25. Counting Sheep and Panties
Counting Sheep and Panties
CARTER
I must have woken up fifteen times during the night, my raging hard on, aching with want and need.
Sara wasn’t sober, so nothing was going to happen, of course, but it didn’t change the fact that I’d imagined her in my bed at least a thousand times, and now, here she was, curled up in my arms. Her curly hair was tangled around my arm, shoved into my face and mouth, and it was even better than I’d ever imagined.
Knowing she’d slept in my bed naked—shit, I couldn’t think about that right now. Not to mention the lacy fucking underwear I’d found stuffed into my dresser between all her clothes.
Knowing what her underwear looked like…
Fucking hell. One imagined. Wondered. But now I knew . They were all kinds of colors and styles, but they all had one thing in common, they were soft, lacy and skimpy as fuck.
I needed a cold shower.
And that dildo. Damn that fucking dildo, it was still somewhere in the bed with us. I swallowed hard and tried not to picture what she looked like, using it on these very sheets.
Her sliding that sparkly thing in and out of herself, making more of those little noises that I could easily swallow down my own throat—all while her skin was damp on my sheets, head thrown back on my pillows.
It was all like a fucking wet dream come to life.
And what had she been thinking about, using that sparkly thing in my bed? Had she been thinking about me?
Just then Sara murmured and threaded her leg over mine, leaving my knee now snugly jammed against the place I was desperately trying not to think about. Only the thin cotton of my borrowed boxers stood between me and the warm damp spot I could feel.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.
I forced a slow, steady breath in through my nose and out through my mouth, over and over until I wasn’t a live wire ready to explode.
It didn’t do much good, though. She smelled too damn good, and it wasn’t just her shampoo this time.
It was everything, her skin, her arousal, all of it was mixing into a delirious cocktail that forced all my blood in one direction, no matter how hard I tried.
I started counting backwards from a thousand before I got distracted.
Why had she decided to sleep here, anyway?
Then it hit me… Brad stumbling up his driveway, drunk. We’d talked about a lot of things over these last few months, but we hadn’t talked about that.
Death was a clusterfuck of pain and misery that continued to unravel, no matter how hard you tried to stop pulling the thread. I understood at a certain point, there was only so much you could say about it.
What had happened was devastating, but what the actual fuck?
Seeing Brad like that was wildly disappointing.
In fact, that didn’t even begin to cover it, and yet, to a degree, I understood it.
The falling apart because of the loss. I couldn’t help feeling like even though it was only Sara’s mother who was gone, that it didn’t matter.
In her own way, she’d lost both of her parents .
Just like me.
I hated that for her, and for Liam.
Liam. Fuck, what would Liam do if he found out about this? Us? I started counting backwards from a thousand again.
Before I knew it, the sun was coming up, and it didn’t matter that I’d hardly gotten any sleep. I was as wound up as the energizer bunny.
I pushed the covers down, trying to cool off. It had taken all night, but Sara had finally warmed up. Now that her skin was warm against mine, she seemed to radiate heat like her own personal furnace.
I wasn’t complaining about the situation by any means, but I never slept in sweats, and between every inch of her body pressed against mine, and my heart pounding arousal. I was ready to combust. I needed an ice-cold shower, and fast.
I just couldn't stop staring at her, hardly believing this moment was even real. Sara’s mouth hung open, snoring softly—her tongue was stained blue from whatever God-awful sugary drinks she’d no doubt slammed down, one after another, last night.
I smiled to myself as I gently shifted, trying my best to untangle our limbs without waking her, but Sara grumbled, reaching for me as I slid to the edge of the bed.
I quietly pulled the covers back over her, tucking her in, and then propped an arm over the other side of her body, utterly mesmerized by this little slice of heaven.
She looked so peaceful that I couldn’t resist stroking a thumb over her cheek. She swallowed, closing her mouth, and I pushed a curl behind her ear, gently enough not to wake her.
I could hardly peel myself away, wanting to brand this moment into my memory forever, because I doubted it would ever happen again .
When I finally made it into the shower, I locked the door and immediately fisted my hard, aching cock under the hot water.
I bit down on any moans, as I remembered how wet she’d been, splayed over me last night.
I wondered what it’d feel like to actually slide into that tight warmth, and I imagined the whimpering little sounds she’d make when I did it.
Stuff I shouldn’t be thinking about at all, but it wasn’t two seconds before I was pumping into my hand hard and fast, and thick hot ropes were spraying onto the shower walls. When I was done, I braced both hands against the stone, letting the steaming hot water wash away my guilt.
Fuck me. I was never going to get last night out of my mind.
The image of her body in that soaked, see-through dress, the way I could see the outline of everything important. The heat of her wet, pulsing pussy, gliding over me, just that once.
That one would follow me like a ghost, day and night, until the day I died. I pushed the thought away, because I couldn’t spend all day jacking off in here like a horny teenager.
When I got out of the shower, I grabbed my phone and checked the security cameras, making sure the Uber driver hadn’t come back last night. I’d promised to do something horrific to his eyes if I ever caught him trying to peep a look again, and I’d meant it.
A strange sort of possessiveness washed over me as I watched the footage.
Sara frantically trying the door, multiple times, glancing over her shoulder nervously when the code failed.
What killed me is that even though I was right here—I would’ve had no idea if that piece of shit had gotten out of the car and tried something.
The thought enraged me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that was building in my chest.
Something that softly whispered, mine, mine, mine, like a drum that ruled the beat of my heart.
Nobody was going to touch what was mine.
Towel wrapped around my waist, I came out of the bathroom desperately trying to silence that ridiculous voice. The sheets rustled, and I realized Sara was propped up on her elbows, a shy little smile on her face, looking sexy as fuck, in my bed, wearing my clothes.
The drumbeat pulsed on, and I quickly shoved it down. “Hey.” I said, putting my phone down on the dresser.
“Hey.” She was all swirly and nervous like she’d been the day of her art class. I freaking loved it.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, hoping she’d gotten enough sleep.
At least that would make one of us. She shook her head no, and I noticed a sparkle still glinting in her hair.
“I see the cat ears lasted all night.” I chuckled as her eyes flicked away from my bare chest. Last night she’d done a lot of staring, but then again, so had I.
She reached up, her voice still raw from sleep. “I don’t even remember where I got these.” She struggled to untangle the sequined headband from her hair.
“Here.” I crossed the room. “Let me.”
Her eyes flared as I walked closer. “Thanks.” She murmured, wrapping her arms around her legs, dipping her head while I carefully detangled the headband from her frizzy curls.
When I finally got it loose and handed it to her, she tossed it on the bed—before slyly tugging the covers over the dildo that had reappeared amidst the sheets.
Damn it, I was already hard again. Imagining her using that damn thing had me tenting my towel. I used the opportunity to turn my back to her and head towards the walk-in closet. “So you went out drinking alone?” I asked, keeping my voice light as I changed around the corner.
Sara cleared her throat. “It’s really not a big deal.”
“Yeah, Sar, it kind of is.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you last night. I didn’t even know you’d be home, otherwise, I wouldn’t have come.”
With the important parts clothed, I leaned in the closet doorway and crossed my arms. “ You , scare me ?” I raised a brow. “How about you nearly peeing your pants you were so scared? ”
“I thought you were a bear.” She admitted.
“A bear?”
“You were practically growling when you came out of the bathroom.”
“Was I growling, or were you just totally wasted?”
She scrunched her nose in the admittance of guilt. “Both?”
I chuckled. “Sure.” I opened my mouth to tell her why I’d come tearing out of the bathroom, but quickly caught myself. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing.” I scolded.
She tilted her head innocently. “What?” God damned angel.
“Changing the subject.” I said, as if it weren’t obvious.
“Is it working?” She batted her long dark lashes at me, the smudges of makeup around her eyes making her that much more endearing.
“No.” I shook my head with a chuckle. “Why’d you stay here instead of your place? The walk too far?” I teased.
She winced. “I’m sorry. I should have asked you first. It’s totally weird, right?” She nervously looked at her nails, adding quietly, “Probably should have stayed in a guest bedroom too.”
“The beds weren’t made up.” I reminded her.
“That’s not why I picked your room.” She said so softly I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.
She’d meant to sleep in my bed— pink dildo and all?! My mind started whirring with possibilities. I swallowed hard. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“No.” She laughed, “I guess I didn’t.”
“Why are you hiding from Liam? From your dad?” I asked gently.
She was a terrible liar. “I just, uh, I wanted some alone time before I went over there.” Was her father coming home drunk a regular occurrence?
“You could’ve had alone time at your apartment.
” I countered. She looked at me for a long moment, like she wanted to tell me the real reason, but she closed her mouth again.
I moved to the dresser and put my watch on, knowing that was all the answer I was going to get for now. “I know about your art exhibition.”
“What?” Her voice turned slightly panicked.
“Sloane told me.” I said over my shoulder, meeting her wide brown eyes.
Sara flopped back onto the bed with a groan. “Why would she do that?”
“Because you need people there to support you.” I sat on the edge of the bed.
She threw an arm over her eyes, hiding. “You don’t want to see it.”
“Sure I do.” I pulled her arm down so I could see her face. Even now, I could tell she was still hurting so damn much. I wished there was something I could do to ease her grief, to help her find her spark again.
She exhaled. “No, really, you don’t.”
“Care to tell me why?” I tugged on her shirt, and she finally looked at me.
“It’s just, it’s different than the piece I sent you.” She looked down.
“That’s okay. Different is good, different is moving forward.” I wanted to touch her, and even though we’d been pressed together all night, for some reason, I didn’t know if I should. “Every collection is bound to be different, besides it shows your versatility as an artist.” I encouraged.
“Maybe.” I could hear the sadness in her voice. It had snaked its way into her heart and stolen everything from her, sapped the joy right out of her, and I hated it, seeing her so sad.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to see what it’s all about tonight.” I teased gently, and her gaze snapped up. “Oh yeah, I’m coming, and there is nothing you can do to stop me, sweetheart.” I leaned back on my forearms, snapping my teeth at her bare feet.
She yanked her feet back with a gasp, and something lusty passed through her eyes. She chewed on her lip, considering whatever it was playing through her pretty little head, and then smiled to herself.
God, I wanted to dive into the bed and crush her, wanted to kiss her, wanted to give her something good, anything good. She deserved it so damn much.
I didn’t do any of that. “Do you want to grab a shower? I was going to pick up some breakfast for us.”
She nodded emphatically. “Yeah, a shower would be good. Really, really good.”
Just for a minute, I didn’t stop myself from staring. She was so beautiful even after just waking up, actually, especially after just waking up. “You want your usual?” I finally asked, and she smiled softly at me and nodded.
Damn, she looked way too good in my bed.