31. The Dare #2
I didn’t give myself time to second-guess as I threw myself off the ledge and hoped he’d catch me.
“You don’t get it. It wasn’t just that he was moving too fast, Carter.
” My voice wavered, but I kept going. “I told him to stop multiple times, and he didn’t.
Nothing happened exactly, but I had to shove him off me, and it fucking sucked.
” Carter’s eyes shuttered, his knuckles going white as he gripped the dresser so hard it groaned, but I kept going.
“The worst part is, I wasn’t even into him.
I was just lonely and confused. The day he met me, I was literally lying in the middle of a sidewalk on campus, crying.
” I admitted against my better judgment and immediately hated how heartbroken Carter looked at that.
“Sad, lonely, vulnerable girls are apparently his type.” I added quietly while I anxiously fiddled with a single sequin on the cat ears, wondering if I had it in me to admit the rest.
“Is that what I’m doing?” Carter asked warily. “Are you sad and lonely, and I’m taking advantage of you when you just need a good friend? ”
I looked at Carter for a good long while and then huffed out a frustrated noise. “Why do you always think you’re the bad guy?”
“Maybe I am.”
“You’re not.”
His eyes dragged over me, making my skin heat. “I’m no better than?—”
“You’re better than everyone.” I quietly cut him off. “You’re my best friend, and no, a friend is not the only thing I need. What I need—” I huffed, knowing I should keep my mouth shut, but he had me all worked up and I couldn’t think straight, so I hid behind my eyelids.
“Tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.” He said earnestly.
“What I need i s a good, God damn fucking.” I snapped, and Carter’s eyes flared with surprise.
“My thighs are literally a slip-and-slide right now because—to answer your question from earlier, no, I’m not wearing any underwear!
It would have given me panty lines, and because of you.
” I motioned up and down his body, and Carter could hardly suppress his laughter as he hid a wildly amused smile behind his fist. “Well, you know why.” I stuttered out ineloquently.
“I know you do. You gave me the kiss of all kisses, and you showed up for me tonight, and you always show up for me when it matters most, and this,” I touched the necklace breathlessly.
“You’re so incredibly thoughtful, and you’re worried about hurting me?
Sometimes you’re too damn protective. You know that?
Maybe I don’t want to be protected. Maybe I want to be fucked.
” I said incredulously, and his eyes heated at that.
“You’re worried you’re going to break me, but sometimes it feels like you’re the only thing putting me back together— truth.
” I quickly stopped myself before I confessed the most brutal thing of all.
“Don’t stop.” Amber-flecked eyes begged. “Please don’t stop.”
“Truth.” I admitted, eyes shuttering because I couldn’t bear to look at him when I said it. “ I’m terrified. ”
“What are you so afraid of, pretty girl?” Carter’s eyes darted between mine, trying to decipher.
“Of getting what I want.” I shrugged. “Of not getting what I want.” I let my gaze drag over his tall, imposing figure very slowly.
Carter licked his lips, his mouth parting as each breath came a little faster. “What exactly is it that you want?”
I smiled deviously, trying to hide my nerves. “I think it’s your turn, Casanova. I’ve had enough truth-telling for now.” I leaned back on my forearms, dangling my feet off the edge of his bed.
He gave me a long look and shook his head. “I see how it is.”
“Truth or dare.” I asked sweetly, my heart still thrumming a mile a minute from my word vomit.
“Truth.” He smirked, shaking his head.
“Why did you take my hair tie that day?” I was desperate for the answer.
His brown eyes shimmered like molten caramel, and he considered for a long while before he finally answered. “To replace the one I took— the night before I left for basic .”
I sat straight up. “What?”
“I wanted something to keep you close while I was gone.” He admitted.
“That flimsy little thing survived through some of the shittiest days I’ve had, and you know when it finally broke?
” He shook his head. “I had it on that morning, Thanksgiving, and I was so nervous to come up to your room and talk to you, that’s when it finally broke.
” He looked away. “I was trying to figure out what I was going to say because I was terrified that you never wanted to speak to me again.” His voice was hardly above a whisper.
“This one was a replacement. Just in case you decided you were done with me for good.”
My pulse thrummed, realizing what he’d just admitted.
He looked devastated as he gazed at me, eyes so full of yearning.
“You’re my best friend too, Sara, and I’m terrified of losing you.
I don’t want to screw up what we have because I need you more than you even realize, and fuck.
” He gripped the back of his neck, looking distraught.
“I’ve tried not to cross the line with you, I really have, but then you show up here, looking like that , and you’re sleeping in my bed with that fucking thing.
” He motioned to the dildo, still buried in the sheets.
“And I can’t help but hope that maybe you feel the same— truth.
” He added, desperation drenching his beautiful eyes.
I could hardly breathe. “Carter.”
“Not to mention, seducing me with strawberry everything.” He added wildly, with a dramatic roll of his eyes and then more quietly, “Why do you smell so fucking good. All the fucking time .” His eyes shuttered.
“And taste so fucking good.” I smiled quietly as a fluttering swell filled my chest. “Feel so good.” His shoulders caved slightly at the admittance.
“Carter.” I whispered.
He swallowed hard, and kept going, eyes glued to the dildo in the sheets. “Truth or dare. Are you going to use that thing when I leave?” He rasped.
“That’s not how truth or dare works. I have to pick first.” I whispered.
He took a step towards me. “Then pick truth.”
“You’re going to leave?” I asked, teetering between the thrill of him coming closer and the confusion that he was going to leave. Why? After everything we’d each just said.
“Answer. The. Question.”
“Yes,” I answered breathily even as heat flushed my cheeks at the admittance. “I’m definitely going to need to do something after that kiss.” I’d been hoping it would be with him though.
He smirked.
Oh. My. God.
What was I even saying?
Shut your goddamn mouth, Sara!
I didn’t know if I’d ever been this honest in my life, and what a terrible time to start.
“Your turn.” A wicked look stirred in his eyes.
“Truth.” I buried my face in my hands. “I’m horrified that I just said that—that you know I used that thing in your bed. ”
“Truth,” he hummed, “why exactly were you using that thing in my bed? Hmm?” Then brazenly, “Don’t you have a boyfriend to take care of your needs, pretty girl?”
I shook my head no. Obviously not. He just wanted to hear me say it. Again.
“No?” he asked, feigning surprise, his voice low and pleased.
“Truth.” I breathed, my entire body trembling.
“Yes?” he rasped and took a step closer.
“I’ve had real shit luck with guys.” I whispered, admitting another little secret, and he stilled halfway across the room. “I don’t think I know how to trust anyone anymore.”
“I know.” He said so gently, and waited there, glued to the floor. I knew he wouldn’t move, not until I asked him to. As if everything about him wasn’t already turning me on, his patience was too.
“Truth. You should probably know before we go any further that I think there might be something wrong with me.” I admitted, my voice shaky as I spoke the inner fear out loud for the first time.
“Truth. I haven’t been with anyone in a while because I’m honestly not sure I’m any good at it .
” Oh boy, I should shut my mouth now, before I said something I couldn’t take back.
“Truth. It took me an entire month to muster up the courage to buy that thing, because I needed to take things into my own hands—because nobody’s ever made me finish before, and I-I-wanted to see if I even could. ”
His eyes gleamed at that. “ Nobody? ”
“There’s something wrong with me.” My voice wavered, because a small part of me was terrified I wouldn’t be enough for him, for anyone.
“I don’t think I can.” Shit. The cat was out of the bag now.
That’s right folks, I willingly outed myself as the broken thing I was.
What the hell was wrong with me? I had zero game.
“How many people have tried?” Carter asked, a confident sparkle in his eye at the unspoken challenge in the air.
“A few?”
He raised his brows.
“Three.” I whispered, wondering if he thought that was a lot or a little.
“Truth,” Carter said carefully. “Can you make yourself feel good with that?”
“Carter.” I pleaded, heat flushing my cheeks. I was never going to live this down.
“Sarafina.” He waited, so patiently waited , even as I begged him with my eyes.
“I don’t know.” I admitted under my breath. “Kinda?”
“Hmm.” He mused. “That’s very interesting.”
“ Carter. ” It was practically a whine.
“And you still think there’s something wrong with you?”
“Maybe?” I whispered. “Probably.”
His smile was feline. “I can prove to you in fifteen minutes there’s not a damn thing wrong with you, pretty girl.
” He smirked adding, “But just because I can prove my theory quickly doesn’t mean I will.
In fact, when I do finally get my hands on you, sweetheart, I can promise, I’ll be taking my sweet, sweet time . ”
Oh God. I swallowed hard, the ache of desire blooming within me was growing more excruciating by the second, tempered only by my anxiety. “I think you’re underestimating my problem—not to mention that sounds more like a dare to me.”
“Fact,” Carter emphasized cockily, but still didn’t move from where he stood. “I could make you come ten ways to Sunday.” He motioned to the dildo. “Using only that.” He lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers lazily. “Or these. Dealer’s choice. ” He sucked his teeth with a smirk, waiting.
“Fact.” I swallowed hard. “Maybe I would let you try.”
“Fact.” He suppressed a smile, and it was the longest pause of my life before he finished his thought. “I wouldn’t have to try .”
My heart was about to take flight in my chest. “I think you’re overly confident.” The words were thin as mist on my tongue.
He shrugged incredibly arrogantly. “ Truth, I’d be more than happy to test my theory.” His smirk was wicked. “All you have to do is ask.”
My kryptonite. Speaking up for myself. And he knew it. I fidgeted, not quite able to voice what it was I wanted— why was it so damn hard to ask for what I wanted?
“ I dare you. ” He whispered encouragement. “Tell me what you want, pretty girl.”
I wanted him! Obviously! I wanted him so fucking bad, and he wasn’t going to make a move until I explicitly asked him to. Why did he have to be so damn chivalrous?
Everything ached with pounding desire as his gaze dragged over me, just waiting for me to say the word, but what if he couldn’t do it?
What if I couldn’t do it? By myself, sure, kinda, I could make it feel good, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I was really finishing.
With someone else— I’d never even gotten close.
It’d always been way too fast, over before it ever really started feeling good.
Then again, I’d never been with anyone like Carter before. Never with someone I wanted this badly. Who turned me on this much.
Who felt this right. This safe .
What I wanted was dangling right in front of me, just waiting for me to reach out and grab it. Him.
I couldn’t quite do it though. So instead, I grabbed the next best thing. The sparkling pink thing.
Carter’s chest rose and fell with every heavy breath he took just a few feet away, still glued to that same spot.
Fisting the heavy rubber sparkler, I pulled it into my lap, completely embarrassed by the monstrosity of the thing. “I dare you.” I rasped. “To prove you can make me come ten ways to Sunday—with this.”
That was all it took.
His eyes gleamed, as he crooked his finger. “Stand up.”