Chapter 26 – Sydney
SYDNEY
Date night.
I can do this.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. This is the right thing, I know it is. It’s time to move on, time to let them go. I can’t keep doing this to myself.
Ever since my phone call with Sebastian, I’ve been in a funk. Wanting more of what I can’t have. More of him.
More of their hands on me, all over me, inside me.
I shake the thoughts away and refocus, my eyes adjusting to the dark of the space we’re in, illuminated only by the brilliant white light emanating from the futuristic centerpiece dangling from the ceiling.
The new club Seamus brought us to is gorgeous—and shockingly massive, considering we’ve only seen the first floor.
Everything is decorated in midnight black, the walls, the ceiling, even the floors.
But there are unique textures everywhere to draw the eye, from the velvet curtains covering the walls to the polished granite countertops at the bar.
The booth we’re seated at has a dark rosewood table, impossibly smooth under my fingers, the kind of rich, heavy piece that screams money.
Whoever designed this place must have spent a fortune decorating it.
We’re lucky Seamus’s buddy works the front door, because there’s no universe in which I’d be considered important enough to be let in otherwise. A place like this is on a completely different level than the clubs I usually frequent.
“You okay?” Jade asks, prompting me to tear my gaze from our surroundings and look over at her and her date. Jade met Sienna online last week, and she reminds me a little of a fairy come to life, with her porcelain skin and long flowing red hair. Her lips are painted cherry red to match.
“Fine,” I lie, forcing a smile.
A step is a step, and I’m managing. It’s only natural that I be out here exploring all my options. Maybe someone like Seamus would be good for me. He’s so…normal. And that’s what I need, someone normal.
“Can I get you something from the bar?” Seamus asks.
“Always working,” I joke, trying to sound playful. Flirtatious. It feels fake, though, and I quickly clear my throat to hide my discomfort. “Sure. Thanks. I’d love a gin martini and make it—”
“As filthy as they come,” Seamus finishes for me. “Like I could forget. Anything for you two?”
“The same for us, thank you!” Jade waves him away.
She waits until he’s out of earshot, watching him navigate his way through the crowd, before she turns to me with a frown.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re in a hostage situation right now.
Not having a romantic night with a man that I assume is attractive if you like that kind of… male-presenting thing.”
“He is pretty hot,” Sienna agrees.
“I know, I’m sorry,” I say, twisting my hands together in my lap. “I’m kind of freaking out. I don’t think I remember how to date. What do I even say to him?”
Jade sighs. “Syd, you’ve been dating three different men for the last few weeks…”
“Three? Dang girl, get it!” Sienna giggles gleefully.
I shoot her an embarrassed smile. “I haven’t really been dating them. And with them, everything was just…easy. I never had to think about what I was supposed to talk about or do.” I glance around and catch sight of Seamus making his way back with our drinks in hand. “What do I do?”
“Blink twice if you need me to pull the fire alarm,” Jade whispers.
I make panicked eyes at her as she laughs.
“Here you go.” Seamus slides our drinks over the table and slips into the booth next to me, casually draping his arm over the back of my seat. He takes a sip of his old fashioned, and I nervously choke back half my drink in one go.
“So, Seamus, I was wondering…” I hesitate, suddenly realizing that I don’t know how I’m about to end this sentence. “Um, do you…have any favorite colors?”
Jade chokes on her drink, and Sienna giggles again.
A smile dances over Seamus’s lips. “If I had to pick one, I guess I’d say green.”
“Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” I mutter. My cheeks feel flushed, and I fidget with my drink, too embarrassed to look at him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous before. It’s cute.” He reaches out to take my hand, holding it still. “How about this? Why don’t we put these drinks down and head to the dance floor for a bit? Does that sound good?"
“Oh, sure. Um, did you guys want to come?” I shoot Jade a pleading look.
She ignores it. “Nah, we’re fine. We’ll hold down the fort over here,” Jade—my former best friend—says. She raises her glass at me, grinning. “You two have fun!”
Okay. We’re going to dance. I can do this, I like dancing. No problem.
While I try to convince myself this is what I want to do, Seamus pulls me to stand, holding my hand as we make our way through bodies to the middle of the dance floor.
As if in a bad made-for-TV movie, the song switches from a high-tempo beat to a slow R&B melody the moment we hit the floor.
And before I can even attempt to extricate myself from the situation, he pulls me closer and starts to move to the beat, hands circling my waist.
It’s…nice. But that’s about it. I sway to the music, trying to relax, but I don’t get that fluttering dizzy sensation, that warmth under my skin, that makes it feel like if I don’t get closer to him I could die.
The feeling of wanting him to explore every inch of my body.
It just doesn’t feel like it does with…them.
Like the way Alec and I danced together at the charity ball.
My breath hitches, the memory of that night so clear in my mind.
Alec pressing you against Ash as he explored your mouth.
Feeling Ash harden behind you while sweeping the hair off your neck, gently encouraging you to let Alec have his way.
And then…when you went upstairs, they laid you in front of that mirror and…
Between my legs, I throb, suddenly wet, suddenly wanting more.
Not only that, but I’ve started to sway deep into Seamus’s arms, thoughts of Ash and Alec pushing me closer to him.
My face is nuzzled into his shoulder, and when I look up, I can tell Seamus thinks this is about us.
His eyes are half-lidded, fixed on my lips, his body rolling against mine.
Before I can stop him, he moves a hand from my waist and gently cups my cheek, running a thumb across my bottom lip before lowering his mouth to mine for a kiss.
In any other world, it would be romantic. It would be what every girl wants—an attractive foreign man who can dance, waiting for the perfect moment to kiss her.
But I feel nothing.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I do feel his tongue slowly running along the seam of my mouth, patiently requesting I part and let him all the way in.
And I can’t do it.
I pull back, shifting away from him.
“Sydney?” Seamus’s hands drop away. “I’m sorry, did I misread the moment?”
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong, I just…” I swallow, my heart caught in my throat. “Can we go back to the table? Please?”
Something passes over his face, a mix of surprise and concern. “Yeah, of course.”
God, this is humiliating. I wrap my arms around myself as we push our way through the crowd, back to our booth, wishing I could disappear.
When I get close enough to spot Jade, I immediately notice the panic in her eyes.
And she’s not alone.
I half expected to come back to find Jade and Sienna entwined in the corner of our booth, skirting the laws of public indecency. Instead, I find a terrified-looking Jade, a wary, uncomfortable Sienna, and seated next to them…
Sebastian and Viper.
Sebastian takes up a wide portion of the booth, his arms spread out on either side of him, eyes locking on me from the moment I see him, watching as we approach.
Next to him, Viper leans forward eagerly, elbows on the table, a manic look in his eyes.
There’s a knife standing straight up in front of him, the tip buried in the wood, and Sienna keeps glancing at it nervously.
“Hello, Sydney. We were just talking about you.” Sebastian’s eyes roll over me slowly before he moves his gaze over to Seamus. His jaw flexes, eyes darkening behind his glasses.
“What are you two doing here?” My voice trembles nervously, but I can’t help it. Viper being anywhere makes me nervous, especially here, right now.
He’s not smiling. Viper’s face is cold, eyes merciless.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Sebastian says the words to me, but his eyes stay locked on Seamus. “You see, this is our club. So, imagine our surprise when we saw your face pop up on the security system.”
I swallow hard. I had no idea they owned this club. I just knew it was new and there was a lot of excitement about the opening. When Seamus had volunteered it as the venue for our first date, I hadn’t questioned it.
Fuck. My date.
“Seamus, this, uh… This is Sebastian. And that’s Viper.” I point to them as if Seamus couldn’t see them there. Even seated and relaxed, they emanate danger, command presence. Jade shoots me a surprised look. This is Viper? she mouths at me.
“Nice to meet you.” Seamus grins at them, nothing but polite. He steps forward, holding out his hand for Sebastian to shake, clearly seeing him as the lesser threat. “How do you two know Sydney?”
Sebastian ignores the hand being offered to him, staring at it until Seamus awkwardly shakes it out and steps back. He wraps his arm around my waist instead, giving me a light squeeze.
That was a mistake.
A big mistake.
Sebastian’s eyes land on his hand, and don’t move, his muscles going tense.
“Hey,” I say to Jade, my voice a little too loud. “Can you go grab another round of drinks while I talk to these two quickly? It’ll just take a second.”
Jade, bless her heart, jumps into action. “Of course!” She grabs Sienna’s hand to pull her out of the booth and then turns to Seamus to say, “Would you mind helping us carry? This one stumbles over her feet too much for me to trust her carrying anything I want to survive.”