Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Lucky woke at four in the morning, groggy and disoriented.
It took her a few minutes to remember where she was and why.
As soon as it dawned on her that she was in Kev’s house, and that he was in the next room, her heart flipped.
How was she going to do this? How was she going to spend every waking moment with Kevin MacDonald and not go mad?
God, last night in the restaurant when she’d mentioned Marco, the look on Kev’s face had gutted her. She hadn’t meant to do it, but then his name popped out, and she’d found herself wondering how she could be so stupid.
She sat up and shoved a shaking hand through her hair. What would Kev think of her if he knew the truth?
She shouldn’t have married Marco. She shouldn’t have married anyone after her ordeal. But he’d been so gentle and kind, and she’d fallen for him. Eventually, she’d realized there’d been more friendship between them than raw passion. And they’d both realized it wasn’t ever going to change.
They’d been two damaged people trying to forge a life together, and it hadn’t been working out. They’d been heading for divorce for months. She hadn’t been surprised when Marco had said he wanted one.
She’d been relieved. And that bothered her to this day because he’d deserved better than that. He’d deserved better than her.
She heard Kev’s door open and shut, and she pulled her knees up to her chest. He didn’t want her here. Why would he? He’d called her for months, but she’d never answered. Surely he’d gotten pissed off enough to stop caring how she was doing.
He’d even told her last night that he would have fought against them being paired up for this mission if he’d known ahead of time it was going to happen.
She believed he would have, too. Hell, he still might.
And maybe it would be best—except she couldn’t imagine going after Al Ahmad with anyone but Kev at her side.
Lucky got up and dressed in a pair of jeans and one of the few sweatshirts she had.
She went into the bathroom and brushed her long hair before pulling it back in a ponytail.
Lucky frowned at her reflection. She’d gotten pretty tanned in Hawaii, and she’d stopped wearing makeup because it always ran in the heat anyway, but she’d kill for some mascara, concealer, and a little bit of lip gloss right now.
It would help hide the dark circles and make her look more alive.
Since she needed to shop for winter clothes, she’d add in a trip to the drugstore and pick up some cheap beauty supplies.
Her frown deepened. She didn’t have a car or any way to get around other than to rely on Kev.
She knew he’d take her wherever she needed to go, but dammit, she’d rather be on her own for the training part of this mission.
Mendez wasn’t going to allow it though. Maybe he thought she’d run, or maybe he just wanted her within reach at all times. Whatever the case, he’d made sure she had little choice but to do as he asked.
Lucky finished up and went downstairs around a quarter to five. Kev was in the kitchen, fixing coffee and microwaving something out of a box. She took a deep breath and went in to join him.
“Aloha,” she said, and he turned toward her, an eyebrow ticked up.
“Morning. Coffee?”
“Sure.” She took a step into the kitchen and stood there with her arms folded over her chest. She wasn’t cold—Kev had made sure the heat was turned up—but she was self-conscious. It was strange to be standing here with him when there was so much going on beneath the surface.
Kev poured coffee in a cup and slid it toward her on the counter. “Cream’s in the fridge. Sugar’s there if you need it,” he added, pointing to a jar.
“Thanks, but I drink it black.” She picked up the cup and blew on the steam.
“Didn’t think you’d be up so early. It’s still, what, midnight or something in Hawaii?”
“Or something.” She didn’t want to do the calculations because it would just make her tired all over again.
“I’ve got toaster waffles or frozen breakfast trays. Help yourself.”
Lucky wrinkled her nose. Such a bachelor. “Any bread?”
“Yeah.” He took a loaf from a breadbox and slid it toward her.
Lucky took out two slices, looked carefully for green spots, and pulled the toaster closer before popping the slices in and pressing the lever.
She thought back with longing to the ripe pineapple she’d left on the counter in her rental.
In Hawaii, she’d often fix toast and fresh fruit—pineapple, papaya, mango, whatever was available that day—and head out onto the lanai with her coffee.
She could see the ocean through the trees and hear the power of it as it pounded the shore.
She’d gotten used to that and damn if she didn’t miss it.
One day gone and she was already homesick for the beach.
Not to mention it was fricking freezing here.
The microwave dinged, and Kev took out a tray that looked like it contained scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage. “What?” he said, and she knew she’d made a face.
“Nothing.”
“Of course it’s something. You disapprove of microwave convenience, apparently.”
“Not at all. I just think fresh tastes better.”
Kev shrugged as he stabbed a fork in the tray and speared some eggs. “Maybe, but who’s got time for all that?”
Lucky found some butter in the nearly empty fridge—no surprise it was bare—and buttered her toast when it was finished. “It doesn’t take much time to scramble an egg and cook a few sausage links.”
Kev snorted. “Since that stuff will kill you anyway, what’s it matter if I get it frozen or fresh?”
He had a point. Lucky bit into the toast and waved it at him. “Probably doesn’t. But like I said, fresh tastes better.”
Kev made a noncommittal noise.
“Maybe we could stop at a grocery store today,” she said. “Pick up something for this cold empty box you have here.”
He shook his head slowly. “Wow, just moved in and already taking over. I think I want to go back to Vegas and have a do-over.”
Lucky laughed. “Sorry. By the power vested in Mendez, we’re hitched until this operation does do us part.”
Something crossed his features then, some expression she couldn’t quite read, and she wished she’d kept her mouth shut. But then he was looking at her again with an easy smile on his face. “Guess we gotta make the best of it then.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
She chewed her toast in silence, leaning against the counter and trying very hard not to look at him. He finished up the microwave meal and tossed the tray in the trash. Then he stretched, and her mouth went dry at the bulge and pop of muscle rippling across his chest and arms.
“It’ll probably be a long day today, but I’ll see if I can’t talk Mendez into giving you a car at least. I know you’d like to come and go on your own.”
Lucky swallowed. “I would.”
“I could try to talk him into giving you a room on post. I don’t think he’ll go for it though.”
Her stomach clenched. She knew Kev didn’t want her here.
It was uncomfortable for them both. “I don’t think he will either, but it’s worth another try.
And I’m sorry he dumped me on you like this.
But I can handle it. I was startled when you found me on the beach.
I won’t fly off the handle like that again, I swear. ”
His eyes were unreadable. “What did you say that I didn’t deserve? You didn’t expect me to show up like that. Or tell you we needed you to come back.”
“But what I said about Marco… it was wrong. The job killed him, not any of you.”
His jaw tightened. “I hate that it happened. You have no idea how often I’ve thought of it, how many times I’ve gone over it all in my head and wondered what we could have done differently.
We were betrayed by our source, and we paid a high price.
It’s the job, but fuck yeah, I still wonder if it could have been avoided. We all do.”
Lucky put down the remains of her toast. She couldn’t swallow now if she had to. “I asked him to leave HOT.”
Somehow, she got the words out past the tightness in her throat and then immediately wished she could call them back. Why had she told him that? It was private, and yet there was a part of her that felt a sense of relief that she had shared it with someone.
She’d never been certain if Marco had told Kev about their problems or not, but she could see by the look in his eyes that he was surprised.
“He didn’t tell me.” Kev straightened and pulled in a deep breath.
She thought he looked troubled for a second, but then he looked the same as always.
Stoic and closed in. But he was probably pissed at her all over again.
Pissed that she’d fucked with Marco’s head like that, that she’d tried to take away the job he loved.
“But if he had told me,” he continued, “I’d have told him to go. It’s no life for a married man.”
Lucky blinked. That certainly hadn’t been what she’d expected him to say. And somehow it released the knot of tension in her stomach just a little bit.
“It can be. A lot of the guys and their families handle it just fine. Anyone who marries a soldier knows what they signed on for. And I knew it better than most, since I was also a soldier.”
He was studying her, his blue eyes giving nothing away. “After what you went through, I think it was a normal reaction to ask him to leave HOT.”
She picked up the toast again and took a bite. It was cold now, but she needed something to do. She chewed slowly, though it tasted like ashes in her mouth now. She didn’t talk about what she’d been through with anyone. It was too ugly, too shameful, and it made her feel less than human.
She hated those feelings.
“So what’s on the agenda today?” she asked brightly, once she choked down the toast.
His brows drew down but he didn’t question her. “We head over to HQ and start your training.”