Chapter Two
MONIQUE
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Fear was an ugly and dangerous emotion. But it was a necessary emotion. Fear could save your life. For instance, in a dangerous situation, fear could make you run instead of trying to stick around and fight and possibly be killed.
It activated your fight-or-flight response. So, it had its pros. The problem was, its cons were a bitch. The downside of fear was that it could make you miss out on something great. It could make you doubt yourself and those around you.
It could keep you from achieving greatness and from achieving happiness. It could make you remain frozen in place for years. Monique was proof of that. And it was time she acknowledged that.
Maybe her current location wasn’t the ideal place for that acknowledgment. But it was what it was. Fear had kept her trapped in a marriage with a man she’d long known had stopped desiring her.
And his lack of desire had caused hers to lessen also. His treatment of her had caused her love for him to diminish over the years. She’d gone from missing him when he didn’t come home until late at night to being glad he wasn’t home.
When she’d started hoping he wouldn’t come home at all, she’d known something was wrong. Instead of placing the blame on him where it should have fallen, she’d put it on herself. She’d convinced herself that she was the problem.
She’d told herself as long as she could be a better wife, then her husband would be a better man, and all would be well in her marriage. How foolish! The problem hadn’t been her. It had been him.
In order for her husband to be a better man, he first had to be a man. The red flags had always been there, but she’d chosen to walk blindly down the path of love, seeing only what she’d wanted to see.
She’d chosen to believe in him, even when he hadn’t believed in himself. She’d supported him, even when he’d felt like he was the world’s biggest failure. She’d tried seeing the good in him, even when he’d shown her time and time again that there was no good in him.
That was her fault. She’d searched for a fairytale romance on the comedy aisle. And that was why she now felt her life was a joke. She’d known Trevor was doing her dirty. She’d known he wasn’t working late.
She’d known there were no business trips. She’d known his secretary hadn’t called his phone late at night to brief him on an upcoming meeting. She’d known her frequent UTIs were from his community dick. Especially since she hadn’t had another one since the divorce.
She’d known he was lying to her. Women always knew. However, she’d pretended they were still in love and had stayed with him because of fear. Fear trapped her in the marriage, not the man. Not love. Not lust. Not hope for a better tomorrow. Fear.
Whenever she thought of leaving, fear reared its ugly head and reminded her that she’d never lived alone in her life. As a kid, she’d lived with her parents. In college, she lived in the dorm and had roommates.
She’d married her college sweetheart, and they’d gotten their first apartment after graduation. So, even when she’d considered leaving, the thought of being alone had scared her, and she’d tossed the idea out.
She’d also been afraid of what her strict family and the people from her gossiping hometown would say if she’d left him. She’d feared the stigma that would’ve been placed over her head.
She’d already had people talking about her because she didn’t have kids. She hadn’t wanted to add divorcee to that. So, she’d stayed and prayed for things to change. And they did change. Instead of her leaving him, he’d left her.
And all those things she’d feared happening had descended upon her like a plague. Her worst fears had come to life. And she’d almost buckled under the weight of them. But her friends had helped her remain standing.
That same fear had almost made her not go out with her girls that night. It had also almost made her not step into the Cattaneo Casino and Resort. Thankfully, her friends hadn’t taken no for an answer.
And tonight, Monique was having the time of her life. Monique smiled at a guy walking past her. Yeah, she was glad she hadn’t let fear hold her back. She hadn’t stopped smiling since she’d stepped into the casino.
The lounge area was packed with people who were there to mingle and have a good time. There were no kiddos doing dances that would make her knees snap, crackle, and pop. She was around grown folks.
This was her vibe. This, she could handle. Seated on a settee, wedged between her two friends, Monique sipped her third Long Island iced tea. Usually, two was her limit. Tonight, she needed a little liquid courage to do what her friends had dared her to do.
“Come on, Monique,” Meka rushed her. “It’s time to pick a guy. There’s plenty here who are alone.”
“No, there’s not,” Monique complained, staring around the room. “They may not be with a woman, but a lot of them are with their friends. What if one of their friends is actually their boyfriend?”
Toya chuckled. “The more, the merrier.”
“Latoya!” Monique exclaimed.
“What?” Toya shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with a menage.”
Monique leaned closer to her friend. “Have you ever had one?”
Who was she kidding? Of course, Toya had. Toya stared from Monique to Meka.
“Don’t judge me,” Toya said.
That meant yes. Monique giggled and swayed a bit. Those Long Island ice teas were starting to kick in.
“No more drinking,” Toya ordered, taking Monique’s cup from her. “Pick a guy. All you have to do is go up to him and flirt for a full minute. One minute. Now, pick someone before I pick for you.”
“Do I have to do the dare?” Monique groaned. “How about I pay for the drinks?”
“You almost messed up club night,” Meka reminded her. “You have to do the dare. Rules are rules. Do you want me to choose someone for you?”
“I’ll do it,” Monique said, irritated.
She hadn’t flirted in years. But how hard could it be? The hardest part would be finding the right guy. The guys seated in the lounge area were with their ladies. Her gaze drifted to the bar. Some of those guys were with their friends. She didn’t want their friends eavesdropping and witnessing her embarrassment.
“There’s another bar here, right?” Monique asked. When her friends said yes, she told them, “Let’s go to that one.”
It took her a full minute to convince them to leave. They took the elevator to the next bar area. It was nicer and bigger than the other. There was actually a dance floor and all. She started over to a chair to sit down, but her friends grabbed her and made her remain standing next to them.
“Find a guy,” Toya insisted. “No more stalling.”
Toya would’ve said more, but a dark-skinned guy with long dreads approached and began talking to her, pulling her attention from Monique. Monique’s gaze flitted around the room before landing on a tall, white guy who was approaching the bar.
His height was the first thing she noticed. He towered over others. The second thing she noticed was his build. Though he was sporting a suit, she could tell he was ripped underneath it. He oozed sex appeal.
It dripped from his pores. It was in his stride, in the way he moved. He walked like he owned the room. A man like that would probably rip her in two. She wasn’t ready for what he was toting, which was why she chose him as her target.
A one-minute conversation was all he was getting from her. After her minute was up, she could walk away from him forever.
“Him,” she said to Meka.
“Nice choice. Go get him, tigress.”
Tigress? She felt more like a lamb heading to its slaughter. With a nod, Monique headed in the guy’s direction. He’d unbuttoned his suit jacket, taken a seat at the bar, and ordered a drink by the time she reached him.
His drink arrived at the same time she did. There wasn’t a vacant stool near him. Feeling self-conscious, she leaned against the bar for support as she faced him. When their gazes connected, it was like a bolt of lightning struck her, zigzagging from the top of her head to her clit.
What the hell was that? Monique took a deep breath and released it slowly while trying to play it cool. That only made things worse. She breathed in his cologne. Though she didn’t know the scent, it was almost as intoxicating as he was.
A sense of familiarity crept over her as she stared into his handsome face. She’d seen him somewhere before. However, she couldn’t place where she’d seen that chiseled jawline and those striking dark green eyes. When he smiled at her, she instantly forgot the lines she’d rehearsed while at the other lounge.
“Have a seat,” he told her, then licked his lips.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. There wasn’t another seat available. Was he insinuating that he wanted her to sit there? On his lips? A surge of arousal zipped through her body, shocking her with its intensity.
It had been so long since she’d sat on someone’s face. With all the ass she had now, she’d probably smother him. But with sexy lips like those, she’d be willing to take that charge. And if he survived, he’d probably keep her coming all night long.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, voice like velvet wrapping around her body.
She blinked rapidly. Damn it. S he’d been daydreaming.
“I, uh.” What to say? “Smothering you. I was thinking about smothering you.”
His gaze narrowed. “You were thinking of smothering me?”
“What? No. Yes. I don’t mean to death,” she rushed to clarify, not wanting him to think she was a serial killer. “I-I wasn’t thinking of murdering you. I was thinking that if I sat on your face, I’d smother you. That kind of smother.”
For a while, he just stared at her. Then he burst out laughing. What was so funny? It took a second for the words she’d just blurted out to sink in. OH. MY. GOSH. What was wrong with her? Why had she said that out loud? Where was a sinkhole when you needed one?
Embarrassed beyond belief, she muttered, “I’m sorry. I’m, uh, I’m going to go find my friends.”
She turned to walk away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. Standing between his legs with her side pressed against his front, Monique tried to keep her knees from buckling.
“I’m not one who can be killed easily,” he whispered in her ear, breath caressing her earlobe. “So, don’t worry about smothering me. Also...” he leaned back a fraction. His heated gaze roamed over her. “If you’d like to sit all of that on my face, you can. I can handle it. I promise.”
Monique was embarrassed as hell. And wet. She couldn’t leave that part out. She was dripping wet. It wasn’t only his sexy words that had her wet. It was the tone he’d uttered them in. His voice was deep, dark, and sensual.
He could say, “Bitch, get the fuck away from me,” and even that would sound sexy. But he hadn’t said that. Instead, he’d told her he could handle her sitting all of her ass on his face. Her cheeks heated in embarrassment – both sets.
That same flush of heat flashed over her entire body, making her tingle in places that shouldn’t tingle in public. This man was a walking red flag. Fear kicked in, causing warning sirens to blare loudly in her mind.
Fight or flight? Which would she choose? Everything in her screamed for her to run away from him. It screamed that though she was ready to be out and about, hanging with her friends, she was still in a fragile state.
It screamed that she wasn’t the type to give her body to someone before she gave them her heart. It screamed she’d only been divorced for six months. Her heart and confidence had been battered and were still healing from the wounds her ex had inflicted.
Therefore, she needed to retreat to the safety net that was her besties. That was the safest and most logical thing for her to do. Yet, the ever-logical, sometimes shy Monique Rose ignored the flags and warning signs and chose not to flee.
She’d followed the rules all her life, and look where it had gotten her. She’d been the obedient daughter and the studious student. Yet, when she’d wanted to continue her studies and get her master’s degree, her family urged her to settle down with her husband.
So, she’d become the loving and nurturing wife she was expected to be. She’d given all she’d had to give while accepting very little in return. Instead of appreciating it, her husband had taken it all and left her almost depleted, with barely enough love and energy for herself.
Ugh! Why was she still wasting energy on that bastard? Tonight was not the night for that. She was done focusing on Trevor. Instead, she focused her energy somewhere else. She stared into the stranger’s piercing eyes and ignored the warning signs his entire presence gave off. He smiled.
What did he do that for? Monique smiled back. What was she doing? Was she really flirting with him? As in, real flirting , not because of the dare, but because she wanted to? He stood. She went to take a step back.
His arm wrapped around her, preventing her from moving away. She shivered when his large hand splayed against her back. The fabric of her dress was so thin it was almost like he was touching her naked flesh. Monique started doing her Kegels.
Why? She had no idea. It just happened involuntarily, as if her pussy was getting ready to go to war. Tighten those inner walls. Release. Tighten those inner walls. Release. She stopped when his deep voice washed over her.
“Have a seat,” he told her, towering over her.
Hand still on her back, he stepped aside and nodded to the stool. She returned her gaze to him to thank him for being a gentleman. Yet, when she looked into his eyes, she didn’t see a gentleman. She saw a wolf. A hungry wolf. If she weren’t careful, he would devour her. That should scare her. It didn’t. It excited her.
“Thank you,” Monique whispered.
He leaned down. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
Swallowing, Monique drew closer to his ear to whisper, “Thank you.”
He faced her, lips now inches away from hers.
“Don’t thank me for something I should do naturally,” he told her.
“Thanking you is the right thing to do,” she replied. “It’s what I’m supposed to do when someone does something nice for me.”
“Do you always do what you’re supposed to do?”
Yes. Instead, she said, “Not tonight.”
Turning her gaze from him, she allowed him to help her onto her stool. On the outside, she was feigning a calmness she wasn’t feeling on the inside. Her heart was racing so fast she could hardly breathe. But her once dormant inner vixen was cheering her on. It’s about damn time , her inner vixen chanted.
“I know, right,” Monique thought, essentially talking and replying to herself.
She didn’t feel crazy at all for doing so. During times like this, when she was trying to step out of her comfort zone, she had to be her own wing-man, well, wing-woman. Now seated on the stool, Monique faced forward and rested her hands on the bar counter.
Next to her stood Sin. That would be her name for him. He was a walking and breathing embodiment of all things wickedly sinful. Sin placed one hand on the back of her stool and the other next to hers on the countertop. Having his hand touch hers shouldn’t cause her to feel anything.
So why was her pussy humming the tune to Freak Me, Baby by Silk? Let me lick you up and down, til you say stop. Let me play with your body baby, make you real hot.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked.
She’d already reached her drinking limit.
“I’ll take a Coke,” Monique replied.
With a nod, he faced the bar. The bartender approached, and Sin placed his order for a Coke and a glass of Hennessey, both on ice. After the bartender walked away, Sin faced her. Those eyes . Monique tore her gaze from his to stare down at her hands. He tapped her finger. He might as well have tapped her clit, because it perked up. Moving slowly, she faced him again.
“You’re beautiful,” he complimented her.
She hadn’t expected that. Monique chuckled nervously. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she told him, “You don’t waste time, do you?”
“Life is too short to waste time. But if you want me to beat around the bush instead of being straightforward, I will. What would you like me to do?”
Me. “I want you...” she paused.
His eyes widened. That hungry wolf look in his gaze intensified.
“To be straightforward,” she finished.
A slow smile spread across his face. Her inner vixen cheered. She was actually doing it. She was flirting.
Go, bitch, her inner vixen chanted.
“I’m going, bitch,” she chanted back.
“And I want you...” he started, then paused, mimicking her.
Smiling, she waited for him to finish his sentence.
When he didn’t, she asked, “You want me to what?”
“That’s it. I want you.”
This man! Another blush heated her cheeks. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d blushed this much. Neither could she remember the last time she’d felt this excited. She was enjoying their banter. She didn’t want it to end.
“Do you say this to all the ladies you meet at the bar?” Monique asked.
“If I say I don’t, will you believe me?”
She shook her head. He was too much of a smooth-talker for him not to be a playboy.
“I don’t,” he told her. “I promise.”
He sounded and appeared sincere. But she’d been lied to by a pig in sheep’s clothing before. She wouldn’t fall for the lies of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“I don’t know you. A stranger’s promise doesn’t hold much value,” she admitted.
“Then let’s stop being strangers.”
Whoa! How was she supposed to reply to that? Thankfully, the bartender arrived with their drinks, giving her a moment of reprieve. Sipping her cola, Monique tried to gather her thoughts while also trying to decipher the meaning behind his words.
Was he saying he wanted to get to know her better? Or was he saying he wanted a one-night stand? She was down for one and not the other. But how could she get him to clarify his statement without seeming super eager to cease being strangers with him?
From the corner of her eyes, she watched him sip his drink. Those lips. Monique squeezed her thighs together. His lips were things wet dreams were made of. No, this entire man was things wet dreams were made of.
“Relax,” he told her as he sat his drink back down on the counter.
“I am relaxed.”
His gaze dropped to her clenched thighs. He’d noticed. How?
“You can relax,” he continued. “I’m not going to bite.”
Monique chuckled. “Let me guess. Your next line will be, unless I ask you to , right?”
That line was old and lame. It had been circulating through bars and clubs ever since she was in her late teens and early twenties. Did women still swoon over those lines?
“I wouldn’t bite, even if you asked me to,” he told her.
Monique frowned. Was that his way of saying he wasn’t interested? Dude was sending mixed signals.
“I’ll only bite if you beg me to,” he explained.
Oh, really?! She rolled her eyes. “Good thing I’m not the begging type.”
She may be experiencing a dick drought, but she wasn’t desperate enough to beg for dick. A girl had to have her pride.
“Want to bet?” he asked.
Her gaze jerked back to his. “Huh?”
“You claim you’re not the begging type. However, I know I can make you beg. Do you want to see who’s right?”
Monique swallowed. What she wanted and what she needed were two separate things. Or were they?
Do it, her devilish inner vixen encouraged. You want this, and you need this.
Don’t do it, the rational side of her discouraged. Not everything that feels good to you is good for you.
But what if she only wanted to feel good? She didn’t want forever with this man. She didn’t even want tomorrow with him. She only wanted tonight. For one night, she wanted to feel like a woman who was desired by her partner.
For one night, she wanted to let loose and explore all her fantasies. For one night, she wanted to try something other than doggy style. Which had been the position her ex always reverted to when he wanted to get kinky.
That wasn’t kinky. The things she saw on the porn videos she watched to finish what he’d started after he’d fallen asleep were kinky. It was time to step out of her comfort zone and begin living life to the fullest. Like Sin said, life was too short to waste time.
“Okay. I’ll take you up on your bet,” she told him. “But what happens if you’re unable to make me beg?”
“That won’t happen. In the unlikelihood that it does, I’ll grant you one wish.”
“One wish. What if I wish for the world?”
“Then consider it yours.”
She laughed, knowing he was joking but not caring.
“If I win,” he continued. “You must grant me one wish. I promise to make it simple. I don’t need the world.”
“Okay. But what happens if I end up making you beg?” she asked.
Where had that thought come from? She was tipsy. That had to be it. Blame it on the alcohol. Was she writing a check her ass couldn’t cash? She didn’t know. But she’d said it now. She wouldn’t take those words back.
“No one has ever made me beg,” he confessed.
“There’s a first time for everything,” she whispered, feeling a bit wicked.
“You’re right. I’m already giving you the world if I lose. What else can I give?”
“How about you give me the world if I make you beg, and I’ll think of something else to receive if you’re unable to make me beg? Something smaller.”
“I’m okay with that. Just know, there are some things I’m not willing to give.”
“Understood. Same here.”
“Now that we have the rules out of the way, shall we retire to my room for another drink? I have a suite on the top floor of the resort.”
Nervous butterflies flitted around in her belly. She ignored them and focused on Sin. Since she was going to do this, she may as well go all out.
“I have one more question. Will you let me do whatever I want to you?” she asked.
He cocked his head to the side and replied, “Only if you let me do whatever I want to you.”
She smiled and told him, “You may regret this later.”
She may look innocent, but she had a kinky imagination and a lot of suppressed desires. He may regret this bet after he learned of them.
He leaned closer to peer into her eyes. “I could never regret you, Monique Rose.”
Damn, he said the sweetest stuff.
“Okay,” she told him before she could talk herself out of this. “I’m ready.”
“You should tell your friends you’re leaving with me first.”
Oh, right. He was being more cautious than she was.
“I was just about to do that,” she fibbed as he helped her off the stool. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here waiting,” he told her.
Smiling, she added an extra sway to her hips as she strode across the room to her friends, who were watching her like a hawk. If she’d been thinking with her head instead of her pussy, she would’ve realized that he’d said her whole name, but she’d never told him her name. But she wasn’t thinking with her head. And once she finally realized it, it was too late.
By then, he already owned her.