s finished, I’m a mess of nerves and arousal. I can’t stop glancing at Alex, and every time I do, he’s already looking at me.
My parents have a suite with bunk beds in one room and are gluttons for punishment because all the younger kids are having a big sleepover there.
The older boys are in the next room over, but are allowed to hit the pool for a while before curfew.
They’ll probably stay up half the night watching movies and eating junk food.
I don’t know what Grant, Haven, or Dax are doing, but they’re all old enough that it’s not my business.
As the dining room clears out, I see Alex staring at me again. Tiffany leans in close, pressing her tits against his arm, and whispers in his ear. He turns toward her and I take the chance to escape.
“I’m heading to my room unless you need me for anything,” I tell Bean.
“Are you okay? You don’t look okay, Minnie.” Her voice is low and filled with concern.
“Just… It’s been a long day, after a long night out with very little sleep.”
She wraps me up in a hug. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning. Love you, Min.”
“Love you, too, Bean.”
I make my way to the elevator and press the button for my floor once I’m inside. Right before the doors close, Alex steps in. “Amelia,” he growls.
Then his mouth is on mine, and he’s kissing the ever-loving fuck out of me, and I’m kissing him back just as hard.
His hands go to my hips, pressing me back against the elevator wall.
I run my palms up his chest, gripping his shirt in my fists, pulling him even closer as I moan.
His tongue dips into my mouth, his hard cock presses against my stomach, and my panties are soaked.
The elevator dings, the sound dredging up the memories of that night, reminding me of how much I was hurting when I ran after he said we were a mistake. How much I’m still hurting.
I pull away as the doors open, gasping for air. Shaking my head, I drag in a couple of breaths and push on his chest before ducking around him.
“I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this again. It hurts too goddamned much.” I should have taken off my damn heels because I can’t run in them. I move as fast as my feet will let me, but he’s right behind me.
“Amelia. Please, at least let me talk. Nothing else, just talk. I’m fucking begging you,” he pleads, his voice a tortured whisper.
I spin around. “So talk, Alex,” I bite out bitterly. “Talk so we can get this over with, and we can move the fuck on with our lives.”
“Here? In the hotel hallway?”
I look around, realizing we’re not far from my room, and therefore, basically my entire family, Bean’s entire family, Haven’s family… Even here, we’re surrounded by people.
“Fine. We’ll talk in your room.” I storm back to the elevator, the irony not lost on me.
But unlike at the office, this time he’s with me when I step in.
He scans his keycard, allowing us to go to the top floor.
I cross my arms over my chest and refuse to look at him.
It’s childish, but if I look at him, I’m afraid I’ll kiss him again. No, I know I’ll kiss him again.
I can’t kiss him again.
God, I want to kiss him again.
We’re silent as the elevator moves up, as we walk down the hall, and as he opens the door to his room.
After the door is closed, we stare at each other for a minute.
He finally breaks the silence, pulling at his tie. “Do you want a drink?”
“No, I don’t want a drink. Say what you need to say, Alex.
Remind me how we can’t be together because of our ages.
Since you’re not my boss anymore, you can’t use that as an excuse, but you might as well just replace that with how you’re my best friend’s dad.
Go ahead and tell me again how I was a mistake.
Maybe it won’t hurt as bad this time around. ”
“I didn’t mean it, Amelia. You could never be a mistake.
Being with you could never be a mistake.
” He drags his fingers through his hair, messing it up more than it already was.
“I got scared. Because you’re my everything.
For a whole year, you’ve been my everything.
For a year, I hated weekends and holidays because they were days I didn’t get to see you. ”
This… This isn’t what I expected. I’m stunned into silence, my heart thudding wildly in my chest.
Alex starts pacing the front room, rubbing his tie between his fingers and his thumb.
“I lived for our morning coffees and pastries, our banter, our lunches on the patio, our late nights eating pizza and Chinese food when we did more laughing than working. I lived for the moments you’d fix my tie, for when you got close enough to me that I could smell your lotion. ”
He takes a ragged breath and buries a hand in his hair.
“When you made me grin like a fool, and when I made you smile. My sunshine moments. Because you, you’re my sunshine.
For a year, I loved you but didn’t let myself believe we could be more than what we were.
I let fear rule me, let it keep me from kissing you, touching you, telling you how I felt.
I was terrified that you didn’t feel the same and that admitting I was in love with you would ruin what we already had. ”
I suck in a breath and try to process his words.
“And then we crossed the line into something else. Something so much bigger, so much more…breakable. The thought of us not working out and losing you? Not having you in my life at all? That fear took over. I should have been worshiping you, should have been taking you home with me so I could fall asleep with you in my arms instead of pushing you away. I should have kept chasing after you immediately instead of waiting until the next day.” He finally stops moving and turns to face me.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Amelia. I fucked up, and now I’m begging you to let me make it up to you.
I’ll prove how much I love you every single day if you let me. ”
Torment fills his eyes as mine fill with tears.
That night broke me, but maybe it broke him, too.
“You’re not the only one who fucked up. I ran and kept running.
I haven’t stopped running. I’ve been too afraid to.
Because I can’t go through that pain again, Alex,” I murmur, shaking my head.
“I should have at least talked to you at some point since that night, but then you walked into my parents’ kitchen, and everything multiplied because you’re Bean’s dad and it’s all just so complicated. ”
Breathing is hard. My heart is heavy in my chest. I feel like a sink hole is opening under my feet, ready to swallow me up.