3. Abel
Chapter 3
Abel
I’ve only been at the shop for two hours, and I’m ready to call it a fucking day. I’m tatting a chick who’s been in three times in the last couple of months. This might seem normal to others, but she seriously gave me a creepy vibe and not in a good way.
“I see you cut your hair, Abel? Looks good. I mean, anything you do looks good. Thanks for getting me in on short notice. My coworker said I was stupid for trying, seeing how you’re usually booked up, but I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. You never disappoint, Abel.”
See? Creepy. Her name was Leah, and she had spent upwards of about three grand in my shop, so it’s kind of hard to turn the cash flow away. Even if she made my skin crawl. I’d offered up Spencer more than once, but she politely declined, saying she only trusted me. Spencer said she was just crushing on me, but there’s something odd about her, and I’m just trying to keep that shit contained. In the nicest way possible, that is. I didn’t need her coming back, trying to cut my dick off for belittling her.
“No problemo, Leah. You’ve become a regular here, and I’m thankful for your support. I see you brought a friend today? Hey, girl, I’m Abel. That schmuck over in the corner is Spencer.”
Spencer gave us a nod and went back to cleaning his work area. It was starting to look like a toddler had ransacked it. I couldn’t blame the guy. He was in love. Love would fuck anyone up, but it was great to see my buddy happy. He and Cindy were the perfect pair. Plus, now he didn’t feel like the third wheel in our little group.
“This is my girl, Willow. She’s a traveling nomad, but I’m trying to convince her to stay permanently in Seaside. She’s already seen the best perks of this town. You and Spencie, of course!”
Spencie? Oh, fuck me. I was never letting this one down, even if I died on the hill of consequences. Spencer gave me his famous death stare, so I kept my mouth shut. I was too tired to get my ass kicked. It wouldn’t be a fair fight. I blamed Mara and her baby juices getting all over my car. She was lucky my new niece was so damn cute and that my brother paid to get my car detailed. Yesterday was definitely an event for the book of shenanigans.
“Cool, cool. Well, if you ever decide to get tatted, Willow, you know where to come. Leah may be exaggerating a bit, saying we’re the best perks. Seaside is fucking awesome, and I hope you enjoy your stay.”
Willow dipped her head like I’d embarrassed her. How could someone so shy be friends with the likes of Leah? I mean, I knew there was always the tamer one in a group of chicks, but damn. To prove my point, Leah spoke up for Willow, before she could get a word in.
“Oh, she doesn't like tattoos. She thinks the government can track you too easily with them. Willow is kind of a conspiracy theorist. That just means you have more time to spend with your other clients. Like me, handsome.”
Oh, joy. My cup runneth over with excitement.
“Hey, don’t knock her beliefs or theories. I believe in aliens and the supernatural. Who the hell wants to get probed by an alien or goosed by a ghost? Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night and being sexually victimized by the undead? Not this guy.”
Brenna always thought I was nuts when I checked all the closets in our house before we went to bed. She only has herself to blame, making me watch all those damn horror movies. Especially the ones based on true events. Before you ask, yes, our house has been cleansed and salted. Could you blame me?
“Hey, asshole. Stop chit-chatting and finish Leah’s piece. We told Noah we’d be at the hospital by noon, and we still have to swing by and pick up the girls. Chop, chop. No offense, ladies, but Abel’s a new uncle, and we want to go make sure momma and baby are good to go home. You understand, right?”
Thank god for Spencer. My track of time often got lost when I was in my shop. My phone pinged, letting me know I had a message. Two messages. Three? Fuck. That could only mean it was Brenna, and she was pissed.
My Queen: Where the hell are you and Spencer? You better be on your way to pick up me and Cindy. My niece needs to see her Aunties. It's been thirteen hours! She probably forgot who we are by now!
My Queen: Hello?
My Queen: I swear to god if you're ignoring me on purpose, I'm going to let Mara breastfeed my niece right in front of you!
Me: Babe, she's a baby. She can't remember shit! Me, on the other hand, would be scarred for life if I saw my sis-in-law's tits! We're heading out in a sec, just finishing up with a customer.
My Queen: Fine. Hurry. I love you, jackass.
Me: Love you too, beautiful.
I finished up with Leah and reminded her friend Willow that we’re here if she changed her mind about getting inked. She gave us a shy smile as she stood up to shake me and Spencer’s hands. There was something too innocent and guarded about her, and it made me wonder what her story was.
“Thank you, guys, you’ll be the first to know if I change my mind.”
Leah tugged her hand out of mine, like she didn’t want her touching me. Again with the creep factor. She pulled Willow out the door, and I saw Leah whisper something in her ear. Willow looked back and stared at me for a second, before getting into the car. What the hell was that about? Chicks were strange, man, and I’d never fully understand them. That was the point, though, right? They wanted to keep us guessing and intrigued? Well, it worked. Son of a bitch, it worked.
I did hope Willow changed her mind and came back. I loved newbies, especially when they had virgin skin. Virgin skin was like a drug to us artists. Kind of like your first time having sex. You never forgot your first, and it was the same as getting inked. People always had a story about their first tattoo, even if it wasn’t a good one. I mean, some of us had regrets. Even me. There was a rooster on my left ass cheek, for Christ sakes. Let’s just say, there was both liquor and bad decisions involved. So much so, that Noah had to bring me to the ER to get my stomach pumped. It made me nauseous just thinking about it.
“There’s something off about those two. Piques my interest, though. I’m always up for cracking a mystery. I’m like Scooby hunting for his snacks. You feel me, Spencie? Let’s roll, dude, before my wife does anything hasty.”
Spencer laughed as he said, “She’s not the one you should be worried about. Mommy Mara is extremely hormonal, and if her girls aren’t with her, she may just stop baking you all those cookies you love so much. Also…if you ever call me Spencie again, you won’t need to worry about Brenna busting your balls. I’ll do it for her, and it won’t be fucking pleasant. You feel me?”
He wouldn’t! Would he? Isn’t that a conflict in the bro code?
“Dammit! You’re right. I’m very fond of my balls, so I’m admitting defeat. No more Spencie talk. Also, Mara has great power over me and my cookie addiction. We’d better stop for flowers and candy. Chicks love that shit. Bribery is on the menu today.”
We got to my place, where Brenna and Cindy were tapping their toes on the driveway. Yeah. My balls were going to get busted. Spencer handed them both the caramel white chocolate coffees we made sure to get them. I also took the liberty of grabbing them vanilla bean scones and double chocolate donuts. You could never have too much sugar and caffeine when it came to these two.
“Thank you, boys. I see you’re playing the bribery game today. You’re lucky we needed caffeine, so I guess you’re both off the hook. For now. As long as you get your asses back in that car and take us to our new momma and baby niece. Yes?”
My wife was so damn sexy when she’s bossing me around. She flicked her nails down my cheek as she slapped my ass. She jumped in the car before I could grab her. The little vixen. Now I was going to have a hard-on all damn day. So this was her plan of revenge. I knew she was pissed!
“Oh, princess. You just wait until tonight. Daddy’s going to tie you up and punish that fine ass of yours.”
All I heard was Spencer and Cindy making gagging noises and something about someone needing bleach. That excited me even more. I loved it when I freaked them out. It was so easy too.
“Let’s go, children. Before I change my mind.”
Brenna was smugly laughing next to me, knowing she’d won this round. The war’s not over yet, sweetheart. Before Brenna, I’d never even thought twice about being a dad. Now? I’d like nothing more than to knock up my wife and have a little Brenna or Abel of our own. Plus, it’d be hella fun trying. In all seriousness, though, she’d make the best momma. I saw how she was with other people’s kids, and she was a natural. Who would’ve thought?
I admit, I might have sped a little to get to the hospital on time. I’d rather have a happy wife, even if it meant getting a speeding ticket, which I did not. Win-win. We dropped the girls off at the entrance and went to find parking. It gave us boys a few extra minutes before we were tossed in a small room full of emotional women.
“Are you ready to enter the den of estrogen? We’re outnumbered now, my man. Little Miss is going to learn the ways of womanhood and how to drive the men crazy. Especially with this gang of females.”
Spencer laughed but then realized I was right and froze in terror.
“Dude. You’re freaking me out. All I know is, you and B better have a boy. Even out the playing field. You’re next on the hit list. I’m not ready to change diapers and wipe up puke. I can’t even handle wiping up my own puke.”
We slowly made our way into the hospital, stopping by the gift shop for flowers and chocolates. I’d almost forgotten the bribery gifts until Spencer had reminded me. I knew better than to enter Mara’s room empty handed. Plus, she’d just popped out a tiny human from her vagina. She damn well deserved some gifts of gratitude.
“Is that my baby momma I see? Looking good, hot stuff.”
Mara glares at me then smiles when she sees the box of chocolates. I handed them over, and she snatched them like a starving man.
“Thank you, my sweet brother-in-law. You are the bestest! I don’t care what Brenna just said about you five minutes ago. She’s a big fat liar!”
She started shoveling the chocolates in her mouth so fast, half of them were falling onto her hospital gown. Noah helped her brush them off, like the good husband he was. She blushed from embarrassment, or she was turned on from my brother’s touch. Gross. Now I knew why Spencer and Cindy made gagging noises at my past sexual innuendos about me and Brenna. It was like imagining your mom and dad doing it. Barf. I put my hands out, wanting to hold my baby niece and get my mind on happier thoughts.
“Hand over the baby. She wants to hang out with her cool Uncle Abel. Oh, look at that beautiful girl. I swear, she’s a model already. She got her uncle’s good looks, of course.”
I winked at Noah and Mara as I watched everyone in the room roll their eyes at me. Truth hurt, suckers. I’d make sure no boy touched her. Ever. I meant it. EVER.