6. Cave Lady Instincts
Cave Lady Instincts
SARAFINA
Nothing about it was dainty, little, or cute as I stared straight into the eyes of my brother’s best friend—the biggest crush I’d ever had in my life, and proceeded to inhale a full three ounces of orange juice down the wrong windpipe.
The glass nearly shattered as I slammed it onto the counter, wheezing wet pulp out of my airway.
Sweat beaded the back of my neck as I hacked up my left lung, desperately trying to stay alive, because today was not the day I was going to die by citrus.
Humiliation? Yeah, maybe. But not citrus, for Christ’s sake!
“Annnd now she’s awake.” Liam grinned, clearly enjoying my suffering as I smoothed my hair and tried to find some semblance of composure, suppressing another cough.
My mother gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything, and my father was completely unbothered. He was still reading his newspaper with a cup of piping hot black coffee, probably his second cup this morning.
“You okay?” Carter asked with an amused smile, fork in hand, eyes bright and expectant. Oh God. His gaze flicked over me just once before he quickly shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth, suddenly focusing far too intently on his plate.
When I looked down, I immediately realized why. Oh, motherfucker. My tits were hard, on display for all to see and—what the hell was I even wearing?!
My cheeks heated as I slowly processed the horrifying little number I’d pulled on in the dark.
A princess t-shirt that I’d had since I was twelve, that was so yellow, dingy and full of little holes that I wasn’t even sure it was clean.
Far too small sleeping shorts that I’d honestly never seen before in my life.
I most definitely had make-up smudged around my eyes, given the fact that I hadn’t bothered to wash my face last night, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my gaze dropped and I realized with complete horror—I’d forgotten to shave one of my legs, several times in a row, apparently.
I could have disintegrated into the tiled floor. Halo of frizzy hair and all.
Carter, on the other hand, looked like a freaking male model because, of course, he did.
His toffee-brown hair was perfectly mussed, the only sign he’d recently woken up.
Or maybe he’d styled it that way? I couldn’t decide.
And he was wearing some sort of tight athletic shirt that was honestly criminal .
It was practically screaming, hey look! Man muscles!
And not only was he huge, he had a new scar slashing across one of his eyebrows and a split lip that made me realize those new muscles weren’t just hard-earned, they were a necessity to surviving his new life.
I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way that made me feel.
He was all man now, and his figure was utterly imposing—not his burnt sienna-colored eyes though, they still had that same boyish warmth, still sparkled with those golden flecks of amber and crinkled at the corners—it was at that moment I became acutely aware of every part of my body because I realized I was staring , and worse, everybody was watching me stare at him . Shit.
Carter’s lips quirked across his stubbled jaw, and I quickly pivoted and then realized that gave him a perfect view of my half-covered ass.
Crap. Nowhere to go!
I was in full-out panic as I quickly grabbed a plate, knocking over the napkin holder in my attempt to reach for a piece of French toast with my bare hands.
Liam chuckled, still chowing down. “Somebody’s hungover.” Asshole.
I cleared my throat trying to steady my voice. “No, I only had a glass and a half.” I bit out, focusing on the pattern circling the edge of my plate. “I’m just a little tired since I was cramming before winter break.”
I was screaming internally. Did I look halfway composed on the outside? I had no idea. Where the hell were the girls?! Why hadn’t anybody warned me he was coming?
“Sure.” Liam scoffed, and I shot him a dirty look, but he only grinned.
I moved behind the shelter of the kitchen island and started pouring syrup on my French toast. When I finally dared another look in Carter’s direction, I was horrified to find he was already looking at me.
I suddenly turned into a wild animal, posturing, refusing to be the weaker one and break eye contact first. Carter’s gaze shifted lower, and I internally fist-pumped at being the winning primate, until I realized he was watching me make a maple syrup moat on my plate. For fuck’s sake.
“I didn’t know you were coming.” I said as casually as I could muster while I smashed another piece of French toast onto my plate, hoping it’d mop up all the extra syrup, but I was freaking the fuck out, and my voice was high and pitchy, despite my best efforts.
“Neither did I.” He was watching me so intently . “It was a last-second thing.”
“You look good.” This time, my voice sounded oddly flat. Crap. Too far the other way.
Carter opened his mouth as if to return the compliment and then refrained, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, the tension tightening between us by the second.
I crossed my arms over my boobs in an attempt to shield my embarrassingly hard nipples and rocked back on my bare heels, feeling alarmingly unhinged.
“You know, I haven’t heard from you in years.
I didn’t even know if you were still alive.
” My voice held far too much emotion, and I winced, knowing I sounded erratic.
So much for playing it cool. I sounded like I was in theater class doing different line takes, with my tone swinging from way too interested, to panicked, to outright rude.
“Sara.” My mother scolded me, pulling fruit out of the extra sub-zero refrigerator.
“That’s not something to joke about, you know Carter puts his life in danger every day.
” She arranged the fruit on a pretty platter and pushed it towards me before she turned to Carter, scolding, “You are taking care of yourself, being safe, aren’t you? ”
He chuckled. “Yes, of course.” Was he? How’d he get the split lip, the scar? Was this a regular thing for him to look this banged up? Then he added, “As much as I can be, anyway.”
I shoved a handful of blueberries into my mouth, chomping nervously.
“I talk to him every week.” Liam shrugged indifferently. “You could have joined one of our many, many video chats.” I shot Liam a death glare.
“You want to sit down?” Carter asked, motioning to the empty chair next to him in the breakfast nook.
No, I did not want to sit down. Not in this outfit and not next to him, but before I could protest, he pulled out the chair for me.
I gritted my teeth. Of course, he was ever the gentleman, always polite and cool as a cucumber.
“Sure,” I said tightly, trying not to draw any further attention to myself as I set my plate down next to his and slid into the velvet tufted, high-backed chair, feeling like it had suddenly turned into an interrogation seat.
I cut into my French toast far too aggressively. “Just would have been nice to hear something from you. You said—” I stopped myself, feeling the heavy rise and fall of my chest. Why was I so worked up? I thought I was over him. I was over him.
“You should have reached out.” Carter offered softly, still staring at me with those beautiful brown eyes.
“Or you could have.” I bit out before shoving a bite of French toast into my mouth.
“Sara, what has gotten into you?” My mother scolded, looking absolutely bewildered as she flipped another piece of French toast. “You two used to be thick as thieves. I thought you’d be happy Carter’s finally home for the holidays again.”
“She’s hungover.” Liam didn’t bother looking up from his phone to torture me.
“It’s fine, Charlotte.” Carter looked totally unbothered. “She’s right. I could have reached out. Should have reached out.” He corrected.
“See.” I said with a raise of my brows, but my sweet mother just gave me a look like, what the hell is your problem?
“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me after.
..” Carter’s voice trailed off as my eyes went wide, silently begging him to shut his goddamn trap.
He pivoted, thank God. At least I wasn’t totally dead to him.
“Well, you just seemed pretty upset when I told you I was leaving back then.” Annnd never mind.
Thanks for outing me to the whole table.
Carter looked down, cutting his already cut French toast into an even smaller piece, and I ignored Liam’s suspicious gaze darting between the two of us.
I hadn’t seen Carter since the charity auction.
That awful, horrible night. We hadn’t spoken since he’d rejected my almost kiss, which in hindsight might not have been my smoothest move—trying to kiss him on a dare.
But still. He’d broken my heart in more ways than one that night, and then he’d left, and I’d never heard from him.
Not once. He’d wanted to leave his old life behind, and I guess that included me.
I was devastated. He was more than a crush. He was my best friend, and now I had no idea what we were. If there even was a we . It was embarrassing, thinking our friendship had ever been more than that. He’d always been Liam’s friend first—a fact I was continually reminded of.
Despite my current behavior, I was genuinely relieved he was safe. Maybe a little too relieved for my liking.
I suddenly realized everyone at the table was staring at me, waiting for me to respond to whatever Carter had just said. “I’m just glad you’re home safe and sound.” My smile was forced, and I couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
I ate quickly, refusing to look Carter in the eye again before I excused myself upstairs to get ready for the festivities. After I’d showered, I threw on a cute oversized t-shirt from my duffle bag and vowed to burn the princess shirt along with my dignity the moment I got the chance.
My dripping wet hair soaked the back of my shirt as I dumped out my Hermès cosmetics bag onto the glass surface of my makeup vanity, neatly organizing everything into the drawers for the week. There was no way in hell I would be caught looking that haggard ever again.
I zoned out, staring at nothing, and thinking about everything. My pulse fluttered as I closed my eyes, he was home. It was bound to happen eventually, I just hadn’t expected to have such a visceral reaction.
It was like my cave lady instincts were kicking in, yoo-hoo here’s a man that could whack dinner over the head with a big stick, and drag it back to the cave for you.
I would reprimand myself for noticing, but honestly, you’d have to be blind to miss it.
Even then, he had smelled too good, minty and familiar, but more manly and musky.
Just entirely too sexy. I was just a mere mortal, and he was like a tempting?—
A sharp knock startled me at the door, and I yelped, banging my knee into the vanity. “It’s me.” Carter’s deep, velvety voice called from the other side, and my stomach flipped.