Chapter Twelve
ORAZIO
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This wasn’t love.
This couldn’t be love. Sure, he’d longed for Monique since the first night he’d laid eyes on her, but that wasn’t love. That was lust. And yeah, he’d paid her husband a lump sum of money to divorce her, but that wasn’t love. That was lust.
And yeah, when his life had gotten busy with work and family problems, he’d had his people watch over her during and after her divorce. They’d sent him videos and pictures of her as proof that she was safe.
Videos and images that he stared at every time he had a moment alone, a moment of quiet, a moment to rest. Pictures of her grocery shopping. Pictures of her sitting on her porch, drinking a cup of coffee, or reading a book.
Pictures of her staring up at the sky and smiling for no reason at all. Pictures of her crying on her back porch when the pain became too much. He’d experienced her divorce with her through images and video while also experiencing the ups and downs of his own chaotic life.
She’d become his peace during the turmoil. His calm during the storm. He’d watched over her without her even knowing he existed. But that wasn’t because he loved her. That was more like protecting an investment.
He’d worried that Trevor’s dumb ass would still try to harm her. He hadn’t trusted the bastard. Still didn’t. He’d also done it to make sure she didn’t decide to skip town after her divorce. Again, that was protecting his investment, not love.
He’d planned to go to her after his business issues ended. Instead, she’d come to him. Again, that had nothing to do with love. They could blame their meeting on fate. And they could blame their night of amazing sex on lust.
But no matter how he looked at it, none of what he’d done had been because he loved her. He lusted after her. And, after spending the night with her, he was growing to like her. But that was it.
And now that she was trying to alert the window washers to their business, he was going to have to put some rules in place for her. First rule was, we never put our business in the streets . No one else needed to know what was going on between them. Other than his nosy ass brother and heartbroken cousin.
They already knew too much. But they would never do anything to betray him or someone he cared for. However, if his enemies knew he was crazy about Monique, they’d try to use her to get to him. They’d hurt her in ways she couldn’t imagine.
Ways he wouldn’t allow himself to imagine because it bothered him to even think about it. He wouldn’t let that happen. Raz headed toward the door, preparing to leave Bryceson and Caspari to their conversation.
“Sit down,” Cas called to him.
“I’ve got something to handle.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s been handled. I told security it was fine. I’ll text them and have them explain to the washers that it was a joke,” Cas told him.
“I still need to check on her.”
“Do you? Or are you anxious to see her again? If it’s the latter, then you’ve fallen harder for her than I’d thought.”
Raz spun around. “I have not fallen for her.”
Cas smiled and nodded to the chair Raz had just vacated. “Have a seat then.”
His brother knew how to push his buttons. But Cas was right about one thing, Raz was anxious to see her again. But was she anxious to see him? Hell no. She was probably imagining all the ways she could kill him right now.
For that reason alone, he returned to his seat. Staying away a little longer would give her time to cool off. Maybe she’d even start to miss him. Or at least realize that he was serious about this, about her.
“Good,” Cas said once Orazio was seated. “The worst thing you could do right now is to let her know that she has you riled up. Women thrive off that shit.”
Raz tapped the bar, signaling he wanted his glass refilled. Cas filled it.
“Are you two ready to get back to this therapy session? This could be the last time you get this type of advice from me for free. You better take advantage of it.” Cas glanced over at Bryce. “You ready to talk and to listen?”
Bryce nodded. Raz hoped he didn’t look as dejected as his cousin did.
As Cas refilled Bryce’s glass, he said, “Raz has already admitted that he’s the reason he has woman problems. Are you ready to admit that you’re probably the reason you’re having woman troubles, too?”
Bryce gripped the glass and sighed. “Yeah. No!” Bryce stopped slouching and sat up straight. “I’m not the sole reason. Yeah, I’m part of the reason. But she did shit, too,” Bryce complained. “We’re both the reason for these troubles.”
Raz nodded. “Same here.”
Both men downed their drinks. Cas quickly refilled them.
“How are the ladies causing you two trouble?” Cas asked. “Bryce, you first.”
“My lady left me five years ago...” Bryceson started.
“Wait!” Raz said. “Are you talking about Tatianna?”
Bryce nodded.
“Damnnnn,” Cas drawled. “So, Tatianna is back. No wonder you’re about to lose your mind. Here. Both of you can take a drink. Drink. Hurry up.”
They both downed their drinks and waited for Cas to half-fill their glasses again. Bryce took a deep breath, then continued.
“I’m stepping in to help my mom and grandma at the bakery, Cattaneo Café & Sweets.”
“Why are you stepping in there?” Cas asked.
“I found out they had an employee who was stealing money from the bakery.”
“Did you handle him?” Orazio asked.
“Yeah. But if my mom asks, I simply beat him up and forced him to leave town.”
“Got it,” Cas and Raz said.
Raz and his brothers were close to Bryce’s mom and grandma. Almost every Sunday, they went to their house for family dinner. Bryce’s mom and grandma had been inspired to open Cattaneo Café & Sweets because of Raz, his brothers, and all the other cousins who’d loved eating Bryce’s mom and grandma’s desserts. Had Raz known someone had been stealing from them, he would’ve helped Bryce end the bastard.
“Mom and grandma are great at baking,” Bryce continued. “But they’re too trusting. They want to see the good in everyone. Dad and I have tried to get them to stop being like that. But they won’t change. I’ve tried telling them not to hire motherfuckers just because they feel sorry for them. But they don’t listen. They insist on seeing the good in people. That led to them trusting the wrong person to manage the place. Until I can find someone I trust, I’m managing it for them. Before this incident, I hadn’t been to the bakery in a while. When I went, I found out they’d hired a new pastry chef to help with weddings and other special events. Guess who they hired?”
Cas chuckled. “Let me guess first. Tatianna for one hundred, Alex?”
Bryce nodded. Still laughing, Cas told them to drink. They obeyed.
Bryce slammed the glass down. “My ex, the woman who left me without so much as a goodbye or a fuck you, is now the pastry chef. And I’m now her manager,” Bryce said, patting his chest. “I’m her boss. But she won’t listen to shit I say. She keeps doing whatever the fuck she wants.”
Raz smiled. That sounded a lot like Monique. “That’s women for you,” Raz drawled before taking a sip of his drink. “They don’t like being told what to do. Even if what you’re telling them is what’s best for them.”
“Right!” Bryce agreed. “I’m telling her shit that’s good for her. But she keeps threatening to cut me or other things that a woman shouldn’t even consider doing to someone they love.”
“Are you sure she loves you?” Cas asked.
Ignoring him, Raz and Bryceson continued their discussion.
“At least she only threatened you,” Raz said, feeling a bit tipsy. “At least she didn’t try to kill you with a pen. Your pen!”
“Whoa,” Bryce placed his hand on Raz’s shoulder. “Your lady did that?”
Raz nodded. “My lady did that.”
Again, Cas laughed and took a drink himself before saying, “I can’t wait to meet her.”
“That’s not right,” Bryce told Raz, still ignoring Cas. “You’re not supposed to hurt the people you love.”
“Are you sure she loves him?” Cas asked but was ignored yet again.
“Don’t tell me that. I already know the rules. Tell her that,” Raz said. “I’m trying to be good to her. I’m far better than her ex. Yet, all she wants to do is leave me or kill me. But...” Raz sighed and stared down at his drink. “I can see why she wants me dead. I should’ve handled things differently.”
Bryce nodded and let out a sigh of his own. “Yeah. Me too. Tatianna just frustrates me so much, and it makes me do stupid shit. I just want to be good to her. But she makes it so hard. Like damn, just let me love you. Why do you gotta keep saying shit like, don’t breathe near me or your cologne makes me want to puke. I wear expensive ass cologne, Raz. You know I do.”
“I know you do,” Raz admitted.
“Maybe,” Cas said. “What you guys think is good for them isn’t what they think is good for them. Have you ever thought of that?”
Bryce and Raz glared at Cas. Cas raised his hands.
“Don’t get mad at me,” Cas said. “I’m just trying to help. I’ll try to break this down for you two in a way you should understand. If one of our goons kept doing shit that he thought would help us, but we didn’t like his methods, we’d tell him to stop and tell him to just do the shit our way. Right?”
“Right,” Raz said as Bryce nodded.
“If he continued doing shit his own way, we’d put a bullet in him and then pay off his family. We don’t have time to keep telling motherfuckers how to do shit. Right?”
“Right,” Raz agreed. Again, Bryce just nodded.
“The same applies to women. If your way of wooing them isn’t the way they want to be wooed, they’ll do one or two things. They’ll reject you if they don’t like you at all. If they like you, but don’t like the way you’re wooing them, they’ll tell you, and...”
“Stop right there,” Bryce yelled. “No, they won’t. This proves you don’t know shit about women. They never tell you what they want, only what they don’t want. You know why? Because they don’t even know what they want.”
“I agree.” Raz nodded.
“Even so, that doesn’t mean you can kidnap them or boss them around at work,” Cas told them. “What woman, no, what person would like that? I may not know much about love and shit like that, but I do know about partnership. In our family business, the first rule is to respect each other. If we do that, then everything else tends to work itself out. When we don’t respect each other, shit falls apart. Do you two respect these women you’re obsessing about?”
“Yes,” Bryce and Raz said.
“Do they feel respected?”
Both men opened their mouths, but no sound emerged.
“Close your mouths before flies fly in them,” Cas joked.
Raz grabbed his glass and started to take a sip. But the glass was empty. Was he swaying, or was the bar moving?
Cas laughed again. “If I was a woman, I’d want to kill you two also. Here’s one last drink. Sleep off the liquor, then figure out what your women want. It’s not about what you want. It’s about what they want. I can’t believe I’m having to tell two grown-ass men this.”
Raz brought his glass to his lips. What did Rosa want? Love, maybe. Trevor hadn’t loved her properly. Could Raz do that? Could he love her properly? Could he love someone outside of his family at all?
Without taking another sip, Raz slammed his glass down and stood up. He swayed a bit before righting himself.
“Sit down,” Cas told him. “I’ll have security escort your drunk ass to your suite. You too, Bryce. I’ll get you set up in the hotel.”
Raz plopped back down into his seat. He’d let security escort him to his room. And when he got there, he was going to have a civilized conversation with Monique. He wanted her to tell him what she wanted.
He wanted to know her dreams and aspirations. And then he’d make those things happen for her. As long as she didn’t try to leave him. That was love. Right? This was the first time since he was a teen that he’d had to be escorted home because he was drunk.
Leave it to Cas to request the one guard who could irk Raz’s nerves just as much as his brother did to escort him to his room. His security guard handed him a bottle of water. Raz accepted it as he glared at Leo.
“Drink,” Leo ordered.
“Who’s the boss? You or me?” Raz asked, massaging his forehead.
“Who’s older, you or me?”
Raz chuckled. “You always like to throw that one month around like it means something.”
“In situations like these, that one month gives me seniority. Drink the water.”
Raz leaned against the elevator wall. “I’ve drunk enough.”
“I can tell. Drink and put your code in the elevator.”
“Which one do you want me to do first?” Raz asked, voice slurred.
Leo shook his head. “It’s not even noon yet.”
“I’m a grown man. I don’t need the sun to tell me when I can or can’t drink.”
“Okay, boss. Put in your code. These back elevators won’t go to your floor without the code.”
Raz moved over to the elevator panel. He blinked, forcing his eyes to focus on the numbers and letters. It took a second, but the mission was accomplished. After punching in his code, he pressed T . The elevator began its journey up.
His head spun, his stomach dropped, and his liquor felt like it was about to come back up. Raz placed his hands against the elevator wall to keep from falling down. He gritted his teeth when Leo chuckled.
“What the fuck you laughing about?” Raz forced through clenched teeth.
“I’m just surprised to see you like this, boss.”
Closing his eyes, he swallowed down his liquor for a second time as they ascended to his floor.
“This is out of character for you,” Leo drawled.
“Why are you here?”
“I work here.”
“You know what the hell I mean. Why are you working day shift? You usually work night shift.”
Leo paused before replying. “Not anymore.”
Raz jerked his gaze to Leo. Why did he do that? Groaning, he waited for the dizziness to pass before speaking again.
“I thought you hated day shift.”
“I don’t hate it. I just...” Leo paused again. “There was someone I liked seeing during the day. She isn’t available at night.”
“Sounds like a prostitute.”
“She’s not a prostitute,” Leo yelled.
“Quiet down. You’re making my head ache.”
“Don’t blame that on me. You did that all by yourself.”
Raz glanced at the panel. Shit . The elevator was moving too slowly. The numbers started to blur.
Blinking rapidly, he tried to ignore the dizzy feeling by asking Leo questions.
“If she’s not a prostitute, why can’t you see her at night?”
“She works at night. And before you say anything, prostitutes aren’t the only ones who work at night.”
“If you can only see her during the day, why did you switch from night shift to day shift?”
“I didn’t realize drunk people asked so many questions.”
“Just answer the question.”
“I can’t see her anymore. She found out who I really am.”
This time, Raz turned slowly when he moved to look at Leo.
“She didn’t know who you were?”
“She...” Leo stared straight ahead. “I lied to her.”
Orazio smiled. “You sure your last name isn’t Cattaneo?”
Leo chuckled. “I lied to get close to her. I knew if she knew who I was, she’d hate me. I didn’t mean to keep the lie going for so long. I definitely didn’t mean for things to go to another level.”
“Another level?” Raz slurred, swaying.
“Stop talking and focus on standing up,” Leo told him.
“I’m standing. You keep talking. What happened after you took it to another level?”
“I planned to tell her who I was. But she found out before I could. Now that she knows I work for the Cattaneo family, she wants nothing to do with me.”
Raz took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Sorry. My family is always ruining shit.”
“It’s not your family name that’s the problem. It’s me. If she knew about all the shit I’d done, even before I came to work for the Cattaneos, she’d know I was damaged before I met your family. Hell, your family saved me. I’m better because of don Cattaneo. But I’m still too damaged for her.”
Raz shook his head. Damn . He shouldn’t have done that. He also shouldn’t have downed that last drink. It was starting to kick in. Raz opened his mouth to tell his guard and friend that healing took time. Instead, he heaved.
“Hey!” Leo called out. “Hold it in. We’re almost there.”
Raz swallowed. “I wasn’t about to throw up,” he lied.
“That’s a famous line all drunks utter at least once in their life.”
“I’m not a drunk. I’m... going through some shit.”
“I’ve seen you go through shit. It never ended with you like this.”
“I’m going through some shit you’ve never seen me go through before.”
Raz ended his sentence on another heave. He would not throw up in this damn elevator.
“We’re almost there. Cas warned me not to let anyone enter the elevator after you exited it. I take it there’s someone in your room that you want to keep there.”
“Mind your business,” Raz said, suddenly talking to two Leos.
“Says the man who just asked me a thousand questions. Plus, this is my business. If this lady’s family comes looking for her, I’ll have to deal with it.”
“Her family?” Raz spat sarcastically. “Her family has never worried about her.”
If they had, she wouldn’t have ended up with an idiot like Trevor.
“What about friends?” Leo asked.
“Friends? Yeah, her friends may come looking.”
“I’ll take care of them.”
“Don’t kill them.”
“I won’t.”
The elevator dinged. Raz stood up straight and smoothed out the wrinkles on his clothes. He wasn’t drunk. He was just tipsy. The doors slowly slid open. Raz stumbled out of the elevator as soon as there was enough space for him to exit.
“Eager to get back to her, I see,” Leo drawled from the elevator.
Raz would’ve replied, but he heard the patter of feet rushing from the direction of his bedroom. She’d wasted no time in trying to escape. As soon as she heard the ding, she’d come running.
“You have to press the button so I can go back down,” Leo reminded him.
Right! He turned around and pressed the button to close the elevator doors and send it back to the first floor. When he spun around again, he came face to face with his Rosa. She was still as beautiful as he remembered.
Even though she was glaring at him, he was so damn happy to be in her presence again. He was so happy that it felt like his chest was about to explode. Either he was having a heart attack, or this was... wait . Could Cas be right?
Was this... Was this really love?