Chapter 54
Chapter Fifty-Four
As soon as the door closes, I lose my composure. Hand shaking, I drop into the closest chair. “Is he alive?”
Scout stands perfectly still. I’m not even sure he’s breathing.
“Is he?” My voice cracks.
“For now.”
I turn my face away, and chew hard on my lower lip. I hate the part of myself that wants him dead. I also hate the part of myself that wants vengeance.
But one emotion rises above both. I don’t want Scout to murder Adam.
“What business was Truck asking about?”
Hollow. My words sound like I’m inside a tin can. Somewhere lost deep inside of myself .
Scout just stands there. Almost as if he’s at war with himself too.
Aren’t we quite the pair?
“I was surprised you were gone when I woke up.”
He flinches. I catch it out of my periphery.
The timbre of his words is a low rasp when he replies. “I didn’t know Justice would leave you. He had to take the Professor to the next cave. I came as soon as I found out.”
I let myself look at Scout again. He’s wired. But circles darken his cheeks, and his face looks gaunt. “Did you sleep last night?”
“No.”
Worrying at my fingernail, I look past him out the window. God, how I wish anything between us could be easy.
“Have you eaten?”
“No.”
“Let me guess. You’ve been main-lining coffee?”
He watches me with a guarded expression as I walk past him toward the kitchen. “I’ll make you something to eat.”
But he catches up to me and presses a hand to the refrigerator door, his body close enough that I can feel the heat from him, but not touching me. “Your scars…”
A shudder wracks me.
He continues in that rough tone. “Calling me your boyfriend…”
I drop my head, and my tangled hair drapes around my face. I look like a feral animal. But more importantly I feel like a cornered one.
“He’s my rapist. Is that what you want me to say?”
Scout leans into me, cocooning me in his arms, pressing his mouth to the top of my head. After exhaling raggedly, he half growls, “I want to kill him. ”
How crazy is that?
“No. No, please promise me you won’t. He’s not worth it.”
Scout’s scary, silent, and vibrating with the most dangerous energy I’ve ever felt around him.
“I need for you to stop being a barbarian over me.”
His body tenses. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Well you need to. It’s time for the authorities to handle this. You were right, he shouldn’t ever be able to do what he did to me to another woman.”
He rumbles.
I take a breath. “I am sorry you found out who it was that way.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. But you shocked the fuck out of me and your brother.”
I jolt and try to pull out of his arms. “Wait, where is Griff?”
Scout rests his palm against my cheek, his eyes search my face, then come back to hold my gaze. “I’d rather not talk about that.”
My heart plummets. “Is he—” My throat contracts and works, trying to swallow. “I need to talk to him.”
“You need to let this play out.”
“Play out!?” I shriek and back across the kitchen. “If Griff kills Adam, he’ll go to prison.”
Scout leans against the fridge, a look of cold uncaring on his face.
I’m appalled. “You don’t care if Griff gets in trouble?”
He looks affronted. “Of course I care. It would hurt you.”
Clutching the island, I stare at a man I hardly know, but one who knows all of my darkest secrets. The one who also allowed me to touch him when no one else does. But I have no idea what the darkness swirling in his hard gaze is about.
I pull back, curling into myself. “You don’t care if Griff murders someone? I can’t stomach that. I would never look at him the same.”
“I’ve killed.”
So blunt. It’s a punch to my gut. Of course I know this. Scout is a combat hardened SEAL.
But it still unsettles me.
“Aria, your brother and I are both special forces. We’ve taken the lives of bad people. A lot of them.”
I fight flinching.
Scout takes a step toward me, putting him in my personal space. A shiver works through me as I tip my face up so I can see his eyes. Everything about his expression is fierce.
“That fucker lying on that backboard hurt someone I care about. This is personal.”
Tears crest over my lashes. The trails they leave are strangely cold.
I know they’ve killed in the line of duty. I really, really know this. But when you see someone living and breathing and you think about someone you know taking the life out of them, that hits differently.
This whole situation is a nightmare. The fault is squarely on my shoulders. If I had only seen the red flags with Adam.
I shake my head. No, I saw them. I just didn’t heed them.
Pinching my lip between my teeth, I fight the urge to sling my arms around Scout and beg him to leave this alone.
But I don’t. And I still feel weirdly drunk from the meds and my emotions are so wrecked, I don’t know if I’m coming or going. Angry or hurt. Scared or relieved. Raw. I decide that’s how I feel. Completely raw and vulnerable.
Hurt seeping into my voice, I demand, “Why do you care about me, Scout? Is it because I dropped my panties for you? Or is it because I’m submissive? What is it?”