Chapter Twenty
The late-morning sunshine was even brighter now as Selena and Dr. Scott continued their snowshoe trek across the snowy grounds of the estate towards the folly.
“I suppose you have already heard the saddest part,” Dr. Scott said as they marched along. “I told you that my parents and brother all died when I was young?”
“Yes. I was so sorry to hear that.” Selena had wanted to ask more about it at the time and was glad he was willing to share the story now.
“I had a brother, Cameron, who was a year younger than I.” Dr. Scott’s voice grew quieter, and his eyes grew distant.
“My father—he was a blacksmith—died when I was two years old, leaving our mother with two small boys to raise. She worked as a laundress to provide for us. We lived in a London slum.” He stopped to catch his breath, and Selena paused with him.
“When I was five years old, Mother and Cameron both died from consumption.”
“Oh, no! When you were five?” Selena’s heart twisted.
“I tried so hard to care for them, but I was just a child. They wasted away before my eyes.”
“How horrible. For them to lose their lives so young, and for you to be a witness to it.”
“It was horrible.” He gestured with his pole. “The worst part was that I felt so helpless. I decided, later, that I must have been spared for a reason. That I had been put on this Earth to learn about health and medicine to prevent people from dying from such awful diseases.”
“A noble goal, Dr. Scott. Especially at such a tender age.”
“I don’t know how noble it was. But it felt like a calling.”
“I find it admirable. How many people know what they want to do with their lives when they’re a child? I certainly didn’t. And how fortunate you were to find a benefactor at the orphanage.”
“I was.” They moved on again. “Not every boy received much schooling. Most were set up as apprentices to learn trades. One morning, I overheard the director of the orphanage telling Mr. Brown that he intended for me to either train to become a blacksmith like my father or a coffin-maker at a funeral home. Mr. Brown insisted that I would be wasted in such occupations. He offered to pay for my education at a good local school, as well as at Oxford, and provided financial assistance during the years in which I trained and apprenticed at a London teaching hospital.”
“What a kind and generous man.”
“Indeed. Mr. Brown has since passed away, but he changed my life. I shall be forever grateful to him.”
As they forged on across the snow, Selena contemplated all that he had told her. It meant so much to her that Dr. Scott had been willing to share these details about himself. It made her feel closer to him. “Do you enjoy your profession, I hope?”
“Yes. I cannot imagine doing anything else.”
“I suppose you must work long hours?”
“I do.”
“Are you on call in the middle of the night?”
“I am. But I don’t mind the hours. Having the opportunity to alleviate my patients’ suffering and to help improve their lives, it is immensely fulfilling.
” Excitement infused his words and was evident in the brightness of his eyes.
“I enjoy the problem-solving aspect of it as well. There is always something new to learn and explore, even in a small private practice.”
“It is the same for me,” Selena admitted.
“As a governess, I was never really off-duty. And as a teacher and now the headmistress of a school, my hours are equally long. And yet it is thrilling to know that I am helping young girls to discover their strengths and potential. And as you say, I learn something new every day.”
He nodded his head. “Working so hard, though, I have found, doesn’t allow much time for socializing outside of work.
” He darted her a glance. “Which I suppose is why I’ve never met …
why I have never married.” His eyes locked with hers, and his expression seemed to be filled with some deep, unspoken meaning.
Selena’s pulse began to drum in her ears. Why did he feel it necessary to explain his unmarried state to her? She hadn’t asked him to. Although she had wondered. It did seem to her that a man so caring, accomplished, and good-looking ought to have been married by now.
“The same for me,” she said again. “Over the past thirteen years, I have not had many opportunities to meet … unattached gentlemen.” She felt her cheeks grow warm at this declaration. “I am fortunate, though,” she went on quickly. “Mrs. Hillman and my students are like a second family to me.”
“I am fortunate as well. I treasure the friends I do have.”
Selena dug her pole into the snow as they trudged on. “Like the ones in Edinburgh.”
“Edinburgh?”
“The friends you were going to see for Christmas.”
He blinked. “Yes! Yes, indeed. They are my family now that—” He broke off. A shadow seemed to cross his features.
Selena wondered what had driven away his enthusiasm. But before she could process that further, he spoke again.
“We have talked far too much about me.” His voice was grim and he appeared to be directing all his attention to the movement of the snowshoes beneath his feet. “I have told you about my childhood. Now I should like to hear about yours.”
“My childhood?” Selena considered. “It started off like a dream. My father was a gentleman, and I grew up in a comfortable household, with two wonderful sisters and a brother and parents I cherished. However, like you, I lost my mother when I was young—I was also only five.”
“Oh! And how young she must have been.” His brows drew together as he gave her a sad glance. “What did your mother die from?”
“She had a stroke.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Selena was perspiring from exertion, and it was hard work to walk and talk and breathe at the same time.
“I wish I had more memories of my mother. I recall sitting on her lap as she read to me. She was a wonderful storyteller. I remember the fragrance of her cologne—gardenia. She once said she felt it her duty to share her life experience with us. I know her favorite sayings because my sister Diana repeated them over and over to us as children.” Selena smiled at these remembrances but then let go a long sigh as sadness enveloped her.
“I remember the nursery maid telling us to stay quiet and out of the way because Mama was sick in bed, and the apothecary coming and going, and the awful silence in the house when my mother was gone.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “My memories are quite different. We couldn’t afford an apothecary or a nursery maid.
And my mother never read to me. Not because she didn’t know how to read, but because we couldn’t afford books, and she didn’t have time.
But the end result is the same. You and I, unfortunately, grew up without a mother’s love.
And that is hard for any child to bear.”
“It was a tragedy for my entire family. Diana is only two years older than I am, but she took it upon herself to serve as ‘mother’ in every way she could to my sister Athena and me and our brother, Damon.”
“And she was how old? Seven?” His voice rang with incredulity.
Selena nodded as they tramped along. “It was far too much responsibility for such a little girl, but Papa seemed to be lost with Mama. He was fond of hunting and riding—and accustomed to a woman running the household. Diana, even as a little girl, was willing and efficient, so he allowed it. As for me, I was the baby of the family. I was pampered and indulged. Until age sixteen, that is.”
“What happened when you were sixteen?”
“My father lost his fortune in a bad investment.” Selena sighed.
“He had followed the advice of a charming friend, one who hadn’t invested a penny of his own and who vanished when all of my father’s money was gone.
We were thrown into very difficult financial straits.
There was a question as to whether or not we could even keep our house, a modest cottage in the Derbyshire countryside.
My brother secured a position as a curate at a poor parish in London.
My sisters had to finds posts as governesses.
A year later, I entered the same trade.”
“You became a governess at age seventeen?” They were getting closer to the folly now and paused again to catch their breath. “Isn’t that rather young?”
“A bit, but Athena did it at the same age a year before me and proved to be such a success that her employers’ friends took me on to care for their young daughters.
Thankfully, I had received a good education at school and Diana had served as a tutor to me and Athena since childhood, so I was ably prepared to teach children the basics. ”
“Did you enjoy your profession, I hope?” he asked, echoing her own words from earlier.
The sadness of that time returned to Selena in a flash, but she gave her head a shake to dispel it.
“A governess is neither a member of the family she serves nor a servant, but somewhere in between, and in many cases, respected by no one. But none of my siblings were at home anymore and I was lonesome without them. I needed a job. I survived in the occupation for nearly ten years and so did my sisters. In fact, I think those years were good for all of us. They made us stronger and more independent. And they instilled in us a love of teaching, which led to Athena and me opening our school for girls.”
“An enterprise I applaud. We haven’t had a chance to talk much about your school. With all the pupils away on holiday, it’s easy to forget that Darkmoor Park is actually the home of such a valuable institution.”
Selena was pleased to hear his positive assessment of her life’s work. “It is a long-held dream come true. As you said—I cannot imagine my life without it.”
They forged on again and after a small silence, he said, “How, may I ask, did you come to meet Mrs. Hillman and to open the school?”