49. Vi
CHAPTER 49
VI
Thunder bellows overhead, making me jump out of my skin, but I keep my hands around the gun, the muzzle still aimed at the back of Jay’s head. Kenzo slides out from under him, leaving Jay face down in the dirt. I can’t look at Jay anymore.
He’s not coming back.
I close my eyes, giving the gun to Kenzo. My whole body quivers. I know I’m in the desert. I know I’m with Kenzo. But the gunshot replays in my mind, and I’m back in my six-year-old body, sitting in the driveway, waiting for my parents to come out of the house, to tell me everything is alright.
But nothing is alright. I scream through my sobs, and the emotion tears through my soul. The thunder rumbles above us again, and I spin around, finding my balance. It was my fault my parents died back then, and now it feels like the same thing all over again.
But I know the truth now. Jay hired someone to kill my parents. And now, I’ve killed him.
“It’s okay,” Kenzo whispers into my ear. He clutches me against his chest, dirt and blood smearing my face. His gait wavers—hitting his head on the rock must have disoriented him —but he still holds me like he’ll do anything to keep me safe. “It’s okay,” he says again. “I’m here. No one’s going to hurt you.”
A fat raindrop splatters on my arm, and a shiver runs through me. In a matter of seconds, the rain pounds into the ground. My pulse accelerates, my insides quivering. Kenzo huddles around me. He shoots out a few texts on his phone, water smearing the screen.
“Tomo and Cherry will be here soon. But this is gonna be a flash flood,” he says. “We’ve gotta get to higher ground.”
“Why can’t we go into the storage facility?”
“You need two keys to get in. It’s never a solo job.”
The rain pummels into us and paints the desert in darkness. Soon, we’re higher up, taking shelter in a little dugout in the side of a rock formation. It gives us enough space to stay semi-dry, as long as we stay flat against the wall.
My eyes backtrack to Jay’s corpse. Muddy water sloshes around him and ringing fills my mind. Lightning flashes above us, but I can’t hear the thunder clap over my anxiety. My mind is a tangle of thoughts. I don’t want to look at Kenzo when I know, so deeply now, that I was wrong, but the words come rambling out.
“If you needed two people to open the storage facility, why did you come here?” I ask. “He couldn’t have gotten inside.”
“I couldn’t let him hurt you again,” he shouts.
The ringing goes silent. Kenzo really does love me, doesn’t he?
I’m such a fool.
“I’m sorry,” I cry. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I was so stupid. You were right. I’m sorry?—”
“I’m not sorry,” he shouts over the thunderstorm.
Finally, I meet his eyes. There’s a lightness inside of him, mixing with the earth surrounding us. Like he believes me, even if I don’t believe in myself.
“You were trying to protect your family,” he says. “I would have done the same.”
“But you were right,” I cry. “I was wrong. Patrick raped me; I know that now. And Jay isn’t my family. He was using me. They only cared about?—”
“They never deserved you,” he cuts me off. “But you’re okay now.”
I blink up at him, searching for the cracks in his truth. Kenzo should hate me. The Ito-gumi is after the Endo-kai’s gun stash because of me.
But Kenzo’s eyes are focused, like he only cares that I’m okay.
And that’s all I need.
I kiss him, smashing our mouths together so hard, my teeth knock into his. He moans, a slight twitch rolling through him at the pain, but his arms swim around me, gripping my legs until he’s carrying me by the ass. Rain taps my back, but Kenzo spins me around until I’m inside of the alcove and he’s exposed. The rain washes away the dirt and blood on his clothes. The fabric of his button-up shirt is see-through now, and it clings to his rippled muscles. Heavy drops of water pattern the tattoos along his neck. He breaks apart from my lips, searching my eyes.
“You’re fucking crazy,” he says. “You’re a backstabbing smart ass.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I stutter. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m?—”
“I love you.”
His lips intertwine with mine before I can process what he said. Our tongues dance, fighting for warmth and comfort in one another, and everything melts away. He leans me against the rocks and peels my shirt off of my chest, letting it bunch above my breasts, and he sucks my nipples like they’re giving him life.
We should stop; as long as the weather doesn’t slow them down, Tomo and Cherry will be here soon, but neither of us can keep our hands off of each other. Maybe I want them to see us like this; it’s a declaration of love to each other: Jay dead at our feet while Kenzo and I hump like animals on the side of a mountain. And Kenzo feels like home. Like safety. Like everything I’ve carried inside of me is shifting until he’s clutching my heart tightly between his hands, keeping it safe. Kenzo’s love is lightness and forgiveness, and it gives me hope.
He pulls out his cock, and I stumble out of my jeans until I’m naked. Kenzo scoops me up, laying me down on the sticky ground. The rain batters our bodies, but the last bit of lightning darts across the clouds, illuminating Kenzo’s face, and it’s like I’m back in the desert next to the bonfire, looking up into Kenzo’s eyes again, knowing that I’m safe. Our love started out as deceitful, a brutal combination of lust and lies, but everything is different now, real and honest, and I’ll never let it go. I wrap my legs around his back, and he thrusts harder into me.
“I love you,” he says. “I love you so fucking much, Vi. This is going to cause so much shit.” He laughs. “But I promise, I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again.”
The sobs come out, but I hold him close.
“I love you,” I whisper into his ear. I can’t say anything else, but I know these words are the only ones that matter right now.
His hand closes around my throat right as the orgasm reaches him, and from that look alone, I come too, knowing everything he says is true. Kenzo will never lie to me, and I will never lie to him ever again.
He lays his head beside mine as our breathing slows to a normal tempo. The rain patters on the rocks, and a stream of water trickles beside us. He pushes himself up, then offers a hand to help me stand. I take his hand, then I slide into my soaked clothes and look up at the sky.
I should be anxious about seeing Kenzo’s family and facing their judgment. I should be worried about what we’re going to do with Jay’s body. I should be concerned the Endo-kai will execute me now, like they had ordered Kenzo to do before all of this. I should be scared about what the war with the Ito-gumi means for our future.
But Kenzo links his fingers in mine, and none of that matters. We’re alive. We’re home.
I glance around. The desert is wet with flash flood streams, but the corpse is gone now. Panic flutters in my chest. Is Jay still alive? Where’s the gun?
“Where is he?” I say, quivering. “Where?—”
Kenzo motions off to the side, and there’s Jay. Dirty and wet, the blood gone, washed away with the rain. Gray-brown hair matted to his forehead. Lifeless blue eyes aimed at the dark sky. The rain carried him there.
Relief swells through me. My chest relaxes, and Kenzo strokes my back in a soothing rhythm. Jay isn’t my family. I understand that now.
But I have Kenzo, and I know he loves me.