Chapter 18
“Hey, girl, look what arrived already.” I quickly glance over my shoulder and see Dani strutting confidently into my room, pushing a clothing rack filled with clothes and shoes. “There’s a shit ton more of these out in the hall as well. You’re going to be all dolled up and feeling like a queen in no time.” She claps her hands together, ready to work on her latest project. Me .
I stare at the reflection I see in the mirror, trying to get my breathing under control, hanging onto the side of the vanity for support. But it’s no use, I feel like I’m having a panic attack, drowning in the fear that’s consuming me. I couldn’t care less if some fancy new clothes have arrived. I didn’t want them in the first place. All I want is my old life back, where I can be the na?ve, carefree college kid I’m supposed to be at this age. I don’t want to know the truth about this world. Or be a gazillionaire. I just want to be free.
She reaches my shoulder. “You okay, baby?” she asks softly, giving it a squeeze.
I meet her eyes in the mirror. “No, I’m not fucking okay, Dani. Would you be after getting told you should have been killed for just trying to protect someone you care about? I’m stuck in the middle of some fucking war I don’t understand the rules to. I can’t trust anyone.” A silent sob escapes me, and I clutch my chest. Pain radiates through me at the hopelessness I feel.
“You can trust me.”
I slowly turn toward her. “ You .” I laugh bitterly. “You belong to Geovani too. I bet anything you do or say is recorded and watched by him just like everything I do is. I’m alone. And that’s the truth.” I am filled with such resentment that it seeps into every word I speak. How is this my life?
“I know it feels like Geovani is a bit harsh at times, but you have to remember the world he grew up in, with the pa he had. He wasn’t taught how to love the way you or I were. He was taught how to lie, steal, and kill to get what he wanted.”
“How the fuck is that my problem now?”
She gives me a look like I’m vapid. “Because you guys have this thing going on.”
I blink back at her in disbelief. “This thing? No. There is nothing going on. I’m not letting some other man manipulate and control me.” I stare up at the ceiling, searching for wherever the fuck these hidden cameras are, hoping he’s watching me right now and he can hear every bit of my anger toward him. “I hate him, and if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay away from me.”
She looks wounded on his behalf. “Harsh, girl.”
I shove past her and walk back into my room, scanning the rack for something to wear that will torture him. At this point there is nothing else I can do. The dress Dani made me buy is right there in front of me, and I pull it from the bag, deciding maybe she was right about something. He will jizz in his pants seeing me in this instead of the normal bland stuff I’ve been wearing round here. I find some underwear to co-ordinate and pull them on, then slip the dress over my head, securing the zipper in place. It’s a sheath dress in a jade green and fits like a glove. I smooth the soft fabric over my hips. Dani was right, it shows off all my best assets. I look like a million bucks in it.
She wolf whistles when I re-enter the bathroom. “Yeah, you’re done with him.” She smirks knowingly from her place in the doorway.
I fix my make-up and hair, doing everything I can to pull myself together so I can make it through today. I have no other choice, after all. I’m trapped here with these people.
As I enter the room, I notice a pair of heeled ankle boots with red soles placed on top of their box, waiting for me. I know they will match perfectly with this dress. I have doubts about Dani’s trustworthiness, but perhaps she has some level of support for me. I slip them on then zip them up. Taking a deep breath, I stride down the stairs and past the hallway toward the office, walking right by his desk with a subtle sway of my hips as I make my way to my own workstation.
I feel his eyes on me.
They’re always on me.
I sit down at my station, my fingers trembling just a little with the adrenaline still rushing through me from our altercation. With my graphic design background, they have me updating some websites for Geovani’s more legitimate businesses. Part of me feels like it’s just busy work to keep me in here with them so they can keep an eye on me. But today, I’m grateful for the distraction. Besides, I actually like working. I channel all my attention into my work doing the best I can. While my life may not be reaching its full potential, this can provide me with a small amount of satisfaction to relieve that feeling of wasting away.
Every now and then I glance over in his direction. I know today is important, I overheard him and Dani talking about shutting down all of Carlo’s bank accounts. They also have a meeting with some thugs who used to work for him in an attempt to make it clear Carlo has turned on his own people. He’s now siding with Enzo, and if he won’t take care of them, they will fall under Geovani’s protection from now on. Every day he ups the pressure against his pa, hoping that something will flush him out of hiding.
Something Marco said to me this morning keeps playing through my head, and I decide it’s time to test out Dani’s friendship. When she’s done talking to Geovani, I move over to her desk. “You said you’re a whiz with computers. Can you give me a hand with something?”
“Anything, girl, pull up a seat.”
I grab my roller chair and come to sit with Dani. “I want to know how my ma died. Was there a toxicology report done, was her death investigated at all?”
She looks me over, biting into her lip as she thinks. “Hmm, okay. Let’s start with her death certificate. What was her full name?” She turns back to her computer, ready to type.
“Lucia Viviana Havardi,” I tell her, my heart aching as I say her name.
She types away, clicking on links and entering passwords. It doesn’t take her long before she’s found what she was looking for, my mother’s death certificate. “It says here her cause of death was acute opioid intoxication resulting in respiratory failure. The manner of death was listed as accidental.”
I purse my lips together. That’s what we were told, drug overdose, but I don’t believe it. That story was so suspicious. I might have been young, but I don’t ever remember my ma intoxicated in any way. If she was such an addict, I’m sure there would be a memory or something that would add up.
“What did you want it to say?” Dani asks, shoving her glasses back up her nose.
“That’s what I expected.”
“But you don’t believe it.”
“I was really young when it happened, but I’m positive my ma wasn’t a drug addict. And I know Marco agrees.” I lean in closer to her. “I think Enzo had something to do with it. He was the one who fed Marco the story about it being our papa who was giving her drugs, but it doesn’t add up.”
“So we need to find if there was a connection between your ma and Enzo.” She starts typing again. Images flash up on the screen, events from around the time she died.
“Wait, go back,” I call to her, thinking I might have seen something. There! I point at the screen. “My ma, with Valentina.”
“It says here this was a charity luncheon. It doesn’t prove anything. If your papa worked with Enzo, the wives would have known each other. Valentina makes a point of knowing everyone.”
“I bet she does. Keep going.”
She types away again. “There is no sign of her ever checking into any rehab centers or hospitals with anything drug related at all. Normally, if a person has substance abuse problems, there would be some medical history before they suffer a fatal overdose. Hmm,” she mutters, staring at her screen more closely. “This might take a while. Leave it with me and I’ll let you know what I find.”
I glance over to Geovani’s desk and see he’s watching us. Of course he fucking is. “Thanks.” I offer her a half smile, taking my chair back to my desk. Hoping she really will come through with the goods. I just know there is more to her story.
After a couple of hours, an email notification pops up on my screen, and I check it, hoping it’s from Dani. She’s been furiously staring at her screen since I left her to it, but when I open it, it’s from Geovani. Details for me to make up an invitation for an event he has this weekend. I print out the attachment so I can work on the invite this afternoon. But, as I glance over the details, I find myself inhaling sharply. It’s for an underground fight at the old theatre we met Elisa and Catherine at. Geovani and some dude I’ve never heard of before, The Beast .
He has another fight! Why does that make my heart flutter and my stomach sink at the same time. I shouldn’t care at all. What does it matter to me if he gets handed his ass in some stupid fight. But deep down, I know it does. These fights have few rules, and the last one I witnessed ended in spectators being shot and killed because of the Morettis. I care, even if I don’t want to.
With way too much adrenaline still pumping through my veins, I stand in a rush and stride over to his desk. “You can’t be serious about this.” I slap the scrap of paper on his desk.
He glances up at me, brow raised casually. He’s cooled down since this morning, back to his normal self. Well, good for him. I haven’t. “Deadly.” He grins, all teeth, his arrogance pissing me off even more.
“Oh, and it’s me who’s going to get us all killed,” I snip with a roll of my eyes. “This is the most stupid idea ever. And for what, so you can prove what a big man you are? Fuck that. Right now, we have no idea where your pa is, but we know he wants us dead. And Enzo is also clearly after us, if last night is anything to go by. Why not give them a fucking location to find us at? And better yet, make it a crumbling building so we can all be buried in rubble when it falls to the floor after they attack.” I know I’m being dramatic and this all probably sounds ridiculous to him, but I need him to see what a hypocrite he is.
He rolls his chair back and stands in a rush, getting up in my space. “Are you finished?”
I glare back at him, hands on my hips as I tilt my head up to meet his steely gaze. “No. You are unbelievable…”
“I can’t just pull out of a fight because Carlo has gone haywire and the Morettis are throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their way. This fight is important.” He cuts me off, his temper rising back to boiling point. “Dani, Marco, now would be a good time to leave,” he instructs the others, and they promptly vacate the office space. Dani’s eyes meet mine for just a second as if to say, girl, you’re in trouble now .
I shake my head. It pisses me off how he snaps his fingers, and they just do what he says.
When they’re safely out of the room, his eyes lock with mine again. “Precautions have been taken to make sure the location is secure; we also have a massive security team who will be manning the place. There is no way either Enzo or Carlo will be able to infiltrate the theatre. I take my job extremely seriously, and I don’t take risks with my safety or yours.”
“What was last night then? We thought that was a brilliant idea until it wasn’t.”
A growl escapes him, and I take a step back, wobbling a little on my new heels. “I took that risk for you! Because you asked me to in the hope the boys might be able to lead us to Carlo. You never did tell me if you got Alex to agree to helping us.”
“He agreed to let me take back control over all Havardi operations, so long as when the time comes, our people will turn on Enzo and help him rise to the top.”
“Sounds like him. Hope you got everything you needed from the boys last night because you won’t be seeing them again any time soon.”
Adrenaline and anger course through me. How dare he dictate who I see. “Ha. Oh, I get it. That’s what this morning was all about. You’re pissed about me reconnecting with them.”
His glare intensifies. “That’s what we’re calling it?”
“You want to go there?” I smirk cruelly, enjoying this way more than I should with a man I know is so deadly. “You’re jealous that your cousins took turns fucking me, Geovani? Does it get you all worked up that Alex’s cock was buried so damn deep inside of me I can still feel where he was this morning?” I ask smugly. I can see he’s about to lose his temper, but I can’t stop myself. He tipped me over the edge and I’m bringing him flying down with me. “Is that why you treated me like shit this morning when we’re supposed to be in this together? Well, I’m glad! Now I know your true colors. Be fucking jealous all you want. Hope you’ve got all those creepy videos of me recorded somewhere safe to keep you company late at night, because it’s all you’re going to have of me from now on.” I turn to stride away from him. I’ve said my piece, and now I’m sick of looking at him.
He lashes out and grabs me by the arm, spinning me back to face him so fast it makes my head spin. He stares me down, his breathing ragged like an animal about to strike. “You don’t get to block me out,” he snaps, his words pure venom.
I tilt my chin, trying to act braver than I feel right now. “No, you’ve made damn well sure of that, trapping me in this apartment with you.”
“Stop being such a spoiled brat, Harley. I’m doing this all for you.” His anger vibrates through me. “You are not my prisoner.”
“You’re suffocating me. I can’t take a fucking breath without you knowing about it. You see everything I do, hear everything I say. And now you want to dictate who I see as well. I won’t go without seeing the boys, they’re important to me. This war you four have going on has nothing to do with me, and I won’t be stuck in the middle of it. I thought you were different, but you know what? You’re worse than Alessandro and my papa combined. You’re a fucking control freak, and I’m done with it.” I shove his chest, wanting to get away from him.
His jaw tightens, and I hear the grinding of his teeth. “It’s not about control…”
“Then what the fuck is it, Geo?” I bang on his chest again. “I might have been locked up behind bars with the boys, but at least I knew where I stood. This place looks like the lap of luxury, but I feel the invisible chain I’m shackled to. It’s the same old prison, just disguised in a different way. And to top it off, you’re practically stalking me! It’s too much, I can’t take it anymore!” My body shakes with all the anger and frustration I have been holding on to.
“I already lost someone I loved. I’m not losing you as well,” he snaps, his voice rough, a tremble in his hands he can’t mask.
I stare back at him in shock. “Bianca?” I whisper in question.
His head drops, and he takes a step back from me, collapsing into his office chair. He stares at the floor blankly, and I just stand here watching him, not sure what to say or do. “I wasn’t there for Bea when she needed me. I didn’t see the signs. Fuck knows I should have, after what she had been through, but I thought she was safe with me, she should be okay. Alex was right, she died because of me.” His voice is barely a whisper, but it sends a chill down my spine.
“How?” I squeak, feeling like my chest is going to combust. I never in a million years expected him to actually open up to me and show some vulnerability.
“She wasn’t one of us. She wasn’t strong enough to handle the world she was forced into. I thought by marrying her I would save her. I thought my love for her would be enough. But it’s never enough in this life. This life will destroy your soul.” His haunted eyes meet mine, and I know he thinks that’s what has happened to him. “Only those strong enough will survive, and even then, they will be an empty shell of the humans they once were.” I blink back at him, not sure what to say. I believe him. I know this world is slowly destroying me; every day I feel it change me more.
I see the mask he normally wears has slipped, and the pain he hides so well is now on show for me. “Don’t you get it, Harley? There is no escaping this hell. You are stuck here just as much as I am. Bianca was a sweet girl who was sold into a world she didn’t understand. I tried to save her, but too much damage had been done already. And I was too fucking selfish to notice the depths of the pain she was in, from all the damage that had been done. I was too busy trying to impress my pathetic pa and help him run his fucking empire to see what was happening to my girl right in front of me. And by the time I worked out how bad she really was, it was too late. She was gone. I’m not losing you as well.”
I see his heartbreak and feel every bit of it, every one of his words laced with tremendous pain. I know what it’s like to lose someone you care about. I learned that lesson way too early in my life when I lost my beautiful mother. With a heavy sigh, I take his hand in mine, needing to comfort him, his pain subduing my anger toward him.
He stares up at me like he’s about to break. We stay like this for quite some time, neither of us ready to break the moment. I can’t take away this pain. He lost the woman he loved, and I know he will have to live with that agony every day of his life. It explains so much about him and finally helps me see him differently. He’s broken, just as much as I am. Moving through this life just trying to survive the pain.
“Why is Alessandro so angry at you about what happened to her? Was she seeing him as well?” I ask, knowing it’s probably more than he wants to admit, but I can’t stand not knowing. They hate each other with so much passion, I can only imagine they both loved her. Right now, Geovani’s worst nightmare is coming true because it’s all happening over again with me, and that’s why he’s so reluctant for me to spend any time with the boys.
He pulls me down onto his lap. His hand laces into my hair and he nuzzles me in close, just breathing me in for a bit. I hug him back, needing to feel close to him just as badly. “She was his friend. We all used to be close. Until she died, and he blamed me. He was right too; it was my fault. I’m just like my pa.” I’m so close to him I feel the silent sob wrack through his body at the realization.
“I fucking hope not, Geo.”
“I don’t want to be anything like him. The way he treated my ma was fucking disgusting. She had to grow up with Enzo for a brother and a papa who was just as brutal and cruel, then she was forced to marry Carlo to join our two families. She was controlled her entire life and eventually couldn’t bear to stay in this world anymore, not even to save me and Elisa.”
My heart aches for him, my beautiful broken man. Is he saying his mother took her own life as well? I knew she died when he was young but had no idea how. “Geovani…”
“No, I need to tell you everything. You need to understand why I’m so fucking messed up. I got Elisa out of here as soon as I knew she was at risk, and I watch over you like a fucking psycho, because every woman I love takes her own life to escape me.”
My hand moves to his face, cupping his jaw tenderly. “Geo.” I’m so sad for him. “I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what really happened with Bianca or your ma, but it doesn’t sound to me like this was all on you. You can’t spend your life blaming yourself or wondering what-ifs, you just can’t.” He stares into my eyes, looking at me like I have all the answers to save his tortured soul. And I wish I did. “You can’t wrap me in cotton batting, watching every move I make trying to protect me, scared I might do the same. I’m not them. But if you don’t loosen the hold you have on me, you will lose me for good because I’ll take off. I can’t be caged up; it’s making me crazy. I need space and for you to trust me to make smart choices to take care of myself.”
He rolls his lips, nibbling on his bottom lip as he watches me. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable before. Without giving it another thought, I press my lips to his, doing the only thing I know how to ease his pain.