Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Lucky’s heart was about to beat right out of her chest. She knew she should object. Strenuously. She should put her hands on his chest and shove. She should tell him to get the hell out of her room and leave her alone.
She’d told him she didn’t want him. She’d said he didn’t make her horny, and she’d said she would tell Mendez if he touched her.
God help her, she’d lied.
Her hands didn’t go to his chest. They went to his arms, gripped his heavy biceps, and held on for dear life. Her pulse hammered hard, and her nipples strained against the cotton of her shirt. No, she wasn’t cold, damn him. She was excited. Nervous. Scared.
She hadn’t been touched by a man in so long, and even then, even when Marco had been gentle and sweet, she’d been edgy. She was edgy now for a different reason.
Adrenaline pumped through her veins as his head descended. He dragged her closer, until her body was plastered to his, his mouth a whisper away from hers. She wanted it more than she wanted her next breath.
He hesitated. “Tell me to stop, Lucky.”
She licked her lips, her eyes wide on his. “I-I can’t.”
He stared at her for a long moment. And then he swore before his mouth claimed hers.
A lightning storm of sensation exploded in her belly, her limbs.
Her sex. Liquid heat flooded her as her skin sizzled and burned.
She ached in ways she’d forgotten were possible.
She hadn’t been with a man since Marco. He’d been thoughtful and tender, but he hadn’t made her burn.
It had probably been her fears getting in the way—and yet she burned now.
God how she burned.
Kev tilted her head back and thrust his tongue between her lips.
Lucky moaned softly as she clung to him.
He tasted like toothpaste and man and she wanted more of him, so much more.
Her hands slid up his biceps, and then she looped her arms around his neck.
He groaned and pulled her tighter against him until her breasts were flattened against the hard planes of his chest.
His hands drifted down to cup her ass as his tongue demanded more from her. Lucky met him stroke for stroke. The kiss they’d shared so long ago had been sweet compared to this one, tender. This kiss was hot. Sensual. Sexy.
It was the kind of kiss that two people shared when they were desperate for each other.
Kev’s hands drifted back up, shaped her waist, her ribs, before cupping her breasts. He could have gone beneath her T-shirt, but he stayed on top of it. That little bit of consideration made her heart pinch.
His mouth left hers, slid hotly down the column of her throat, and then fastened over one tight nipple.
Lucky gasped at the heat and sensual shock.
Her fingers curled into his shoulders as she arched her back, thrusting her breasts toward his mouth.
She wished she could feel his tongue on her naked flesh instead of through the cotton.
But oh, it was wicked good to feel his mouth at all.
He nipped and sucked, softly, and Lucky realized she was making little panting noises. He stopped and lifted his head, his blue eyes lasering into hers.
“I thought you didn’t want me.”
She gripped his shoulders harder. “I don’t.”
It wasn’t true and he knew it. He laughed softly. “No, you definitely don’t. If I slid my hand into your panties, what would I find?”
She lifted her chin. “I imagine you know very well what you’d find.”
He kissed her again until she was soft and pliant and clinging to him. She felt the change come over him, felt him fighting with himself. “We can’t do this,” he said against her ear. “It’s wrong.”
She wanted to howl. She knew why Kev thought it was wrong, and she knew she should think so too. But she didn’t. Not anymore. “It’s not.”
Kev took a step back until they were no longer touching, and stood there with his brows drawn low and his chest rising and falling as if he’d just run a marathon.
“Marco was my best friend.” He shoved a hand through his hair, his eyes growing wild. “I can’t want his wife. I can’t want to do the things to you that he should be doing.”
Her heart hurt. How could she tell him that Marco hadn’t wanted to do those things to her anymore? That it had been over? To admit that would be admitting there was something wrong with her.
And she just couldn’t do it. Not now.
She crossed her arms and hugged herself, sinking down on the bed as she did so. “He’s not here anymore, Kev. He won’t ever be here ever again.” She swallowed. Tell him. “And even if he was, you have no idea what our life together was like or what path we were going down. Don’t make assumptions.”
He looked angry. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
She ought to be offended, but in truth she was just tired. So tired. She’d spent months running away from herself, from her feelings, from the crumbling foundations of a marriage that had been going wrong long before her husband went on a mission that cost him his life.
“It means there are things about my life—and Marco’s—th-that you don’t have a right to know.”
She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t tell Kev that Marco had wanted free of her. She didn’t blame him because she’d wanted free too. But what did it say about her that the man who’d married her and wanted to take care of her—put her on a pedestal, as Kev thought—had changed his mind?
Kev looked confused. And then he grew angry again.
He was so beautiful it hurt to look at him.
His eyes were clear and hot, his shoulders were broad, and a wave of inked muscles flexed in his arms as he curled his fingers into fists.
“It’s clear we can’t work together anymore.
If you don’t ask Mendez for another bodyguard for this assignment, I will. ”
Her stomach twisted. She knew he was right, that she should ask for one of the other guys—but she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. “If that’s what you want, go ahead. But you’re the only one I trust.”
It was the truth.
He swore softly. “That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. If it was, Marco would be alive and Al Ahmad would be dead—and all those innocent people he killed would still be alive too.
” She closed her eyes and shook her head.
How had she let this degenerate into such a mess?
“I’ll go after him no matter who Mendez assigns to guard me, because he has to be stopped.
But I want it to be you. You’re the one I know best, the one I’m not afraid of being alone with. ”
And that was the truth. He’d touched her tonight in ways that would make her come out of her skin if anyone else had done it. She was still reeling from the realization she’d really wanted more. Not just in her head, but her body had wanted it too.
His jaw tightened. “You should be afraid. We both should.”
He turned and walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.
Lucky stepped into the darkened room at the HOT training facility and gazed at the obstacles in her path. She knew Kev would attack her at some point, and she had to be ready. Her ears strained to hear movement in the darkness and her heartbeat slowed as she regulated her breathing.
Christmas was coming in just three days, but that didn’t mean that training for a mission eased. In fact, Lucky’s training had shifted into overdrive. Every day for the last two weeks, she’d hit the obstacle course, the pistol range, the outdoor range, and the gym.
It was necessary on two accounts. First, she had to be ready or the mission could fail. And second, it kept her busy and exhausted enough that she didn’t keep dwelling on what might have happened if Kev hadn’t backed away from her after that kiss.
He was still her bodyguard, her trainer, her constant companion—but they didn’t talk much anymore.
She asked again for her own car and a room, thinking she needed some time to herself before they went to Qu’rim and she and Kev were forced to play husband and wife.
Mendez did not approve the request. Not that she’d expected he would.
Though it was awkward as hell, she’d awakened early every day, showered, put on her jeans and a sweatshirt, grabbed breakfast and coffee, and piled into Kev’s truck to ride the few miles to the military base that housed HOT’s facility.
And then she spent the days honing her skills with the men who would be staking their lives on her ability to find the evil needle in the sand dune.
It wasn’t the same intensity of training they’d gone through to become HOT operators in the first place, but it wasn’t easy either.
She worked hard, and every night she went home exhausted and fell into bed before eight o’clock.
She didn’t dream because she was too tired to dream.
Lucky forced herself to focus on the terrain. She crept from one point to the next, ever aware of what was happening around her. There were noises—loud bangs, animals, people moving—and then there was silence. She moved forward slowly, trying to be aware of what was happening around her.
And then someone grabbed her from behind and shoved a gun beneath her jaw.
Lucky forced down the panic that was her constant companion during the hand-to-hand stuff and let her instincts take over.
She just did what she’d been taught, grabbing the wrist holding the gun and twisting from beneath her assailant’s grip.
Another flip and twist followed by a sharp blow to the elbow and she had control of the gun.
Kev grinned at her as he shook his arm out. “Great work.”
She dragged in a breath and willed her heart to slow.
She knew that if he’d reacted as he’d been taught, she wouldn’t be standing here with the empty weapon.
But he’d been acting as an assailant without Special Ops training, and therefore he hadn’t prevented her from taking the gun.
She knew he could have done so with terrifying speed, and she shivered beneath her sweatshirt.
“Thanks.” She flipped the gun and handed it back to him grip first. The hand-to-hand combat had been her biggest worry, but she’d made it through.
Because of Kev. He’d been the one to initiate her, and he’d been the one to direct her training.
He’d told her he couldn’t go easy on her, but he’d in fact been harder on her than anyone else.
When she’d faced the others, they’d been tough—but not as tough as Kev.
He’d forced her to work hard and to concentrate on her actions rather than on what he did to her. And that had been the key to making it work. Once she let go of her fear and reacted on instinct, she succeeded.
“Hey, Big Mac,” a dark voice cut in. Lucky spun toward the entrance, her heart kicking up. Her adrenaline was already pumping hard, but the interruption only served to ratchet it up because she was already in fight mode.
Jack Hunter stood silhouetted against the door, as quiet, deadly, and coolly handsome as always. Man, he gave her the shivers. “Mendez wants to see us in the ready room.”
“Give us a minute.” Kev’s voice came from behind her, equally calm and cool.
“Sure.”
Jack disappeared and she turned back to Kev. His gaze pierced her. “It’s not too late to ask for another partner on this mission.”
Lucky’s belly flipped. “I told you I didn’t want anyone else.”
He stared at her for a long moment. And then he shrugged. “Just thought you should know that I understand if you’ve changed your mind.”
“I haven’t.” But she knew he wished she had. After that hot kiss they’d shared, after the way he’d had his mouth and hands on her starved flesh, his indifference hurt more than it should.
He turned away from her while her heart throbbed with hurt.
Lucky sucked it down and followed him. He put the weapon and their gear away, and then they walked through the corridors to the ready room.
Mendez sat at one end of the conference table while the rest of the guys ranged around it in positions of utter relaxation or knife-edged readiness.
Lucky took a seat and concentrated on the colonel. He looked grim—but when didn’t he?
As soon as they were all there, he launched into it.
“We’ve had information. The king’s forces are strained at the seams, and there’s been some dissension in the ranks. We think someone on the inside is communicating with the Freedom Force, but we can’t be sure. And the king is unwilling to believe anyone in his inner circle would betray him.”
“The mine?” It was Matt who’d spoken.
“Still in the government’s hands, but we’re no longer certain that matters as much as we thought it did.
If someone is conspiring with Al Ahmad, the government could collapse much sooner than we expected.
The balance of power could shift at any moment.
I don’t have to tell you that we can’t let that happen. ”
The men murmured agreement. Lucky’s heart pounded as she thought of the film and what Al Ahmad would do if he had that mine. What if he changed his mind about the chemical weapons and someone gave him nuclear technology instead?
The looks on the male faces around the conference table told her they’d all thought the same thing.
“We’re inserting before New Year’s,” Mendez said, and Lucky’s stomach dropped. She’d always known they were going to Qu’rim, always known she would be that much closer to Al Ahmad—but having a definite date rattled her in a way that all the training and planning hadn’t yet managed.
She glanced over at Kev, found his eyes on her, and jerked her head back to the front of the room as Mendez punched a button, and a PowerPoint presentation flared on the screen in front of them.
“Here’s the plan…”