Chapter Thirty-Eight
ORAZIO
––––––––
He'd told her to bring her ass here, yet she was standing there, glaring at him defiantly. Raz's jaw clenched as he stared at Monique, his emotions a tangled mess of anger, confusion, and hurt. The air between them was thick with tension, the result of the chaos he'd unleashed moments ago. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
"What the hell were you thinking, coming here?" Raz asked, his voice low but laced with fury.
He was trying not to let his anger show, trying not to yell. But staring at her, seeing her looking that fucking good, it made him want to saw Frederico's head from his fucking body and show her what happens when she dresses up for another man.
"You shouldn't have been here. And you damn sure shouldn't have been here on the arm of Frederico Miconi, of all people. How did you meet him?"
She didn't answer. She just stood there, glaring at him, not speaking, not moving. He wasn't even sure if she was blinking. Her silence was making him uncomfortable.
"Do you like him? Or were you here to piss me off?" he asked. "If it was the latter, then that was childish as fuck, Monique."
She chuckled sarcastically but said nothing.
"That was it, huh? You came with him to piss me off. Well," he drawled, tossing onto the floor the handkerchief he'd used to clean Frederico's blood from his hands. "You got what you wanted. I'm pissed off, and Frederico is going to die tonight. Was it worth it, Rosa?"
Monique’s eyes flashed with anger. Her fingers clenched at her sides, the only outward sign of the storm he could tell was brewing inside her. Well, there was a storm brewing inside him, too, and it was all her fault.
"Answer me," he growled. "Answer me, or I'll have my men cut his heart out right now and feed it to his fucking daughter," Raz yelled, on the verge of losing it.
"Why should I answer you?" his Rosa asked, voice low, calm, suspiciously sweet. "You seem to already have all the answers. So, answer yourself, don ," she sneered his title as if it disgusted her.
Raz cocked his head to the side. If it was anyone else, they would've cowered under his stare and immediately did his bidding. His Rosa met his gaze without flinching, standing tall and rebellious but still not bringing her ass closer as he'd told her to.
She was pushing all of his buttons. Could she not tell how fucking pissed off he was? Was she trying to push him over the edge? Did she want every motherfucker in this building to die tonight?
"You don't know how close I am to losi..." he started, only to have her cut him off.
"You called me childish a moment ago," she told him, not caring that he'd been in the process of speaking. "I'm not the childish one here. You're the one behaving like a little boy instead of the don you left me to be. You're not behaving like the man I thought I loved. Right now, I can't even understand how I fell in love with a man like you in the first place."
Her harsh words hit Raz like a punch to the gut, leaving him momentarily stunned. The anger in her voice was unmistakable, nothing like the calm, controlled woman he thought he knew. He opened his mouth to respond, but Monique continued, her tone rising.
"You left me alone for months," she reminded him, her voice cracking slightly.
He knew how long it had been. He'd felt each day like a slice to his flesh, Father Time slowly flaying him open.
"You didn't call," she told him. "You didn't come by. You didn't care..."
"I cared!" Raz stepped closer, his voice rising in frustration. "If I didn't care, then I wouldn't have left you to protect you."
"That's something you should've discussed with me," she shot back, raising her voice to match his. "It's not a decision you make yourself, Orazio Cattaneo. You don't get to make decisions for me."
Growing frustrated, Raz ran a hand through his hair. "At the time, I thought it was for the best."
Monique’s eyes narrowed, her anger flaring. "I guess my opinion doesn't matter when it comes to my fucking life, huh?"
"Rosa, you almost died because of me," Raz argued, his voice softening slightly with guilt.
"No, I almost died because of my father, my ex, and your father," she corrected him. "And if it weren't for me, your father never would've put that scheme in motion. What happened was just as much my fault as it was yours. But you don't see me blaming you or fearing your lifestyle. My friends got caught up in our drama also. But you don't see them blaming either of us. You don't see Cas blaming you and me for Meka going missing, do you? Why are you the only one assigning blame, Raz?"
He opened his mouth to argue, but Monique wasn't finished.
"And to be honest, if my father had never forced Trevor to marry me, I never would've been in danger in the first place," she continued, her voice thick with emotion. "We both suffered because of people who should've loved and protected us. It wasn't either of our faults. Yet, you made it all yours. You shouldered all the blame, and no one asked you to do that. Are you a martyr or something? A saint? Do you think the world revolves around your hurt pride or feelings?"
Raz cocked his head to the side, unable to believe what he was hearing. The raw honesty in her words left him speechless, a rare occurrence for him. For a moment, they stood in silence, the truth hanging heavy between them.
Though he agreed with everything she'd said, he still couldn't forgive himself for allowing her to get hurt. The guilt gnawed at him, pushing him to defend his actions.
"Monique, I did what I thought was best to protect you," he insisted. "I had to keep you safe, even if it meant keeping you away from me."
Monique heaved a heavy sigh of frustration, a glimmer of unshed tears shimmering in her brown eyes.
"You know what? There's no use in talking to you because there's no getting through to you," she whispered, voice trembling slightly but growing steadier as she continued. "You're right. It was childish of me to come here with Frederico. That move defeated my entire purpose of coming here to win you back."
Her words caught Raz off guard, and he felt some of the anger seep from him. So that was why she came.
"I was planning to come to you after the gala, Monique," he admitted, hoping that truth would let her know he hadn't wanted to part with her. "I was going to beg for forgiveness and..."
She shook her head, taking a step back as if to distance herself from him physically and emotionally.
"Don't switch up on me now, Raz. Keep that same energy you had the day you told me it was over. Because I'm now ready to match that energy."
"No, I've had time to think about..."
"I've had time to think, too, Raz," she cut him off. "And I realize I shouldn’t have come here to win you back. I'm the prize here, not you."
Raz felt a pang of guilt at her words, knowing she was right. "I never claimed to be a prize," he murmured, already knowing he wasn't worthy of her.
"But I'm claiming it," Monique declared, her voice gaining strength. "I'm a prize, Raz. Not you. Not Trevor. Not my family. Me! Trevor didn't deserve me. And as I stand here looking at you, listening to your nonsense, Don Cattaneo, I realize you don't deserve me either. With the way I've been acting, chasing after you, crying over you, losing sleep over you, I don't deserve myself either. But I'm going to change that. I'm going to start treating myself better. I'm going to love myself the way I deserve to be loved. And I'm no longer going to chase after love. I'm damn sure not going to chase after a man. I'm the prize. If love wants me, it'll chase me."
Raz's heart sank as she spoke. Her words were like a knife twisting in his gut, cutting deeper with each declaration.
"Forget you saw me here tonight," she continued, her voice cold. "Because when it comes to me and you, there's nothing to see. You left me months ago. And now, I'm accepting it. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'm sorry for showing up in places you didn't want me to be."
"Don't say that, baby," he started, his voice cracking as tears stung his eyes.
"Sorry it took me so long to let you go," she added, her own voice faltering. "I just... I'd never been loved the way you loved me. So, like a little girl who wanted to believe her fairytale had come true, I trusted you when you said you would never leave me. That's on me. Not you. I'm sorry for trying to pressure you to return to me. You're free now," she told him, tears dripping down her cheeks. "Free from whatever web we'd been entangled in. You're free to do whatever you want to do. And so am I.”
“Rosa,” Raz started.
“I'll stay away from you from now on,” Monique continued. “And I want you to stay away from me, too, Orazio Cattaneo."
His heart crumbled as he watched the woman he loved shed tears before him. She turned and walked away from him, her shoulders trembling as she fought to hold back tears. She disappeared from view as she headed down the hall, leaving him standing there, alone.
Alone and broken.
Raz swallowed hard, knowing he was at fault. He had pushed her away, thinking it was for the best, but now he realized it wasn't for the best at all. But even knowing that, he couldn't accept what she had just said.
He couldn't let her go, not now, not ever. He knew she wasn't ready to forgive him yet, and that was fine. But she couldn't leave him. She just couldn't. If she wouldn't come to him willingly, he would force her to come. Consequences be damned.
Mind made up, Raz strode forward, determined not to let her slip away a second time. He would make her understand, make her see that they were meant to be together, no matter the cost.
He would take his time earning her forgiveness, but he'd do it with her by his side. He rushed out of the room and down the hall after her. He was almost to her when Leo turned the corner, heading in their direction.
"Raz, we need to get you out of here," Leo said as he rushed toward them.
He was sure what Leo had to say was important, but there was one thing Raz had to do first. He rushed to Monique and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him.
"Let me go," she yelled, attempting to jerk free of his grasp.
"I will," he promised. "When we get home."
He went to pick her up, ready to carry her away from whatever threat Leo was about to inform him of. Before he could wrap his arm around her, her hand whipped out of her purse. His eyes widened as he felt a sting in his neck.
Raz's hand went to his throat, his gaze jerking to hers. The room began to spin, and so did she. Had she... had his Rosa just drugged him? Leo was yelling for her to step away from him, but Monique didn't move. Instead, she stared down at him as he fell.
"I told you to stay away from me, and I meant it, Don Cattaneo," she hissed as his body hit the floor.
The last thing he saw before darkness claimed him was the woman he loved, rolling her eyes at him, then turning and walking away from him, leaving him behind. The same way he'd left her.
Except, she wasn't doing it to protect him. She was doing it because he'd pushed her too far. He hadn’t just pushed his Rosa into the arms of another man, he’d pushed the love she’d had for him out of her heart.
Now, she hated him just as much as he hated himself.